The last chapter was a bit traumatic. Let's see how Rachel deals going forward...

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Rachel

    Magnus had given Rachel leave to go back to Alice's for some lunch and to change clothes before going back to work. By the time Rachel arrived in the kitchen Alice was already busily working on dinner. Rachel was surprised to find the old woman was alone, Kathryn nowhere to be seen.

    "Ah Rachel, good," Alice said when she saw her come in. "You can help me finished chopping vegetables. I thought a hearty stew would be something we might all enjoy this evening. We had an abundance of fresh ingredients to utilize at the moment and I fully intend to take advantage."

Rachel nodded as she donned her apron and went to the counter.

    "You can mash some potatoes as well for our Master's dinner."

    "Where is Kathryn?" Rachel asked.

    "I asked Kathryn to attend to some other chores," Alice answered. "We are making a simple meal after all. The two of us should be able to accomplish it on our own I should think."

    Rachel nodded as Alice handed her a knife. Soon they were both slicing carrots and potatoes side by side. The chop chop rhythm filling the silence between them.

    "Our Master told me you did well today, Rachel," Alice said after a moment. "He was very pleased."

    Rachel felt a small blush come to her cheeks, uncertain how she felt to hear this assessment. "I did what I was told," she answered.

    Alice nodded her head once. "In any case, he has also told me you wish to spend more time with the other animals and I have already agreed. It will do you good to spend more time outside. The weather will only be warm for so long after all. You should take full advantage."

    Rachel did not fail to notice how Alice referred to her as if she too were an animal when she spoke, and the comment forced a question into her head she'd been trying not to think about. But she had to know.

    "Alice?" Rachel asked.

    "Yes?"

    "Have you ever..." She stopped, not knowing how to ask her question. "Magnus eats human meat."

    "He does," Alice answered without pause.

    "Have you ever had to prepare it for him?"

    Alice stopped her chopping for a moment and looked up at her as if surprised by the question. "Of course," she answered.

    "But." Rachel stopped again. "How could you do it?"

    "Meat is meat," the old woman said, returning to her work. "What difference does it make?"

    "I..." Rachel didn't know how to respond.

    Alice picked up a slab of meat from the plate beside her and slapped it down on the chopping block. "Does this look like the animal you helped Magnus slaughter today?"

    Rachel looked at the red flesh, a sick feeling creeping into her stomach.

    "What if I were to tell you this was not a lamb at all, but a stake cut from Judith's thigh that I am preparing for his meal?"

    Rachel's eyes opened wide in horror.

    Alice gave a small snort and threw the contents of the plate into a heated pan on the stove. Hearing the sizzling sound Rachel cringed as the smell of cooking meat quickly filled the room.

    "Once an animal is dead, what difference does it make what is done with their flesh?" Alice asked. "I liked Judith's company and she was a hard worker, but now she is gone. The body that remains is nothing but meat. It is the same for all the rest."

    Rachel tried desperately to think of an answer, but as she stared at the stove she could only think of Alice's words. Was the flesh in the pan really human? Was she really staring at the remains of the shy woman who had been so kind to her in the end? Who had stood in this same kitchen offering her blessing? Whose necklace she wore around her neck?

    "Is that really..." Rachel couldn't bring herself to finish the question.

    "Don't look so horrified," Alice said shaking her head with another small mirthless laugh as she moved the meat around in the pan with her knife. "No, this flesh comes from non-other than the lamb you helped dispatch earlier."

    It didn't make her feel any better. The smell of cooking meat seemed overpowering now. The soft bleat of the lamb echoed in her ears. Rachel backed away from the counter.

    "Sit down, Rachel and take a deep breath," Alice advised. "Or better yet, go out and play. I will call you for dinner. You are no help to me like this."

    "Yes, Ma'am," Rachel answered shakily. She felt guilty abandoning Alice, especially if she had no others to help, but she knew she couldn't stay in that kitchen a moment longer. She wasn't certain if she could ever eat again. But as she turned to leave, the older woman's voice stopped her.

    "I expect you to eat your meal tonight," Alice said as if guessing at her thoughts.

    "I don't know if I can," Rachel admitted.

    "Of course you can," Alice scoffed. "You have been enjoying the food I serve you for weeks now and you have eaten from among the animals here before. What has changed?"

    "I helped him kill those sheep!" she answered, both frustrated and sick all at the same time.

    "And what better way to honor their sacrifice but to consume their flesh?" Alice asked, undisturbed by her outburst. "Magnus did not slaughter those lambs because he is cruel. He did so to feed us. So that we could all live. If you refuse to eat the food those animals provided then they died for nothing."

    Rachel knew what she said was true. Her refusal to eat could not bring the lambs back to life. But the idea still made her queasy.

    "Leave," Alice said turning back to her work. "I find your presence annoying at the moment and would hate to say something I will later regret. I will have Kathryn find you when dinner is ready."

    Rachel nodded and went for the door, glad for the chance to be free of Alice's company.

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    That night as Rachel lay in her bed she found it difficult to sleep. Though she hadn't dared refuse the meal Alice had set before her, she felt ill with every bite.

All the seasoning in the world could not mask the taste of death she was certain she could detect. In the back of her mind she saw red. She could almost smell the iron coppery tint of blood. When Rachel's eyes finally did close she was plagued by nightmares.

    In her dream, she was in the slaughter room with Magnus again, her hands pressed firmly on the warm lamb's body.

     "Keep the animal calm," Magnus told her. But then Rachel blinked. Suddenly she no longer felt the soft wool beneath her palms. The cold metal table dug into her shoulder. She tried to move her arms and found them tied behind her back. Terror overtook her as Rachel realized it was the lamb that now held her down upon the table.

    "No!" Rachel cried, but a gag in her mouth stopped her protested. She couldn't breathe, air coming into her lungs in short panicked gasps.

    "This will all be over soon," dream Magnus said, raising a horrifyingly large knife up to the light. She watched as glistened all silver and sharp and then it began to bleed.

    Rachel screamed again and again as her Master approached, blood pouring from the knife, struggling against her restraints with all her might. It did no good. She could not escape. Magnus kept approaching, the knife growing larger in size as he did. Behind him, she now saw the two slaughtered boys, their heads barely attached to their necks. In their arms, they held the severed heads of the lambs she had helped murder.

    "Now hold still."

    Her Master's voice again, the sibla man stood towering over her, with sharp teeth and ice cold eyes. A true monster ready to devour her whole. Warm blood dripped from the knife onto her cheeks, mingling with the tears falling from her eyes as she begged him to stop, choking on her sobs. The knife at her throat, she could feel its honed edge pressing against her flesh.

    "No!!!!" One final muffled cry of desperation.

    Rachel awoke with a cold sweat covering her body. She clutched at her neck, still able to almost feel the deadly weapon against her throat. The room was dark. Alice snored peacefully in her own bed.

Rachel wanted to wake her. To climb into her bed and feel Alice's arms around her soothing away the terrifying visions of her nightmare. But she knew that whatever comfort the woman could give would be false. This was not a dream, this was her reality. One day her life truly might end upon that table.

Rachel wrapped her arms around herself instead, eyes wide open against the darkness, fearing to close them lest she once again be forced to bear witness to her gruesome future.

So... the day's activity does seem to have had a certain scaring effect on Rachel. Seeing the lambs slaughtered wasn't so bad at the moment but trauma is a tricky thing (and Rachel def has PTSD)....But then again, she always knew her reality. Nothing that happened today really changed anything. And she did see that Magnus was not a total monster. The dream version of him however is a different story. It's one thing to watch another animal get slaughtered afterall, quite another thing to accept that you might face the same fate. :-/

Anyhoo...What did you think of the chapter? Of Alice's comments? She is pretty cold, but this has been her reality for a very long time. New Chapter will be posted on Friday. This one will be from Magnus's pov. Why did he have Rachel help with the lamb slaughter? And how does he think it might have impacted her? There are two sides to every story after all ;-)

To all of my readers, both old and new, I just want to thank you for following the story! We are just over halfway through now and I promise there are still some surprises still to come! Hope you are enjoying, and if you are, don't forget to vote :-)