My brain refused to shut off last night, so before the sun rose, I went downstairs to find something to eat. Lucille was already awake, dad too. Their voices echoed through the house. He was trying to convince her she didn't have to clean up after us and cook anymore, but she argued with him, and in the end, won. She loves taking care of us, and I realize it was never because it was her job. It was because she loved us.

When I enter the kitchen, they both stare at me, in shock that I came out from my room. I'm determined to go to the hospital today, but as I sit at the table eating breakfast in silence with the two of them carefully tiptoeing around me. I decide to check in on his family instead.

A few hours later, while I'm getting ready to leave, there's a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in!" I expect it to be dad or Lucille. It's Tanya's small frowning face peeking around the frame.

"I'm sorry to barge in. I heard about what happened." She stares down at her feet and remains unmoving in the doorway.

"You can come in." My voice wobbles as I say it.

She takes a step forward, and even before she gets another word out, there's a glistening in her eyes. We have never been mad at each other, and it tears me up inside. She glances around the room. Her sights land on all of the clothing I wore as a disguise strewn out all over the bed. I managed to clear out my whole closet overnight when I couldn't force myself to sleep. I plan on bagging it all and sending it off to donate. Those clothes are no longer who I want to be. The person who wore them was not a good person.

"Donations," I say flatly.

She nods like she gets it.

"Marnie, I am so sorry about the other day. I honestly had no idea he was there. I didn't mean to cause any problems. You're my best friend, my only friend." She pauses and swallows hard. "Aside from Pete, you're the only one who matters to me. We both have kept our distance from Cam and Rose. I don't know what's going on there, but we're on your side."

A sob escapes her lips, and she covers her mouth with her hands. Her cheeks turn a shade of crimson beneath her trembling hands. Tanya has never been this upset over anything. I'm not going to forget what happened, but I also don't want to be mad at her anymore. I need someone who will accept me for who I am, and she always has.

I take long strides across the room and crush her to my chest. Then, with my emotions high, I cry along with her.

"I never want to fight with you again," she cries, only making me hold on tighter.

"Me too."

After more minutes of hugging and crying, we finally pull away. She wipes her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so emotional. I miss you so much."

I smile. "I understand completely. Look at me. I'm a disaster." I half-laugh. "I'm heading out right now, but maybe this weekend we can spend some time together and catch up."

"I'd love that. Not having you in my life, Marnie, was the most painful thing I've ever felt. Even more so than my mom missing school events." She pauses for a moment to collect herself. Her tears have finally stopped. "Can you drive me home? Pete dropped me off."

"You might have to fight Derek for shotgun. I have to take him to a friend's house." I grin at her, and she smiles back.

"Oh, it's on," she says.

***

After I drop Tanya and Derek off where they need to go, I pull into the commons, a small strip of stores just outside of town. I park in front of Game Central and Comics, Anime & Beyond. I've hit the holy grail. I want to get something for Connor and Parker in hopes it would make them forget what was happening.

Flint had once told me during one of our conversations about his old Nintendo. They had been searching for the old Duck Hunt game. He also told me about Connor's love for Superheroes. I end up with a video game and a comic series from the comic store.

When I arrive at his house, I park next to Flint's abandoned car in the driveway. It's weird seeing it here knowing he's not home. It takes me a minute before I can get the courage to knock on the door. When I finally do, his grandma opens the door.

"Marnie, sweetie Ramona isn't..."

"I know. I came to see the boys. I have something for them," I say, holding up the bags.

She smiles and steps aside for me to come in. Sitting on the couch is Parker and Uncle Bill. The two of them are playing an intense game of Mario Kart.

"Hey Marnie, it's good to see you," Bill says from his spot on the couch.

"You too."

Before I can say anything else, Connor comes running in from the kitchen and slams into me. His tiny arms wrap around my body, and he rests his cheek against my stomach.

"Marnie, you're here," he says, squeezing tight.

"I am," I say, trying not to cry.

"I've got something for you, buddy." I hold him at arm's length, getting a look at his sparkling eyes.

He smirks. "Oh, I like presents."

I hand him the bag from the comic bookstore, and he tears into it, nearly ripping the comic. He pulls it out.

"Spiderman!" he yells.

"Thank you, Marnie, thank you so much." He hugs me again, squeezing tight.

"You're welcome, buddy."

I cross the room to where Parker and Bill are. Parker's a little less enthusiastic than Connor. He plays his game in a zombie-like state. He saw way too much of what happened. His behavior is justified. He witnessed the trauma that occurred. I'm sure it's harder on him than anyone.

"Hey, Parker," I say, sitting next to him.

"Sup," he replies, continuing to concentrate on his game.

"Your brother said you guys were into old school games..."

I've gained his attention. He pauses the game and puts the controller down on his lap to look at me. I hand him the bag from the game store. He lifts his gaze, raising a brow at me.

"Go ahead." I urge him with a smile on my face.

He looks down into the bag and pulls out the old gray cartridge. His eyes light up as he digs into the bag for the rest of it.

"Duck hunt? You freaking found Duck Hunt?"

A smile crosses his lips. I glance over Bill, who blows out a long-relieved breath. Then, over Parker's shoulder, he mouths, thank you. I nod in reply. I'm sure it's been hard for Parker to smile through all of this. Seeing him smile because of something I did makes my heart happy.

"This is amazing, Marnie," he says. "Thank you."

"Oh man," Bill says, combing through the stuff. "This is my game."

"Play it with me?" Parker asks Bill.

"Boy, this is my game. Be prepared."

The two get up and head over into one of the bedrooms to get it set up. As they leave, his grandma strolls over and settles down on the old couch beside me. We both gaze over at Connor, who is lying on his stomach, feet in the air engrossed in his book.

"That was very kind of you, Marnie. The boys need a distraction from everything. Will you be going to the hospital? Ramona said you were there yesterday."

"Not today. Dad and Ramona think I should go about my daily routine and go back tomorrow. Any word?"

She shakes her head. "She hasn't called yet today to update."

I'm tempted to go today, but I promised dad I'd come home after I was done here. He said he was going to be home and thought we should spend time together.

"You should go and do something for yourself. I'm sure he'll understand if you're not there every minute of the day."

A beat of silence passes between us. The thought of not going today is creeping up on me, and I let a tear slip.

"He was angry because of me, and I feel like I owe it to him to be there... I..."

The lump doesn't want to back down. It's waiting for me to say something emotional to strike. I'm trying so hard not to blame myself, but I still can't erase Monday from my mind even after what Ramona said.

"You didn't cause this..."

She places a hand on my shoulder.

"I do know that, but I can't stop thinking...."

I don't finish my sentences as a huge sob escapes my lips. I bury my head in my hands and cry. The guilt hurts. He should be here with us, joking around and just being Flint. It's only been two days, but I miss his voice so damn much. The hurt deep down is like someone is putting a knife to my heart.

"Honey, listen to me." She pauses, waiting for me to look at her. I lift my gaze. "None of this is your fault. His father would have done something like this eventually. It could have been anyone. Why Flint was the target that day, we will never know. Just because he was upset doesn't mean it was your fault. The only person responsible for this is his father."

"I know, it's just..."

"No, don't think about it. Do something amazing today. Get your mind off of it. Hang out with friends, get some fresh air, anything but blaming yourself for something you didn't do." She leans in and gives me a small hug. "He's going to be okay. It's probably just a concussion. Have faith."

I give her the best smile I can muster. Then, after I pull myself together, I get engrossed in Duck Hunt for a few minutes with Bill, Parker, and Connor. The boys make me feel better, but there's still that nagging feeling pulling at my heart that he should be here having fun with us too.