Songs for this chapter are:

 Nothing left to lose- Mat Kearney

Move together- James Bay

Sweetheart what have you done to us- Keaton Henson

Treacherous- Taylor Swift

SEPTEMBER.

Tessa's POV.

"You're sure you're okay, right? Remember Sophia said you could stay with her for the weekend if you aren't comfortable." Landon says to me, placing a stack of clean, folded towels into the closet. His apartment is small and the closet space is hardly existent, but it works for him. Well, us. Every time I remind Landon that this is his apartment, not mine, he In turn, reminds me that I am living here now, in this apartment, in New York City.

"It's okay, really. I have to work most of the weekend anyway." I nod at him, disguising the burning anxiety at the weekend ahead. It's the second Friday in September and Hardin's flight will be landing any minute. I didn't ask why he was coming, I couldn't bring myself to, and when Landon awkwardly brought up him wanting to stay here, I just nodded and forced a smile.

"He's taking a cab from Newark, so he will be here in about an hour. I feel like this isn't going to go well, I shouldn't have agreed to it." Landon runs his hand over his chin, before burying his face in his hands. 

I reach up and pull them away form his face, "It's fine. I'm a big girl, I can handle a little Hardin Scott." I tease, knowing that I'm nervous as heck but the comfort of work and knowing that Sophia is just down the block, will get me through the weekend.

"Will you-know-who be around this weekend? I don't know how that will go over with Hardin.." Landon looks panicked, like he is going to cry or scream at any moment. 

"No, he works all weekend too," I walk over to the couch and lift my apron from the pile of clean clothes. Living with Landon is easy, despite his recent relationship problems, and he loves to clean so we get along well that way.

Our friendship bounced back quickly and we haven't had an awkward moment since I arrived four weeks ago. I spent the summer with my mother, her boyfriend David, and his daughter Heather. I text and even learned to Skype, with Landon and spent my days planning for the move.

It was one of those summers where you fall asleep on a June night and wake up to an August morning. It went too quickly, and a lot of my time was spent being reminded of Hardin. David rented a cabin for a week during July and we ended up less than five miles away from the Scott' cabin where I went with Hardin and his family.

I walked down the same streets, this time with David's daughter, and she stopped at every block to pick a flower for me. We ate at the same restaurant that I had one of the most tense nights of my life and we even had the same server, Robert. I was surprised when he told me that he was also moving to New York for medical school. He was offered a significantly larger grant to attend New York University than his previous choice in Seattle, so he took it.

We exchanged phone numbers and text messaged during the summer and we both moved to the city around the same time. He arrived a week before me and now he works at the same place that I do. He also works almost as much me, for now the next two weeks until he starts school full-time. I would be doing the same but unfortunately, I was too late to get into the fall semester at NYU.

Ken advised me to wait it out, at least until the Spring semester to attend another college. He said that I shouldn't bounce back and forth again, it will only muddy my transcripts and New York University is picky as it is. I'm okay with taking a break, despite the fact that I will have to work harder to catch up, because I am going to use the time working and attempt to learn my way around the city.

Hardin and I have only spoken a few times since he left his graduation without saying goodbye to me. He text me a few times here and there and has sent some emails. The emails were stiff, awkward, and formal, so I only responded to a few of them.

"Do you guys have any plans for the weekend?" I ask Landon while tying the strings of my apron around my waist.

"Not that I know of. I think he's just sleeping here and leaving Monday afternoon,"

"Okay. I am working a double shift today, so don't wait up for me. I won't be home until at least two."

 Landon sighs, "I really wish you wouldn't work so much. You don't have to help pay anything, I got enough money from grants and you know Ken refuses to let me pay for much."

I give Landon my sweetest smile and pull my hair back into a low ponytail, resting just above the collar of my black button up shirt. "I won't go over this with you again." I shake my head and tuck my shirt into my work pants.

My work uniform isn't too bad, a black button up, black pants, and black shoes. The only part of  the ensemble that bothers me is the neon green tie I have to wear. It took me two weeks to get used to the look but I was so grateful that Sophia got me a waitressing job at such an upscale restaurant, the color of the tie didn't matter. She's the head pastry chef at Lookout, a newly opened and highly over priced, modern restaurant in Manhattan. I stay out of her and Landon's... friendship? Especially after meeting her roommates, one of whom I had already met back in Washington. Landon and I seem to have the same sort of "it's a really, really small world" luck.

"Text me when you're off then?" Landon reaches for my keys on the hook and places them into my hand. I agree, assuring him that Hardin's arrival isn't going to upset me, and with that, I leave for work.

I don't mind the twenty minute walk each way, I am still learning my way through the massive city and each time I get lost in the crowds of busy people, somehow I feel more connected to the city. The noise of the streets, the constant voices, sirens, horns blaring, only kept me up for the first week. Now it's almost calming the way I just sort of blend into the masses.

People-watching in New York is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Everyone seems so important, so official, and I love guessing at their life stories, where they came from, why they are here. I don't know how long I plan to stay here, not permanently, but I like it here for now.

The best, and honestly, the only good thing about being alone is that I am free to live where I want to without an argument. Who am I kidding? I would take those arguments one thousand times over to have him here with me now.

Stop this. I need to stop thinking this way, I'm happy now and he has clearly made a life for himself that doesn't involve me. I'm okay with that, I just want him to be happy, that's all. I loved seeing him with his new friends at his graduation, I loved the way he was so collected, so... happy.

I just hated the way he walked off when I took too long coming back from the restroom. I left my phone on the counter and spent a half an hour trying to find the lost and found, or a guard to help me find it. When I did, it was dead. I tried to find Hardin at the spot where I left him, but he was gone. Ken said he left with his friends and something clicked then, this was over.

Do I wish he would have come back for me? Of course, but he didn't, and I can't live my life wishing that he did.

I purposely picked up extra shifts this weekend, wanting to keep myself as busy as possible and keep my time at the apartment as minimal as I can. Due to the tension and bickering between Sophia and her roommates, I am going to try my hardest to avoid staying there but I certainly will if things are too awkward with Hardin.

Sophia and I have become closer but I try to stay out of her and Landon's.. situation. I am too biased due to my friendship with Landon, and honestly, I don't think I want to hear the details.

I look down at my phone to check the time while waiting at a crosswalk two blocks from Lookout and nearly walk straight into Robert. His hands reach out and stop me before I collide with his body and the signal changes to 'walk'.

"Distracted?" He smiles while adjusting his own lime-green tie. It looks much better on him than it does on me and his blonde hair is messy, sticking straight up in some places. I debate whether or not to discuss Hardin with him and stay silent while we cross the street with a group of teenage girls, all giggling and smiling at Robert. I don't blame them, he's very handsome.

"A little," I finally admit as we turn the corner.

"He's coming today, right?" Robert holds the door open for me and I step into the darkly lit restaurant. Despite the fact that it's barely noon, the inside of Lookout is so dark that it takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the difference when I walk inside from a sunny afternoon. I follow him back to the break room where I store my purse in a small locker and he slides his cell phone onto the top shelf.

"Yes." I close the door to the locker and lean my back against it.

"You know I'm okay with you talking about him to me. I don't exactly love the guy, but you can talk to me about anything." Robert says, reaching his hand out to touch my elbow.

"I know," I sigh. "I appreciate that so much, I just don't think it's a good idea to open that drawer. I've had it closed too long." I laugh and hope that it comes out more authentic than it felt. I lead the way out of the break room and Robert follows close behind.

He smiles and looks up at the clock hanging on the wall. If it wasn't glowing red with deep blue numbers, I don't think I would be able to read the time in the hallway. The hallways are the darkest part of the restaurant and the kitchen and break room are the only areas that have normal lighting.

My shift begins normally and the hours tick by quickly when the lunch crowd leaves and the dinner crowd begins to pour in. I've gotten myself to the point where I had almost been able to forget about Hardin's arrival for five minutes straight, when Robert walks over with a worried look on his face.

"They are here. Landon and Hardin," he says. His hands grab the hem of his apron and he wipes the cloth across his forehead. "They are requesting to sit in your section."

I don't panic the way I had assumed that I would, instead, I simply follow Robert toward the lobby and search for Landon. I force my eyes to only search for Landon and his plaid shirt, not Hardin. Nervously, I glance around the area, looking over face after face, none of them Landon's.

"Tess," a hand touches my arm and I jump back from the contact. It's that voice, that deep, accented voice that I have played in my head for months and months. "Tessa?" Hardin touches me again, this time his hand wraps around my wrist, the way it always used to.

I don't want to turn and face him, well, I do, but I'm terrified. I'm terrified to see him, to see the face that has been permanently branded into my mind, never to be altered or diluted by time the way that I had assumed it would be. His face, his smile, will always be as vivid as it has been since the first time I saw him.

I quickly snap out of my trance and turn around. In the mere second that I have to plan, I try to focus on finding Landon's eyes before Hardin's but it's impossible. It's impossible to miss those eyes, those green eyes that could never be duplicated.

"Hi," Hardin smiles at me and I stand there, unable to speak for a few seconds. I need to get it together.

"Hi,"

"Hardin wanted to come here." Landon announces. I hear his voice but my eyes don't seem to want to cooperate with my mind. Hardin is staring at me just the same, his fingers still pressing against the skin on my wrist. I should pull away before the pounding of my pulse gives away my reaction to seeing him after three months.

"We don't have to stay and eat here if you are busy," Landon adds.

"No, it's okay. Really," I assure my best friend. I know what he's thinking, I know he feels guilty and worried that bringing Hardin here will ruin the new Tessa. The Tessa who laughs and makes jokes, the Tessa who has become her own person, maybe even stubbornly so. That won't happen though, I have myself in check, under control, totally cool and collected. Really.

I gently pull my wrist from Hardin's soft grip and grab two menus from the board. "How long have you worked here?" Hardin walks next to me on the way to their table. He's dressed the same way he always was, same black t-shirt, same tight black jeans. This pair has a small tear on the knee, and his boots are the same pair he used to wear.

I have to keep reminding myself that it has only five months since I left for my mother's house. It feels like so much more time, years even, have passed.

"Only three weeks."

 "Landon said you've been here since noon today?" He asks and I nod.

I gesture to a small booth against the back wall and Hardin slides in on one side and Landon on the other. "When will you be off?"

 "We close at one, so I usually get home around two when I work a closing shift." I set the menus in front of the two men and Hardin reaches for my wrist again. I pull back this time, pretending not to notice his intentions.

"Two in the morning?" He gapes, mouth open in a dramatic way.

"Yes, in the morning. She works like this everyday almost." Landon says. I shoot him a glare, wishing he would have kept that to himself, then I wonder why I feel that way. It shouldn't matter to Hardin how many hours I spend here.

Hardin doesn't say much after that, he just stares at the menu, points to the lamb ravioli and orders a water to drink. Landon orders the usual, asking if Sophia is busy in the kitchen, and gives me more "I'm sorry" smiles than necessary.

My next table keeps me busy, the woman is drunk and can't decide what she wants to eat, and her husband is too busy on his phone to pay attention. I'm actually grateful for the drunk wife sending her food back three times, it makes it easier to only stop by Landon and Hardin's table to fill their drinks and clear their plates. Sophia wrote off their tab, and Hardin left me a ridiculous tip that I forced Landon to take and return to him when they get back to the apartment.

Hardin's POV.

"Fuck," I cruse when I step on something plastic. The apartment is dark, too damn dark to see shit and I have to piss. Sleeping on the couch while knowing Tessa's closet that she likes to claim as a room, is empty, drives me fucking crazy. I hate the idea of her walking through the city alone in the middle of the damn night.

I scolded Landon for giving her the tiniest of the two rooms but he swears that Tessa won't allow him to change the arrangement. Go figure. It doesn't surprise me that she's still as stubborn as she always has been. Another example of this, she works until two in the morning.

I should have thought about this sooner, I should have been waiting outside that ridiculous place that she works since midnight. I grab my phone from the couch and check the time. It's only one now, I can take a cab and get there in less than ten minutes, even in Friday night traffic.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm standing outside of Tessa's work, waiting for her. I should text her but I don't want to give her the chance to tell me no, especially since I'm already here.

People pass on the streets, mostly men, and I start to wonder if she's safe here, leaving work alone at such a late hour. During my analysis of her safety, I hear her laugh. The doors to the restaurant open and she walks out, laughing and covering her mouth with her hand. A man is next to her, holding the door for her. He looks familiar, too familiar..

Who the hell is this guy? I swear I've seen him before but I can't remember where I've seen the waiter.. the waiter. How the hell is that possible? What the hell is this guy doing in New York?

Tessa leans into him, still laughing, and I take a step forward, out of the dark and Tessa's eyes meet mine immediately.

"Hardin? What are you doing?" Her voice is loud.

"I came to make sure you got home okay."

Tessa and the waiter share a look before he nods and shrugs his shoulders. "Text me when you get home," he says, brushing his hand across hers.

Months of working out to relieve anger, months of talking shit with Dr. Tran to control my emotions, haven't and could never, prepare me for this. I have had small thoughts about Tessa having a boyfriend but I wasn't excepting or prepared to actually have to deal with it.

"I'll hail a cab," I tell her, talking myself down inside of my head.

What did I think? That she would still be figuring shit out? Yeah, I guess I did.

"I usually walk." She says.

"You walk? Alone?" I regret asking the second part of that question, the moment it leaves my fucking mouth.

"He walks you home," I conclude and she winces.

"Only the shifts we work together."

"How long have you been dating him?"

"What?" She asks, stopping us before we even make it around the corner. "We aren't dating," she creases her brows.

"Seems like it," I shrug, trying my fucking hardest to not be a sulking asshole about it.

"We aren't. We spend time together but I'm not dating, at all."

"He wants to."

"I don't. Not yet," she stares down at her feet while we cross the street. There aren't nearly as many people out as earlier today, but the streets are still far from empty.

"Not yet? You haven't dated anyone?" I ask her, praying for the answer that I want to hear.

"No, I don't intend to date for a while." I feel her eyes on me when she adds, "Are you? Dating anyone, I mean?"

"No. I don't date." I smile at her, hoping she catches on to my joke. The relief I feel to find out that she hasn't been dating is beyond words.

She smiling now, "I've heard that before."

"I'm a consecutive guy, remember?"

She laughs but doesn't add any commentary as we walk block after block. I need to talk to her about walking home this late. I have spent night after night, week after week, trying to imagine how she's living her life here. Working long days as a waitress and walking home in the darkness of New York City, was not something that crossed my mind.

"Why are you working as a waitress?" I have to ask her.

"Sophia got me the job, it's a really nice place and I make more money than you would think."

"More money than you would at Vance?" I ask her, knowing the answer.

"I don't mind it. It keeps me busy."

"Vance told me you didn't even ask for a recommendation and you know he's planning on opening something here too."

She is staring down the street now, mindlessly gazing into traffic. "I know but I want to do something on my own. I like my job, for now, until I can get into NYU."

"You haven't gotten into NYU yet?" I can't hide my surprise. Why hasn't anyone told me any of this? I force Landon to give me updates on Tessa's life but apparently he likes to leave out the important shit.

"No, but I am hoping for the Spring semester." She reaches her hand into her bag and pulls out a set of keys. We must be close.

"You're okay with that?" I ask her, surprised by the calm tone of her voice.

"Yeah, I'm only nineteen. It will be fine." She shrugs her shoulders and I think my heart stops. "It's not ideal, but I have time to make up for it. I could always take double courses and maybe even graduate early like you did."

I don't really know what to say about this.. calm and non-panicked Tessa, but I'm more than happy to be around her.

"Yeah I suppose you could.." Before I can finish, a man steps out in front of us. His face is covered in dirt and overgrown facial hair. Instinctively, I step in front of Tessa.

"Hey girly," the man says. My stance shifts from paranoid to protective and I stand up straight, waiting for this asshole to try something.

"Hey, Joe. How are you tonight?" Tessa gently nudges me out of the way and pulls a small bag from her purse.

"I'm good darling. What did you bring me?" The man smiles and reaches his hand out for the bag. I force myself to stay back, but not too far.

"Some fries and those sliders that you love." She smiles at the man and he grins back, unrolling the paper bag and lifting it to his face to smell the contents.

"You're too good to me," he pushes a dirt stained hand into the bag and pulls out a handful of fries to shove into his mouth. "Want some?" He asks, with one hanging from his mouth.

"No," Tessa giggles, waving her hand in front of her. "You enjoy your dinner Joe. I'll see you tomorrow." She smiles and waves for me to follow her around the corner and she punches in her code to Landon's apartment building.

"How do you know that guy?" I ask her. She stops in front of the row of mailboxes lining the lobby of the building and uses her keys to open it while I wait for her response.

"He lives there, on that corner. He's there each night and so when we have leftovers in the kitchen, I try and bring them to him."

"Is that safe?" I ask her, looking behind us as we walk down the empty hall.

"Yes," she laughs. "I'm not as fragile as I used to be." Her smile is genuine, not at all offended, and I don't know what to say.

When we walk back into the apartment, Tessa steps out of her shoes and pulls the tie from her neck. I haven't allowed myself too many glances at her body. I have tried to keep my eyes on her face, her hair, hell, even her ears, but now, as she unbuttons the black shirt, revealing only a tank top underneath, I am distracted and I can't seem to remember why I haven't taken the time to admire such a beautiful thing. Her fucking body is the most perfect, most fucking mouth watering body, and the curve of her hips is something I fantasize about daily.

"I'm going to get to bed, I have an early shift tomorrow." She calls from the kitchen.

"You work tomorrow too?" I join her in the kitchen and wait as she finishes her glass of water.

"Yeah, I work all day."

"Why?" I ask her.

She sighs, "well, I have bills to pay." She's lying.

"And?" I press.

"And, maybe I was trying to avoid you." She admits.

"You've been avoiding me long enough, don't you think?" I raise a brow at her and she swallows.

"I wasn't avoiding you. You barely reach out to me anymore."

"That's because you avoid me."

She walks past me, pulling her hair from it's ponytail as she does. "I didn't know what to say. I was pretty hurt by you leaving the graduation and-"

"You left. Not me." I interrupt her.

"What?" She turns around, stopping her steps.

"You left the graduation, I only left after looking for you for thirty minutes."

"I looked for you." She looks offended. "I did. I never would have just left your graduation."

"Okay, well I seem to remember a different story there, but there is no point in arguing over it now."

Her eyes lower and she seems to agree with me. "You're right." She lifts her empty glass to refill it under the stream of water.

"Look at us, not fighting and shit." I tease her. She leans her elbow onto the counter and shuts the faucet off.

"And shit," she repeats with a smile.

"And shit."

We both laugh and continue to stare at one another.

"This isn't as awkward as I thought it would be." Tessa says. She's untying her apron, her fingers stuck on the knot.

"Need help?" I ask her.

"No." Her answer comes to quickly and she tugs at the strings again.

"You're sure?"  

After a few more minutes of struggling, she finally scowls and turns around to give me access to her back. Within a few seconds, I've untangled the strings and she's counting her tip money on the counter.

"Why won't you get another internship? You're more than a waitress."

"There is nothing wrong with being a waitress, and this isn't the end goal for me. I'm working as a waitress now because I don't mind it and-"

"And because you don't want to ask Vance for help." Her eyes widen. "You act like I don't know you, Tess." I shake my head, pushing my hair back.

"It's not only that, I just like that this job is mine. He would have to pull some serious strings to get me an internship in New York City, I'm not even actively enrolled in college for a few months."

"Sophia helped you get your job," I point out. I just want to hear her say the truth. "You wanted something that wasn't tied to me, am I correct?"

She takes a few breathes, looking everywhere in the room, except at me. "Yes, you are correct."

We stand quietly, looking at each other from across the tiny kitchen. After a few seconds, she stands up straight and gathers her apron and water glass. "I need to go to bed. I have to work all day tomorrow and it's late."

"Call in." I casually suggest, even though I want to demand it.

"I can't just call in." She lies.

"Yes you can."

"I've never missed a day."

"You've only been there three weeks. You haven't had time to miss a day and really, it's what people do on a Saturday in New York, they call into work and spend time with better company."

"And you are this said better company?" A playful smile tugs at the corners of her full lips.

"Of course," I wave my hands over my torso to prove my point.

She regards me for a moment and I can tell she's actually considering taking the day off.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't. I can't risk the shift not being covered, it will make me look bad and I need this job." She frowns, all playfulness is gone now, it's been replaced by overthinking.

I almost tell her that she doesn't actually need the job, that what she needs to do is pack her shit and come back to Seattle with me, but I bite my tongue. Dr. Tran says control is a negative factor in our relationship and I "need to find the balance between control and guidance".

Dr. Tran really pisses me off.

"I get it." I shrug, mentally cursing Dr. Tran out for a few moments before I smile at Tessa. "I'll let you go to bed then."

With that, she leaves me alone in the kitchen and I sulk there, still telling that damn doctor off inside of my head.

Tessa's POV.

In my dreams Hardin's voice is there, begging me to stop. Begging me to stop ? What?

My eyes open and I sit up in bed, "Stop." His voice sounds again. It takes me a moment to realize the sound is not one of my dreams, it's Hardin's actual voice.

I rush out of my room and down the hall to the living room where Hardin is talking in his sleep. He's not yelling or thrashing the way he used to, but his voice is pleading and when he says, "Please, stop," my heart sinks.

"Hardin, wake up. Please, wake up." I calmly say, running my fingers over his clammy skin.

His eyes pop open and his hands lift to touch my face. He's disoriented when he sits up and pulls me onto his lap. I don't fight it, I couldn't possibly.

Silent seconds pass by before he rests his head against my chest. "How often?" I ask him, my heart twisted and aching for him.

"Only about once a week or so. I take pills for them now but on nights like tonight, it was too late to take them."

"I'm sorry," I force myself to forget that we haven't seen each other in months. I don't think about the way we have already slipped back into touching one another. I don't care though, I would never turn away from comforting him, no matter the circumstance.

"Don't be. I'm fine." He nuzzles further into my neck and wraps both arms around my waist. "I'm sorry that I woke you."

"Don't be." I repeat his words and lean into the back of the couch.

"I've missed you," he yawns, drawing my body into his chest. He lays back, bringing me with him and I let him.  

"Me too," I allow myself to admit.

I feel his lips press against my forehead and I shiver, basking in the warmth and familiarity of his lips on my skin.

It doesn't make sense to me how it could be this easy, this natural to find myself in Hardin's arms again.

"I love how real this is," he whispers. "It's never going to go away, you know that don't you?"

"We have different lives now," I try and grasp for a sliver of logic.

"I'm still waiting for you to see it, that's all."

"See what?" I ask him. When he doesn't respond, I look up at him to find his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted in sleep.

..

I wake to the sound of the coffee pot beeping in the kitchen. Hardin's face is the first thing I see when my eyes open and I'm not sure how to feel about it.

I detach my body from his, lifting his arms off of my waist and scramble to my feet. Landon walks out from the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee between his hands. An unmistakable smile is painted across his face.

"What?" I ask, stretching my arms. I haven't shared a bed, or couch, with anyone since Hardin. One night Robert stayed over because he locked himself out of his apartment but he slept on the couch and I slept in my bed.

"Nothing," Landon's smile grows and he tries to hide it by taking a drink of steaming coffee.

I roll my eyes at him, fighting a smile, and walk to my room to grab my phone. I panic when the time reads eleven-thirty, I haven't slept this late since I moved here and now I don't have time to take a shower before I leave for work.

I pour a cup of coffee and place it inside the freezer to cool while I brush my teeth, wash my face, and get dressed. I've become a huge fan of iced coffee but I hate paying the overpriced fee at the coffee shops for them to only dump ice into the cup. Mine tastes just about the same, Landon agrees.

Hardin is still asleep when I leave, and I find myself leaning over him, ready to kiss him goodbye. What is wrong with me?

Landon walks into the room at the right time, stopping my insane behavior. The walk to work is filled with my thoughts of Hardin, how it felt to sleep in his arms, how comforting it was to wake up on his chest. I'm confused, as I always am, and rushed to make it to work on time.

Robert is in the break room, opening my locker when I walk inside. "I'm late, did they notice?" I ask, rushing to throw my purse in and closing it.

"No, you're only five minutes late. How was your night?" He asks, blue eyes shining with curiosity.

"It was okay." I shrug. I know how Robert feels about me and it's not fair of me to talk about Hardin with him, whether he encourages it or not.

"Okay, huh?" He smiles.

"Better than I thought," I stick with short answers.

"It's okay Tessa. I know how you feel about him." He says, touching my shoulder with his hand. "I've known since that first time I met you."

I am emotional now, wishing Robert wasn't so kind, wishing Hardin wasn't in New York for the weekend, then taking it back and wishing he would stay longer. Robert doesn't ask anymore questions and we are so busy at work that I don't have time to think about anything else except serving food and drinks until one in the morning. Even my breaks go too quickly, only allowing me enough time to shovel down a plate of meatballs and queso.

When closing comes, I'm the last one out. I assured Robert that I would be fine if he left early to get drinks with the other servers. I have a feeling that when I walk out of the restaurant, Hardin will be waiting.

I am right, he is leaning against the wall outside when I step out onto the sidewalk.

"You didn't tell me that Delilah and Sarah are roommates," is the first sentence out of his mouth. He's smiling, that smile where his nose turns up at the end because his smile is so big.

"Yeah, it's a mess." I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

Hardin laughs. "That is some good shit though, what are the fucking odds of that?" He lifts his hand to his chest and his laughter shakes his body. "This is some straight up soap opera shit."

"Who are you telling? I have to deal with it. Poor Landon though, you should have seen his face when we met Sophia and her friends for drinks the night he found out. He almost fell out of the chair."

"This is too much," Hardin chuckles.

"Don't laugh about it in front of Landon, he's having a hard time dealing with the two of them."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." He rolls his eyes.

I change the subject, "May I ask what you are doing in New York in the first place?" The wind is picking up now and Hardin's long hair is blowing around his head. I can't help but point up at it and laugh.

"My hair looks better like this, and gives women more to pull." He teases but the words strike straight through me.

"Oh," I laugh along, not wanting him to know that my head is spinning and my chest is aching at the thought of anyone else touching him.

"Hey," he reaches for me, turns me around to look at him as if we were alone on the sidewalk. "I was joking, a shitty, stupid, really fucking dumb, joke."

"It's okay, I'm okay." I smile up at him, tucking my blowing hair behind my ear.

"You may be all independent and fearless enough to hang out with homeless men, but you're still a shit liar." He calls me out.

I try to keep the mood light, "Hey, don't go talking about Joe. He's my friend." I stick my tongue out at him as we pass a couple making out on a bench.

"Five bucks says he has his hand up her skirt in less than two minutes." Hardin remarks, loud enough for them to hear him. I playfully shove at his shoulder and he wraps an arm around my waist.

"Don't get too touchy, Joe will ask questions." I wiggle my brows at him and he bursts into laughter.

"What is it with you and homeless men?"

Thoughts of my father fill my mind and I stop laughing for a beat. "Shit, I didn't mean it like that." Hardin says.

I hold my hand up and smile, "No, it's okay. Really, let's just hope Joe doesn't turn out to be my uncle." I joke.

Hardin stares at me as if I've grown another set of eyes and I laugh at him. "I'm fine! I can take a joke now, I have learned not to take myself so seriously."

He seems pleased with that and he even smiles at Joe when I hand him his bag full of catfish and hush puppies. The apartment is dark when we arrive, Landon has most likely been asleep for a few hours.

"Have you eaten?" I ask Hardin when he follows me into the kitchen.

"No, actually I haven't. I was going to steal that bag of food for Joe but decided against it." Hardin sits down at the two person table and lifts his elbows onto the surface.

"I can make you something?" I offer. "I'm hungry too."

Twenty minutes later, I'm dipping my finger into the vodka sauce, testing the flavor. "Are you going to share?" Hardin asks from behind me.

"It wouldn't be the first time I have eaten something off of your finger." He teases with a smirk. "The Icing was one of my favorite flavors of Tessa."

"You remember that?" I ask him, offering him some sauce on a spoon.

"I remember everything, Tessa. Well, everything that I wasn't too drunk or high during." A frown takes over his teasing smile and I dip my finger onto the spoon and offer it to Hardin. It does the job, and his smile returns.

His tongue is warm on my finger and his eyes are pouring into mine when he licks the sauce from the tip of my index. He pulls my finger between his lips and sucks again, long after the sauce is gone.

"I was going to talk to you about something, it involves what you said about me remembering things."

My finger is still on his lips, distracting me. "Right now?"

"Soon, doesn't have to be tonight." He whispers, his tongue darting out to wet the tip of my finger.

"What are we doing?" I ask him.

"You've asked me that too many times," he smiles, taking another step.

"We haven't seen each other in so long, this isn't a good idea." I say, not meaning a damn word of it.

"I've missed you and I've been waiting for you to miss you too." His hand is on my hip, resting there, pressing against the fabric of my work shirt.

"I don't like seeing you in all black, it doesn't suit you," he leans his head down and nudges my jaw with his nose.

My fingers fumble with the buttons on my shirt, clumsily slipping over the small plastic beads. "I'm happy that you didn't show up in another color," I tell him.

He smiles against my cheek, "I haven't changed much, Tess. Just got a few doctors, and I hit the gym more."

"You still don't drink?" I ask, dropping my shirt to the floor behind us and he backs me into the counter.

"A little, yes. Usually only wine or a light beer. But no, I'm never going to chug a bottle of vodka again."

My skin is on fire, my brain is slowly trying to make sense of how we got here, all these months later, with my hands waiting for permission to remove his shirt. He seems to read my thoughts and he lifts my hands in his and pushes them into the thin material of his t-shirt.

"It's our anniversary month you know?" I pull Hardin's shirt over his head and take in the sight of his bare chest. My eyes scan over the area, looking for new designs and I'm happy to find only the leaves, ferns, I believe Hardin called them.

"We don't have an anniversary month, you insane man." I find myself trying to get a glimpse at his back and I'm embarrassed when he catches on and turns around.

"Yes we do." Hardin disagrees. "Still only yours on my back." He briefly explains while I stare at the newly developed muscles covering his shoulders and back.

"I'm glad." I quietly admit, my mouth dry.

"Have you went wild and gotten yourself a tattoo yet?" His eyes are full of amusement when he asks the question.

"No." I swat at him and he backs up against the counter and reaches for me.

"Are you okay with me touching you this way?"

"Yes," my mouth confesses before my brain has the time to agree.

He uses one hand to trail his fingers over the top lining of my tank top. "What about like this?"

I nod.

My heart is hammering through my chest and I'm convinced that he can hear it. I feel so in tuned, so alive and awake, and starved for his touch. It's been so long, and here he is in front of me, saying and doing the things I used to love so much, only this time, he is a little more cautious, more patient.

"I've needed you so much, Tess." His mouth is less than two inches from mine, his fingers are drawing slow circles on the bare skin of my shoulders. I feel drunk, my head is cloudy.

When his lips reach mine, I'm dragged back under. I'm taken to that place where only Hardin exists, only his fingers on my skin, only his lips caressing mine, only his teeth nipping at the corners of my mouth, only the soft groans sounding from his throat when I unbutton his jeans.

"Are you trying to use me for sex again?" He smiles against my mouth, pushing his tongue to cover mine so that I can't respond.

"Teasing," he mumbles and presses his body completely against mine. My arms move around his neck and my fingers lace through his hair.

"If I wasn't a gentleman, I would fuck you right here on this counter." His hands cup both of my breasts, his fingers hooking under the straps of my bra and tank top. "I would lift you up here, slide these hideous pants down your legs, spread your thighs, and take you right here."

"You said you weren't a gentleman," I breathlessly remind him.

"I changed my mind. I'm a half gentleman now," he teases. I'm so wound up that I'm beginning to think I may combust and make a mess of the kitchen. I push my hand down his boxers and my eyes roll back when he says, "fuck, Tess."

"A half? What does that mean?" I moan when his fingers slide easily past the loose waist of my pants.

"That means, regardless of how badly I want you, how fucking badly I want to fuck you on this counter and make you scream my name so the entire block knows who is making you come," he sucks at the skin down the column of my neck. "I won't be doing any of that until the day you marry me."

My hands freeze, one down his boxers, and the other on his back. "What?" I croak, clearing my throat.

"You heard me. I won't be fucking you until you marry me." He has to be teasing. Right?

"You're not serious, are you?" Please don't be serious. He couldn't be, we have barely spoken in months.

"Not even close to joking. No bullshit." His eyes dance with amusement and I literally stomp my foot against the tile floor.

"But we aren't.. we haven't even.." I gather my hair into one hand and try to make sense of what he's saying.

"Oh, you didn't think I would give up so easily, did you?" He leans in and touches his lips to my burning cheek. "Don't you know me at all?" His smile makes me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

"But you did give up."

"No, I'm giving you space just like you forced me to do. I'm trusting your love for me to bring you back to center, eventually. You are taking a long ass time though."

What the hell?

"But.." I am literally at a loss for words.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he laughs and lifts his hands to cup my cheeks. "Will you sleep on the couch with me again? Or will that be too tempting for you?"

I roll my eyes and follow him into the living room, trying to make sense of how any of this could possibly make sense to him, or to me. There are so many things to talk about, so many questions, so many answers, but for now, I'm going to fall asleep on the couch with Hardin and pretend that everything could be right in my world, for once.

(Hey guys!! Only four left now!! Thank you for being patient. This chapter is double the length of normal chapters, so try and think of it as two chapters lol. Maybe? Anyway, I hope you had a good weekend, mine was incredible and I got to meet some of you! Which was so amazing and surreal. I was so nervous and you all were so sweet. I hope to be able to meet all of you one day! I love you all so much!!)