"I'm going out, I'll probably be back at one, a total mess or in a couple of days with a hot billionaire boyfriend that is not Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne." I waved, dressed at Emma and the two Americanas on the couch.

"Olyvia, we haven't talked about you drinking with your meds!" Emma cried, stumbling off of the couch.

"I didn't take my meds, so uh, no need." I said too happily.

"But really Liv is-" I closed the door before she finished, then sighed. Truly, I felt bad about treating Emma like this but sometimes she worried too much and when she did that, the world becomes painful to deal with and everything sucks.

I room my eyes as I take the elevator, I clench my eyes shut, ignoring the pounding pain behind my eyelids. I figured it would come soon. The memories that I caught from him.

Let's pretend it's not a superpower, but whenever I touch someone, a couple of hours later I get their strongest memories, their most fearful ones, their most lustful, best and worst. The opposite sides of the spectrum. Emma thinks this is what my bipolar is. She doesn't know how bad it is.

So this is why I get so much reign from Emma, being in that place, during the destruction, helping people of of the fray, those who were screaming and crying and partially dead. It all became too much. I kept pushing on to help, until I was spasming on the floor, screaming. This is what comes with superheroes and the destruction they cause, innocent pain and then there's me, who's at the receiving end of that.

Emma wonders why I lock myself up in a nuclear zone.

Usually they're slowed by drugs or loud music or something that will change the movements of my brain. I search through my pockets for the tablet of e that I brought along and find it. I sigh, relieved. The elevator doors swing open with a screech and I step into the hallway, Joe's party is already in full swing and the music thuds through me.

I say hi to a couple of guys, breezing through, however, when the flashes get really bad, I slip the tablet into my mouth and wait for the effects. Suddenly, my mind is clear, the world's sharpened into focus and everything is hit with a rosy glow. The flashes disappear, so does the cloud that's always hanging in my head. The lights dance across the ceiling in the most rhythmic way, I could stare at them for eternity. The bodies on the dance floor jump in exact precision.

"Come on Liv." A guy grins, taking my hand. I know him from somewhere, I swear. He leads me through the throng of densely packed bodies. His hair licks his face in an invisible wind, he grins down at me. "Let's keep going Liv." He whispers.

"Okay." I speak uncertainly, not even sure if I'm saying the words.

"Let's not stop here." He speaks. I nod. He slips a hand behind my neck and draws my mouth in close. We kiss and it's the wrongest thing I've possibly ever felt. Extremely wrong.

"Get off." I pull away from the kiss and growl. "Stop it."

"But you wanted this right?" He grins against my lips. He grabs my shoulders and spins me against the wall.

"No. No I did not want this." I cry. "Get off of me!" He covers my mouth, my screams wouldn't have been heard over the music anyway. I'm dazed from the ecstasy and my limbs are weak against his attacks. His fist grasps my shirt and he drags me to a room where I try to scream, bang on the door, anything. "Help me! Get me out of here! Please." I tug at the door handle, it seems not enough as I'm pulled back, his arms snake across my chest, fastening like a seatbelt. I'm never going to wear one of those things ever again.

"Stop it, Liv." His voice is soft, alluring, persuading. "Give up. Give up you bitch." He yanks on my hair, sending me tumbling to the ground. I suppress the sobs, crying is a sign of weakness for me. A whine escapes.

He pins me down onto the ground, using my hair as leverage to keep me down and the other hand to snake its way into my pants. I scream, scream for help, and rage and an animalistic cry of being stuck. I lash out, rake my nails down his face, whip, bite and kick.

He slaps me, hard. It clears whatever hung left in my head. The pain brings tears to my eyes and they streak down my face. "It didn't have to go like this Liv, you said you wanted this." He hisses, ripping open.

"No!" I scream, my voice raw. "I didn't want this."

"You heard her." Another voice says. A punch sends the guy on top of me flying into the wall. I scrabble up, away, drawling my legs in close and bracing myself against the wall. "She said she didn't want it."

"What the-" The guy cries, the new attacker, starts hitting him, over and over again. There's not much light, but I can see he's of strong build and he has dark hair, wild, long hair. His arms are like solid silver, glinting viciously in the nightlight. I whimper and the attacker stops. The guy, Mark, I remember, slumps groaning.

The guy punches him viciously, Mark tries crying out but only a croak emerges. I take deep breaths in order to calm myself. "I'm sorry." The man with the silver arms speaks. "I didn't want him to hurt you." I nod, clenching my eyes shut.

"C-Could you just, take me back?" I try not to cry, shaking. Seconds ago Mark was everywhere, he could go anywhere he wanted. Now he's gone.

"Of course," he whispers, helping me up. He pushes away the hoards of people, clearing a way for me to get through. I don't look at him, only down, not acknowledging the fact that I was almost there.

Once we were in the hallway, it was a bit quieter and he turned to me as we walked. "Are you okay? Emma was really worried about you she's really torn up."

I look to the guy beside me, my saviour, it's Bucky. I stumble over my shock. "I-I don't... I don't care, all Emma's do is going to worry. She needs to find something else to do than babysit me all day."

"Dammit Liv!" Bucky cried, slamming the wall next to me, causing me to freeze in fear and look at him slowly. "She really cares about you Liv! She was bawling her eyes out after you left. But she didn't want help, no she wanted me to go after you and watch that you were okay. One day she's going to wake up and realise that you're not worth the trouble and leave!"

"I hope she does!" I cry back, tears starting to fall again. "I hope she stops wasting her life on me and gets into her future, not one where I'm holding her back! I hope she leaves, with you by her side into the sunset and completely forget about me."

"Come on Em." I coax her from the rubble. It surrounds us to the jagged horizon. "It's gonna be okay." I can feel her fear, her terror running through me. I'm scared too but I have to suppress that and help Emma first.

On her dusty face are tear stains, her red-rimmed eyes are a stark contrast to her ashen drab. I wipe back her fraying hair from her forehead as she looks around, shaking.

"It's gonna be okay." I manage a smile. "As long as we're together, we will be okay."

I clenched my eyes shut and sigh loudly. "I'm sorry, okay?" Bucky speaks to me. "I-I just don't know,"

"You don't know what it was like back then, when it was only the two of us and the fear of death. I almost lost her several times that day. Em recovered so quickly, I didn't. Something about seeing your best friend crushed and dead does that to you."

Bucky snorts. "I think I know what you mean." We begin to walk together again. "Was that your first party, like that?"

"Normally parties are slightly less chaotic," I laughed. "Joe's for some reason, never have been. They always get too wild, too out of hand. I just didn't think it would wind up like that."

I sighed and looked at my feet as they scuffed the carpet.

"Hey? Can you promise not to tell Em about what happened back there?" It takes a few moments for Bucky to respond, he does so by giving a sharp nod of his head.

"As long as you promise to one day soon, to tell me about that day."

"Oh, okay then, that day. Well, I dread the day on the day that I have to tell you about that day."