"I'm so sorry that he pushed you like that." Zed tells me as I swipe the warm cloth across his busted cheek.

The skin is cut open and just won't stop bleeding.

"No, it's not your fault. I'm sorry you keep getting drug into this." I sigh and dip the cloth back into his sink.

He had offered to take me back to Landon's instead of fulfilling our previous plan of seeing a movie but I didn't want to go back to Landon's. I didn't want Hardin to show up there and cause a scene because no one would be there to keep him away from me. He's probably there destroying their entire house right now.

God I hope not.

"It's cool. I know how he is, I'm just glad he didn't hurt you. Well, worse than he did." He sighs.

"I'm going to apply pressure to this so it may hurt." I warn him.

"Okay." He says and closes his eyes as I press the cloth to his skin and apply as much pressure as I can.

The cut is deep, it looks like it may scar even. I hope not, Zed's face is too perfect to hold a scar like this and I certainly don't want to be the cause of it.

"Done." I say and he smiles despite the fact that his mouth is swollen as well.

Why am I always cleaning up wounds?

"Thank you." He smiles again as I rinse off the blood stained towel.

"I'll send you a bill." I tease.

"Are you sure you're okay though? You hit the ground pretty hard."

"Yeah, I'm a little sore but I'm fine." I tell him.

The events from tonight took a drastic turn for the worst when Hardin followed me outside. I had a feeling he wasn't too hurt by me leaving him but I thought he would be more effected than he was. He said he was busy and that's why he hadn't called me. Even though I thought he wouldn't care as much as I did, I thought he loved me enough to care a little.

He was acting as if nothing had even happened, as if we were friends having a causal conversation until he saw Zed and lost it. If anything I thought seeing Trevor would anger him and he would try to start a fight in front of everyone but he couldn't care less, until he saw Zed and he lost it.

At least Zed didn't push me to the ground. Regardless of how brokenhearted I am I know Hardin wouldn't hurt me purposely but this is the second time something like this happened. The first time I was quick to excuse his behavior. I was the one who convinced him to go to his father's for Christmas and he just couldn't handle it. Tonight was his fault, he shouldn't have even been there.

"Are you hungry?" Zed asks me as we walk out of his small bathroom and into the living room.

"No, I already ate at the party." I tell him, my voice is still hoarse from the excessive amount of sobbing on the way to Zed's apartment.

"Okay, we don't have much anyway but I could order you something if you want, so just let me know if you change your mind."

"Thank you." Zed is always so incredibly sweet to me.

"My roommate will be here in a little while but he won't bother you, he'll probably crash as soon as he gets in." He tells me.

"I really am sorry that this keeps happening."

"Don't apologize, like I said I'm just glad I was there for you. He seemed pretty angry when I got there."

"We were already fighting, go figure." I take a seat on the couch and wince.

All of my bruises and cuts from my wreck just healed and now I am going to have another, from Hardin.

The back of my dress is dirty and ruined and my shoes are scuffed down the sides. Hardin really does ruin everything that he comes in contact with.

"Do you need some clothes to sleep in?" He asks, handing me the old blanket I slept with a few nights ago.

I am slightly apprehensive to borrow Zed's clothes. That's something I share with Hardin, I have never worn anyone else's clothing before.

"Rebecca has some stuff here.. I know that's probably awkward but I'm sure they are better than sleeping in that dress." He half smiles.

"I can't fit in her clothes, but thank you for thinking I could." I almost laugh, Rebecca is much smaller than me.

He seems to be confused by my answer, his cluelessness is adorable.

"I have some clothes you can wear." He offers and I nod before I allow myself to overthink it.

I can wear whoever's clothing I want, Hardin doesn't own me and he didn't even care enough to try to explain himself to me.

Zed disappears into his bedroom and returns moments later with his hands full of clothing.

"I grabbed a few different things, I don't know what you like." There is something behind his tone that makes me think he would really like to get to that stage with me. The one where you know what the other likes. The stage I am in with Hardin.

"I'm not picky." I grab a blue t-shirt and a pair of plaid pants.

I give him a thankful smile before I go into the bathroom to change. To my horror, the plaid article that I thought was pants is in fact a pair of boxers. Zed's boxers. Oh god. I unzip my dress and pull the large t-shirt over my head before processing what to do about the boxers.

The shirt is smaller than Hardin's shirts are, it barely hits the top of my thigh and it doesn't smell like Hardin. Of course it doesn't, it's not Hardin's. It smells like laundry soap with the smallest hint of cigarette smoke. The smell is nice somehow, but not as nice as the familiar scent of Hardin.

I pull the boxers up my legs and look down. They aren't too short and they are sort of baggy, tighter than Hardin's would be but not too tight. I will just walk to the couch and cover myself with the blanket as fast as I can.

I am incredibly embarrassed to be wearing them but it would be even more embarrassing to make a big deal out of it after everything he has been through tonight because of me. His face holds the proof of Hardin's anger, a big bloody reminder of why Hardin and I would never work. He only cares for himself and the only reason he lost it when he saw Zed is his pride. He doesn't want me but he doesn't want me to be with anyone either and that's not fair.

I leave my dress folded on the bathroom floor, it's already dirty and ruined anyway. I am going to take it to the dry cleaners but I'm not sure if it can be saved. I really loved that dress too and it cost me a decent amount of money, money that I need to be able to move into my own apartment with.

I walk as fast as I can but when I reach the living room Zed is standing next to the television stand. His eyes go wide as they rake up and down my body. I will never understand what it is about women wearing men's clothes that they like so much, maybe the intimacy of it? I'm not sure but I loved wearing Hardin's clothes more than anything.

"I..uh, I was putting something.. I was putting, trying to find a movie.. to watch. Or something for you to watch, I mean." He stutters and I sit on the couch, pulling the blanket over me.

His fumbled words and the look in his eyes makes him look younger and more vulnerable than usual.

"Sorry, I was trying to say I was turning the t.v on so you could watch it." He laughs nervously.

"Thank you." I smile as he takes a seat on the other side of the couch.

He rest his elbows on his knees and stares forward.

"If you don't want to keep hanging out with me, I understand." I say to him.

"What? No, don't think that." He turns to face me.

"Don't worry about me, I can handle it. A couple beatings isn't going to make me stay away from you. The only thing that will is if you tell me to. You want me to then I will but until you tell me to go, I'm here." His eyes pour into mine.

"I don't. Want you to go, that is. I just don't know what to do about Hardin, I don't want him to hurt you, again." I tell him.

"He's a pretty violent guy, I know what to expect I guess. Don't worry about me though. I just hope that after seeing who he really is tonight, you will distance yourself from him."

"I am, I definitely am. He doesn't care anyway, so why should I?" Sadness creeps in.

"You shouldn't. You're too good for him anyway, you always have been." He assures me and I scoot closer to him on the couch.

He lifts the blanket slightly and covers himself with it before pressing a button on the remote. I love the ease between us, he doesn't say things just for the single purpose of pissing me off, he doesn't hurt my feelings on purpose.

"Are you tired?" I ask him.

"Nah, you?"

"A little."

"Go to sleep then, I can go in my room."

"No, you can stay out here until I fall asleep?" My tone is more asking than telling.

"Yeah, sure." He beams.

Hardin's POV.

My fist hits the top of my trunk and I scream to let out some of my anger. How did that happen?

How did I push her to the ground? He knew what was going to happen the moment he stepped out of that truck and he ended up getting his ass beat again. I know Tessa, she is going to pity him and blame herself for his ass beating and she's going to think she owes him something.

"Fuck!!" I scream even louder.

"What are you yelling about?" Christian appears in the snowy driveway.

"Nothing."

The only person that I will ever love just left with the person I despise the most in the world.

"Obviously something."

"I don't really feel like having a fucking heart to heart right now." I snap.

"Neither do I, I am just trying to figure out why there's an asshole screaming in my driveway." He says with a smile.

"Fuck off." I nearly laugh.

"I take it she didn't accept your apology?"

"Who says I had an apology, or a reason to need one?"

"Because you're you, and on top of that you're a man.. we always have to apologize first. It's the way it is."

"Yeah well she doesn't want my apology."

"Every woman wants an apology."

"Not mine.. not her."

I can't get the image of her looking to Zed for comfort out of my mind.

"Fine, are you coming back inside?"

"No.. I don't know." I shake the snow from my hair and push it back off my forehead.

"Ken.. your dad, and Karen are getting ready to leave."

"And I give a shit ..why?" I ask him and he chuckles.

"Your language never ceases to surprise me." He laughs.

"You curse just as much as I do."

"Exactly." He puts his arm around my shoulders and I surprise myself by letting him lead me back inside.

Tessa's POV.

The door opens with a hidous creak, waking me from my sleep. When I open my eyes Hardin is kneeling down in front of the couch, his face only inches from mine.

"What are you.." I begin but he covers my mouth with his hand.

"Shhh.. I came to apologize and bring you back home where you belong, with me." He tells me.

"But you.." He covers my mouth again.

"Just hear me out, please baby." He pleads and there is no way that I can deny him.

"I'm so sorry for everything. I should have chased after you the second you left me, I'm a god damned idiot and I'm so sorry. I have missed you so much Tess, every second without you has killed me. Please, please, come home with me and I will make this up to you. I swear it." He uncovers my mouth.

He is saying everything that I want to hear and it feels so perfect having him show up here to finally say these things.

"I can't live without you Tessa, you know I can't. Look at me, I know you can see how terrible I look." He says and I nod slowly.

His eyes are red rimmed and he looks like he hasn't eaten in days. I noticed earlier at the party but I assumed it was because he had been drinking and partying much more.

"Please baby." He says once more, his green eyes on mine.

"Okay.. it won't be as easy this time. You have to prove it to me." I tell him, trying desperately to hold my ground.

"I know, I know. Let me show you." He says and his hand slides under the blanket.

My heart races and he smiles at me before pushing his fingers through the band of my panties.

"Hardin.. Zed is going to wake up." I say and he stops immediately.

"Zed?" He growls.

"Yeah.. that's where we are.." I look around as the room shifts from our apartment to Zed's and back once more.

"Hardin?" I say in confusion as he disappears.

I sit up and try to catch my breath. It felt so real. My chest rises and falls quickly, trying to catch my breath. My forehead is soaked with sweat and my chest is aching. Of course it was a dream, Hardin wouldn't come here to apologize to me.

Once I manage to calm myself down I lay back on the couch. I check my phone for any sign of Hardin attempting to contact me and of course there are none. I check my alarm again, I have classes tomorrow so Zed is going to take me back to Landon's early enough to have time to get ready and get to my classes on time.

When I try to close my eyes again my mind races, remembering the way dream Hardin pleaded with me to come home. Hearing it, dream or not, still kills me.

After tossing and turning on the small couch, I decide to do what I should have done in the beginning of the night.

When I push Zed's bedroom door open, I immediately hear his light snoring. He is shirtless and lying on his stomach with his arms folded under his head.

I'm waging an internal war with myself as he stirs in his sleep.

"Tessa?" He wakes up.

"Are you okay?" He sounds panicked as he sits up.

"Yeah.. I'm sorry for waking you up... I was just wondering if maybe I could sleep in here?" I ask timidly.

"Yeah, of course." He says, shifting so that there is plenty of room for me to lay down.

I try to ignore the fact that his bed doesn't have a sheet on it. He is a college student after all and not everyone is as neat as I am.

He slides a pillow across the mattress and I lay down next to him the distance between us less than a foot.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" He asks.

Do I?

"No, not tonight. I can't make out the mess that is inside of my head." I explain.

"Is there anything I can do?" His voice is so soft in the darkness.

"Scoot closer?" I request and he does just that.

I am nervous as I turn on my side to face him. His hand moves up to my cheek and he rubs his thumb back and forth. His touch is warm and gentle.

"I'm glad you're here with me, and not him." Zed whispers.

"Me too." I respond, having no clue if I mean that or  not.

Hardin's POV.

"Well I don't know what else to do. If I don't leave I won't be able to stay away from her." I explain.

"I don't know, you keep messing up." He shrugs.

"Real golden advice you've got there." I roll my eyes.

"Well it's two in the morning and I thought my mum was coming to get me, not you." Landon fires back.

He's developed quite the attitude since the night he attempted to assault me.

He threw a tantrum at the airport when it was me standing at the baggage claim waiting for him instead of his mum. Karen had agreed to allow me to pick her son up, I assume its because she didn't want to go out in the middle of the night, or maybe she pities me, I'm not sure but I'm glad she did.

Landon on the other hand was pissed off, claiming that I am the biggest asshole he's ever met and he refused to get in the car with me. It took me nearly twenty minutes to convince my lovely step-brother that riding with me had to be better than walking thirty miles.

"Well I'm here and I need you to tell me what I should do, I am split. Right down the fucking middle."

"Between what?" He asks.

"Between leaving here and going back home to ensure that she has the life that she deserves and driving over to Zed's and fucking murdering him."

"Where does she fit into either of those?"

"I would make her come with me after I murder him."

"That's the problem here. You think you can make her do whatever you want and look where that got you."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean.. " I know he's right.

"But she's with Zed, how did that even happen? I can't fucking see straight thinking about it." I groan, rubbing my temples.

"Well maybe I should drive then?"

Landon is so fucking annoying.

"When did they.. how?" I ask him, hoping he knows the answer.

"I don't know really, I know he went to Canal Street with her Friday."

"She went there? Again? With that creepy ass professor?"

"Yeah and then she..." He stops himself.

"She what?"

"Nothing." He lies.

"Tell me, now." I press.

"She's my best friend."

"And I love her so tell me."

He sighs but I know he's going to give in.

"She stayed the night with him Friday and hung out with him all day Saturday."

My vision literally goes black.

"What?"

"I told you I didn't want to tell you."

"So.. she's just.. so she's dating him?"

"I don't know if she's dating him but I do know that she laughed for the first time since you deserted her when I talked to her Saturday."

"She doesn't even know him." I can't believe this shit is happening.

"Not to be a jerk but you can't ignore the irony of the fact that you were so obsessed with her being with someone like her but she ends up seeing someone just like you." Landon says.

"He's nothing like me." I say and try to focus on the road before I end up breaking down in front of Landon.

I stay quiet the entire way back from the airport to my father's house.

"Did she cry at all?" I finally ask when I pull up to the driveway.

"Yes, for a week straight. You have no idea what you have done to her and you didn't even care. You still don't, you are still only thinking about yourself."

"How can you say that when I have done this for her? I have kept myself away so that she can move on. I don't deserve her, you told me that yourself remember?"

"I do, and I still mean it but I think she should be the one to decide what she deserves." He huffs and gets out of my car.