'God-forsaken is beautiful, too.'

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2006, Brooklyn

Daniel didn't have the decency to abandon Ethan in the dead of night like any other self-respecting absentee parent. Nor did he leave while going out for cigarettes or milk. He left at midday on a random day in August after yelling at Ethan's mom, with a duffel bag full of unfolded clothes and random crap, the neck of a single solitary tequila bottle peeking out from the mess.

He didn't look at Ethan when he left, not even bothering to throw him a parting look of disgust. Ethan wordlessly tried to grab Daniel's wrist, confused why the only father he's ever known could leave him behind.

His mother dragged him back, screaming a mix of obscenities and please at Daniel as he hurried out before turning her incandescent rage to Ethan.

"See what you've done!" She grabbed his shoulder, blood-red nails digging into his skin as she pulled him closer, forcing the scent of cat pee and alcohol in his face.

Ethan tried to pull away, but her grip just tightened until it barely knicked his skin, drawing inky black blood which burned her where it spilled. She wrenched her hand back, still scraping his shoulder as she did, which drew even more blood and shrieked. "You- you... Get out! Out."

Ethan ran, of course; What else could he do?

...

Ethan has, unfortunately, become very good at hiding from his problems. Being invisible helped, but it was easy enough to disappear into New Yorks' crowds even without magical help. So much so that, before he could process that he was running, he had already left Ashley far, far behind.

After a few minutes, Ethan stopped, walked into an alley, and dropped his invisibility after a moment of clarity.

"Coward," Ethan muttered softly under his breath as he leaned against the grimy alley wall and slid down to the floor, ignoring the dirt, cigarette butts, and mystery stains. "Fucking coward."

Over the past few years, Ethan had managed to delude himself into thinking he was helping people. He didn't destroy bad memories; he made them fade, ate at them till they were just the faintest niggling memory at the back of the mind. He thought he was helping in his way, though he was clearing the path to move past that trauma. Sure, it wasn't 100% altruistic, what actions even are, but he needed to eat.

But he didn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to hurt Ashely.

He wasn't cut out for all this magic crap. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be a way to opt out.

His phone started ringing, pulling him out of his self-loathing. At first, he ignored it, but the phone continued ringing. Annoyed, he picked up the phone, thumb hovering over the screen.

❌Do NOT pick up!❌

Mom.

Ethan didn't pick up, now wasn't the time to bring even more chaos into his life. Ignoring her didn't stop the calls, but eventually, she gave up and just started texting.

Pookiee.. Howre you?

When was the last time we soke?

I luv uou

Wht aren't you clling m?

eeeeTHAN

Why are you ignoring me?

Call me!

asDDFGHjkl;;'ss

Classic.

Ignoring the desire to throw his phone against the opposite wall, he pulled himself up from the ground. Ashley was long gone, which was disappointing and relieving.

As he left the alley, hands tracing the cracked wall, his stomach twisted in knots, and canines ached under his gums, ready to sink into someone.

I'm fucking starving.

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