For the millionth time, I regretted not having a driver's license. 

After Ace had left, I bid goodbye to a distraught Misses Wilde and quietly went back to my home. I sat in my room that night, researching about the condition. My heart sank further and further with each web page that came up. It was genetic, something he had inherited. 

From what I could learn, it was pretty common. It would progressively result in central vision loss, sensitivity to light, which might explain his frequent bouts of headache and colour blindness. 

I skipped dinner that night and lay quietly in my bed. I kept thinking about Ace, the silent, tough war he was battling every day. How had he never told me? How had he never even expressed? 

And the worst, most agonizing thought of them all encased me in a suffocating shroud of despair and sorrow so great, I wasn't sure I could even feel it. There was nothing I could do for him. Simply watch as he withers away.

Maybe there was the long-suppressed optimistic part of me that hoped something could happen. There were ways to manage his condition, reduce the onslaught. And who knew what new technology they might come up with in the next few years? From what I had found out so far, intensive research was already going into it. Perhaps I was thinking too much, but I needed the hope. What did I have without it? 

I stared at the shadows masquerading against my bedroom wall, darker than I remembered.

What if he was lost? What if his eyesight was fucked so bad that he got into an accident and couldn't reach for help?

I shut my eyes and gulped, my chest heaving with sudden breathlessness. Why was this affecting me so much? 

I sighed and sat straight in my bed. There was no way I could just blissfully go to sleep when he was so alone out there. I called him, not really expecting him to answer and therefore receiving a shock when he did. 

"Ace," I spoke breathlessly, "Wh-where are you?"

"The Drive," he answered shortly. 

"Okay. Stay there. I'm...I'm coming." I realized he had already hung up and sighed. How was I going to go see him anyway? I couldn't drive and it was pretty late. But I had no choice. I would take a cab and find him. 

I made my way downstairs and quietly made my way to the front door. It was almost ten and I wasn't sure my mom would approve of me leaving home so late, but I had no choice. The thought of a scared and alone Ace was way worse than anything I would ever have to face at home. 

I called a cab and sat quietly, my heart hammering. I hoped he would be where he told me that he was. Although, the Drive was almost a kilometre long promenade and I had no way to know where he really would be. On the right side, the town of Haywood extended into a shroud of scattered lights. On the left, I could hear the sounds of the serene ocean. I wondered if a high tide was scheduled today. 

A waist-level cement barrier separated the elevated road from the ocean. A cobbled path led from the road and lower into the ocean where it disappeared. Ace and I would often sit on the rocks smoothed by the rough water, trying to see who could make the pebble jump more than three times. That was back when we were children, and our biggest problem was getting home before five in order to watch the latest episode of Pokemon together. 

I asked the driver to drive along the dark road and kept my eyes peeled on the left, towards where the ocean was visible. After a while, almost towards what I expected was the middle of the Drive, I saw a black car that I recognized instantly. I thanked the cab driver and paid him. The road was quiet, deserted and cold. It wasn't a place I would usually wander around alone, but I had no time to be wary. 

My heart skipped a beat when I saw a silhouetted figure sitting near the edge of the path, right where the ocean began. I jumped onto the thick barricade, on the other side of which the ocean went on in its timeless uncertainty. I skipped onto the cobbled path and made my way deeper towards the edge of the ocean. As I came closer, his obscured form slowly came into focus and I went and quietly sat beside him. 

He sighed and reached into his pocket. I remained quiet as he lit up a cigarette and blew the smoke away from me, his eyes distant. "I was about to tell you, you know."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to find out this way," I said, my voice somehow hoarse.

He remained quiet, taking another drag. I bit my tongue to keep from chiding him merely out of habit. With his condition, things like smoking and drinking would only aggravate his vision loss, but I didn't want to preach to him. Not now that I knew why he really smoked. 

"I c-can pretend that I don't know," I said softly, not daring to look at him. "I don't...think of you as any different you know. Also...you sh-shouldn't smoke."

He tapped the end of the cigarette a few times and I gazed silently at the tiny orange embers floating away into nothingness. It was strangely calm. With the vast ocean in front of us, silent and infinite, the night sky now littered with shimmering stars and the sound of the town faded far behind us. 

"We already talked about this," he said softly. "You know why I do."

I bit my lip, my heart breaking. Before I quite knew what I was doing, I reached for his hand and snatched the lit cigarette away from between his fingers. "It's the smell. You told me that's why you do it, right? Okay then. How about you stop smoking and I'll do it for you. And you're around me most of the times so...it'll still remind you of him."

His eyes widened as, without thinking, I placed the cigarette into my mouth. Perhaps it was simply my trembling fingers or numb skin, but I inhaled way too much. A sharp string seemed to reach my lungs, the pungent smell reaching my very brains as my throat closed up painfully and I started coughing. 

I saw white spots and wondered if due to some reason my reaction to it was more exaggerated than usual. Was it normal?

"Milo-" he spoke again, his voice strained before I took another drag. This time was a little better and I inhaled only a little of the smoke, managing to exude it painfully through my mouth before I started coughing again. 

"God damn, stop it," he said, snatching the lit cigarette away from my lax fingers and throwing it on the ground. I watched it roll away and disappear between the crannies of the rocks. "Don't fucking do it, okay? Not...not you."

I could barely make out his voice through my violent coughs. My eyes started watering and I almost laughed at how moronic I would seem to him. "Wh- what? I-"

"You're too fucking sweet and pure and literally everything good in this world. Stop trying to corrupt yourself like this. Do you even realize how precious it is what you have? Can you stop trying to throw it away?"

I managed to stop coughing and look at him, wiping my tears desperately away. I was no longer aware if the tears sourced from the smoke or from my broken heart. "What?"

"I'll stop. Okay? But you don't need to do this. Not for me. Not for anyone," he said softly. 

I didn't say anything, trying to keep my lunch down as the pungent smell ensnared each of my senses. "This is...really strong."

"Yes. It's nicotine," he smirked.

"Yes. It's strong."

"Wonder what you'll say about crack."

"You've...done that." My heart sunk.

"No," he sighed. "I'm not that far gone yet."

I heaved a tiny sigh of relief, taking deep shuddering breaths and slowly trying to accustom to the filthy smell. 

"Did Celia say anything?" he asked after a while. His voice was so low that I could barely hear it over the raging waves now lapping almost at our feet. 

"No. She was scared though." I hated the way she had seemed terrified of Ace. "It...it wasn't her fault. I asked her about you because of how you were acting and I-I guess she thought I'd already know."

He sighed and raked a hand through his hair and reached for his phone. I watched as he opened his notes and showed me the screen. I saw a replica of the list I had seen in his room the other day. And it made sense to me. 

'To see.' 

"Oh."

I took the phone and stared at the screen, my chest bursting with overwhelming emotions. "You...really wanna see the northern lights?" 

I could barely choke the words out. My own emotions and the raging adrenaline from the nicotine was making it hard for me to think rationally. I was disoriented. 

"Mhm." He nodded. "It's just so magical. Like...the entire sky-" he sighed and leaned backwards, turning his face up towards the raven night, darker than any other I remembered. 

"It's magnetism," I said. "Earth's magnetic waves create that."

He squinted his eyes and for a wild moment, I wondered if he was having difficulty again. I wasn't really sure if his vision now was deteriorating or still stable enough. And I was terrified to ask. 

In an attempt to fill the void of silence, I rambled on. "They actually occur when highly charged electrons from the solar wind interact with elements in the earth's atmosphere. Solar winds stream away from the sun at speeds of about a million-"

"Shh," he said. I shut up at once. His hand clasped mine where it was planted on the ground and he sighed. "I'm still hopeful. Is it stupid to hope so much?"

"No," I replied promptly. 

He smiled. When he spoke his voice was low. "You seem really confident."

"Yes," I nodded. 

He laughed, an actual, open laugh. He couldn't mask the agony behind, but hope had to win out some day. 

"I love you, Miles."

The air rushed out of my lungs at his words. My chest seemed to contract impossibly and then expand almost in an instant, leaving me breathless and dizzy.

"Okay," I replied. 

He chuckled. "What?"

"What?" I said, my face burning as I leaned away from him. 

He laughed and reached for my arm again, grabbing it and pulling himself closer. "What, what?"

I chewed on my bottom lip so hard I was afraid I would taste blood. I didn't look at him, my ears burning like a furnace as he laughed some more, highly amused by my reaction. "You didn't know that?"

"Ace...st-stop it," I stuttered like a fool, my tongue suddenly way too big for my mouth. 

I didn't know how he was so nonchalant about it. Of course, he was saying that because I was his best friend. But the way my heart had reacted told me that it was too late not to fall for him. 

He fell silent after a while. We sat still in the comforting silence, my broken heart suddenly mended. I watched the stars above reflecting on the vast ocean in front of us. The breeze was gentle, caressing my skin almost lovingly. Much like Ace's hand still holding mine.  

"Thanks for finding me, Miles," he whispered, moving closer to me. I sat still as he leaned against my shoulder and sighed. 

And in between the expansive sea in front of us, the infinite, uncertain sky above us, the dark future that I knew was looming, I uttered the only words I was sure of. 

"I will, Ace. Always." 

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Here's the double update! Hope I made up a little <3 

The cigarette scene that I wrote here is possibly one of my favourite ones I've ever written. Because I've personally felt that even the most coward and timid people, can become fierce when it comes to protecting people they love. Even if that means doing messed up shit which isn't always justified, but understandable still. 

Thanks again!