The week flies by, and now that it's Friday, the nerves have set in. Cam is picking me up in an hour. As I get ready, an idea hits me. Instead of wearing my regular name-brand clothes, I clean out my closet and move all my ripped jeans and band t-shirts to the front. I've packed a whole three bags for donation, and it feels refreshing.

For tonight I'm going to be me and put on a dress I've been dying to wear. I remember my lone trip to Hot Topic during the first few days I had my license. I wanted to reward myself for passing the test. But, when I walked into the store, the dress was out of place, like it was meant for me to find. I fell in love with the golden celestial print against the black background.

I need to know how Cam will react to me being - me. I reach into the back of my closet and pull out my favorite shoes. I retired them for a while, but I think they'll go well with the dress. I slip the white doc martens on and stand in front of the mirror. This is perfect.

As I finish with my makeup, Cam obnoxiously beeps his horn from the driveway. I roll my eyes. This date is already off to a great start. He's not even going to come to the door. I grab my bag and head downstairs. I leave a note letting dad and Lucille know I won't be home for dinner and head out.

He revs his engine like he's bored waiting. I slide into the car, and the first thing he does is peek down at the shoes on my feet. His brows raise, but he says nothing.

"Hey," I say, with the best smile I can muster.

"Dinner first or movie?" He glances up at my eyes for a moment before his attention falls back on the boots. It's been less than a minute, and already he's shown me that he can't handle the real me.

My stomach growls. "Dinner. I haven't eaten since lunch."

He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He speeds off down the driveway like he's racing in the Indy 500. Two men drone on and on through the radio speakers about the upcoming baseball season. Usually, the sound comforts me as much as I hate it because it means I'm with Cam. Tonight, I can't help but lean over and attempt to change the station. He bats my hand away.

"Dude, it's almost baseball season."

I sigh. "Right."

I rest my head against the headrest and close my eyes. Then, gripping the seats, I try taking deep breaths to calm myself. I'm already regretting saying yes to coming out with him tonight.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "Heard from any colleges? I got into Syracuse in New York."

"Wow, that's amazing. I haven't heard anything yet. I'm waiting on Brooke Wood Community and a few others."

"Community college?" His jaw tightens.

Cam is a bit picky when it comes to colleges, and the thought of community college irks him. It used to bother me too, but then I realized I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, so I applied.

"Yeah. I'm not sure what I want to go for. Doing two years in community college isn't a bad thing. It's actually a smart move." I shrug.

"It's just all the low lives usually...."

I shoot him a look. "Not all low lives, Cam."

"I just think it's a waste to go to a community college. There are so many more opportunities in a university." He drones on, and at one point, I try to tune him out.

"You think I don't know that? Sure, I have the money to pay for whatever college I get into, but I'm only eighteen. I could change my mind in a few years with what I want to do," I say.

This was the reason I didn't say anything when I applied. All my life, I expected to go to school and become a famous writer or journalist, but I'm not sure what I want now. I want to make sure that whatever it is, I make the right choice for me. I've seen firsthand what happens when you don't follow your dreams.

I stay quiet as we pull into the diner parking lot. He gets out and waits for me at the front of the car. I wait and observe him as he tugs his phone from his pocket and absently stares down at it. Then, attempting to keep my composure, I step out of the car and meet him at the front. He takes my hand in his, and we walk in complete silence into the diner.

"Yo Cam!" His friends call from across the room.

"Hey, get us a table. I'll be right back."

He gives me a quick peck on the cheek before running over to his group of friends in the far corner of the diner. My shoulders fall as I watch his face light up more than it did when I got in the car. Then, deflated, I turn to head towards the hostess.

"Marnie?" A familiar voice asks.

I turn around and come face to face with Ramona. Something like relief hits me. There's a strange sense of home that radiates off her.

"Hi, Ramona," I say.

She smiles. "Looking for a table?"

I nod. She knew I wasn't dating Flint, but her finding me with someone other than him fills me with a strange sense of guilt.

"Follow me. How many?"

"Two, my boy... my friend is over there." I point at Cam.

Ramona grabs some menus from the small booth at the front and smiles. She leads me to a table on the opposite side of the diner. I take a seat, and she places the menus face up on the table.

"It was good seeing you dear, hope to see you around soon."

"Yeah, you are too." My voice comes out soft and almost breaks at the end.

I blink several times, trying to fight the random tears popping up into my eyes. My heart hurts. I loved spending time with her and Connor. They are great people.

"Hey."

I jump as Cam slides into the other side of the booth.

"Let's do an early movie. I've got to be at Pete's by ten," he says.

There's no indication that he even notices my distress as he takes the menu in his hand and hides his face. My brows lift, and I stare off at the front of the menu he's holding.

"Excuse me?" My words finally surface.

"Oh, it's just there's this thing because of our wrestling meet tomorrow...."

It's not even worth the fight. I'm positive I've lost any will to fight for the boy sitting across from me.

"It's fine. I have to get up early anyway. I'm doing something with my dad."

Cam places the menu on the table then waves his hand in his hair. Out of all the waitresses in the place, Ramona is the one who ends up coming over.

"I apologize. It's a little busy today," she looks at me and smiles. "Your waitress just left, and I'll be taking over. What can I get for you?"

"I'll have the burger," Cam says right away. "Onion rings, not French fries. My girl will have the same."

"Actually..." I say, glaring at him. "I'll have the chicken wrap with the crispy chicken. Lettuce, Tomato, and I want French fries."

Her eyes dart between us. She watches me with a sorrowful look on her face. She writes down the order then takes the menus from us. I give her the best smile I can muster. It takes her a second before he walks away. Her knitted brows cause worry lines on her forehead. I nod to let her know I'm okay.

"What the hell was that?" I ask once she's out of earshot.

"What?"

He looks at me like he's done nothing wrong.

"You always get the burger." He shrugs.

"Well, tonight, I don't want it."

We eat in silence as Cam toys with his phone, smirking every few minutes. The only time I speak is when Ramona comes over to ask if we need anything. Before we leave, I make sure to find her in the sea of people that have arrived. I give a polite wave as Cam, and I exit.

"So, what are we seeing?"

"That new action movie with..." he pauses when he sees my face. "I got you something."

He wiggles his eyebrows and pulls out two boxes of Swedish fish from his pocket. "They're still your favorite, right?"

I smile at his effort. He swings his arm over my shoulder and smirks. "See, I still know how to make you smile."

I recall our first date as a real couple. We were too young to have a car, so we walked to the park near his house. We spent the afternoon playing on the swings, even though we were far too old to be there. Afterwards we had pizza in town and played games at the arcade. He won me a cute little sloth stuffed animal with all the tickets he got from playing skee ball. He was so nervous that at the end of the date, he asked me to kiss him. I found him sweet, and at that moment, I thought I'd felt fireworks at the feel of his lips on mine.

"Hey." Cam stands in front of me.

"You're my girl, right?"

I don't even know how to respond, so I shrug.

"Look, I'm sorry I've been a little testy lately. I'm just stressed."

"Cam." I blew out a harsh breath. "It's not only that. It's the fact that you're not the same boy that took me on a date to the park. Something's changed recently, and it has me questioning our relationship."

He gasps like it's an awful thing he's heard all day. "So, are we done then?"

"That's all you're taking away from this conversation. I'm not sure what I want."

He lifts his phone again to check it, then back at me. "It sounds like you don't want to be with me anymore," he says. "You haven't exactly been the girl from the park either."

"You're right. I'm not." I cross my arms.

"Clearly." He eyes my outfit and doesn't even hide his disgust.

"The girl from the park was afraid to show who she really was. So, she held things back, afraid that others would judge her. She's still terrified and apparently has every right to be since someone is judging her by her clothing choice right now."

"Marnie, that's not... I'm not...."

"Cam." I hold up a hand.

"I don't want to lose you." He steps forward, and I swear his voice breaks at the end, but I could be hearing things. "I would never judge you for being you."

I shake my head and stare down at the dirty sidewalk below my feet. Then, I dig the toe of my boot into it.

"So, where do we go from here?" he asks.

"I'd like to go on a date with the boy I fell in love with. Do you think he's here somewhere?"

Cam reaches under my chin with his finger and pulls it up to make me look at him. In his eyes, I see that boy, but standing here right now, it's not him. I miss when his touch would make me shiver.

"He's right here, Marnie." There's no meaning behind his words. His eyes stare blankly at me as if he were staring right past.

"Then prove it to me."

Cam leans down, his eyes never leaving mine. "Marnie Bennett, can I kiss you?" he asks.

I know it's wrong, but I need to see if there's anything there. He leans down and presses his lips to mine. He's trying to be sweet about it, but it feels all wrong. I pull away.

"You still want to see the movie?" he asks.

I don't really want to, but we're already out, so I nod.

***

While we wait in line for tickets, my attention floats around. A familiar laugh pierces me like a knife. He missed school today, but thankfully Mr. Shepherd didn't call on us to read our prompts, so I only had to hand my paper in. I wonder if he handed his paper in.

Beside him is a girl covered in tattoos. Her hair is a colorful array of red, orange, yellow, and green. She's like a real live My Little Pony. She shoves him hard, and they laugh again. A strange feeling bubbles inside of me. He's flirting with someone that isn't me, and I have to fight the urge to go over there and break it up.

The line moves up, and I turn my attention back to the booth and Cam. I can't even be mad because I'm here with Cam.

"Everything okay?" Cam asks once we're inside.

I hadn't realized that I'd been distracted looking around for Flint and that girl. I turn to him and give him a small smile.

"Everything's fine."

I don't know why I tried so hard to make this night work, but deep down, I know it never will.