If it was decision to make, I definitely would not have built this universe or willed it into existence. We are born (or placed) into a world with incredible beauty; however it is more than offset by tremendous amounts of intense pain and misery.

I do not need to tell any of you about all of the suffering that is an inevitable part of the human existence.

Our loved ones fall sick and die. Our bodies grow old and crumble. Our planet throws in the randomness of famine, hurricanes, volcanoes, tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, floods ... and let's not forget all the bacteria, viruses and diseases that plague our very existence.

We live in closed homes that were originally built to protect our species from the harsh environment around us, including animals that would eat the flesh off our bones if given the opportunity.

No matter what we do we will all suffer extreme emotional pain (assuming we live long enough). We will watch loved one perish. We will have tremendous financial stress. Money, what a strange concept. The vast majority of us need to be paid in some sort of currency to produce anything. Man's world can only function if we're greedy.

If we are lucky enough to live in peace in one part of the world, our lives can be shattered by a random madman on another part of the world.

There is no explanation.

Even in the animal kingdom an animals existence can be extinguished because another species of animal is hungry. Man's existence seems exactly the same. We suffer the same fates as an animal.

On the other end of the spectrum is happiness. Happiness is fleeting and short lived. We experience happiness in small moments while pain and suffering last far longer.

And lastly let's not forget the torment within our own minds; the pain inflicted on ourselves in moments of quiet.  (Where do those thoughts even come from; those thoughts that keep us up at night, that we have no control over).

So now here are my third and fourth known facts. This existence is chaos meant to make us suffer. However it all leads back to the same question: why?

3) I live in chaos.
4) I am meant to suffer.

And now comes the hard part. There are 4 things that I know. The rest is unknown. I can only hope that I will uncover more questions, therefore possibly finding more answers.

We have no answers without questions.

And since we will eventually die and cease to exist, why live at all? Why not simply end the suffering now? What difference extending my existence make in the grand scheme of things.