𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒𝟕 — 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

With my feet almost failing to support me, I immediately shoved my way into the restroom and slammed the door behind me, clutching the bracelet tightly in my grip. With my other hand, I tried to reach for something to support my weakening knees. But to no avail, I failed.

I slid down the wooden door, resting my head against it. A few slow breaths came after, loud and rough. The rise and fall of my chest started to grow frantic.

My vision blurred as I pulled my knees to my chest, folding myself tightly. I clenched and unclenched my fists, hearing my heart close to my ears.

Inaudible sounds can be heard outside the door, but I couldn't focus enough to listen. It was incoherent.

Adeline, I heard her voice, calling me out from my crumpled shell.

Immediately, I gasped, pulling the gemstone bracelet to my chest. I pushed all thoughts aside as a glimmer of hope began to reach out to me.

Odell- Are you okay? Is it over?

Not yet. They're nearly approaching the barrier. But we're ready for them. You don't need to worry so much, Adeline. I can feel it all the way here.

I can't help it... You have no idea how much my chest is pounding at the moment.

I told you. I can sense your distress all the way here. Stop worrying. I'll be just fine.

You don't know that.

I promised you that I'd be alright, now stop fretting and think of something else. If the attack ends, you'll know.

Then the line ends, leaving me alone with only my thoughts again. Weird how it feels almost as if I was on a phone. When I'm really not. It's just a magical enchanted stone, is all.

"Petal, please open the door. Are you alright in there?" I finally heard Nicholas speak in a voice filled with concern. "I heard rough breathing and whimpers a moment ago. And now... you're just quiet. And I can't help but worry."

"Say something or I might have to break down the door," he said again.

I took a few long breaths to calm myself down, resting my head on the door. "Just– sit by the door for me, Nicholas," I told him.

"What happened? You just suddenly frantically began to walk very fast." I hear him slide down as he leans against the door as well. He sat directly against my frame - separated only by the wooden door. I can feel him there.

"I was just ... scared and worried, Nick."

"About what? The paladins?" he sneered unpleasantly almost scoffing in reply. "They were trained for this, Petal. It's their purpose."

"Well, yes. It's not really because of that but yes. That too. I don't want them hurt."

"It's fine admitting you care. Your big heart was a beautiful charm of yours anyway. It's understandable. You might have spent time with them, enough to care for the outcome."

"I did... but that's not why I acted this way."

I hear him huff after, "Tell me why then," he demanded after a while.

"I don't want them to succeed."

"What–" he questioned, confused and shocked. I don't need to see him to know that his eyes had widened in size. "Why's that?" he asked again.

"I have friends in that village of fey."

"Friends with the magic kind?"

"Yes. I'm friends with those who Greysen named, 'spawn of the devil'," I admitted. I have no reason to lie. He wanted the truth and I needed the comfort.

"Oh." His answer was brisk and almost awkward sounding. Almost as if to tell me that he relates to the term and was used to it.

I shrugged it off, not in the mood for another possible bickering. It's not as if I have the right to control his own thoughts and opinions. Odell is my friend - not his. And that's alright.

"I worry for both sides. I don't want either to get hurt. I don't want Lucian or Odell to be harmed. And the fact that they're both fighting different sides, I couldn't help but worry. I know I wouldn't be able to share relief and happiness with whoever would win at the end of the day. I can only dread till the moment come."

"Oh, Petal..."

I didn't notice it - didn't know when it start - but tears had begun to glisten down my cheeks. I sniffed, dabbling my cheek multiple times with my sleeves. "It's okay though. I'll be fine. You can just leave me be as it is, Nick."

Nicholas was just quiet - acting as if he wasn't there. He made no further response or sounds. It didn't sound like he left nor did it sound like he stayed. Out of nowhere, I heard it again. The rattles of the handles. He's trying to push the door open again.

"Nick–"

"Stay away from the door, Adeline. I'm going in there with you," he announced full of determination.

"What– I can't, even if I want to."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"My legs gave up on me when my heart just won't shut up a moment ago."

He was silent for a while. "Then breathe and scoot away, Petal," he urged before he began pushing the door again.

With a heavy huff, I rake my finger down my long hair. Closing my eyes for a moment, I scolded myself to snap out of it. When my breathing grows slower and softer, my feet still won't work. I had to crawl instead to get away from the door.

Not long after that, he successfully pushed the door open and he stood right in front of the frame, looking straight into my eyes. His gaze was that of scolding affection which I'm so familiar with now.

Without wasting much more time, he hurried to my side. Sitting right beside me, he held my hand softly, squeezing it and rubbing it every so often. His eyes held fixed on mine.

"I don't relate to you, for I've been taught a certain way since young. But I know that it matters not what happened to everything and everyone else, for I only care about you," he spoke in genuine concern. "I would never abandon you when you need me. Never. So don't try pushing me away now."

I let my head droop, eyeing the ground, feeling all emotions and raging thoughts run wildly in me. I sniffled, trying to shut myself down. "I just... I don't know how to feel about it all, Nicholas... I'm just upset. I don't want Lucian to be harmed for he has been a great company when I was with the paladins. I've begun to see him as a friend." I told him, not quite lifting my gaze away from the floor. "And I don't want my friend, Odell to be hurt. I don't want Elrond hurt either. I don't want the war to happen."

Nicholas placed his arms around me and held me close. He softly stroke my hair and made a shushing sound. "Don't worry, Petal. I'll be here, by your side till we heard the news of the attack."

He held me protectively in his embrace. He patted my back lightly with one of his hands while stroking it with his other one. It was soothing. Being in his arm was soothing. His scent was soothing. Nicholas's pure existence is a calming draught to my hectic mind. I needed him. Truly needed him now.

I don't know when, but I've fallen asleep. I woke up when Nicholas softly whisper my name in my ears. When my eyes flutter to find him, only then did I notice how close our proximity was. Our noses almost touched. I'm no longer in the bathroom. I'm in his room. Back on his bed. In his arm still.

His eyes were that of adoration. A smile met his lips as he gazes down towards me. "I hope you rest well." he softly pushed my hair away from my face. "We best head out, for now. Want to walk down the hall with me?" he offered.

I looked up into his eyes. Still couldn't bring myself to fully believe he was now nice – to believe that he truly cared. It's as if he had an on-off flip switch on him.

Squirming in his hold, I grunted in response, lifting myself up in a sitting position. "Are they back yet?"

"Not yet, no," he said, shaking his head in reply.

"How long was I out?"

"The sun is still high out. It hasn't been that long - only long enough for me to watch your feature slowly break down into a calm expression."

I stared at him momentarily, drinking in his words and trying to digest them. "You watched me sleep?" I asked after a few silent seconds.

He nods. "I couldn't bring myself to sleep along, so watching you is what I chose to do. I waited and watched you calm down. I saw your furrowed brows relaxed. And seeing you calmed was nice," he said before adding, "I didn't want to wake you up but I didn't want to leave you either. I feel walking around would do you wonder in helping you stay calm for a bit longer."

"Nicholas," I coughed after he was done speaking. "Watching me sleep was a bit creepy. Even for you."

"I didn't mean to be weird..." he said, ashamed as he looked down. "I was just watching you because you are in my arms, Petal. I can't help it when you're that close in my reach."

"It's fine, Nicholas. I'm not exactly mad," I admitted before adding, "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I need protection, Nicholas. I don't normally need it but lately, I've been only pathetic."

"Are you perfectly fine now?"

"As perfectly fine as I can be." I smiled. "If you really want to go for a walk with me, we can do that. I don't mind it."

He nods, smiling and began to get off his bed as he helps me out of it too.

The halls seem to narrow down a bit. The ground seems to move under my feet, almost shaking and wobbling at every step I took. Surely, I was the only one feeling it. Nicholas was walking just fine beside me.

One step and then another. My world slowly crumbled below my feet as I slowly descended towards the hallway path, holding my head painfully as it throbs.

I feel Nicholas hold me in place, stopping me from hitting the ground. I could hear fast feet shuffling approaching us. Quiet and tender accompanied by alertness.

"Are you alright there," a voice chirped when nearing us.

I grunted and struggled to look up at the person who owned the friendly voice. I meet eyes with a pair of greyish-blue staring back at me. His brown hair was messy and his olive face has a black stain, probably from working too close to a fire source.

"Merlin? What are you doing here?" Nicholas voiced towards the male servant standing mere feet away from us.

Hold on. Merlin? As in– Holy shit!

"Arthur had asked me to check up on you, Sir Nicholas," he answered before he once again turned to me, "Are you alright?" he asked again.

"I'm not alright. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You look purple. Try to breathe. In and out."

I was a bit uncertain but I followed anyway. It's Merlin for fucking sake! He probably knew better. Slowly I started to feel a bit lighter. My breathing slowed down and I'm no longer feeling as if I was floating on midground. All the time, I can feel a cold soft tingle on my skin and I knew he had used magic on me to make me feel better.

It is Merlin.

"I'm feeling a bit pleasant now. Thank you, Merlin."

"It's alright. Glad to help," he nodded before he then turned to Nicholas, "I heard Lord Greysen took the paladins into the woods today."

"No, the paladins went without him. I was there. I saw them go in by themselves," Nicholas replied, in his usual monotone voice.

"Hopefully everyone would have only a minor injury at the end of it this time."

"Hopefully."

I watched their exchange, back and forth, and then I cleared my throat to gain the attention of the two. "Merlin," I called the man before me.

He turned, dropping his grey eyes back on me. "Yes?"

"I don't mean to interrupt, but can I talk with you, over there, just for a few seconds?" I said, pointing towards a nearby corner.

Merlin turned to gaze at Nicholas, almost as if asking for permission to say yes to me. When Nicholas nods his head, so did Merlin and he went ahead and walked to the corner, with me following him close behind.

"I need your help," I told him.

Merlin appeared sceptical as a goofy-looking grin appears on his face. "I do not want to take care of your chores. Arthur is already one horrible prat I had to care of. You have to do it yourself."

I would have laughed. Merlin's statement would have relieved me and made me laugh if it wasn't for how worried I felt at that very moment. "No, no. Not that. I need you to help me make sure that no one was truly harmed in that ongoing war."

Merlin seem to consider something for a moment before he smiled again. "I heard that the paladins had taken you in to train alongside them. I guess it wasn't just a rumour. I'm sure they would be just fine, don't worry too much. I have no idea why you're asking me this. Not that I can do anything about it."

"But you're Merlin. I know what you are. I know exactly what you can do. I know you're more than just Merlin the royal servant. I know of your ability. I know that you're Emrys."

The boy was stunned for a moment, I believed because of the name I called him. His grey eyes seem to grow out of focus before his features relaxed, once again. He finally looked back at me, very seriously. "I'm pretty sure my name's Merlin. It always has been."

"Oh, Merlin. I'm not an enemy. I'm just someone who knows that you can help both parties avoid harming each other."

He looked again, very deeply into my eyes, and then he sighed. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're talking treason. Everyone knows the monarch hunts witches. I was sure everyone in Camelot thinks magic is bad."

"Not everyone. I'm not from Camelot. In fact, I'm not even from your world, or timeline, whatsoever. I care for the people who reside in that village. A few of them are my friends. I care just as much for the army of the monarch just as I would for the people residing in that village, as I don't want the paladin to get hurt either."

Merlin was quiet once more for a moment. "In a war, once started, no one can try to stop it. One side will have to suffer more than the rest for it to temporarily ends."

"Temporary?"

"What's your name?"

"Adeline."

"Alright, Adeline. I feel the need to remind you, it matters not where you came from. It matters not how you feel. The war was already happening before either of us even see the world yet. Even if I went there to stop both sides from hurting too much, what may I say to them, my reason for being there?"

"The same way you thought of a reason and explanation whenever you save Arthur, Merlin."

"I won't do it. It's not worth it."

"But Merlin–"

"End of discussion."

***

A/N: Well, now that was quite the long chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. What do you think would happen at the end of this battle? Would the fae thrive more than the paladins, or would it be the other way around?

What do you think of Merlin's decision? Do you think he was right and was being rational?

Well, do share your opinions and thoughts. Once again, thank you for reading!

Published: 12/5/23 (1:42 AM)