Immediately after Jameel left the room, Najah found a little solace in the quietness of her surroundings. The room seemed frozen in time, as if it too mourned the absence of the life that once emanated from within her.

More tears prickled Najah's eyes as her hand instinctively cradled her empty womb. It felt so strange to her knowing there wasn't a life growing inside her anymore. She blamed herself for not rushing to the hospital immediately after the pain started. She had thought it was something mild and would go away after she had rested.

The weight of her sorrow pressed heavily upon her fragile shoulders, as she found herself immersed in a sea of self-blame. "I'm sorry, my baby," she choked on a sob. "I should have protected you but I failed to. My carelessness and nonchalance is the reason you're not here with me right now. Maybe you were taken away from me because you deserve a better mother."

In the depths of her despair, she began to question every decision she had made. "Why didn't I just Afrah for help? This would not have happened." She swallowed a huge painful lump in her throat. Her mind became a battleground where regret and guilt fought for dominance.

She could do nothing but shed tears.

"Najah..." Jameel's voice filled her head. His presence wasn't noticed until he spoke although she didn't acknowledge it.

"Najah," Jameel called again. "Sit up. Have something to eat. I brought you food."

Najah shook her head.

"But you have to eat. Come on, sit up." Jameel urged.

"I'm not hungry." She replied, wiping her tears away with her fingers.

"To regain your strength, you have to eat. Even if it's a little."

"I. Said. I. Am. Not. Hungry!" Najah enunciated every word. "Please, Jameel, don't try to force me."

"I will force you if I have to. I'm not even joking. Sit up, Najah, it's you that I am waiting for."

Not because she wanted to, but because Jameel was serious, Najah obeyed him.

She stared blankly at the plate of food in front of her. The aroma of the meal should have been enough to make her mouth water, but instead, it made fresh tears well up in her eyes. How could she eat comfortably after failing to protect her baby? It felt like she was about to commit the biggest of crimes. She couldn't help but think about the dreams and hopes that she had for her child that had just been lost. Moving on seemed impossible. The pain, coupled with her guilt had robbed her of her appetite.

Jameel held the spoonful of rice close to her mouth. "Open."

She shook her head. Food was the last thing on her mind as she was stuck in a state of grief.

"Najah," Jameel called, frustrated. "Please open. I know you don't want to eat right now, but you have to regain your strength. If not for yourself, do it for me. Do you know how worried I am for you? Don't do this." He implored.

She sighed softly.

"Just a few bites," he propelled.

Jameel's persistence made Najah relent; her mouth opening on its own accord.

She took a small bite of the bland food. The satisfaction she once found in food eluded her. Chewing it felt like a chore, but she did not mind, as it was a sacrifice she had to make to please her husband.

"Thank you!" Jameel smiled and brought the spoonful of food to her mouth again.

As Najah forced herself to continue eating what Jameel was feeding her, she felt a glimmer of gratitude for his persistence. How worried he was for her when she refused to eat, and how he cracked a smile when she finally relented meant everything to her. His actions made her find a flicker of hope just when she thought she had lost all. It was a reminder that even in her darkest moments, she was not alone. She had Jameel. She had her husband with her.

Words would not be able to convey her gratitude. She felt immensely loved and cherished. It was not a feeling she was used to.

Submerged in her thoughts, Najah suddenly felt a lump form in her throat as she was having a hard time swallowing the bite of food Jameel had fed her. She tried to push it down but it wouldn't budge.  

"Have some water," Jameel quickly passed her the glass of water.

Taking a sip of the water, she thought it would help, but it was futile. The lump was still firmly stuck in her throat.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she struggled to swallow the food. She felt like she was choking but she knew she was not. She just didn't want to eat anymore.

"Slowly," Jameel encouraged.

After what felt like an eternity, Najah managed to swallow the bite.

She shook her head when Jameel attempted to feed her another bite. "Please no," she beseeched. "I have had enough."

Jameel nodded in understanding and kept aside the plate. "How do you feel?"

"Guilty," she replied; her head hung. "It's all my fault. I should have—" she cut herself off when she felt Jameel's hand under her chin, lifting her head and making their gazes meet.

"It's not your fault, okay? As I said earlier, you had no control over what happened. It's qadr. Blaming yourself won't solve anything. You have to keep your faith alive, accept what happened, and move on. Allah is going to bless us with more children at His appointed time. I don't want to hear you blaming yourself anymore. I'm going to be pissed off."

Najah tried to control the waterworks but the more she tried, the more it intensified.

Jameel pulled her to himself; her head resting on his chest.

No words were said, and he began to stroke her back soothingly.

She snuggled more into his body and felt her eyelids meet when his lips touched her head.

•

Afrah's eyes opened to Jameel lying beside her; his arms draped protectively over her shoulder, offering a sense of comfort that she desperately needed and appreciated.

The previous day had been the worst of her life. Losing her unborn baby was a blow that shattered her heart into pieces and left her feeling bereft. Jameel being there for her all through the night even though he was supposed to be with Afrah meant much more than she could express. He had been her unyielding support. He held her she needed to be held and wiped her tears away even before she realized she was crying.

Her lips curved into a small smile as she fathomed she was not alone after all. Although the pangs of grief were gradually receding, the guilt remained.

Jameel stirred in sleep and finally woke up.

As fast as she could, Najah removed his arm from around her and slid her feet to the floor; her bare skin meeting the cold tiled floor of the room.

"Good morning," Jameel's groggy voice filled her ears. "Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"What time is it? I hope I didn't oversleep. I have to go to the masjid."

"5" she responded and walked into the bathroom to ease herself.

When she emerged, Jameel had already left for the mosque.

Najah went back to bed as she was having cramps and her back was aching a little.

•

Najah had already gone back to sleep when Jameel returned. It was the sound of the door opening that woke her up.

Although she didn't voice her thoughts, she was surprised Jameel had returned. She thought he would stay back in Afrah's room.

Jameel sat on the edge of the bed, beside her and placed his hand on her forehead. "How are you?"

Najah couldn't deny the fact that she was indeed feeling better. Yesterday had been traumatizing for her but Jameel's support made everything easier for her.

"Feeling better?"

Najah nodded.

"I just spoke to Hajiya. She wanted to come because she's so worried about you but I told her your condition isn't critical.  She doesn't have to stress herself. She is getting old now. She doesn't need this...she still insisted on coming though. She thinks I'm lying to her. Maybe you can speak to her and tell her yourself."

"Okay."

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again. "I'm asking because I'm not used to seeing you this quiet around me."

"I will be fine...as long as I have you by my side," Najah said. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened."

Jameel shook his head. "Don't do that. Just let it go. It will help you move on faster. Focus more on getting better."

"Thank you...for not leaving me alone. So many unpleasant and nasty thoughts were passing through my mind. I thought I was going to spend the night alone. I was so scared. Thank you for not leaving me alone."

Jameel held her hand and squeezed it gently. "You didn't leave me alone when I was at my lowest; what makes you think I'm going to leave you alone in this situation? Just like you, I'm also saddened by what happened but I know I have to be strong for both of us. I know that together, we will be able to get through this."

Gratefulness filled Najah's heart, overflowing like a cascading waterfall. She knew that she was blessed beyond measure to have found a husband who not only respected her but also cherished her for the person she was. For the first time, she felt wholeheartedly accepted by him.

"And thanks to Afrah as well," Jameel added. "She has been so understanding. Even before I asked, she suggested I stay with you. She is so worried about you."

For a minute or so, Najah did not know what to say. Afrah had indeed proven that she wasn't as bad as Najah thought she was. When the pain began, Najah wanted to ask for help from Afrah but she refrained from doing so because she believed Afrah would never help her.

Amidst the pain she was going through, she could see how Afrah went out of her way to get her to the hospital as quickly as she could—an act she would never forget. The gratitude Najah felt towards Afrah was immense. The situation taught her never to judge people based on their past actions or even what they display sometimes.

"I don't even know how to begin to thank her..." Najah's voice trailed. Tears glistened in her eyes as she recalled how compassionate Afrah had been towards her. She also didn't fail to notice that at some point, Afrah cried with her. Najah couldn't help by understand Jameel better—the reason he loved Afrah the way he did and couldn't let her go despite everything that had happened between them. She clocked Afrah to be a person with a heart of gold but easily misunderstood because of her foul mouth. "She helped me a lot yesterday."

"Afrah is naturally like that. She's easily the most empathetic person I have ever met, but her emotions always get the best of her. She was even blaming herself for not attending to you earlier."

"Truly."

"I'm glad you can finally see it. I pray this births an opportunity for you to be nicer to each other."

•

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