'Twas a week before Christmas. Miraculously, there have been no Corrupted to ruin the serenity of the holiday spirit. The mansion is quiet, the air stagnant. Nothing but the forest snickered as the wind tickled its craggily, snow flecked branches, no leaves in sight. You could say that not a creature was stirring, not even a—.

"Ladon! No! Put Jeff down!" Ao exclaimed authoritatively. "Down I said! Down—no, that's not—you're not even trying!"

The great, black furred beast finally listened to his master after having felt sly and stolen Jeff from off the porch when he least expected it. Ladon dropped Jeff from his mouth, and the young man slumped to the ground with an "OOF".

Ao ran up to him, shooed her oversized pet away, and asked Jeff, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled in reply.

Ao kneeled down, checked his face. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into him. He was doing fine one moment, and then he turned around and snatched you up in the next. That's not like him."

"Well, at least he let me go. Damn furball."

"Let me make it up to you," the brunette girl beamed. "How about I make you my famous pancakes? You know, the one with chocolate chips in them!"

Jeff frowned. "Sounds nice, but I think I'm gonna change out of these slobber-drenched clothes first."

"No worries. I'll be in the kitchen..!"

"Uh-huh." Jeff simply looked away. Ao couldn't help but feel a very different vibe from him this time. Could it be the weather?

Ao escorted Jeff inside, but not before giving Ladon a quick scolding, to which he snorted at her in response. He was lucky Jack hadn't been out here, or else the behemoth would've gotten more than a scolding with that attitude.

Jeff and Ao went their separate ways. The young Proxy couldn't help but skip into the kitchen, eager to make those pancakes. But upon entering, her eyes couldn't help but catch the calendar posted on the fridge. Only the first day of December was checked off.

"Funny," she murmured to herself, "it seems like it's been December 1st for a while now..."

She spotted Ms. P in the living room and asked her, "Ms. P, what's today's date?"

The pale complected, black clothed woman looked at her cute watch and answered, "Oh, it's December 18."

"Oh, December 18," Ao repeated softly. Then her eyes went wide. She turned to the calendar again. December 18. A week away from Christmas.

A week away from Christmas and the mansion wasn't even ready.

"CRAP," Ao cried out and ran out of the kitchen, forgetting about making the pancakes.

She ran about, knocking on everyone's doors, calling out their names, disturbing them from slumber or leisure. When everyone was up and about, she called a meeting to the study room where her work mostly took place.

"What's the problem?" Jack asked, concern lining his voice.

"Corrupted?" Masky questioned with distaste at the subject.

"No, no," Ao replied. "Nothing major, but this is important."

Ben yawned and his elfin ears wiggled as he did. "What is it?"

Ao couldn't hide the smile from her face and boasted happily, "Everyone, Christmas is a week away!"

A silent response. A cricket began chirping. "What the fuck," Jeff grumbled, looking down at the singing insect at his feet. And then he stepped on it. It stopped chirping.

"Oh my god," said Ms. P.

"Dude," Ben murmured.

"What...?" Jeff hissed.

Ao continued speaking before things got too awkward. "Anyway, aren't you all excited? It's gonna be Christmas! We have to get the mansion ready."

"But we don't have any decorations," Masky commented.

"We'll get some! Ben and I can go shopping!"

"And a tree?" Hoodie asked.

"That too! Or maybe it should be real? In that case, we'll take a look in the forest! Ugh, how long has it been since I've used a real tree? I can just smell that pine scent already! Oh, it'll be wonderful!~"

"And presents?" Sally murmured.

"Not all of us can just go out and buy something," Ben stated.

"Hmm. You're right. Oh! We can do secret Santa! You all give me a list of things about yourself and I handle the swap and buying! It'll be great! Just like school. Ah, but nothing too outrageous. Wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad. I remember what happened with Jessica Turner. Poor, poor Jessica. That ferret should've at least been fed before getting put in the box."

Everyone stared at her questionably.

"I wasn't her secret Santa, by the way. Not me. Definitely, not me."

Still more staring.

"...Okay, half of it was me. Kayla was the one who forgot to feed Looney."

More staring.

"....okay I forgot to feed him—but, this isn't about me! We need to start decorating and getting into the good ol' Christmas spirit. This will be my first Christmas with you all and I want it to be amazing for everyone!"

Ms. P chimed in, "I agree..! It would be a nice change of pace around here."

Ao bounced on her feet with childish excitement.

Ben smirked. "Yeah, I'm game. Been a while since I celebrated Christmas."

"Charlie and I want in," Sally chirped and raised up her teddy bear. Everyone flinched away instinctively.

"We'll chip in too," Masky said on behalf of himself and Hoodie.

Jack scratched the back of his head. "I don't celebrate Christmas, so I can't relate in the excitement, but I'll help too."

"Great! This is wonderful!" Ao was absolutely radiating joy. "And Jeff? How do you feel about this?"

The dark haired man looked up at Ao, startled at being called out so suddenly. With that same despondent look from earlier, he cast his eyes away and muttered, "No, thanks."

Ao's smile faltered for the first time. "Why not? Is something the matter?"

"I just don't want to celebrate. That's all."

"But Jeff, it can't be Christmas without you," the young Proxy argued, trying to convince him.

"I'm sure you all can manage. Besides...you don't seem to have a problem trying to make it Christmas without Ellie too."

Ao's joyful, Christmas focused spirit had been taken down a notch in an instant, and wouldn't recover for a while. The study had gone cold, silent. She was kinda glad the cricket wasn't alive to make things worse with its chirping. With a huff, Jeff walked out without another word. Now everything felt off.

Embarrassed of her previous behavior, Ao added on in a softer voice, "W-Well, I'm sure he just needs some time to himself to take this all in. Let's leave him be for now."

"Actually, I should probably make sure he doesn't do anything...brash," Ben mumbled hesitantly before leaving the room in silence.

"Ah, I need to prepare dinner," Ms. P announced. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me!"

"I'll help her," Sally quickly sputtered as she followed the tall woman out of the room.

Masky shifted in his spot and said, "Maybe I can get started on looking for a tree? Yeah, I-I could do that. Outside. Away from here. Hoodie come on."

"Huh? Wait, I'm not even—." But the hooded man didn't have time to finish as his friend dragged him out of the study, both of them still in their pajamas.

This only left Ao and Jack in the study.

With a sigh, the brunette girl slumped onto the mahogany desk and said, "No one wants to do it."

"I'm sure they're just coincidentally busy," Jack tried to assure her.

She held her head. "Jeff is right. This can't be Christmas without Ellie. Everyone knows he's right and they don't want to celebrate for it."

"Maybe he just needs time like you said. Same goes for everyone else. They have been working a lot."

"Yeah. I should let them enjoy their break."

"And," the eyeless man went on, "if all else fails, it could always just be us."

Ao smiled feebly. "Really? I thought you didn't celebrate."

"I can make an exception for you. It's the most wonderful time of the year, right?"

The young Proxy giggled. "Yes, it should be. I guess Christmas doesn't have to be grand, although it would be nice. Yeah...I can make do with what I can."

"There's that can-do spirit," Jack replied with a smile of his own, one that wasn't so weak as hers. His dimples revealed themselves and Ao delighted in the sight.

"We can start by getting lights," she began as she stepped up to her boyfriend. "Oh, and then we could get—."

Suddenly, a gurgly growl interrupted the newfound lighthearted atmosphere. Ao looked down at Jack's stomach. Jack looked as if he was guilty of a heinous crime (other than eating people, of course). He held his stomach as it growled again, begging for food.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"It's okay. Do what you have to do. Take your time."

"But.."

"It's fine, Jack, really," Ao told him and gently squeezed his arm. Jack knew by experience that it was never fine when it was 'fine, really', but he didn't want to get into it now.

Just like that, Ao was alone again. Jack had gone to prepare for another hunting trip, and she knew he wouldn't stick around to give a ceremonious goodbye. If he had to hunt, he had to hunt.

"I guess I'll do everything myself for now," she muttered to herself. "How hard can it be?"

...

She soon learned that it was, indeed, extremely hard.

Due to it being a week from Christmas, universal procrastination brought people bustling through stores for gifts, decorations, food, and more.

"Oh god," Ao grumbled looking at the people crowding check-out lines. Those tables of cheap, generic Christmas cookies were almost empty, and she couldn't imagine the state of everything else.

"Okay, you can do this Ao. Just grab and go. Grab and go!" The young Proxy rubbed her gloved hands together as she hyped herself up.

What quickly started as 'grab and go' turned into 'look at someone else get the thing you were about to take and sigh with frustration'. She wondered why everyone was in such a flurry. It's only a week away until Christmas! And then she saw it.

A sign by the cheap, generic cookies read: 40% SALE ON EVERYTHING! BUY NOW!

"Biiiiiiiiiiitch," Ao muttered. Sometimes she hated this part of Christmas. Damn capitalism.

She quickened her pace around the store to try and find the things she wanted for the mansion. Ornaments for the potential tree, outdoor lights, indoor lights, wreaths, tablecloths, scented candles that either smelled like cinnamon or death, whatever she thought would be Christmassy!

In the end, all she ended up with was a small box of red ornaments—and it wasn't even a shade of red she liked.

"There's nothing here for me," she said to herself. She thought, at least she could get a box of those cheap, generic cookies. To scarf into her face and drown her sorrows in on the way home.

Defeated, she went to the tables and reached for the last box of cookies. Out of nowhere, another hand grabbed for it too. It was an old woman. Oh, of course it would be an old woman.

"Oh, you were reaching for this too?" Ao began politely.

"Yes, my family do love these generic cookies, hehe!" the old woman giggled with a charming grin.

"Mine, too," she lied. She knew she had to persuade the lady to give up the cookies.

"Who wouldn't? Plus, it saves me so much time. You know, I used to bake my own cookies, but now my hands are not what they used to be. They're fragile, old, a bit shaky. Why, I tried to bake a few years ago and I burned myself badly! Cried and cried my eyes out, but not because of the pain, but because I ruined the cookies that were going to be for my family. That was the last time I baked. My family could never taste my delicious cookies again, and I felt terrible that I couldn't bake all my heart for them..."

Ao smiled through the woman's heartfelt speech, but inside she was screaming. Damn old people and their sad, aging bodies!

Her strongest characteristic became what betrayed her, and Ao relented and said out of the kindness of her heart, "It looks like you need these cookies more than I do." Then she let go of the box.

The old woman smiled and eagerly took the box of cookies. "Thank you so much, dearie. Godspeed you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Ao managed to chime. Although she didn't get what she wanted, she supposed allowing someone else to be happy was more than enough.

But then she caught the old woman muttering, "Stupid bitch."

Ao's jaw dropped. What the fuck.

"Hey! I heard that!" she cried out.

The old woman turned with a saintly smile on her face. "Heard what? I didn't say anything."

"Give me those cookies back," the brunette demanded. Without a moment to lose, she grabbed onto the box to take it back but was surprised to see that the old woman's supposedly "fragile" hands were stronger than she thought.

"Buzz off, missy," the old woman hissed.

"N-Not until you give me the cookies back," Ao protested. She was taken aback by the old woman's sudden animosity.

"I ain't letting a snowflake like you steal these cookies from me..!"

"It's not stealing if it isn't yours in the first place!"

"Guess it ain't assault if it's technically self-defense."

"Guess it isn't—wait, what—."

The old woman smacked her giant leather purse in Ao's face, which felt as if it housed a damn bowling ball (maybe it did, purses are crazy nowadays). The young Proxy stumbled against the table while the old woman made off with the box of cookies like a cheesy, cinema burglar. Angered, she chased after her and it didn't take long to catch up with the quickly hobbling figure. Ao was able to snatch the box of cookies and continue running away. She laughed boastfully as she did.

Suddenly, something hit her hard at the back of her head and knocked her to the floor. When she looked around, she found a tin of Altoids on the floor. The old woman closed in fast and got on top of Ao to take the cookies back.

"Get off me!" she exclaimed. Surprisingly, no one around even attempted to stop this ridiculous altercation.

"Stupid girl, give me those cookies!"

"No!"

"Then maybe some mints will make do!" The old woman grabbed the tin of Altoids, popped it open, and proceeded to shove a bunch of the tiny, white bastards into Ao's mouth.

The brunette coughed and sputtered. "Oh god! Agahgh, it burns! It burns!!!"

"Ooo, what's this? How do you feel about laxatives??" The batshit-crazy, old woman took out a bottle of laxatives from her hunking, death weapon known as a purse.

Just before Ao could get force fed laxatives (wow, never thought that would be a sentence), she threw the box of cookies away at the last second. That distracted the old woman and made her get up and release Ao. The bottle of laxatives was carelessly thrown at Ao's face and the old woman ran to get the cookies.

But she was not bested. Ao had calculated her throw so that it would land in the center of a clothes rack. She quickly ducked into the middle of another one, closed her eyes, and instantly teleported to where the box of cookies was. Perfect! No one would be the wiser about her magic either. Smiling triumphantly, she ran out of the clothes toward the safety of the checkout lines.

But her escape was halted by the old woman running her over with a shopping cart full of items, apparently one that was being used since another customer chased after it in distress. Ao laid on the floor, disoriented from the hit. She noticed she had dropped the box of cookies a couple feet away. The moment she started to crawl towards it, the old woman pinned her down again, grinning menacingly.

"You messed with the wrong ol' coot, brat!" she hissed. Then she reached into her purse and pulled out an actual bowling ball.

"Holy SHIT, I thought the narration was kidding!" Ao screamed in a panic.

"Thirty pounds of urethane right here, bitch!"

"You're insane! They're just cookies!!"

"Should've thought about that before you decided to steal them! Now say nighty-night! Hahahahaha!!!"

As Ao braced for the harsh impact of a thirty pound, professional bowling ball crushing her head, the two of them heard a small child exclaiming, "Mom, I found the cookies you wanted! Look! Look!"

Ao and the old woman looked over to see a little girl skipping away with the box of cookies in hand. There was an awkward silence between them. The bowling ball was still raised in the air, unused. Well then. This is a situation.

"Looks like no cheap, generic cookies for either of us," Ao murmured.

"You kidding me? I ain't letting another little shit take them. Come here!" The old woman quickly got up and chased after the little girl, wielding the bowling ball like a weapon. Seconds later, there was terrified, high pitched screaming and Ao gaped in absolute horror.

"Hell no, this shit ain't worth forty percent off," she hissed and got up to leave the god forsaken store, with a newfound fear of old women.

...

So she didn't end up getting anything. As far as things go, she had no luck at other stores either, and she was too fed up to continue her search. Ao missed Jack already, knowing he would've been supporting her, egging her on. But he's probably gone by now, off to hunt. Her only ally in her Christmas mission, gone.

Ao trudged through the forest, too disappointed with herself to want to immediately go to the mansion. Not even the chilling snow could force her to move on quick enough. She was exhausted, aggravated, and most of all, sad.

"No one wants to celebrate Christmas," she said. "It feels like everyone is in a sour mood. Why? This is supposed to be a jolly time of the year. Even Ladon was off today, and he's always so happy. What can I do? Dammit, what can I do??"

Just as the frustration stung at her emerald green eyes, a voice called out to her from behind. "Dear Ao Matsukochi...! Fancy catching you wandering the forest so vulnerably!"

The young Proxy whirled around and readied her magic at her hands. What—or who—stood in front of her shocked her to her core.

"Zalgo??" she murmured.

The crimson eyed Lord grinned and sang, "Surprise."

"I...I thought you were dead. You're supposed to be dead!"

His cunning demeanor shifted. "Well, I should be, but for the sake of this Christmas special, I'm not. It only makes sense for what I'm about to tell you."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

None of them spoke for a few minutes. Zalgo cleared his throat.

"Anyway, my dear Proxy! I am here!"

"Great, first everyone at the mansion gets gloomy, then I fight off a homicidal old lady for some stupid cookies, now I have to deal with you too?? How bad can this Christmas thing get??"

"Ah, so it worked..!"

Ao furrowed her brow. "Worked? What worked?"

"Everyone is in a piss-poor mood, you say? It will only get worse!"

"What are you taking about? What did you do?" the brunette hissed.

"Oh, darling, naive Ao," Zalgo purred as he sauntered across the snow. His black figure contrasted so eerily against the crisp, pure white snow. "You see, I have been devising a new plan to take over the human realm and kill you and your friends off for good. Unfortunately, the preparations are not complete yet, so in my boredom I sought out something else to do in the meantime. That's when I heard of all this Christmas mumbo-jumbo going on. I never much cared for it...until I learned of the big man Santa Claus. Shall I go on?"

"I mean, I have nothing else to do, and I need to hear of your devious plan so I can later on foil it and restore order to the world like the hero I am."

"Great! So, as I was saying, I found out about Mr. Claus. Such a powerful, jolly entity! I never realized the magnitude of his influence on the entire human race. Why, people revere him more so than Jesus Christ, the man which Christmas is named after! How bullshit is that?? Anyhow, I decided to confront Santa myself, see what he's all about. I mean, he has the humans wrapped around his fat, pudgy finger! How does he do it?—I needed to know."

"And what did you learn?" I asked.

"Nothing really," Zalgo deadpanned. "He said some stuff about spreading love and joy to everyone, promoting peace and equality, blah, blah, blah. Stupid happy-go-lucky talk. It was gross. Long story short, I stabbed him."

"You WHAT???"

"His belly is surprisingly resistant."

"Wait, wait, wait, you stabbed Santa Claus?!"

"Yeah, I just said it. You should get your ears checked. I'm concerned for their health."

"You stabbed Santa!"

"And killed him."

"OH MY GOD."

"Would you prefer I make him suffer from horrible stab wounds? How cruel of you. So inconsiderate."

"Jesus, this is a new low, even for you," Ao retorted, completely shaken by the news.

"I don't know whether to be complimented or insulted."

"Is that why everyone is so gloomy? Because Santa is dead? Oh my god, of course. Of course this had to be your doing!"

"This wouldn't be a Christmas special for nothing."

"I know, but killing Santa??"

"To make things better, he can be replaced. He's like the Proxy. Someone can fulfill his duties. That's what he said."

Ao gaped at him. "You mean to tell me Santa Claus works like the Santa Clause movies??"

"The movies?"

"You've never seen the Santa Clause movies?? With Tim Allen??" Ao gasped. Zalgo stared at her with a blank expression.

"That just makes this exchange worse," she muttered.

"Whatever. So he's dead. Now that he's gone, the humans won't have their holly jolly Christmas! They'll become glum, unmotivated, cheerless—easily manipulatable for my coming plan and new reign!"

She stared at him in disbelief. "Dear god, you're going to become the new Santa Claus...!"

"What? No. That...wasn't my plan at all, actually. I was just going to let the humans fall into shambles and leave them like that until I come back. But...becoming Santa Claus sounds like a much better idea!!"

"Ah, shit...."

"I can see it already! No more presents, no more joy, no more carols! And especially no more 'Happy Holidays' to include the non-Christians! Merry Christmas for all because that's sure to piss everyone else off! So much exclusion and controversy! It's genius! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"

"You monster!"

"Oh, I try," Zalgo chuckled. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to fit myself a new suit. And this one's gonna be red and white!~"

Before Ao could charge forward to stop Zalgo, he vanished in a flurry of black ink that stained the snow. She fell to her knees and punched at the ground, feeling defeated once again.

How could this happen? Of all things, why Christmas? This was unacceptable!

"I have to get to the others," she panted. "I have to tell them what's going on! We have to stop Zalgo! We...We...

"We have to save Christmas!!!"