'a story made from a dream.'

AESTHETIC MEMORIES
A ONE SHOT STORY
by
HannahRedspring
aka
Scarlett Summers
01.28.21

You'll never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.

=×=×=×=×=

I WAKE UP from a dream with tears in my eyes.

My emotions are all over the place as I wonder why that dream pained me as if something just pinched my soul. It's like a part of me is screaming from the depths of my heart.

"Remember Heather... Don't you forget me... Us..."

Yet no matter how many times I replay that scene in my mind, I really can't remember. That dream, is it even real? Or was it just some made up scenes that my mind created?

To be honest, I really don't know what to believe, but a dream is just a dream.

It's just pure chemical reaction and stuff and you shouldn't be bothered by the dreams you can't remember Heather. I reminded myself, I shouldn't cling to something that is not real. Just think of it like a glitch in a computer, it's not that important.

What's important is what reality is showing you in the present. It's one shitty reality that I have to endure day by day.

I activated the AI and it greeted me back as if I was its friend. Whoever made this AI surely did his or her job to make the AI sound almost human.

In the year where different technologies are abundant, what more could humans do?

Smartphones make every life easier as if you have your very own compact laptop wherever you go. Every task is just like a swipe of a finger that you could do in less than an hour rather than four hours of work and brainstorming.

Nowadays, you can just select whatever designs, food, dress, shoes, accessories, you want and voila, everything is set for you. And just like my usual routine the AI and the machine did its work and filled me up with everything that should happen today especially my breakfast. However, before I could even hear today's schedule, my mother called me on my phone.

I swiped it and a hologram appeared right in front of the tiny screen.

"Good morning sweetie."

"Heya, Mom. Good morning, what's up?" I smiled for her not to worry about me much.

"All is good, have you taken your medicine? Have you eaten your breakfast already?" Here goes old worrying Mom.

"Mom, I'm thirty two, I am okay." I giggled and saw worry in her eyes.

"Well we don't want you to have another episode sweetie." Mom reminded me.

"I already did what you asked me to, Mom. I don't skip my meals and I drink my meds on time."

She sighs in relief, "Well, the package should arrive at your place by now, it's a gift from your friends. They must have mistakenly delivered it here since they don't know where to find you."

Geez, how could I even forget about that? Well they shouldn't have bothered.

"Thanks Mom, I appreciated it." I say with a small cynical smile.

"Have you talked to them? You know that-"

"Mom, it's been fifteen years, I'm sure they have forgotten about me." I cut her trying to sound casual before she could tell me to reach out for my so-called friends back when I was in college. Well they've moved on and that's good. Some of them have their own families already, some of them were already successful in their lives.

We just grew apart and that's perfectly fine with me. They've moved on, but I don't know a part of me is still stuck in the past.

Ever since that accident, time has stopped for me. Time stopped and when I woke up everything in my life turned around. It all happens so fast that I could even catch up.

All I can remember is hiking, we were all hiking to reach the summit that day and gladly we did. I can still remember the heat of the sun and the breeze of the wind on the top of that summit. We even took our picture and checked out one goal from our bucket list.

We swore to each other to do everything out of our comfort zone and even if hiking isn't usually one of my hobbies, since I'm with my friends; I thought back then, maybe I should give it a try. Besides, we got each other's backs.

OR as what I thought.

I woke up thinking I was still seventeen.

I was still seventeen when I saved a close friend of mine from an accident that almost happened to her but unfortunately, I was the unlucky one who took the blow. I fell from a cliff and I don't know how deep it was.

It was like I'm in hypersleep for how many years and because of that, time just stopped for me. Waking up after those years of sleep, everything just changed around me. Literally everything, as if I am in a parallel world or something... if that even exists because some old films say so.

Everything happened so fast that my brain couldn't catch up, sometimes I couldn't help throwing up because the doctors said that I'm still in a shock.

That I still can't accept my reality.

That I am rejecting my reality.

It took me a while to recover, both physically and mentally. Perhaps even spiritually.

After my therapy and sessions, the first thing I did was call my friends. Since mom told me that they've been visiting me when I was asleep back then. Yet ever since they had their own jobs as working adults, they barely got the time to drop by and check up on me.

Well now that I am awake, I did expect them to answer my calls. I expect them to miss me like I missed them.

However, none of them responded as if I didn't exist in their lives anymore.

Time to time, what I can do is just see their updates on social media. It feels like I'm stalking them, but I can't do better than what I am doing since they all looked happy and enjoying the time of their lives.

I know I should be happy for them.

Some of them had boyfriends and girlfriends already, some just started their business at a young age and some of them even had kids.

I should be happy for them, I know I should; but bitterness starts to sink my heart every time I see their faces as if they're happy without me in their lives anymore.

I just got fed up after that.

I deleted my social media accounts and I cut ties with the people in my past.

Well, who needs someone like me? Who even remembers the naïve Heather?

For sure they wouldn't even remember me, hell they wouldn't. I was the odd one out way back then. I'm just another person in their group. Just another person who thought that I could be friends with them since I had none way back when I was in high school. I was always bullied just because my mom and I were living together with a rich classmate of mine who came out to be my mom's friend.

But then again not just because your parents are friends with your classmate's parents, it would mean that you can also be friends with them.

Luckily for some others, that kind of relationship works. But with me, I became some so-called squad's maid

I hated it to be honest, but how can I say no if I am protecting my mother's image?

I forced myself to be good and to do good, but life is just unfair to keep on throwing rocks at me. Back then, the fourteen year old me didn't even know how to fight for herself.

Unlike the person who I am now.

Remembering college is way different from high school, that is true. Yeah, me and my college friends had fun way back then, we shared each other's pain and were in each other's company every time life hit us hard.

For the first time in my life, I was accepted by the way I am. They accept my imperfections, however I admit that there are times that I also please them just to keep them around, just for me not to feel alone anymore.

However, life is just so fucked up.

Maybe I'm unlucky meeting other people. I'm not even confident if I am a good friend since people have a habit of leaving me behind after they're done with me.

Well, what's more when it comes to boyfriends?

I liked a guy once, but he didn't like me back. Well he told me he liked me, but only as a friend. I accepted that. Yet there are times that he sends me signals that we're more than friends but less than lovers.

To cut it short, I realized in the end that I was just his rebound because he said that he loved his ex more than he wanted to have a romantic relationship with me. That he's just using me to make her ex feel jealous... so that in the end, they'll still end up together.

How sweet ain't it? So fucking sweet that I almost choke.

I was taken back from my reality when I heard the doorbell ring. "Open it, maybe that's the package I sent you." my mom says excitingly.

"Okay Mom, I have to drop the call, I'll just update you, okay? I love you." I said with a smile before hanging up as she replied with her usual cheery voice telling me how much she loves me.

I opened the door and saw a robot. A flash just appeared in my eyes. That's an indication that the robot just took a picture of me for documentation purposes. "Delivery for-"

I just grabbed the package before it could say another word. I roll my eyes, it's just a stupid robot anyway.

It has no emotions.

Robots are so lucky. They were made for a purpose and programmed as to how they should be to assist humans and make their lives easier.

Sometimes I wish to become a robot. Well maybe I'm slowly becoming one, I wanted to be one. Robots don't expect anything from humans anyway, if only I could reject my very own emotions. Oh that's right, I'm taking some of those medicines. The doctors said that it stabilizes my hormones. If the doctors say so, I'll just believe it. They're the ones who kept me alive anyway.

As an adult, everyday was just all about work. Be a responsible adult and be a part of the society. I work in a company that pays me well even if I really don't like my job. But what can I say, I got bills and debts to pay. So I gotta earn something to keep on living while I curse the system in this society.

The rich keep on living the time of their lives while the people below them have to work their ass for them.

Fuck society. Fuck the system and fuck life for being shitty.

I opened the package that mom gave me and saw a pair of eyeglasses. It looked expensive, the frame is clear but it is thick and I noticed that the glass is clear as crystal. I will surely look like a nerd wearing this.

Geez.

'All we have is now.'

That's the only message that I saw in a piece of paper. On the second note, it is a small envelope with a nano sized round memory card in it.

I checked the eyeglasses, and beside it is a memory card slot. I put the round thing in and immediately the eye glasses just changed its color as if I just activated it.

Okay, now that's cool. I wore the glasses and immediately it scanned my eyes confirming me as the owner of this item.

Nice tech, I said in my mind. Whoever made this surely knows how to keep his/her client's security and privacy.

"Today you'll be attending a school reunion Ms. Heather," the AI's voice reminded me as the address of the place just flashes in front of my eyes. "And you will be escorted by Mr. Richard."

"Wait, who contacted Richard?" I asked the AI, it's been years since I last saw his face.

To be honest, I planned to ditch this stupid reunion right before Richard could see me in my unit. I immediately walked out my door, however to my surprise he's already there wearing a 'casual' attire. He looks like he gained some weight. Teenage Richard is thinner than adult Richard.

Damn it!

"Hello Heather. Glad that you remembered." his warm friendly voice hasn't changed after how many years, "The glasses look good on you by the way." he complimented me, then a skeptical smile forms in his face immediately as if he just read what's on my mind, "You don't plan on ditching the reunion haven't you?"

I sighed in defeat, "Fine, I'm coming with you." I say as I lock my door.

"Great!" his voice is filled with delight. "Let's go?" he said with a smile and I just nodded. To be honest, I don't know what to say since it's been years since I last saw Richard.

We went straight to the train station and unlike the transportation before, this train station connects every continent in the world. So there's no need for planes or boats, not unless people use it for luxury purposes... Only for the rich people.

For the past few years all four wheel vehicles have been replaced by capsule vehicles because they said that it's more eco friendly.

Capsule vehicles are like taxis in this age. They only entertain short distance drives, unlike bullet trains where every part of the world has its stop. Everyone you meet is from another country and the universal language is English.

When it comes with the fare, the payment is simple. All you have to do is pay online in exchange for a QR code that will serve as your ticket together with your ID. Before entering the vehicle, it is required that you scan your ID from your smartphone and voila!

Unlike before, the world today has changed and people are now taking care of our earth with the help of our technology. Thanks to all the contributors around the globe for making this a possible change for the world.

In the past, pollution almost suffocated our earth. Now everything is much clearer, greener and livelier.

Richard and I took a bullet train returning to our homeland. Yeah, I've been out of the country since I cut ties with some people in the past, yet however for some reason; I just can't get rid of Richard and I don't know why. He asked me a series of questions until we reached the point that he couldn't think of anything else to say. He smiles at me as I see him just watching the view outside.

My thoughts lead me somewhere again as I remember his voice back when I was asleep. Mom said that Richard is the only one who visits me consistently when I am still unconscious. Maybe that's the only thing that I am clinging into.

Of all my friends, Richard was the only one who actually stayed. Yet I know in my heart that there's this fear that what if one day he'll just realize that I'm no longer worth his time? What if one day he'll just leave like the others?

I may be overthinking this again, but is it bad for me to protect myself from getting hurt again?

We arrived at the place. A twelve hour flight from the west side of the country to the east side only took us five hours of a bullet train ride.

God bless technology.

"Let's meet the gang here first." Richard told me as he naturally blends in the crowd. By the time he sees the people who I haven't seen in years, I take a deep breath, gulp and put up a casual facade in front of them. Just be civil Heather.

I greeted them as they greeted me like we just met yesterday. We talked for a while and ate together. However, since I have nothing interesting to share in my life, there are times where I just shut my mouth as I hear them chit chat with one another.

"You okay Heather?" Richard asked sincerely with a friendly smile. I just nodded with a cynical smile, "Come on, engage in a conversation with them, it's been years you know, catch up."

"Nothing in my life is worth sharing, Richie." I answered monotonously as I noticed Sydney, Randy, Lindsay and Michael looking at my direction, "Sorry guys." I muttered and saw Lindsay shaking her head with a small smile.

"As long as you're here with us, everything's good. Besides, it's been years since we last saw you Heather." Sydney uttered with a hint of worry as she looked at the rest where everyone was awkwardly smiling at me.

"Yeah, it's been years." I nodded avoiding their eyes.

"We do miss you though." says Michael.

"How are you coping up?" Randy asks.

"You know, you can still tell us everything." That's Sydney again.

"It's okay if we don't rush things out. Let's just have fun." That's Richard lighting up the mood again.

"Maybe next time guys." I told them and they smiled apologetically.

We went to the venue and saw a lot of people together with some of their friends. It's been quite a while since I remember the establishment of the school premises where most of my memories here were filled with everything that I hold dear.

In this humble school, all of my friends graduated except me because of the accident.

Well technically, I'm also a graduate here. But I wasn't able to walk alongside my friends on that day and up until now, I missed how that felt like.

Maybe it's the same feeling as when we hiked together on that summit a few years back.

Those memories.

The event holds a programme proper where people are familiarizing one another. I humbly tell Richard that I'll just go to the restroom but I'm not sure if he heard me.

Along the hall, I noticed a girl who was sleeping on the bench almost near the bathroom hall. That's just odd, I wonder if she's okay?

But then again, mind your own business Heather.

After I'm done with my bathroom break, I noticed that two girls approached the sleeping girl who I saw earlier and was surprised to see that they just unplugged her.

So the sleeping girl is an android?

"Hey, Heather, right?" One of the girls noticed me right away.

I gave an awkward smile as I tried remembering her name.

"Nancy." She introduces herself.

"Oh, hi." I greeted her half-heartedly because I really can't remember her from my memory.

"Do you remember Sam?" She introduces the girl who is fixing the android's cable.

I just gave her a simple nod. I remember Sam. Her hair is still curly and her gray eyes are almost noticeable. She's still pretty even if the years gave her those noticeable wrinkles.

My eyes again landed on the android that is now smiling at me as if she's human. She looks human and it is oddly creepy. It reminded me of that old film I watched, The Bicentennial Man starring Robin Williams. But not to worry about the dark side of robotics and AI like the Terminator, for the laws of robotics is still an absolute rule to be followed amongst machines and movies are just made for entertainment purposes.

"Nice android." I wasn't able to hold back my awkward comment as I saw them looking at each other with uncertainty, "I really thought that she's human." I said not sounding that naive.

"Well, she was." Sam says almost in a whisper fixing the android's hair.

What does that mean by that?

I look at the android and remembered her face. She looks like Aiko. One of Nancy and Sam's friends back in college.

"Well the point is we're still together Sam." Nancy tells her like she's comforting her and looking back at me, "You can replace people by making one of these." she says with pride and I really don't know how to react from that statement.

Maybe she's right.

The android is just smiling at them and back at me as if it is a real person. As per Nancy, the pre-made programming of Aiko's android is made from how they see Aiko as a person plus some memories that they shared with one another through pictures and videos.

Whatever they installed in Android Aiko, is what they cling on to how they lost Aiko. I didn't bother to ask what happened between the three of them, they're not even close to me anyway.

Android Aiko might look friendly on the outside, but then on the inside; it's just hardware and software, it has no real emotions.

I excused myself as I left the restroom.

Suddenly there's this scenario that plays in my environment as I look around the place. It replays a nostalgic memory that I locked away in my heart.

That's Angie when we were still young and I also see the young version of me.

Why am I seeing this?

"Remember Heather... Don't you forget me... us... no matter what, I'll always keep you in my memory..."

I am feeling a little dizzy as I hide myself in an empty classroom.

Maybe I need to drink my medicine, this is tearing my brain apart. My mind is playing games with me again.

However, to my surprise I see Richard walking towards me, "Why do you take those meds Heather?" He asks me with concern.

"It's my medication. I need it." I answered him, picking up the pieces of me together from breaking apart.

"No you don't." he shakes his head with a friendly tone.

"What are you saying Richard?" I asked him, "Why are you even here?" I ask, dismissing him. He should have stayed with the others.

"To remind you of something you forgot."

"I wonder what's that?" I hissed at him not to sound sarcastic as he smiled at me.

"You'll see everything, just don't take those meds," he advised.

"Tell me one good reason why I should stop drinking these... tell me one good reason why I should believe you... These meds kept me alive all these years. These meds are all I had when I had none."

"That's true, but they suppress your emotions Heather and it's bad for you. I'm telling you this, because I'm your friend."

"Maybe I don't need my emotions, maybe I don't need friends or anyone." I snapped back at him, "I should have died back then." I don't know why I just burst into tears after I said that out loud and removed my glasses.

My emotions were all over the place again thanks to nosy Richard... I hate it when I'm like this, because no matter what I do, deep inside I'm one fucked up mess. Emotions are just unbalanced hormones. Sometimes I even want to curse science for it.

"Heather!" I hear Michael's voice with worry together with Sydney and Randy, "We've been looking all over for you."

"What happened?" Sydney asks me as she levels herself embracing me.

"Richard is just telling nonsense." I muttered, covering my eyes like a child, "I should drink my meds." to my surprise Sydney kept my medicine away from me.

I look at her in disbelief, "Syd." She shakes her head with a hint of worry in her eyes.

"Stop Heather, just stop taking them." her voice is almost pleading with me.

"So what, are you siding with Richard now?" I asked her and attempted to look at Richard but he's nowhere to be found, "Where's that ass, Richard?"

"Heather..." Michael's voice almost descends.

"And where is Lindsay?" I asked Randy, "She's just with you earlier, where is she?"

Randy gave me a painful smile as he uttered, "Lindsay is gone Heather."

Wait, what?

"She was just with us earlier, stop messing with me Randy!" I snapped at them and noticed that Sydney is crying now.

"Lindsay died giving birth to our second child, Heather." Randy's voice is filled with guilt, "Lindsay is long gone."

"How about Richard? Where is he?" I asked him. He was just here moments ago. What the fuck is going on?

"Heather, Richie uploaded everything into his gift for you before he passed on." Michael admitted.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, keeping my voice from breaking.

"Heather, Richie had cancer. But before he died he asked us for help to make you an AI. I programmed it and Randy engineered it. The glasses that you're wearing, Sydney and Lindsay designed it... for you; and Richard, well Richard took every video of our memories together that you can see through the lense of those glasses."

"The real world is different from virtual reality, this is just stupid." I tell them with tears in my eyes holding myself together.

"Yes, it is different." Sydney tells me, "But those memories, they are real Heather."

"How about Angie?" I asked them, "Where is Angie?"

"She couldn't take the guilt when you saved her back then." Michael answered, "Since that day, the group almost fell apart without you Heather."

I look at them dumbfounded.

"Angie was the one who's hurt the most after the accident, plus the fact that she learned that Richard had cancer. For Angie, it felt like she'd been punished by the world. She couldn't forgive herself and turn her back against us." Michael explained, "She couldn't take any more losses, so Richard set her free."

I said nothing, but cried. As far as I can remember, Angie and Richard were together for quite some time in the past, what I didn't know was how it ended for them.

I cried and felt Sydney's arms around me until I calmed down.

Why can't I keep up to what's happening in my world now?

Why does pain exist in this reality?

I lost two of my closest friends in a blink of an eye and I wasn't even given a chance to say a proper goodbye.

Now everything starts to make sense, why my mom keeps telling me I should reach out to my friends because like me they're all lost. Not all the smiles you see in social media were true because after Randy and Lindsay had their second child, it was also the end for Lindsay.

Everyone has their ways of coping up, it just so happens that my own way of coping up is by rejecting my reality. That's why the doctors gave me a medicine where I could suppress my emotions, but the truth is I want closure for myself because the past keeps haunting me for running away from it.

After I calmed down, we left the classroom together. They said that they'll be accompanying me until I reach the train station because they're perfectly aware that after I become aware of everything, I need some time to catch up. The reason they made the glasses was for me to accept my reality little by little without breaking down.

Like me, they're not going to stay for the next programme because it is enough that we had some time together after the years that separates us.

Along the hallway, we noticed Nancy and Aiko together.

"Hello guys." Nancy greeted us with a small smile and looked at Randy, "Hey, I know you're still grieving, but with this," she's referring to her Android Aiko, "You can have Lindsay's face again in a physical body, with a little tweak from its programming. Besides, you're also a part of engineering this technology, right?"

"I know how much you love Aiko, but you can't replace her like that, Nancy. You should know better, machines couldn't fill in the void of the ones we lost." Randy advises her with a smile as we walk away from the school.

Right before I rode to the train station I thanked them for the gift they gave me. It may not be an android like Nancy and Sam's version of Aiko, but it's something worth holding for. It's what makes me human.

My emotions, my memories and the compromise that I owe to myself. Time might have changed for all of us, but they're real. The past has guided us to who and what we are now. And as long as we treasure those memories, our hearts will always be connected to one another.

I wear the glasses again and see Lindsay and Richard beside my friends. This scene is so nostalgic.

"Is there any reason why Lindsay and Richard are still on the screen?" I asked my friends, almost teasing them to light up the mood.

"We all look good in a picture together, don't we?" Sydney tried to humor me as the boys shook their heads with a small smile.

"Yep I agree," I say as I see all of them together, "We're all good together in one picture." I cried a tear.

I'm so sorry. My heart wants to express those words but my voice fails me.

"Hey, you're crying again." Sydney looked at me with worry, "If this is too much for you, we're sorry." she says handing over the medicine that she took away from me earlier, "If you still need this, I'm sorry for taking it from you."

I shake my head, "It's been a while since I cried like this."

"We are truly sorry Heather..." Michael uttered with a soft smile.

"Especially when you feel like you're all alone... when you need us the most." Randy added.

"We only hope that we could make up for you, if only you allowed us to be a part of your life again." Sydney wipes my tears away, "You've been asleep for so long and distance kept you from us for how many years."

"You know, you guys could have replaced me, like how Nancy did with Aiko." I humored them and they shook their heads.

"If we did, then it wouldn't be naive Heather anymore. That's a bum, right?" Randy answered with that same old dry humor and Sydney hit him playfully.

"I'm so sorry too." I look at them one by one, "To all of you." I feel my heart is relieved from the weight I am feeling as I say those words to them. "One thing is for sure, Richard is right," I said, taking the canister from Sydney's hand, "I don't need the medicines anymore." I throw the canister into the trash bin, look back at them, I sighed and smiled, "The next time we'll have our reunion, I'll make sure that Angie will come along."

I see Richard smiling at me like he's proud of me. He might be just a part of Richard as a person because he's an AI; but I'm sure if ghosts were real, he'll look exactly as that annoying looking fella who I'm just seeing through these glasses I'm wearing.

Bittersweet memories start to play in my mind.

"All we have is now." I uttered as I noticed the smile on their faces.

"Now and forever." we said in unison as we laughed like we did way back when we were still in college.

I bid them goodbye as I rode the train on my way home.

"Were those memories still painful for you, Heather?" He asks me with curiosity in his voice.

"It is," I answered back and met his gaze like I'm talking to my dearest best friend at this moment, "It is painful Richard, it is painful because it happened. Because it's real."

He said nothing but smiled at me. I know that I can't hold his hand physically, but in my heart he'll always be a part of my memories.

I'll be missing you Richard. I closed my eyes as I removed my eyeglasses, by the time I opened my eyes he was no longer there.

Today, it became a memory... an aesthetic memory... that I'll keep in my heart forever.

- The End -

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

This story is dedicated to my dear best friend, thank you for everything ever since we became friends.

Though distance and time, we're unbreakable.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

I love you so much and you know that because we're siblings from different mothers, lol!