𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟕 - 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭?

"You wished to spar me?"

For a moment of thinking, I cast a look back at the small boy, Jude. If he can do it, then why not I? May this be the time I start fighting to be better. May this be the moment I fight to turn from a caterpillar into a butterfly and flaps my wings and fly on my own.

With such thoughts filling my mind, I nodded my head. "Yes," I told him. Short and on point.

The man nodded, and a flicker of amusement once again graced his face. He took a wooden sword and gripped it tightly around his hand, "Be warned, miss. I will not hesitate to strike you, for a threat would not show mercy on you on a battlefield."

He walked towards an empty side of the field and fixed his stance; his sword lunged forwards, his eyes filled with much fiery anticipation that I could almost feel my determination shredding at the thought of not doing well enough.

I stood in front of him and did my best impression of his stance and gave him a nod. Without wasting much time, he swiftly lunges forward, trying to poke me with his wooden sword and we both dashed and clashed the blades with a clank at every hit we made. I tried to hit him, but he dodges every attack I made. He made a quick poke on my stomach and hit the back of my calf, making me kneel in response. Then he hit my shoulder and placed his sword on the back of my neck. "You have a slow impulse, little one."

"You can't expect me to be great when you know I was practically nothing but a damsel in distress," I said, huffing as I throw the sword lightly aside on the ground. For goodness sake, that must have been a record for the shortest-time defeat.

Aeron lifted his sword from me and took a few steps back, "When one wishes to be stronger, there's nothing stopping them but themselves, So if you want, I can make sure your impulse and strength grow with time."

I turned to face him, shoulder slugging with uncertainty and defeat, "If that is even possible," I muttered lightly.

"Anything is possible," he pushed, his eyebrows knitted together as if hating my lack of determination. "Don't you think so?"

"Anything is possible with effort and dedication."

"Exactly," he grinned. "Do you wish to train under me?"

Scoffing lightly, I rest my palms on the ground, leaning my weight onto my arms, "Do you not see how badly I just fought? Only a miracle can teach that to defend herself."

"I saw. I have eyes, little miss. Though, let me tell you a secret. Just for the ears of you and me," he said, leaning forward and whispering into my ears, "I was worse than you once ago. Weak and look down upon. But look how I turned out."

I raised an eyebrow, leaning back as I turned to gaze upon him, "You have a bigger ego level?"

"What?" he laughed, "Yes. But that was not it."

"I know, I know." I laughed, rolling my eyes. "You are a big boy, brave and strong and capable and great," I said, with as much sincerity as I can mutter under the level of sarcasm I'm holding back.

He laughed lightly, the sound resonating into my ears; cheerful, dashing and drizzling with the sun's lemon drop. As I turned to look at him, his laughs quieted down but a smile remained on his lips. He put his hand in front of me for me to take and I took it.

Standing back on my two feet and my small hand is held by the big man. His big palm enveloped my small ones, darker tan skin above a paler one. I cough a dry cough and pulled my hand away, dusting the dirt off my gown. "I can stand just fine."

"Oh." He cleared his throat and scratches his head. "Let's try aiming with a bow and arrow next," he said as he pulled my arm and walked along till we reached the aiming ground.

"Luther, give me a bow and case of arrows," he ordered.

A man with a big build and short hair came forth with a bow and arrow and gave it to Aeron. He glance at the two of us for a whole two seconds before he turned back to Aeron, "Are you making her shoot these?"

"Yes," Aeron answered, taking the items from Luther and passing them into my hands. He smiled as he look into my eyes. "Why not?"

"I don't know why you're wasting your time with the lady. But not everyone can fight, Aeron. I just don't think she can do it."

He lets the lad's speech sink into his mind and as he digested it, he shrugged, "We may never know unless we let her try, Luther," he said. "You should know better than anyone that anyone who is willing, can fight."

When Luther gave him no more response, Aeron turned again to me and gave me a nod as he moves to give me a bit of space. I let my eyes run on the items given to me. The bow had a logo encrypted on it, some sort of a "V" marking. I slung the case onto my shoulder, pulling one arrow off of it as I awkwardly tried to aim at the target.

I tried and I tried, but I couldn't even shoot the arrow. The moment I tried shooting it at the target, it moves away from where I placed it. This is harder than I anticipated but I didn't want to give up. I had to shoot at least once.

I tried again, finally able to keep the stick in place as I pull the string as far as it reach the side of my cheek. Then I shoot.

It wasn't even close to the target. It was in fact landing straight on the ground. A few heads turned to watch me and I swear I could see a few holding back their laughter.

I gaze at the arrow which were stuck on the ground before grunting in dismay as I turned to Aeron, "I can't do this," I told him.

And immediately, Luther raised his eyebrow and put on an "I-Told-You-So" face which was ignored by Aeron who seem slightly disappointed but wasn't fazed by it even in the slightest. "Shame. That's alright. Just another thing you can learn."

"I'm sorry. I really don't know what you expect of me, sir knight, but I'm just not it," I placed the bow and arrow down. I was determined. I was. But how am I supposed to do it when I don't even know how to do it, to begin with?

I sighed as I looked at Aeron. A crease appeared between his eyebrows as he stares back at me. He ran a hand through his brunette hair, pulling it backwards, missing a few strands that remained at the front of his face. "You can observe the others and do what you want, for now, little miss." Then he turned and discuss something with Luther. I stood there, still. Not really knowing where to go. Not really knowing what to do. Then I heard him talking about going witch-hunting in the woods this Saturday with his army.

This Saturday. Should I warn Odell about this? It wouldn't be safe for her and her kind in there that day. It would only be the right thing to do after she had made sure to bring Pierre back to me safely from the hag when she could've just ignored my request. I would've told her. And I will, but do I even know how to call her? And I'm not sure why but it feels as if I also have plans on that particular day. Though, I couldn't remember what it was.

It's something that's rather stuck, like a piece of gum stuck in the gear in my brain making it lose its function, unable to turn and work to its absolute perfection. Though, it could be something insignificant but feels important at the same time. It could be one of those. A playdate, a meeting, a job volunteer, a quest I set for myself, or... oh.

I had promised Clifford to accompany him to the market this Saturday. Yes. That was it. That was the stuck gum in my brain.

Noting that there won't be further intel I could earn from standing at my spot, I chose to explore the house. Greysen's house. I'm sure he or Aeron wouldn't mind it. I don't know for sure, but I'm sure, as long as I don't touch or break anything, all is well.

I walked through the crowd of training men, trying my best to not bump into any of them. After a long hard work of push and pull to avoid the men, I reached the far end of the field and climbed back up on the porch, wasting no time and walked straight back into the kitchen door. Upon closing the door, the sound of shouts and cries and grunting from the men soon died down and exist only as mere inaudible sounds.

I wasn't taking my time, or letting my eyes run around the area when I first got here, but since no one seem to mind it and no one seem to notice it, exploring doesn't sound so bad. It's not every day you get a free day with no need to feel conflicted, or anguish feelings towards a man just because you went out to roam a place, while constantly fearing that you'd bump into him.

I let my hand softly trail against the counter; floury powder of white mess spilt on it resembling white as pure as the colour of the snow. I shook my head in disapproval at the untidied mess and went to find the kitchen cloth.

When I was done cleaning the kitchen, I wipe the sweat trickling down my forehead. Letting my eyes run around the area, I found it satisfyingly neat now.

Goodness, what have I become? Could it be Adeline actually cares about a mess and would spend her time cleaning the place just to please her eyes? I did not remember that trait of mine ever existing before this.

I've grown accustomed to my new way of living. It's surely not a bad thing. My mother would certainly be proud of the new me and would be grinning from corner to corner at my new behaviour. She would probably rush me off to get married to give her grandbabies. That would be exactly what my mother would do.

I chuckled at the thought of her. As ridiculous as she sounds, I wished I could see her right now. There's honestly no one other than her that I think about daily when it comes to people from my timeline and period. It's no surprise. After all, she's my mother. She's the only family I have left.

Placing the cloth on the table, I wipe my flour-stained hands on my apron, dusting it till my apron were stained white. Nodding satisfied with the clean room, I finally walk out of the kitchen. I let my feet drag themselves down the long hallway. The hem of my gown shuffled softly on the shiny and smooth surface. My feet tap lightly, making some or none at all footsteps sounds down the long hall. There's a high-arched window every few steps down the hall. Some sort of snowflake kind of design or logo was the constant decoration on the ceiling. The floor was the same checkered floor as the one in the front. A forest green door was seen at the far end of the hall. Lone by itself. I wonder what's behind the door. Do I even want to find out?

Aside from the knights or Greysen, there's no one here. I have yet seen any servant or any sort of worker in the house. How very weird. I was certain they'd be bound to have workers around when the house is this big. If not many, at least just those that they trusted, for it seems this whole place works as a secret training ground for the knights. But not even one servant was seen anywhere in the house.

The door at the far end was slightly left ajar. I pulled it lightly, peeking headfirst into the room to find Greysen staring aimlessly at a big portrait of a lady on the wall. His expression was almost longing, like a lovesick man missing his other half with no ability to reach them. That must be Lady Chrissy, the woman who Jo said deserved better.

Greysen looked so broken that it almost reminded me of Nicholas. Nicholas who dreamt of a life with his old lover, Feiya. Nicholas who is still mourning and deeply in love with the dead woman. They share the same pain for the woman that they each love. I wonder if that same pain was the drive that pushes Greysen to help Nicholas in finding me. It could be. Love made you do things that you wouldn't exactly want to do by free will.

"She's beautiful," I said, making my presence known as I entered the room.

Greysen's shoulder jerked lightly at my sudden approach. He knows I'm here, but he made no effort to turn and look at me. "What are you doing here?" He spat irritatingly.

"I'm looking around and found my way here."

"Of course."

"Who's the girl?"

He didn't say anything. He just stared at the portrait, once again lost in his own head. He sighed and turned his head away from it for the first time since I saw him in the room. "She was the prettiest girl I have ever known. We were going to get married. But then. Then she was cursed by a witch. Cursed to live a life full of pain and sorrows. Cursed to live a life of fear and sickness. I love her with all my heart but she– she couldn't withstand all the pressure and she—" he didn't finish his words. He didn't need to. From the way he was talking, I can guess she chose to run from it all the easy way. The way that hurts those that were left behind.

"It was my fault, you see. I was always busy rounding up all the witches and freaks around the town. Burning them or beheading them. And they— they took my flower from me as an act of revenge. I know how everyone said that I deserved it. That I didn't deserve her. And they were right. Had I not reached for her, she would've still been alive today."

I'm not the best at offering comfort. I mainly stare and listen. I don't know what it is that I had to say to make one's feel better. I do not think the empty promises of 'It'll be okay,' and 'Everything will be alright,' would be the right answer for it.

I stood at my spot, just staring at the broken man. Life has completely drained out of him. His eyes looked almost dead. Sighing as I leaned against the wall, "You can cry about it," I told him.

"What?"

"You can cry. It's not weak to cry when life turns shitty."

"You want me to— cry?"

"Why not? You loved her. You wanted to live your life with her. Then some old witch cursed her and made her go and turn her light off. You have the right to feel sad and angry."

"I am angry. I vowed to clear the land of witches and freaks. I vowed to make it a safe place for us to live. I vowed to not let what happened to my fiance happened to another soul. I'm not going to sit and cry about it. That wouldn't bring me anything and it will make me weak."

"It would bring you peace, Greysen," I tried again. "Does she even want this for you?"

His fist balled at the side. He turned, his teeth gritting. "You don't get to say that. You don't even know her. I can do what I want and your opinion wouldn't matter."

"Right. Of course, I know that."

"Good." he nodded, then turned away from me. "Now get out."

Some people just don't want to let you in their life. And that's okay. Greysen just happened to be one of those people. You can't do anything about it. When people don't want you, that means they don't want you. Choosing not to push it further, I walked out of that room, leaving him to brood and stare at the portrait once more.

A broken man.

That's something I keep seeing these past few days. I guess love is just not on anyone's side. This is why I did well on wanting to avoid love. It brings nothing but heartache in the end.

I made the right choice.

I did.

I walked and walked. I walked around the first floor, opening every door and peeking into each of the rooms. I walked upstairs and opened every door on the second floor, taking a peek at all of the existing rooms and I stopped. I stopped when I stumbled upon a library.

It was a grand library with books on every shelf. It was one of those indoor libraries that only rich people owned. Why was this here? — In a training ground of all places. I trailed my fingers softly on the shelf and walked into one of the isles, feeling the spines of the books in my fingertips. I've grown to love books during my stay in this time period. I can understand why people loved it. It's a way to escape reality as they said to me once upon a time ago.

I picked a book up. Eyeing it before shrugging as I sat on one of the provided chairs. It's interesting how I use to find books to be a waste of time for me but here I am, enjoying literature over everything else. The book choices don't vary much. There's not much to read as not many of us write books here. If Petunia was here, I could have taken her books collections. She probably won't even mind it.

I read from one book to another. The bright room soon turn dark, too dark that I couldn't read anymore. I placed the book in my hand down, blowing the strands of hair at the front of my face away irritatingly. My eyes danced in the pitch-black room, not quite landing on anything useful. I sighed and finally got off my seat.

I was about to walk out of the door when it was pushed open. A shocked Aeron faced me as I yelp in response. "I was looking for you!" he said out loud when he finally recovers.

I choke lightly before I scratch my head, grinning sheepishly. "Were you? I was just here the whole day."

"You spent the whole evening in here?"

"I think so–"

"Right. Okay. I don't think we have a spot for you to stay for the night, little miss. I suggest heading home now before it gets even darker."

Oh. Oh, shoot. I really do need to go back.

"I'll send you home."

Nodding, I turned to stare once again at the dark room. "D-do you have a candle or something?"

"You have something you want to take from here?"

"Nothing from the house. I just need to grab my leather pouch."

A rough sigh was heard from behind me. Then I heard a click and clack before a light shone in a lantern. The light was enough for me to find my bag and I quickly made a grab for it, making sure that all my stuff is still in it, most specifically a certain book that I tried so hard to earn.

It's still there. Everything is still in my bag.

"So do you wish to train with me?" he asked as we walked down the hall.

Yes? No? Do I want to? I don't have a clear answer to that but I know one thing; I don't want to be a damsel in distress all the time. I nod, quietly and lightly with a hint of uncertainty.

"Great. I'll meet you here again the day after tomorrow at six in the morning."

I nod again, not really feeling like I want to speak. Aeron was a nice company. He doesn't push you to speak when you didn't feel like it. He is fine with the silence. He was nice and caring. It might be his attitude as a knight, but it was nice. It was all great until he asked me one question that I didn't foresee him ever throwing my way.

"You're really a witch, aren't you?" he suddenly asks.