Day 30

Electric music plays in a volume I feel it reverberating in my skull. They have decorated the patio with light bulbs, hanging the strings to every tree and any object that can support its weight, leaving no dark areas.

Adrien, Jacob, Calvin, and Dylan are standing on the other end of the pool, near the entrance door, each exhaling a cloud of grey smoke.

Tina, Sophia, and Rebecca are deep conversing. Amanda and Olivia are what Arianna calls 'specific man-hunting', in this case, the man being Jeffry.

She returns to my side with a grin.

To my utmost surprise, her behavior towards me had not changed the slightest, considering she somewhat knew what had happened. Seeing that, previous night I had risked asking her about what Will had said nights ago. And she only shrugged, claiming everything we do has self-serving purposes -which I do quite agree with. But also added that I am the first official girl in their team of three and she's glad to have me. But nevertheless, she still wants to stick to the friendship because it makes her happy.

I believed her.

For once, I choose to allow myself to not consider every aspect and just accept her words.

She stands next to me, holding two cups in her hand.

"Hear me out, okay?" she starts, and I look away from Sophia who was glaring at me.

With a nod of my head she continues, "I've brought you a drink, it's a very light wine, I found it in their refrigerator, for you,"

I interject, "I don't drink,"

She rolls her eyes, "Weren't you last night saying you want to try everything that is out there to experience?" she looks at me quizzically. Her purple eye shadows on full display as she arches her eyebrows.

"I did, but-" I attempt to reason but she shakes her head.

"Listen, one sip, you'll not even get drunk, it'll loosen you up a tad. And I'm here, so are Adi and Dylan. We won't let you lose control or whatever. Not that I would mind if you throw a good fistfight with Soph," she shrugs, glancing at Sophia.

I giggle, and she turns back to me, her blue eyes shining. "But you need to know what alcohol tastes like, in the ripe age of twenty-one," she says in the most serious tone that she can muster, which is anything but. I beam at her, shaking my head.

"Oh come on! Just one sip, it won't hurt, I'm drinking too. Plus don't worry, if Adrien sees you're drinking he'll stay sober the entire night. Nothing will happen, trust me, he is basically a twenty-two-year-old grandpa," she adds and hands me the cup.

The situation regarding Adrien and I is; well, we haven't exactly spoken to each other after the whole, let's say drunk talk. We weren't avoiding each other, okay maybe he was, but I wasn't. We shared the bare minimum words in the past four days.

I can't tell what's going on inside his mind, and it's nerve-wracking, but now is not the time to fuss over it.

I stare at the wine, lifting the cup to my lips with hesitance, I glimpse at Arianna's encouraging beam, and I tilt it. The sweetness of the smooth liquid overwhelms my senses, as if I'm drinking a bunch of squished fruits along with the slightest burning sensation.

I furrow my brows; I was not expecting that.

"There you go! Finally taking advantage of being an adult," Arianna half squeals and burst into fits of giggle.

"Shouldn't alcohol taste..." my voice trails down as I attempt to come up with the right word.

"Like shit? Yeah, some of them," she shrugs. Then goes on, "This my friend," she brings up her cup and continues, "is hard liquor. If Adi wasn't around, I might have considered making you try it. But I'm not planning to die young, so I went with the alternative,"

"What does it have to do with Adrien?" I ask before drawing another small sip.

"Ignore him, he worries too much," she waves her hand dismissively.

"Life is worrisome," I quote John Green.

"I'd drink to that," she raises her booze and we clink our glasses and imbibe.

A comfortable silence falls between us. As minutes pass by, I follow her gaze, fixed on Dylan and Amanda who are standing together. She's giggling at something he has said.

Arianna notices and whispers, "They've been fuck buddies since they found out what sex is,"

My mouth forms an O. Not knowing what to say to that, I nod.

She looks at me, a smile breaking out on her face, "They're like no strings attached," she adds, observing me.

"But how's that possible?" I wonder.

No matter the control over your emotions, after sharing so many intimate moments, isn't it impossible to not grow feelings for the other one?

"Their personalities don't match. They tried dating, but didn't work out, so they stayed 'friends with benefits'," she air quotes the last part and takes a sip from her drink. And adds, "You know, to scratch the itch," I scrunch up my face and she giggles, "what?"

I shrug, "It can't be literal,"

Her eyebrows shoot up as she stares at me, "It is! Just like when you see a hot guy and think, damn, I wanna touch him and sleep with him," she explains, a smile playing on her lips.

"I don't think that's a thing either. I mean... it's probably something writers have invented just to take forth a romantic story," I reason.

Actually, sex is overrated, but mostly disagree for unknown reasons. I still cannot understand what's the big deal about it.

"Okay," she nods, trying to hold back a grin. "Yeah, that could be too," she keeps nodding and takes another sip from her drink.

She doesn't get the chance to continue, nor can I ask what she meant by that as Jeffry approaches us with a smug smile.

"What are you two up to? Seems you're the only ones who are having fun," his gaze travels from my head to toe, making me shift uncomfortably. I look down at the wine, wishing I would somehow disappear from his sight.

"Chatting, like everyone else," Arianna replies with a straight face, emphasizing on everyone.

He squares his shoulders and opens his mouth to speak. Before a word tumbles out, Rebecca's loud voice puts an end to the chatters and calls everyone's attention to herself.

"Who's up for some real music?" she asks, beaming.

I furrow my brows, real music? Since when did we have fake music?

Rebecca points her glass in Adrien's direction. His expression shifts into cold indifference as he stares at her. "When did you last played and sang for us? I miss it, I'm sure everybody does too. How about the band gets together like old times," she pauses. And looks at Arianna, and continues, "and Ri can record it if she wants, for her YouTube channel, what do you say?"

Adrien shakes his head, "No, the old things should stay in the past,"

"Ah, c'mon man. We have guitars and everything." Calvin persuades.

"It'll be fun Adi," Tina drawls, and Olivia chimes in.

"Who knows when we'll meet again, don't be a bummer," Amanda whines and then turns to Dylan, "I'm sure you wouldn't mind playing either,"

"Not at all. Come on, let's do it like the old times," Dylan says and walks towards the glass door.

Will accompanies him. A sigh of defeat escapes from Adrien, he gives in and follows them into the house.

Arianna locks her arm with mine and drags me inside along with her.

Soon everyone is settled in the living room, sitting in a half circle, some on the sofas and others on the ground. While Adrien, Dylan, Will, and Calvin busy with connecting the cords and tuning their guitars. And I stay in the far corner.

Twenty minutes later, my cup goes empty and I place it on a nearby table. I return to my spot, not knowing what to do with my hands. As a distraction, I let my thoughts wander and I realize I've forgotten a lot about Adrien, including him being part of a band. It might have something to do with the fact that I never used to show up in his practices, or performances in high school. Except for once, Jace dragged me to their practice, but we sat in the last row and spoke most of the time.

Olivia is adjusting the lights, constantly dimming and brightening it. How many times she'll repeat this process until she settles with one!

Arianna walks into the living room, with her camera, recording, and waves at me with a bright smile, I wave back. She approaches me and zooms on Adrien. His head bent low, complete attention diverted to the turning keys of his acoustic guitar.

Sophia enters with the mic stand in one hand and the mic itself in the other. She places them in front of Adrien and then bends down, making sure her ass is up towards his face. As if her knees have lost the ability of bending, while she fumbles with plugs.

I look elsewhere, biting my lip to hide my growing smile. Never did I expect to see such comical situations around them. Weren't these things for movies?

I wonder what led her to think I'll come between her and Adrien.

Maybe she needs someone to blame if he decides not to get back with her.

Fifteen minutes later, everything's fixed and tuned. Jeffry makes space for me on the couch, forcing me to walk away from the comfortable dark corner I had stood in.

I sit next to him, my mouth goes dry and my palms become clammy. I hate being so close to people I barely know. I resist the urge to wipe my hands on my thighs.

Wasn't wine supposed to make you relaxed?

Sophia, Rebecca, and Olivia are sitting together on a loveseat. After gathering her hair on side of her shoulder, Sophia shoots a glare at me, Olivia and Rebecca follow suit and I feel like I'm thrown back to school. My heart pounds in my chest, I gaze at the floor and push my glasses up my nose, my fingers fiddle of their own accord. I try my best to keep my leg bouncing the least.

I focus on my breathing, the last thing I need is for Jeffry to notice it.

Adrien taps on the mic and Arianna stands between the sofa I'm sitting on and the one Sophia is on. A small relief washes through me.

I glance at Sophia, who is holding a half-empty glass of white wine, I guess. But Rebecca and Olivia's glasses are filled to the brim.

I hope they're not planning on repeating high school incidents as a parting gift.

I rub my forehead and cross my legs, pushing myself deeper into the angle between the back and armrest of the sofa. And shove my clasped hands between my pressed lower tights.

Adrien's eyes travel from my face to my seating posture, and then moves to the little space between me and Jeffry, lingering on it for a second too long. He blinks a few times, drawing his stare away, and announces, "It works," then glances at Dylan on his left.

"Sing something you used to play a lot in high school," Amanda exclaims with excitement.

"That's the plan Amanda, we decided from the first moment that they're going to do exactly that," Arianna shoots at her in the harshest tone I've ever seen her use.

Unable to stop myself, I gape at her. Adrien shakes his head, and I catch Olivia's lips curving into a smirk.

Calvin taps his foot according to the song's tempo. Dylan counts down from three and as he reaches 'one', the three of them play their guitars simultaneously. As Adrien sings the lyrics to the Counting stars of OneRepublic.

His fingers slide across the fretboard with ease as the other strums the strings.

He looks nonchalant, like he's been born for this. His voice is an awful load similar to my favorite singer who unfortunately hung himself when I was in high school, thanks to depression. I wonder if Adrien knows he sounds somewhat between Chester Bennington and Ed Sheeran. I don't even know how's that possible.

They chant the verse together, everyone else joins them, including Jeffry. I sink further into the sofa, staring at the wooden floor.

The song goes on and as he sings, "Old but I'm not that old," everybody claps in rhythm. Arianna moves around to get the best angles for her video.

James stands up, pulling Tina with himself. Setting the lead, the rest follow him, and sing along with Adrien, "Lately I been, I been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be. Baby I been, I been prayin' hard. Said no more counting dollars. We'll be counting stars,"

Jeffry pulls me to my feet to my dismay. With a quick glance, I notice Sophia, Rebecca and Olivia's constant glowers directed at me.

With small steps, I distance myself from the crowd. Everyone's busy, no one will realize if I leave.

It's not like I'm part of this or belong to this group.

I push my glasses up my nose. They keep singing, Adrien's voice overpowering to theirs, due to the mic.

If I stay longer, Sophia or the girls might make a move and I don't want history renewing itself.

I look up, catching Sophia glaring at me.

The song ends and everyone applauds. Dylan and Calvin bow playfully.

"One more!" Tina squeals and the other girls join her as they chant 'one more' over and over.

Adrien rubs the back of his neck, looking at Dylan. He shrugs in answer and a moment later suggests, "Riptide?"

Calvin and Adrien nod. The three of them tune their instruments.

Again, Calvin taps his foot, Dylan counts down and by one, they strum to Vance Joy's Riptide.

I take another step backward. Someone has dimmed the lights. It must've been Arianna, since she has put her camera aside and is joining them in the middle of the room.

In groups of two and four, they get divided and dance together.

I have no place between them. On the bright side, Sophia is busy dancing and putting her butt on display with absurd moves. For now, I have no space in her mind.

I retreat.

This is the main reason I avoid these kinds of gatherings. I'm an outcast in them. These sorts of situations act like a jab to my self-made bubble of ignorance, and pretense of everything being fine.

I turn and stride to the glass door. I slide it open and step outside.

The cool mid-June night air embraces me. More welcoming than the crowds such as the one present inside the house.

I make my way to the pool and sit a safe distance from its edge. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I rest my chin on my knee and stare at the water. With struggle, I keep my brain void of anything that might lead to a breakdown. That's the last thing I need.

The minutes stick together and tick away, while it gets harder for me to cling to the blankness and numbness. Eventually, I do what I'm good at, think about science and the world, overall. My head buzzes and it's an effort to line these thoughts. Which would only mean more concentration from my side, lessening the possibility of reflecting being a miserable outcast.

So I start by staring at the pool, trying to notice details. It amazes me how the molecules are situated, how the photons that form the light, move through the particles of water. How the light moves in both straight lines and in waves. The entire universe built on four forces, holding each other, with similar patterns across this world, and how everything can be found in anything.

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((Not much happened in this chapter, right? I know it too, because this is the first half of my initial chapter (yes the original form was over 5K, and even I don't post a chapter that long XD). Turns out I still can't manage the wc when it comes to chapters, so yeah sorry about that. 

But hey! I left some huge clues over here, I bet you've spotted them too XD

Anyway, thank you so much for reading *.* hope you enjoyed it <3 ))