"Happy Birthday to yooouuuuuuuuuuuu." We sung, placing a flaming cake in front of a surprised-looking Emma. She was overjoyed and I felt a swell of pride seeing her face. Last time we'd celebrated her birthday, it was surrounded by our families and friends. I know she'd been dragging her feet when it came to this birthday because she wanted something special but she also didn't want to expect anything of me.

Well, we got you something Emma, how's that?

I felt very proud of myself, I'd managed to pull a cake and decor out of nowhere. Steve and Bucky'd helped while Emma was at a lecture at uni. They'd played around a little but eventually we managed to scramble to get everything together before she'd returned home.

"You're a terrible singer." Bucky whispered under his breath to Steve.

"Shuddup punk." Steve whispered back, a glint of playfulness in his eyes.

"Not right now." I mock-glared at the two and they put on grins for Emma, who clapped in delight.

"Okay, time to cut the cake." I grinned, producing a long, shiny knife. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bucky go pale and take a step back. I sighed, not making a comment. I handed the knife to Emma who made a clean cut to the bottom. "Eww, you touched the bottom, time to kiss the closest boy!" I squealed, clapping.

Like an assassin, Emma whipped out and pecked a kiss on Steve's cheek and returning to her seat. Both of them sat with crimson spreading across their cheeks and I squealed again, laughing. Bucky took a seat next to me as Emma continued cutting the cake into perfect slices (a quarter for each of us) and distributed it on plastic plates.

"Wait!" I cried, "we gotta take a birthday photo." Steve volunteered to take it. Emma, Bucky and I all cuddled together, putting on our best grins (Bucky even managed a half-smile) and Steve took the photo.

"Let's eat cake!" Emma called with glee. I was halfway through mine when I noticed Bucky looking down at his cake, not having touched it. I sighed and in a low voice spoke. "Look, mate, if you don't want-"

"No, it's just that..." Bucky sighed.

"You can eat it you know." I laughed a little. With his hair cut and the stubble shaved from his chin, Bucky looked quite cute, not saying that he wasn't cute before... But that was a sort of, wild cute. However, right now, he looked a little confused.

"Really?" He asked uncertainly. I nodded.

Bucky looked down to his food and began eating, uncertain at first but then shovelling the cake into his mouth, I laughed and caught Steve's happy gaze from across the table, watching his friend.

...

Bucky didn't sleep that well that night.

His screams echoed across the spare room, I was the first to rush in, even ahead of Steve. He was thrashing, the night terrors having a cold, harsh grip on him.

Without any second thoughts of the repercussions, I rushed forwards, grabbing his arms to shake him awake. "Bucky." I begged. "Wake up you chicken."

His eyes shot open, grabbing my arms, he flung me across the room where I hit the wall and fell to the ground. This wasn't him. I immediately thought. This isn't Bucky. I got a glimpse of him, his muscles tight, his eyes cold and furious. A chill ran over me. This definitely isn't Bucky.

"Bucky!" Steve cried, partial shock and horror.

Before I managed to pick myself up, he was already on top of me, an arm against my chest and a knife raised to strike. "Do it." I whispered, tears filling my eyes. "I thought I had something to live for but apparently not. So go ahead." I spat. He paused, perhaps surprised by my sudden suicidal desire. Then relaxed.

The light flooded back into his eyes and he staggered back whimpering, "Livvy, I-I'm so... Livvy, please." I saw that his eyes were glimmering with tears. I winced, clenching my eyes shut and dragging in a breath. I rested my head against the wall, plaster dust coating my skin. My back was sore and my head throbbed.

"Olyvia?" I heard Steve, ask tentatively. I held up my hands in a clear gesture for give me a moment.

"I-I just, need a moment." I managed, my hand scrabbling up the wall and friending a hold in the indentation in the wall. I pulled myself up, snatching my hand away from the wall and rushing out, cradling my fingers. I rushed out through the sliding door, trembling. My eyes clenched shut to cease what'd just happened from my mind.

I shut the door with a snap, dragging in a breath of crisp air, I stumbled upwards a couple of paces, hugging myself and grasping at my sleeves. Breathe in, breathe out. I heard Emma's voice say from some time ago. In the event of the worst happening, make sure you breathe.

I managed to get to the tip of the beginning of the descent into the valley. At the lip was where I felt the most vulnerable. I could fall forwards into the desperation of the past to take a step backwards, ironically moving forwards into the present.

"Livvy!" I heard the cry behind me and turned, Bucky was scrabbling up the hill towards me. To be fair, it was quite an amusing sight. He'd get up four or so paces up and then fall back three.

I turned back, rubbing my arms. I was in a thin set of pyjamas and the night was quite chilly. I massaged the part of my arms where it was sore, anticipating bruises in the morning.

A heavy breath fanned on the back of my neck and I shivered, more goosebumps appearing. I was tense, frowning, refusing to turn around because to do so would admit that I'd forgiven him. And I hadn't. Yet.

There was the shuffle of fabric and I flinched at the touch of a heavy jacket being draped over my shoulders. I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek and shuffling, rocking from my heels to my toes. The silence was strong, the stars were murky and the tension between Bucky and I was unprecedented.

"What did you dream of?" I asked softly, a neutral statement that I was proud of constructing.

"My mind getting wiped... And you." Bucky spoke softly. He dreamt of you. My thoughts sung, I pushed them away.

"Are you okay now?" I managed.

"I'm sorry." Bucky whispered.

"But are you alright?" I turned to him, my arms crossed and my eyebrows furrowed.

"I am now." I was quiet again and turned away, my thoughts a mess. "Livvy, I-I'm not sure how to explain it."

I looked to Bucky, barely able to make out the features of his face, but I imagined the look of repentance in his eyes, the hope that I'd accept and forgive him. I managed a smile, shivering.

"It's okay Bucky, I get it, I forgive you. Now let's go back inside, it's cold out here." I laughed softly, scrambling down the slope back the the apartment. Bucky followed me soon after.