"Are you alright?" I heard my friend ask. If not anything at least her question helped me to turn my gaze from someone.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied giving her a small and forced smile. Deep down my heart was crying, my body was cold and my soul? It felt like it has already left my body.

"You don't look fine, what is it?" Nikita inquired again. Standing there like a statue was the same as making myself look more vulnerable than I already was, so I gathered all the courage left inside me and faced her.

"I swear I'm fine. Let's go from here." I stated and took her to the other side of the hall. My mind told me not to look back but my traitor heart did its job very well. Even though I didn't wish to look back, I did and saw that smiling face again...the same face which always had the power to rule my whole heart.

2 years, after almost two years I'm seeing him and even after such a long time...he still has the same effect on me. One glimpse of him and I'm already pushed back into the ocean of memories.

I pitied myself with just the thought of it. For the past two years, I have been telling myself that I moved on however now it feels like I did nothing other than fooling myself. I'm still the same girl who is head over heels for someone who doesn't know about her existence.

"Who was that guy?" Nikita asked once we were far from everyone. Did she caught me staring at him? Man, this is so embarrassing. Either I will have to lie now or tell the truth.

"Which guy?" I questioned back. I didn't wish to repeat my story in front of her, ultimately living those moments again. I badly wanted to forget them all and even thinking about it was a sin.

"The same guy you were ogling at. I doubt if you even blinked since the time he entered."

Was I really ogling at him so hard? Of course I was. But what was my mistake? He is someone I called as the love of my life....so isn't it obvious that I can't turn my gaze away from him when I was actually seeing him after two years?

"Who was that guy? Someone, you have a crush on?" She asked, this time making me smile a little. Crush? Nah, he was more than that. He is someone who holds a special place in my heart ever since I saw him.

"No. I wasn't staring at anyone, you are overthinking." I replied and took her towards our group to engage myself but whom was I kidding? Every part of me wanted to go and see what HE was doing.

"I guess our seniors have invited their friends to our fresher's party." One of my friend said. Oh of course they did, I wonder why they did that. Was it not possible to have a party without them?

"Do you know anyone from them?" Arya asked me. Well, there are definitely many similar faces but I know only one of them and that's all matters to me.

"No." I lied.

"What? They were your seniors during your graduation, you should know them. In fact, you must be having a crush on one of them." She teased. Crush? Nah...I loved Sameer.

"Is that Sameer?" A friend of mine asked. How does she know him? I turned to look in the direction where she pointed and saw him coming towards us. No doubt I love seeing him smile but how can someone smile continuously? Can't he understand that his smile is creating wonders inside me?

"Oh yes, he is." She said happily. Now, why is she so happy to see him?

"Who is he?" Nikita asked.

"The one in white t-shirt. He was my senior in school. I had a major crush on him but unfortunately, he had a girlfriend." Smita replied. I was hurt by her confession but what hurt me more was the thought of him with his girlfriend. Are they still together? I guess they are and it's better if I don't hop on that topic.

"Let's talk about something else," I said to change the subject however they were stuck with it.

"He looks good." Nikita complimented. I turned to look back and saw him very close to us however like every other time he went away without even glancing at me, so once again I became that same girl who admired him from afar.

"Yeah, he definitely looks good and also is a good human being," Smita answered. Good human being? Of course, he is...I was always proud of my heart for loving him but now I wish I never had caught feelings for him.

"What is wrong with you? We came here to enjoy but you are looking lost. Is everything ok?" Arya asked. Before Sameer entered of course everything was ok. I was enjoying it a lot but now I feel suffocated. I want to run from here. I don't want myself to be affected by him but here I'm already vulnerable.

"Maira?" Nikita called again. I was about to make another lie but was stopped because of the announcement made by one of our senior regarding the next game.

"Let's go and see what game they are planning," I said and took everyone towards the stage. The senior was explaining the game however no one liked it because it was like a competition between seniors and juniors, so after some alterations, they decided to equally divide seniors and juniors into teams and then play. I was happy with the decision because it was fair enough...if seniors and juniors are playing together, they will share a bond however my happiness immediately faded when I came to know that Sameer was in the same team as mine. Here I'm trying to run away from him but my fate is playing games with me.

On the left side of the stage was our opponent team and on the right was our team. Sameer was standing like three persons away from me and even though there was much distance between us... I felt a weird feeling building inside me. With every second I was getting more and more nervous. I didn't knew what exactly was wrong with me but I felt like crying.

"Ok, so now from your teams...we will group you guys into two and that pair should come and do paper dance for five minutes. While the opponents are allowed to distract them." A senior announced. Lol, I'm already very distracted...what can distract me more? I laughed at my own question but stopped immediately because of a thought that crossed my mind. What if I have to dance with Sameer? No, I can never do that. I felt my heartbeat raised. I have never been close to him so I got a little excited to experience how it is like and on the other hand I told myself that I know it won't happen ever. I stood there silently and waited for the announcement of names.

"As we don't know the names of you all, we will just close our eyes and name a random colour. Whoever is wearing that colour should pair and if it is a tie... please sort it yourself."

What a stupid game. I cursed under the breath and waited for their announcement.

"White and red." The senior announced. Damn! I looked at myself and then remembered the person who is wearing white. This can't happen...I don't want to dance with him.

"We have a tie here," Nikita said. I looked around and saw that even Smita was wearing red. Hell no. Just now she confessed having a crush on him and now the thought of her dancing with him made my blood boil. Wait, why am I angry? I didn't wish to dance with him and now that everything is happening just as I wanted...why is it not feeling right? Damn Maira, why can't you move on?

"You choose," Arya said looking at Sameer. Choose? No, I will be very sad if he doesn't choose me ....it will be like breaking my already broken heart.

"Hey please don't do that. I'm fine with whatever decision you make." Sameer replied. I didn't dare to look at him.

"Maira will go. I'm very bad when it comes to dancing." Smita announced. I looked at her with wide eyes. I was very much shocked to hear it coming from her.

"I'm serious. I can't dance. You go ahead." She replied happily. Wow! No not wow...I will embarrass myself in front of him...I don't want to go near him.

"Ok? So everything sorted?"

"Yeah," I replied and went towards the place where Sameer was standing.

"Get to know your partners and plan your strategies...till then we will arrange for the paper and song." The senior said and went away. I felt Sameer keeping his mobile back into his jeans pocket however even now I didn't dare to look at him.

"Hi." He greeted. This voice! Sameer greeted me....he actually greeted me.

"Hello," I replied.

"Name?" He asked.

"Maira."

"Sameer." He replied as he brought his hand forward for a handshake. I know your name... I know many things about you which you can't even imagine a stranger to know about you.

"Nice to meet you," I said bringing my hand forward. My voice was so low that I barely think he heard it but nonetheless, we did shake our hands. The feel of his large and strong hand against my tiny little one felt so amazing. It was just a firm handshake for him but for me, it was like a lifelong achievement. I can't believe, This is happening for real.

"You were my junior in degree college, right?" He asked. Does he know me? Wow, that would be another achievement.

"You remember?" I asked and immediately felt stupid for doing that.

"Yeah. I was your junior." I replied with a smile. This line is the only time where I can say, I was YOURS! He smiled but didn't say anything further. I felt my forehead sweat because of the nervousness, the rapid beating of my heart made me weaker and weaker, almost as if I was going to fall.

"Hey guys, we are extremely sorry there is some problem in the music system." A senior announced. I should have been happy with the announcement but I felt like smacking the head of that announcer. It was my first and the last chance of being with him and these people had to spoil everything.

"But no issues, we are trying to solve it. Till then let's play some other game." He said further, disappointing me more now. I hate my seniors, I hate this party, I hate everyone here...no, not Sameer.

"See you," Sameer said and once I nodded, he turned to leave from there. Before I could realise, he was already beside his friends whereas I was like a statue there. Why all my dreams had to break like that? This was one of the most memorable days of my life but nothing as such happened. He went away from me even before it started. Maybe, I have something bad in me.

"Let's go. He is gone now." Nikita said and pulled me with her. I felt like crying. Big fat tears were forming in my eyes and at no point I wanted them to stop. I wished to cry my heart out and so I excused myself and went to the restroom. I looked at the girl in the mirror, who had tears in her eyes but they refused to come out. She wanted to be strong but she was helpless. Why did it happen to me? Was I not trying to forget him? I don't even look for his social media accounts now then why am I still feeling so close to him? Why can't I forget him and end it all? Why why why?

I didn't had any answer and that was troubling me more. Not knowing what to do, I took out my mobile and called someone who knew everything about Sameer. I called someone who was the only person to guide me in this situation. Rina! I didn't expect her to receive the call but she did.

"Hello." I cried.

"Hey Maira, are you crying? Is everything ok?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"Rina, I saw him today." I somehow managed to reply.

"Whom?" She asked however I was not in state to say his name.

"He still has the same effect on me yaar. I'm still the same lovesick puppy who is not able to get over her feelings." I cried more.

"Wait, You saw Sameer?" She asked. I nodded even though I knew she was not in front of me.

"Why is he at your freshers party?" She asked angrily.

"I don't know. I don't know anything but please help me, I don't know what to do."

"What's wrong? Did you guys talk?" She asked. I narrated the whole incident to her and again requested her to help me. For the past one year, she has always been there for me. She knew about my every single feeling for him and always helped to get him out of my mind but my bad that I failed her. All her efforts were in vain just because of my stupid heart.

"Stop crying and listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you and neither you are weak. For once stop overusing that little brain of yours."

Man, I'm already hurt and yet she is making fun of me.

"Are you listening?" Rina enquired.

"Yeah."

"Ok, listen to me. You were very much successful in forgetting but all your memories came back because you never had a proper closure. Remember..you wanted to say so many things to him but never did? That's the only reason why you feel like this." She stated.

"Then what should I do now?"

"This is your chance Maira, have a proper closure. Tell him you are the one who sent that letter. Tell him everything that you feel and end it here."

"What if he gets angry?" I asked.

"Stop it girl. You know he isn't like that. Remember how impressed he was with your letter? Also you yourself said that he is the most harmless person. Now please go and do as I said, will you?" She asked and I nodded again. I guess as Rina said I should surely have a proper closure.

The girl who entered here five minutes ago was very weak and lacked confidence but now, the girl coming out has gained all the courage she has and is going to do something she should have done before.

Fixing my hair and makeup I came out of the restroom and saw everyone busy among themselves. The music system was working properly however there was no sign of that game anymore. I looked around and finally saw Sameer talking with his friends. This smile always made my day and after this night, whenever I remember it, I want to remember it with a smile on my face...I don't want this smile to hurt me.

You can do it!

I took slow steps towards the place where Sameer was standing, he seemed to be very engrossed in talks that he didn't notice me however his friend did. He smiled at me whereas I did the same.

"Sameer," I called once I was next to him. He turned to look at me, there was no smile on his face but once our eyes met, he smiled.

"If you don't mind, can we talk?" I asked. I saw his friend smiling maliciously at him but I was least concerned about that. I don't care what these people think, talking to Sameer is all that matters to me.

"Sure," Sameer said and moved towards me.

"Yes say." He said however I requested him to come out as the music was way too loud.

"Sorry for bugging you but it was important," I said once we were out.

"No problem. Tell me." He said. Is he in hurry to go away from here? Am I making him feel uncomfortable? Maybe I am.

"Ok. I will be very quick. I want to confess something."

"Yes?"

"On 8th July 2020, you received a letter on your Instagram about a girl being crazy for you," I said and stopped to look at Sameer. He had some mix expression on his face. Confusion and eagerness.

"I was the one who wrote it," I replied looking away from him for barely a second. This time he was looking at me with wide eyes but soon he composed himself, smiling again.

"Woah."

"I'm shocked. I can't believe this." Sameer said still smiling brightly. When I brought him outside he didn't looked much happy however now there was no odd feeling among us.

"Your letter totally made my day. It was heart touching. I felt so special that day." He continued. The amusement in his eyes was clearly visible. That little dimple on his right cheek proved that he was genuinely happy and smiling.

"I never thought I will come to know about the person who sent it."

"You never asked," I replied abruptly. No doubt I was disappointed when he didn't ask about my identity but now I have accepted that, so it doesn't hurt anymore. He did right by not asking it and I'm grateful for it.

"I'm sorry..you know.."

"It's ok. I know you have a girlfriend." I said cutting his sentence. Just the thought of him with someone else makes my heartbreak into million pieces but now I really want to get over this feeling.

"How is life going?" I asked.

"Good. Yours?"

"Perfectly fine," I replied. We both were standing silently until he initiated.

"If you don't mind, should I ask you something?"

I would never mind him asking me anything.

"Please."

"All this time you never revealed your identity, why now?" He finally asked something I wanted him to.

"I need to have a proper closure Sameer. I realised it was a bad idea when I didn't replied you that day. Today when I saw you enter the hall... something didn't felt right."

"In future, if we ever cross paths, I don't want this ill-feeling inside me. Having a proper closure is the only solution I have." I replied. He nodded.

"How is your girlfriend?" I asked and saw another bright smile forming on his lips.

"She is good. What about you, found someone?"

What an insensitive question! But ok, I can make maximum use of it.

"Nah. This love and relationships still doesn't please me. I'm happily and proudly single." I replied smiling as much as I could have.

Now what? I didn't ask Rina how to have a closure? What am I supposed to say now?

"Thank you so much," Sameer said.

"For?"

"Sending that letter. It was best." He replied. My hands were as cold as ice. Even I didn't know what was happening to me, I wanted to cry and smile at the same time. My first real talk with Sameer, something which I always dreamt of. I was happy to talk with him but at the same time, the fact that it was our goodbye was hurting me.

"Do you want to ask or say something?" Sameer asked. Our goodbye is coming close. I felt tears welled in my eyes. I didn't wish to cry in front of him so even though I had many things to ask and tell him, I shook my head.

"Let's go inside," I said and saw him nod.

"Bye Sameer," I said and turned to leave. The moment I back faced him, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I heard him saying something however he was not able to complete it because of the sudden coughing. I stopped in my tracks and looked at him.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I went towards him.

"Yeah. Something went in my throat." He replied. He was trying very hard to stop himself from coughing but I guess it was not possible for him.

"Wait, I will bring water for you," I said. He tried to stop me but I ignored it and moved towards the shop on the other side of the road. I quickly fetched a water bottle and looked at both sides of the road. When I was sure there was no vehicle and I was safe to cross the road, I moved ahead until I felt something hit me hard and within no seconds I felt myself being thrown on the road. I heard the screams of people but I felt too weak to get up and see what happened. I was lying on the road. I wanted to stand but my body was not supporting me. My vision was getting blurred... eyes refused to open. I saw people standing around me but no one came to help.

"Maira." I heard a voice call. Sameer!

"Oh god." He exclaimed and turned me around so that my back was on the road now.

"Get up, please. Please don't close your eyes." He said tapping my cheeks. Sameer, he is Sameer. It was the first time that I heard my name from him. Even at the distress, I was, I felt myself smiling. I was contained with happiness. I met an accident and I'm going to die now but what an ultimate solace it would be, to die in his arms.

"I'm going to die now," I said however because of my weak condition it came out as a whisper.

"No, nothing will happen to you." He said while keeping his phone on his ear. No matter how much he tries, my heart told me I was not going to survive. Hardly one or two minutes more and then I will be gone from this world. I closed my eyes and remembered my life, my family...my friends. My love was already beside me.

"Maira, get up. Nothing will happen to you." Sameer assured tapping my cheeks again. No love, you can't defeat my death. I'm dying.

"Sameer," I called as I lifted my hand towards his cheek.

"Should I tell you something I never told anyone?" I asked.

"Yes." He nodded holding the wrist of my hand which was on his cheek.

"I love you, I always did...I still do." I somehow managed to say. His grip on my wrist loosened as he looked at me with shock.

Maana ki iss janam uska na bana paye,
Pr agar agle janam banao, toh uska hi banana!

"Bye," I said and involuntarily felt my eyes closed. I heard Sameer calling me again but I was unable to open my eyes and that is the last thing I remember from that night!

Next day,

"Are you fine now?" The nurse asked entering my ward.

"Yeah." I managed to reply. She was here to give me my medicines so I got up and turned towards the place where she was standing.

"Who kept these flowers here?" I asked the moment I saw some flowers kept on the table. I looked at the clock it was 8:30p.m, I guess I slept for a very long time.

"Oh, this." She said as she took the bouquet and passed it to me.

"Someone named Sameer gave it to you." She replied giving me yet another shock. Sameer came here?

"Did he came here?" I asked and came to know that yes, he was here with his friend but as I was sleeping he kept the flowers and went away. What the hell...why did I sleep and why no one asked me to get up. Sameer came here for me... I was supposed to meet him.

"He kept a letter inside that bouquet. Have these medicines and then read it." She said however I ignored it completely. I searched for the letter and finally got it. It was a handwritten letter and had his name written in the end.

Hello,

I'm glad to see you recover soon. Yesterday I was worried for you. You went to bring water for me and all this happened, I'm sorry for that. If it was not me you wouldn't have been in this condition now. Anyway, I'm really happy to see you doing good. I hope you get fine soon and start living a normal life away from these bandages and medicines.

Lastly, I hope you get all the love and happiness you deserve. You are a great human being and I pray all great things come on your way.

Thank you so much for everything.
Bye, Take care ✨
  
                                       -Sameer.

"Hey, you shouldn't cry. It will make you more weak." The nurse said. How was I not supposed to cry after receiving such a sweet letter from Sameer?

I felt bad that I was not able to see him but his letter made my day. Yesterday it was so stupid of me to think that I was going to die. In that stupidness, I confessed about loving him. His loosened grip on my hand made me think that he was angry but he proved me wrong.
This letter is literally the sweetest thing he did.

I don't know if we will ever cross paths but I definitely know that he is the sweetest guy I know and he will always be in my heart. Maybe, this is our proper closure.

Sameer saved me, he gave me a new life. I got everything from him but never his love!

***