Me: I am the rat king

Friend: what's your story

Me: I was born to elven parents who didn't like me so they flushed me down the toilet when I was a baby

Another friend: wait u got flushed down the toilet and was adopted by rats ?

Me: ye-a they found me and nurtured me and this is my dad here *holds up plushie of a rat* and he feed me with his teats

Another friend: yeah I bet he did that white milk from his bottom "teat"

Me: yea...so I had a very salty up bringing though

Friend: w-what a charming tale

Dm: oh god *head in the table laughing*

Friend: je-jesus christ *snickering*

Dm: what are u goals what are your life goals

Friend: it can only go up from here

Dm: *crying from laughter*

Another friend: to find his dad's other tit

Me: *leans back*

Friend: hahahahah