• Dumping loads of stuff on your readers

He walked into the room, his muscles rippling through his clothes until they were non-existent and I could see his skin. His blue eyes, brown hair, thick eyebrows, slim nose, thin lips and tanned skin were of no importance as I skipped to the juicy part. He was wearing a red top that magically disappeared and green trousers that disappeared behind the chair he sat on.

He wore shoes that could bulldoze a skyscraper. The shoes were white in colour with blue, yellow, green, and orange streaks that slaughtered my eyes like a rainbow I have never seen. Back to his muscles, did I tell you how ripped they were? His biceps and triceps flexed and his back muscles swam beneath is skin, running around his back as he did whatever motion – oh, he was sitting down.

His pecs bounced up and down and I tried hard not to follow his nipples. His sixteen pacs jutted out and stood like rocks, reflecting the light that came in through the window like a brilliant mirror. Magical sweat, I call it.

A god was sitting near me.

I doubt a book with such description exists as it’s something I thought on the spot but there are books with such grave amounts of info dumping.

I at least tried with letting the reader know that he’s sitting somewhere with a window beside him, but some writers would solely focus on the character when the readers have no freaking business what the colour of his boxers were.

Oh, I forgot to include that.

Anywho. The simple word “ripped” was enough to tell us about the character without having to go through a proper dissection.

Your readers would skip the hell out of your book and so would your reviewers.

I sometimes score character zero and when the writer mentions their characters were good . . . all I could remember was paragraphs upon paragraphs on this;

My name is Sally Ingredient Dictionary.

As you’ve seen through the freaking mirror, I have blue eyes and green hair. My hair is silky smooth by the way and I use it to fly to school.

My nails are trimmed and I have blue skin.

Oh, I’m not done.

I have always hated riding bicycles since I was little and my favourite food is macaroni and carpet grass. It tastes like macaroni and cheese but it’s what it is. I hate my brother. He’s an insignificant little prick that brings girls into the room. It is mostly the reason I can’t sleep well as the walls pound with my parents sleeping like the dead.

By the way, I am wearing blue shorts with a green sweater and yellow gloves. I will also wear designer high heels and large earrings that kiss the floor and ceiling at the same time. It’s fashion, don’t judge me. I will be eating blah blah blah.

Once again. The shit show written above has NOTHING to do with character. In fact, no one would sit around reading all that. It is boring.

Have you also forgotten the fact that your readers would have their imagination take over?

You can never have total control of how readers visualize your book; another reason I dislike casts. Did I mention casts are cool if they are art done by you, the writer? You know your characters best.

For something like this, it’s best to sprinkle the description as you go. You should also note that details are not exactly necessary in your description.

World building has that serious issue I will explain in the next chapter. Especially fantasy and science fiction writers.

Did you know info dumbing is a large sign of telling in writing?

We have beautiful info dumping and trashy info dumping. But all in all, they are not needed. All you are just doing is making your work a pain in the ass to read.

Info dumping of characters is the common thing and it’s dumb and very disturbing. Especially when you stop the story to describe their physical appearance in detailed paragraphs. No, snooze head! I don’t want to know the number of facial pores she has!

It is a serious pet peeve when I see this in books.

Why do I want to know if your character got her sweater from her cousin?

Why would I want to know what she ate when your plot has nothing to do with food?

Why would I want to know the name of her dog when the dog doesn’t even appear in the book?

There is also another huge problem with info dumping.

Why do you have the sudden urge to give so much back story all at once at the beginning of a novel?

For those of you who say;

“I have tried and tried, but there is no other place in the book the backstory could fit!"

Shut up you!

There are many ways you can handle backstories and the first chapter or first few pages of a book is NONE of them!

Some of you would start novels with the character describing their life experience and how terrible it was from the day they were born.

I won’t talk about how it is a horrible form of writing but I will first mention the readers. This is actually something a lot of writers pointed out but I still want to say it. Especially when 80% of books on this app contain such bAcKsToRiEs.

WRITERS TO READERS

Writers.

Who created the book?

Who brought to life all the characters, world, cultures and art into the book?

Of course, you did. And your readers know that too.

But what they may not know is the loads of information behind the scenes of that book. Even things you didn’t include in story.

Now, the book alone has a lot of information you spent MONTHS TO YEARS accumulating and perfecting. And the funny + insane thing you want to do is let these readers swallow all that within a few minutes.

Do you see my point?

No?

Okay.

You cannot expect your readers to memorize a bucket load of information about a particular character or worse – a whole world when you couldn’t even get all those things together in a few minutes. Do your readers look like gods to you?!

Of course, the smart reader either drops the book or skips the info dump to continue the story; earning them a confusing and boring experience MOSTLY because of your lack of finesse and consideration for your readers.

Your maths teacher cannot enter class and teach you a whole syllabus in one day.

Would you even understand a single thing?!

NO!

Along with any other subject, you would struggle!

The same thing applies to your novels. It is incredibly annoying when you put hordes of information in one huge clump and expect a reader to ENJOY your book. Not even you can do that if your memory was wiped and you had to stomach your creation in a span of minutes.

Couple this huge problem with other factors I will list.

WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER?

Huge backstories at the very beginning of your book (unless introduced subtly) is wrong for another reason.

You are supposed to make your readers care about your characters/MC and not throw a whole history of their lives at the reader from the day they were born. This kills a reader’s impression of the MC and makes them uninterested.

“Why should I read about such a boring character or a character that happens to have the EXACT SAME TRAGIC BACKSTORY as other characters in other books?”

You should keep something in mind. There is no one who cares about your work as much as you do and this can blind us. What you think is perfect might turn out to be . . . not so well . . .

I was reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and it took me a few chapters to learn that the second main character had been physically abused by her brother and that HIT me. It was only revealed within a few lines but believe me when I tell you I would have never had that strong an effect if I knew about that from the first chapter!

Why not?

Because I was having a connection with a lovely/pitiful girl I already knew or was coming to know. Not some random stranger whose details I was forced to swallow before even sympathising with the character.

If you think giving readers detailed experience of your character right from the get go will make them have a connection, you are wrong, my friend.

Now there are stories that do things like these in the beginning but that is if they are done well. And if you notice, in books like these, the writers are quick to make the reader sympathize with that character right from the beginning and even when they do that, they simply don’t info dump the characters.

You have to make your readers feel something for your characters and you are THOROUGHLY mistaken if you think heavy backstories at the start of the novel will help you do that.

There are books I’ve reviewed with this problem (and I have made this very same problem myself). For example, a book I reviewed; it started with the utmost depressing life of the MC in an orphanage who suffered from an abusive family before turning orphan or turning unparented (I can’t remember what happened). So, after two or three chapters, the main story finally started . . .

The blurb was about a girl moving into a family with a disabled son. I think it was supposed to be romance or so. And just as I was excited to read about the *wiggles eyebrows* escapades of a girl living with a maybe grumpy guy when I was slapped with a depressing start.

😕

Grammar and other writing errors aside, after her bAcKsToRy, the book went about her daily routine in the orphanage . . . let me pause here. It might seem that I will officially hate any book that starts in an orphanage (cause every book I’ve come across on wattpad with this very same premise has been horrible and very boring to read.)

Okay, back to the book.

Once again, if I wasn’t reviewing, I would have definitely skipped or dropped the book altogether but I finally reached my STARTING destination.

The only problem is it wasn’t even the real start.

It was the disabled son in his father’s mansion giving another gloomy backstory of his own.

At that point, I had to put the book down.

No, I picked it back up and skipped a few paragraphs to see the girl entering the mansion (at this point I’m not sure if it even happened before but it was in a paragraph or two before the depressing boy’s backstory)

Then I put the book down.

Se fini.

I just had to ask the writer why couldn’t she have started the story from where THE GIRL MET THE BOY?! OR WHEN SHE APPROACHED THE GATES?!

When I reviewed that book, I only got romantic vibes from the blurb and not from the story itself; or at least where I read to.

Okay, let’s get back on track.

I felt zero emotion for the character. I barely even knew her and yet I was being dipped into her life sauce. What if she later has a trait that disgusts me and I’m left being sorry for such a despicable being. Why can’t you just let me know her first before wooing me with a backstory that actually solidifies the plot and creates a barrier for why she cannot get together with the male protagonist?

I am sure you all understand what I mean. Nothing surprises or hits you with an unexpected past about a character you love/like/despise.

PLOT DUMPING

A writer gave a comment about info dumping crucial information that is important to the plot. The answer is easy to say but a bit hard to implement.

Just introduce the information before it become relevant.

OR (better yet)

Introduce tiny hints that lead up to the big thing.

When I say "tiny hints" (I might end up insulting some readers over this), I also mean the parts where readers question “what does this have to do with the story?”

I am certain a lot of you are familiar with this.

I do agree a lot of writer include unnecessary information or details, but there are times writers actually put these things on purpose (unfortunately, we can’t really tell, but you can sometimes tell when there is unnecessary information)

For example, in my high fantasy work, Calcifer. I wrote a scene where a character performed an “odd” action in front of the MC. To anyone reading, a keen person would question why that was included instead of just moving on with the story.

You get my drift?

So, if you have crucial information to the plot, introduce it in trickles and not all at once. It WILL confuse your reader and I don’t want to say how exhausting it is for your reviewer to read a paragraph multiple times just so they don’t sound like a dummy when dishing out the bad news.

I don’t want to start a novel and end up feeling confused by the third line.

BTW, confusion is different from intrigue or suspicion or mystery.

So, just start a story with something!

If your inciting incident is too abrupt, include a TINY scene or intro into the character’s normal life THAT ISN’T BORING WITH UNNECESSARY DETAILS.

To make this easier to understand . . . I’m not sure giving an example of my first chapter is a spoiler but here goes . . . I’m not perfect and I had serious help with that first chapter and uncountable editing for it to come out clean. So I’m guilt-free using it as an example.

Actually, to rephrase the above, you should start shortly before the inciting incident, or the actions that led to the inciting incident.

That way, you won’t give your readers a boring story.

I started my first chapter with the MC working in a coffee shop where she was harassed by customers (pay attention) in relation to an inferiority complex of hers. That inferiority complex is where I give the reader one information about my character (without having to go into a stupid monologue of how she suffered because of that growing up). I also give more information on how the MC reacts to the harassment by the customers.

Then, a few paragraphs later we know something about her family (without me having to tell you or the MC having to tell another character about herself) and along with that, the inciting incident is introduced.

Continuing with my inciting incident. It starts with a suspicious figure entering the café and we are brought to light that that person has been stalking her for a . . . disturbing period of time. Then chaos ensues in further chapters.

This isn’t a format or anything like that you should follow but I am giving an example. I especially used this because I am still a budding writer and I am not skilled enough to make the actions that led to the inciting incident enticing enough.

This was escapism. Don’t blame me.

Like most advice, I would actually suggest taking that “start your story at the inciting incident” simply a suggestion.

I mean, take what your reviewer gives you as a suggestion (remember I said you need to have some knowledge too when it comes to these things so you will know what to do. This is your novel.)

It can vary depending on the type of story you are writing. I am saying this from experience.

There is nothing wrong with giving your readers a glimpse of your character’s normal life; remember, I said “normal life” and not “day to day life” or “life story.”

My first critique partner told me my story did well starting at a certain point (the prologue you are seeing) cause I wrote five chapters of the character’s day to day life and history; along with a back story and all that—oh lord.

Yes, she was right. Very right, and I kind of followed every single thing she said to the T. She didn’t read much after that (maybe two or three chapters more) but I noticed something after a year.

When I started the story DIRECTLY from the inciting incident, my sister complained.

Then, my friend complained.

Then another writer complained.

Then I saw what was going wrong.

Not every story HAS to start from the inciting incident. There are other alternatives.

1. A brief look into the character’s life.

2. The actions leading to the inciting incident.

3. A summary of the character’s life from their first breath (this actually works for a genre or two and IF handled skilfully.)

4. I am sure there are others I don’t know of.

I’m not going to list the problems I had cause I would be giving direct spoilers so I’ll stop here. Let’s just say I gave the story a jerky start and it was weird reading about an action being unleashed upon the MC who we knew absolutely nothing about.

When someone was helping me go through it, she didn’t even know she was reading about a girl until the next chapter.

So, keep that in mind.

Wow, this chapter was long. I am sorry about that.