Songs for this chapter are:

Secrets- One Republic

Ours- Taylor Swift

 Through the dark- One Direction

Tessa's POV.

When my alarm sounds at seven, I have to force myself out of bed. I barely slept, I was tossing and turning all night. The last time I checked the time it was three in the morning and I wasn't sure if I had gotten any sleep or if I had been awake the entire time.

Hardin is asleep, his crossed arms rest on his stomach. He didn't hold me last night, not once. The only contact I was given consisted of his hands reaching for me in his sleep, just to make sure I was still there before they went back to his stomach. His mood change is somewhat expected, I know he didn't want to come here for the wedding but his high level of anxiety doesn't make much sense to me, especially since he refuses to talk to me about it. I would like to ask him just how he expected to deal with me moving here with him if he doesn't want me here for one weekend.

I brush my hand over his forehead, pushing the mass of hair away, and move down to touch the light stubble scattered across his jawline. His eyelids flutter and I quickly pull  away and stand to my feet. I don't want to wake him, his sleep wasn't the least bit peaceful either. I wish I knew what was haunting him, I wish he wouldn't have closed down so hastily. He revealed everything to me in the letter that he wrote me, and while most of the things inside were terrible mistakes of his, I have dealt with them and moved on. Nothing he has done in his past will cause any damage to our future. He needs to know this, he has to know this or it will never work.

The bathroom isn't hard to find and I wait patiently for the water to turn from brown to clear. The shower is loud and the water pressure is very hard, almost painful, but it does wonders working away the gathered tension on my back and shoulder muscles.

I'm fully dressed in a pair of jeans and a crème colored tank top, I hesitate before pulling on floral printed lace sweater. This sweater doesn't have buttons so Hardin can't demand that I do so and he's lucky I'm not wearing the tank top alone. It's spring now and here in Central London, it feels like it.

Anne didn't give me a specific time for our plans today, so I head downstairs to make a pot of coffee. An hour later, I return upstairs to grab my nook to occupy myself. Hardin has turned over onto his back and his face is set into a full frown. Without disturbing him, I quickly leave the room and find my way back to the kitchen table. Another hour passes and I'm relieved when Anne comes walking through the back door. Her brown hair is pulled back, just like mine, in a low bun and she's dressed in, what else, a track suit.

"I was hoping you would be awake, I wanted to give you some time to sleep in after such a long day yesterday," she smiles, "I'm ready when you are,"

I glance toward the narrow staircase one last time, hoping that Hardin will stroll down it with a smile and a kiss goodbye, that doesn't happen. I grab my purse and follow Anne out of the backdoor.

Hardin's POV.

When I reach for Tessa, she isn't in the bed. I don't know what time it is but the sun is too damn bright, pouring through the uncovered windows, trying to force me awake. I slept like shit all night and Tessa kept tossing and turning in her sleep. I was awake most of the night, keeping my distance from her restless body. I need to get a grip before I ruin this entire weekend for her, I just can't seem to shake my paranoia. Not after my mum having the nerve to bring Tessa around Susan Kingsley along.

I don't bother changing my clothes, I brush my teeth and toss some water into my hair. Tessa has taken a shower already, her toiletry bag is tucked away neatly in the otherwise empty cabinet.

When I get to the kitchen, the coffee pot is still hot and hallway full, a rinsed coffee mug rests on the counter. Tessa and my mum must have already left, I should have spoken up and kept her from going. Why didn't I? This day can go one of two ways, Susan could be a complete bitch and make Tessa's day hell, or she could keep her god damn mouth shut and everything could be fine.

What the fuck am I supposed to do all day while my mum has Tessa prancing around town? I could go find them, it wouldn't be hard, but my mum would probably be pissed and tomorrow is her wedding day. I promised Tess that I would be on my best behavior this weekend, even though I've already broken the promise I don't need to make it any worse.

 Tessa's POV.

"Your hair looks so beautiful," Anne reaches a newly manicured hand across the table to touch my hair.

"Thank you, I'm getting used to it," I smile, looking into the mirror directly behind our table. The woman at the spa was appalled that I had never dyed my hair before. After a few minutes of convincing, I agreed to darken my hair slightly, only at the top. The final color is a very light brown fading into my natural blonde toward the ends. The difference is barely noticeable and appears much more natural than I expected. The color isn't permanent, it will only last a month. I wasn't ready for a permanent change but the more I look at myself in the mirror, the more I like it.

The woman did wonders on my eyebrows too, plucking them into a perfect arch, and my nails and toes are painted a deep red. I declined Anne's offer to get a Brazilian wax, as much as I've considered getting one, it would be awkward to get one with Hardin's mother and I am fine with shaving for now. During the  walk to the car Anne teases me about my flimsy shoes, the same way her son does, and I hold back on taking a dig at her daily tracksuit wearing.

I stare out the window the entire drive, taking in every single home, building, market, and person on the street.

"This is the place," Anne says minutes later as she pulls her car into a covered parking lot nestled between two small buildings. I follow her to the entrance of the smaller of the two.

The entirety of the brick building is covered in moss and my inner Landon comes out, as mental references to The Hobbit pass through my mind. Landon would think the exact same thing if he were here and we would share a laugh while Hardin griped about how terrible the movies are and how they destroyed the original work of J.R.R Tolkien. Landon would argue back, as always, claiming that Hardin secretly loves the movies and Hardin would flip him off. Selfishly, I imagine a place where Hardin, Landon, and I could live close to one another, a place where Landon and Dakota could live in Seattle, maybe in the same building as Hardin and I. A place where one of the few people who actually care about me won't be moving across the country in a few weeks.

"It's pretty warm today, do you want to eat outside?" She asks, gesturing to the metal tables lined along the terrace.

"That would be fine," I smile, following her lead to sit at the last on in the row.

The waitress brings a pitcher of water to our table and places two glasses in front of Anne and I. Even the water looks better here, the pitcher is filled with ice and perfectly shaped lemon circles.

"We have one more joining.. she should be here any-" Anne's eyes search the sidewalks, "there she is!"  I turn to see a tall brunette bustling across the street, her hands waving in the air. Her floor length skirt and high heels are making it difficult for her to move as quickly as she appears to be trying.

"Susan!" Anne's face lights up at the woman's clumsy entrance.

"Anne darling, how are you?" Susan leans down to kiss both of Anne's cheeks before turning to me and doing the same. I'm awkward as I smile uncomfortably, unsure whether or not I should return the unfamiliar greeting.

The woman's eyes are a deep blue, making for the most beautiful contrast from her pale skin and dark hair. She pulls away before I can decide what to do. "You must be Theresa, I've heard so many wonderful things about you," she smiles and surprises me by taking both of my hands into hers. She gently squeezes my hands and gives me a bright smile before pulling out the chair next to me and taking a seat. 

"It's nice to meet you," I smile at her. I have no idea what to make of the woman, I know that I don't like the way her name effected Hardin last night but she seems so lovely, it's confusing.

"Have you been waiting long?" She asks and turns around to drape her purse over the back of her chair.

"No, we just arrived. We had a full morning at the spa," Anne flips her glossy brown hair over her shoulder.

"I can see that, the two of you smell like a bundle of flowers," Susan laughs, filling her glass with water. Her accent is elegant and much thicker than Hardin and Anne's.

Despite Hardin's mood change last night, I am in love with England, especially this village. I did my research before we arrived, the photographs on the internet do no any justice to the beauty of this timeless area. I'm in awe as I gaze around the street, how can something as simple as a cobblestone street lined with small cafes and shops be so enchanting, so intriguing?

"Are you ready to do your last fitting today?" Susan asks Anne. I continue to take in the surroundings, only vaguely listening to the women talk. My attention is set on the quaint and historical library across the street. I can only imagine the collection it holds.

"Yes, if it doesn't fit this time I will have to sue the shop owner," Anne laughs. I turn back to them and force myself to keep my gawking at bay until I can get Hardin to take me around to sightsee.

"Well seeing as I am the owner, I may have a problem with that," Susan's laugh is low and very charming. I have to keep reminding myself to be cautious of her.

My imagination begins to wonder as I stare at the beautiful woman. Has Hardin been with her intimately? He's mentioned having sexual encounters with older woman, quite a few of them, but I would never allow him to elaborate. Is Susan, with her wide blue eyes and long brown hair, one of them? I shudder at the thought. I sure hope not.

I ignore the pang of jealousy that comes with the thought and force myself to enjoy the mouth watering sandwich that the waitress has just placed in front of me.

"So Theresa, tell me about yourself," Susan stabs a piece of lettuce with her fork and brings it to her painted lips.

"You can call me Tessa," I nervously begin, "I'm finishing my freshman year at Washington State, I've just moved to Seattle," I glance at Anne who is now frowning, Hardin must not have told her about my move, or maybe he did and she's upset that he didn't move with me?

"Seattle seems to be a lovely city, I've never been to America," she scrunches her nose, "but my husband promises to take me this summer,"

"You should, it's nice," I stupidly remark. I'm sitting in a village from a storybook and I'm saying that America is nice, she would probably hate it. I'm nervous now, my hands are slightly shaky as I pull my cellphone out of my bag to send a text message to Hardin. Just a simple, I miss you.

The rest of lunch is filled with wedding talk and I can't help but like Susan. She just had her second wedding last summer, she planned it herself and she has no children, only one a niece and nephew. She owns the bridal shop that Anne chose her gown from, it's one of five in North Central London. Her husband owns and operates three of the most popular pubs, all within three miles of one another.

Susan's bridal shop is only a few blocks away from the restaurant so we decide to walk. It's warm today and the sun is bright, even the air seems more refreshing. Hardin still hasn't responded to my text message but somehow, I knew he wouldn't.

"Champagne?" Susan offers the moment we step through the door of the small shop. The space is minimal but it's decorated perfectly, old fashioned and charming, black and white covering every inch.

"Oh no, thank you," I smile. Anne takes her up on her offer and promises me that she will only have one glass. I almost tell her to have more, to enjoy herself, but I don't trust myself driving here, it feels odd in the passenger seat, I can't imagine driving. As I watch Anne laugh and joke with Susan, I can't help but think about how different Anne and Hardin really are. She's so bubbly and lively and Hardin is so.. well, Hardin. I know they don't have much of a relationship but I'd like to think that this weekend could change that, not completely, but hopefully Hardin will warm up to his mother on her wedding day.

"I'll be out in a minute, you can make yourself at home," Anne says to me before pulling the curtain closed on the main dressing room in the center of the shop. I take a seat on the plush, white couch and laugh when I hear her cursing at Susan for pinching her with the zipper. Maybe her and Hardin are more alike than I thought.

"Excuse me," a female voice interrupts my thoughts. I look up to meet the blue eyes of a young woman with a swollen pregnant belly.

"I'm sorry, have you seen Susan?" She asks, her eyes scan the space.

"She's in there," I point to the expansive curtain covering the dressing room that Anne disappeared into with her wedding dress only minutes ago.

"Thank you," she smiles, sighing in relief, "If she asks I arrived right at two," the girl smiles. She must work here. My eyes travel down to the name tag fastened to her white long sleeve shirt, "Natalie" it says.

I glance at the clock, it's five minutes past two, "your secret is safe with me," I assure her.

The curtain pulls back and Anne is revealed wearing her wedding gown. It's beautiful, she's absolutely beautiful in the simple, capped sleeve gown.

"Wow," the girl, Natalie, and I say at once.

Anne steps out, taking a look at herself in the full length mirror and wipes tears from her eyes.

"She does this every fitting, this is the third," Natalie smiles, I notice the swelling of tears in her eyes and know that mine look the same. Her hand is pressed on her belly.

"She's beautiful. Robin is a lucky man," I smile toward Hardin's mum. Her focus is still on her reflection in the mirror, I don't blame her.

"You know Anne?" The young woman politely asks.

"Yes," I turn to face her, "I'm.." Hardin and I are really going to have to discuss how introductions should go, "I'm with her son," I tell her and her eyes widen.

"Natalie," Susan's voice sounds across the small shop. Anne has paled, her eyes moving back and forth between Natalie and I. I feel like I'm missing something. When I look back at Natalie, I take in the deep blue of her eyes, her brown hair, her pale skin. Susan. Susan is this Natalie woman's mother? Natalie.

Holy shit. Natalie. The Natalie. The Natalie that haunted Hardin's conscious, the small bit that he has. Natalie that Hardin chewed up and spit back out.

"You're Natalie," I say with realization. She nods, keeping eye contact with me as Anne approaches us.

"Yes, I am." I can tell by her expression that she isn't sure how much I know about her and she's even more unsure what to say about it.

"You're her, you're Tessa," she says, I can see her thoughts coming together.

"I'm," I choke. I don't have the slightest idea what to say to her. Hardin told me that she is happy now, that she has forgiven him and started a life for herself but the empathy that I feel for her is deep. "I'm sorry,"

"I'm going to get some more champagne, Anne come along," Susan grabs Anne and gently leads her along. Anne turns her head, watching us, until she disappears through a door, gown and all.

"Sorry for what?" Natalie's eyes shine under the bright lights. I can't imagine this girl, the one in front of me, with my Hardin. She's so simple and beautiful, so unlike any of the girls from his past that I have encountered.

Nervous laughter falls from my lips, "I don't know," what exactly am I apologizing for? "for what he did to you, I know what he did,"

"You do?" surprise rules her voice as she continues to stare at me, trying to figure me out.

"I do," I reaffirm, suddenly feeling the need to explain, "he's different now, he regrets what he did to you," I tell her. It won't make up for anything but she must know what my Hardin isn't the same man that she once knew.

"I saw him," she reminds me. I know that, I just want her to hear it from me. "He was empty when I saw him on the street, he's doing better now?" I watch for judgment in her cloudy blue eyes, but there isn't a trace.

"Yes, he is." I say, trying not to look down at her stomach. She lifts her hand and a gold band rests on her ring finger. I'm so happy that she turned out this way. "He's done a lot of terrible things, and I know I'm way out of line here," I swallow, trying to keep my confidence, "but it was so important to him that you forgave him, it meant so much, so thank you."

I don't think that Hardin regretted what he did to her as much as he should have but her forgiveness did chip away some of the bricks he has spent years building and gave him a little peace.

"You must love him so much," she quietly responds after a long silence passes between us.

"I do, so very much," my eyes meet hers. We are connected, in some strange way, I feel a connection to this woman who Hardin hurt in such a terrible manner. I cannot begin to imagine how she felt, how deep her humiliation and pain caused by him actually was. She was abandoned by not only Hardin, but her family. I was just like her, a game to him, until he fell in love with me. That's the difference between me and this sweet, pregnant woman. He loves me and he wasn't capable of loving her.

I can't help the disgusting thought that passes next, the thought that if he had loved her, I wouldn't have him now and I am selfishly grateful that he didn't care for her the way he does me.

"Does he treat you well?" She surprises me by asking.

"Mostly," I can't help but smile at the terrible answer, "he is figuring it out," I finish with certainty.

"Well, that's all I can hope for," she returns my smile.

"What do you mean?"

"I have prayed and prayed that Hardin would find his salvation and it has finally happened," her smile grows and she touches her stomach again. "Everyone deserves a second chance, even the worst sinners of all, don't you think?"

I am in awe of her. I can't say that if Hardin had done what he did to her, to me, without so much as an apology, I would be sending positive thoughts out for him. I would probably be wishing his demise and here she is, this compassionate woman, only wanting the best for him after all he did to her.

"I do," I agree with her despite my failure to understand how she could be so forgiving.

"I know you think I'm nuts," Natalie lightly laughs, "but if it wasn't for Hardin, I wouldn't have met my Elijah and I wouldn't be only days away from giving birth to my first son,"

A shiver creeps up my spine at the first thought that comes to my mind. Hardin was a stepping stone in Natalie's life, a massive bump in the road on the way to the life she deserves. I don't want Hardin to be a stepping stone, a painful memory that I would be forced to forgive and come to terms with, I want Hardin to be my Elijah, my happy ending.

Sadness overtakes my fear as she brings my hand to her stomach, something I most likely will never have, along with the gold ring on her finger. I jump back at the movement against my hand and Natalie laughs.

"He's busy in there, I wish he'd come out already," she laughs again and I can't help but return my hand to feel the movement again. The baby in her belly kicks at my hand once more and I join in her happiness. I can't help it, it's contagious.

"When are you due?" I ask her, still mesmerized by the flutter against my palm.

"Two days ago. He's stubborn. I came back to work to stay on my feet in hopes that he will decide to join us," she speaks so tenderly of the unborn child.

Will I ever have this? Will I have the glow in my cheeks and the tenderness in my voice? Will I ever feel the flutter of my baby kicking inside of my belly? I force myself to blink away my self-pity. Nothing is certain yet.

Not from the doctor, but Hardin will never agree to father your children, my subconscious mocks me while taking scissors to an infant sized bonnet.

"Are you okay?" Natalie's voice breaks me free of my thoughts.

"Yes, sorry. I was just day-dreaming." I lie and pull my hand away from her belly.

"I'm really glad that I got to meet you while you're in town," she says just as Anne and Susan appear from the back room, a bouquet of flowers and a veil in Susan's hands. I glance at the clock, it's two thirty. I've been talking to Natalie long enough for Anne's cheeks to be slightly flushed and her glass empty.

"Give me five and I'll be ready, you may need to drive!" Anne laughs. I cringe at the thought but when I consider the other option, calling Hardin, driving doesn't seem too bad.

"Take care and congratulations again," I tell Natalie on my way out of the shop. Anne's dress is in my arms and she's a few feet behind me.

"You too, Tessa," Natalie smiles as the door closes.

"I can carry it if it's too heavy," Anne says once we are on the sidewalk, "I can go get the car. I only had one glass so I can drive just fine,"

"It's okay really," I'm terrified to drive her car.

"No really," she counters and takes her keys out of the front pocket of her jacket. "I can drive."

Hardin's POV.

I've paced the entire house over one hundred times, I've walked around this shitty neighborhood twice, I even called Landon. Now I'm stir crazy and Tessa isn't answering any of my calls. Where the hell are they? I look at my phone, it's after three. How long could this spa shit take?

How will she act when she returns? Will the reminder of how fucked up I am be too much for her?

Adrenaline courses through me when I hear my mum's car drag over the gravel driveway. Tessa gets out of the car first and walks to the back, pulling out a massive white bag. Something is different about her.

"I got it!" She calls to my mum as I open the screen door. I take the steps quickly and grab the stupid dress from her hands. Her hair, what did she do to her hair?

"I'm going next door to get Robin from his!" My mum yells to us.

"What the hell did you do to your hair?" I repeat my thought out loud. She frowns and I watch the gray of her eyes dim drastically. Shit. "I'm just asking, it looks nice," I tell her and take another look. It does look nice. She always looks beautiful.

"I had it dyed, you don't like it?" She follows me into the house. I toss the bag onto the couch. "Be careful! That's your mother's wedding gown!" Tessa shrieks, lifting the bottom of the bag from the floor. Her hair looks shinier than usual too and her eyebrows are different. Women do too much shit to impress men who can barely tell the difference.

"I don't have a problem with your hair, I was just surprised by it." I tell her, meaning it. It's not that different from the hair she left the house with, just a little darker toward the top but it's basically the same.

"Good, because it's my hair and I'll have it how I want it." She crosses her arms at her chest and a laugh bursts through my lips.

"What?" She glowers. She's serious.

"Nothing, I'm just finding your whole all-mighty-powerful-woman-thing, amusing, that's all." I continue my laughter.

"Well I'm glad you find it amusing because that's how it is," she challenges.

"Okay," I grab the sleeve of her sweater and pull her to me, ignoring the cleavage on display from the shirt underneath. I get the feeling this wouldn't be a good time to call her on it.

"I'm serious, no more caveman shit," she says, a small smile breaking her scowl and tugging at my chest.

"Okay, calm down. What the hell did my mum do to you?" I press my lips against her forehead, relief floods through me because she hasn't mentioned Susan or Natalie.  I'd much rather her be cursing me out over her dyed hair than my past.

"Nothing, you were rude about my hair and I figured it was a good time to warn you that things are changing around here," she bites her cheek to conceal a grin. She's teasing and testing and it's fucking adorable.

"Sure, sure, no more caveman," I roll my eyes and she pulls away.  "I'm serious, I get it," I pull her back to me.

"I missed you today," she sighs into my chest and I return my arms around her.

"You did?" I ask, wanting her to confirm it again. She hasn't been reminded of my past after all. Everything is fine. This weekend will be fine.

"Yeah, especially while I was getting a massage. Eduardo's hands were even bigger than yours," Tessa giggles. Her giggles turn into shrieks as I lift her over my shoulder and begin toward the stairs. I know for a fact she didn't get a damn massage by some man, if she had, she sure as hell wouldn't tell me while giggling.

See, I can lighten up on the cave man shit. Unless, of course, there is a real threat. Never mind that then, this is Tessa we are talking about and there is always someone trying to keep her from me.

The back door screeches open and my mum's voice calls our names through the house just as I reach the halfway point of the staircase. I groan and Tessa wiggles, begging me to put her down. I do as she says, only because I've missed her all day and my mum will be extra obnoxious if I show Tessa too much affection in front of her and the neighbor.

"We're coming!" Tessa responds when I put her back on her feet.

"Actually we aren't," I kiss the corner of her mouth and she smiles.

"You aren't," she wiggles her new eyebrows and I smack her ass as she rushes down the stairs.

Most of the weight on my chest has been lifted, I behaved like a fucking idiot last night for no reason. My mum wouldn't have purposely taken Tessa around Natalie, why was I so worried?

"What do you two want to do for dinner? I was thinking we could go to Zara, the four of us," my mum turns to her soon-to-be husband as soon as we enter the living room. Tessa nods even though she has no idea what Zara is.

"I hate Zara, it's too crowded and Tessa isn't going to like anything there," I rumble. Tessa would eat anything out of kindness but I know she wouldn't want to eat liver or pureed lamb for the first time in front of my mum in a situation where she would feel obligated to smile and pretend that it's the best thing she has ever eaten.

"Blues Kitchen then?" Robin suggests. Honestly, I don't want to go any fucking where.

 "Too loud," I lean my elbows onto the counter and pick at the edges where the lining is peeled back and chipping.

"Well you decide and let us know then," my mum says in exasperation. I know she's growing impatient with me but I'm here, aren't I?

Glancing at the clock, I nod. It's only five, we won't need to leave for another hour. "I'm going upstairs," I tell them.  

"We need to leave in ten minutes, you know how parking is here," my mum says. Great.

I hurry out of the living room. I hear Tessa following behind me.

"Hey," she grabs the sleeve of my shirt as I reach the hallway. I turn to face her.

"What?" I ask her, trying to keep my tone as soft as possible despite my irritation.

"What's going on with you? If something is bothering you, just tell me and we can fix it," she offers with a nervous smile.

"How was your lunch today?" She hasn't brought it up but I can't help but ask.

She catches on, "Oh," her eyes look down to the floor and I press my thumb under her chin to make her look at me, "It was nice,"

"What was said?" I ask her. It obviously wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but I can tell she's hesitant to discuss it.

"I met her, Natalie. I met her,"

My blood runs cold. "And?" I slightly bend my knees to get a better look at her face.

"She's lovely," Tessa says. I wait for her to frown or for her eyes to give away her anger, but nothing comes.

"She's lovely?" I repeat, completely and utterly confused by her response.

"Yes, she was so sweet and very pregnant," Tessa smiles.

"And Susan?" I hesitantly ask.

"Susan was very fun and nice as well,"

But.. but Susan hated me for what I did to her niece, "It was okay then?"

"Yes, Hardin. My day was fine, I missed you but my day was fine," she reaches her hand out to grab my shirt and bring me closer to her. She looks so fucking beautiful in the dim lighting of the hallway, "everything is fine, don't worry," she promises. My head rests on top of hers and she wraps her arms tightly around my waist.

She's comforting me? Tessa is comforting me, assuring that everything will be okay, after coming face-to-face with the girl that I nearly destroyed. She says it will be okay, will it?

"It never is though," I whisper, almost hoping she won't hear the words. If she did hear them, she chose not to respond.

"I don't want to go to dinner with them," I admit, breaking the silence between us. I really just want to take Tessa upstairs and lose myself in her, forget all the shit that has been torturing my mind all day, push all the ghosts and memories away and focus on her. I want her to be the only damn voice in my head, and burying myself into her right now will ensure that.

"We have to, it's your mother's wedding weekend. We don't have to stay long," she stretches to kiss the top of my cheek then her lips travel down to my jaw.

"I couldn't be more excited," I sarcastically complain.

"Come on," Tessa leads me back into the living room, her hand in mine but the moment we join my mum and Robin, I drop her hand.

"Well, lets go eat." I sigh.

Dinner is just as tedious as I expected. My mum is keeping Tessa busy, chatting her ear off about weddings and the small guest list. She fills her in in on the family that will be there, which isn't much from my mum's side, only one distant cousin will be attending since both of my mum's parents are dead and have been for years. Robin is quiet during the meal, like me, but he doesn't appear to be as bored as I am. He's watching my mum with an expression that makes me want to smack him in his head. It's sickening but somehow comforting, it's obvious that he loves her so I guess he's not so bad.

"You're my only shot at grandchildren, Tessa." my mum teases Tessa as Robin pays the bill. Tessa chokes on her water, and I pat at her back to aide her. She coughs a few times before apologizing, when she recovers her eyes are wide and embarrassed. She's overreacting but I'm sure she was caught off guard by the bold and out of line statement.

Sensing my anger, my mum says, "I'm teasing. I know you're still young," and childishly sticks her tongue out at me.

Young? It doesn't matter how fucking young we are, she doesn't need to be putting that shit in Tessa's head. We have already agreed, no children and my mum making Tessa feel guilty and obligated won't help anything. It will only cause another fight. Majority of our fights have been over children and marriage. Neither of which I want, or will ever want. I want Tessa, every single day for the rest of forever, but I won't be marrying her. Richard's warning from the other night creeps it's way into my head but I push it away.

After dinner, Robin heads to his house next door and my mum kisses him goodbye for the night. She's following that stupid tradition of the groom not being able to see the bride on her wedding night. I think she has forgotten that this isn't her first rodeo, those stupid superstitions don't apply the second time around.

As much as I'm dying to take Tessa on my old bed, I can't with my mum in the house. This shitty house has no sound guard, nothing. I can literally hear my mum each time she rolls over on her creaky bed in the next room.

"I should have booked a hotel," I whine as Tessa undresses. I wish she would sleep in a parka so I wouldn't be tormented all night by her half naked body. She slips my t-shirt over her head and I can't help but stare at the curve of her tits underneath the fabric, the slope of her full hips, the way her thick thighs almost fill the bottom of my shirt so it hugs to her skin. I'm glad the shirt isn't too loose on her, it wouldn't look nearly as fucking good. It wouldn't make me this hard, and it sure as hell wouldn't make this night so damn long.

"Come here, baby," I hold my arms open to her and she lays her head on my chest. I want to tell her how much it means to me that she handled the Natalie situation so well but I can't find the right words. I think she knows, she has to know how terrified I was that something would come between us.

Within minutes she's asleep, clinging onto me and the words flow freely as I run my fingers over her hair, "you're everything to me," I finish the short statement.

..

I wake up sweating. Tessa is still latched onto me and I can barely breath through the thick air. It's too hot in this house. My mum must have turned the damn heat on. It's spring now, there's no need. I unhook Tessa's limbs from around my body and wipe her sweat soaked hair away from her forehead before walking downstairs to check the thermostat.

I'm half asleep when I turn the corner to the kitchen, I rub my eyes and even blink to clear the distorted image in front of me. It's still there, they are still there no matter how many times I blink.

My mum is sitting on top of the counter, her thighs parted. A man stands between her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and her hands are buried into his blonde hair. His mouth is on hers, or hers on his, I don't fucking know but I do know that the man isn't Robin, it's fucking Christian Vance.

(please vote for a faster update;) love you! and thank you all for the kind words after my author's note last chapter, you guys are the best readers I could ever ask for<3)