Trigger Warning: Heavy discussion of Death, skitzophrenia etc.

"Olyvia?" Bucky asked, snapping me out if my haze, he wiped a tear away that was sitting on my cheek. "Are you okay?"

Are you okay? The words bounced back and forth within my mind. I shook my head a little, shaking away the muddled thoughts, the cries in the back of my head. "Yeah." I grinned looking up at Bucky. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just..." I dropped my arms that, in my panic, had latched onto him.

I was grinning, not really sure why, but I was happy. Pure and wholeheartedly happy. I'd figured myself out. The pieces of me had never fit together so well. Sure, I was still broken, but I wasn't shattered. "What happened?" Bucky asked slowly, aware of my joy.

"I figured it out." My eyes filled with tears, a couple spilled. "I figured myself out."

"How do you mean?" Bucky asked slowly, God he was so patient with me.

"I have this... Thing." I began slowly, suddenly unsure of myself. Bucky was friends with superheroes and knew greedy people, this couldn't spread around. My voice became serious and urgent. "You've gotta promise me that you can't tell anyone, not even Steve. Emma knows but not how bad it really is."

"Okay." Bucky said slowly. "I promise I won't tell anyone, I trust you."

My mouth opened, then I stopped. I trust you. "T-thank you." I spoke with a hint of sadness, "no one's really trusted me recently." Bucky nodded slowly. I took a deep breath and sighed. "I have this... Thing where I see people's memories."

"Like a mind reader?" Bucky asked, I shook my head.

"Not that powerful, only the strongest memories, emotionally-driven ones. Lust, anger, love, hate and so forth. It only occurs with physical contact and the memories I see can flash in my mind from anytime from a second after to a couple of days."

"Right." Bucky spoke slowly. I snagged his arms and we began walking. This place held certain memories for me, happy and terrifying ones alike but they no longer haunted me. I'd made my peace with them.

"Most of the time I don't know it's my own memories, I'd think it's me jumping out of buildings or killing people when really, it isn't. That's why I'm secretly so grateful for Emma. She was there for almost every second of my life, she knows the real me better than I know myself."

I took another deep breath, looking at the horizon, it was the hill of the valley. The sun was reaching it. We'd have perhaps an hour or two left of daylight.

"The memories. They're so vivid. I wake up, fully believing that I've been shot or some other horrible thing. And I couldn't tell the difference between reality and what wasn't my memories. It's disorientating, it's sickening and I wish I didn't have it because on that day..." I stopped and took a deep, shaky breath, beginning to tremble.

"It's okay." Bucky said softly, looking down at me with nothing but concern in his eyes. "You don't have to tell me about it."

"No it's okay." I took in another shaky breath, the first signs of tears beginning to tug away at me. "It's just, the memories, they make me wanna help everyone, prevent that kind of pain. On that day, I was in school, it was lunch break and Carlyle, my boyfriend, we'd decided to go get sandwiches at the local shop. We were pretty close to the epicentre when it happened. H-He was killed instantly, a car had flipped into the shop front, taking out almost everything except for me."

I took in a deep breath, leaning over, resting my elbows on my knees and taking in a couple of breaths. Once I'd gotten over my sudden lurch of fear I began walking with Bucky again. This time, Bucky didn't try to convince me otherwise about telling my story. He knew that this was what I'd needed. Bucky, the guy who'd gone through the second World War, I think, would know a thing or two about therapy.

"They say over seventy-five of the population was wiped out in that moment, imagine that, a town of seven thousand. Five thousand, three hundred people were gone, in barely a second. That's worse than 9/11. But we don't get no Memorial Day, we don't get no Remembrance Day." I laughed, wiping away tears. "I'm getting off track, anyway, my next thought is Emma, she was a block away, still at school the goody two-shoes. You shoulda seen it when I got there, caved in straight. Kids of all ages screaming over other kids bodies. I don't know how many people I touched in there. How many memories I caught. The pain, you wouldn't believe it, I was practically stumbling in agony from it. Somewhere, in that pain I gathered the energy to gather a team of seniors and we dug other students out of the rubble. A lot of those guys died. Cancer chewing their bodies up and death spitting them out. Believe me, I'd seen cancer before that day, a silent killer, but what happened in there was terrible. Those of us who could stand or were being dragged, found a secure room where we locked ourselves in and waited out the fallout. I'd read a survival guide my grandfather had, we needed to wait at least three days, it would be safe enough for the rescue crews to come in."

I took another shaky breath. "I didn't have siblings, but I had friends, Emma was the only one I found, she was buried under some rubble, crushed, sure, alive, barely. She must've broken every bone in her body. But she held on for those three days, unconscious, almost dead."

I took another deep breath, this time looking up at the hazy sky. "We lost a lot of kids in there, I lost almost every other student my age until it was me, alone, telling less than a handful of children that there's not enough food and clean water to go around. We managed. As leader, I was on duty of taking the bodies out. There were hundreds, lined up in the hallways, making this Godawful stench that make you want to send a pair of scissors through your head with." I huffed, kicking the dirt as we walked. "I found that I could catch memories from the dead. I can tell you, it's awful having those sorts of memories in your head, they're always the worst. The ambos came, I insisted that they take the other kids first. They all died anyway, cancers, burns, the fallout, marrow poisoning, the names go 'round in my head y'know? In the hospital, Emma found her passion for medicine, the only thing I found in the hospital was the news of my dead parents, I went straight back out. Less than three hundred of us are alive today, at least half of those are in hospital for tumours." I sighed and ground my teeth, not looking at Bucky.

"No one asked why we hadn't been informed of the bubble of radiation under out feet, we must've been sitting on that bubble for over four years. The media, the rest of us, just all looked to the cause of it and how it's gotten there." I looked up at Bucky.

"Supers." He whispered. I nodded.

I sighed again. "The memories just went 'round in my head, holding dead friends that weren't mine, crying tears for strangers. The fear all of it built up, the guilt of running for my friend instead of my family. They might've been alive for those two days. I don't know, but their bodies were still warm from the radiation, their faces pale and sunken, sure, but serene. Interestingly enough, I didn't catch any memories from them. I preferred it that way. It made them easier to let go." I sighed, looking at Bucky. "That was depressing, wasn't it."

Bucky shook his head. "Sometimes we've just gotta let it all go."

I smiled to myself. "Yes... Let it go." After a moment or two, I asked. "Hey, have you seen Frozen?"

Well that was a little depressing, Imma make it a little happier the next chapter. At least you know why Olyvia is a little screwed up. I've been in that situation of pain and suffering but only for a short period of time, and I couldn't imagine what it's be like to be in that any longer than it was.

I'd say that there's probably about five, ten chapters left if I was stretching it, actually, probably ten chapters. Things should start picking up speed soon...

If you think that was a bit mild, just think about it, really think about it. Remember Olyvia took on the memories of possibly hundreds of people those could of days, not all were living.

Okay. I need a Pina colada and pray that I get onto the set of Thor Ragnarok (imma try tomorrow;)