Ever since Rex Wolford AKA: Agent Arizona joined his father and his team in Val Halla, he's been doing his best to keep his sanity in check. Recently he and Red team have been fighting Caboose, Sarge runs up a rock and stands on the edge. 

"Attention: Blue Team! This is the Red Team! We are here to destroy you! Your long reign of being the crappiest team around is about to come to the sudden and cataclysmic end! We will give you a few moments to suck in the horrors of this announcement! And then return for your reaction. Be right back!" Sarge then comes down the rock towards Grif, Simmons, and Zone. 

"Hehe. Alright, that oughta scare the bejeebus out of them!" Sarge chuckles. 

[Seriously dad?] Zone questions. 

Simmons then says, "Actually, sir. Since it's just one of them over there..." 

"And the one is an idiot..." Grif adds. 

"I don't really see the point in psychological warfare." Simmons states. 

"You're right, Simmons." Sarge agrees. "It's not really accurate to refer to one person as a team. What's better? Blue Person? Blue Man? Bluetonian?" 

[Dear God, have mercy on my soul...] Zone sighs. 

"What I meant was—"

"Bluetard!" Sarge interjects. 

"What I meant was, I don't see the point in announcing to him that we're gonna attack. Why don't we just do it?" Simmons asks. 

[He's got a point dad.] 

"There's an order to this, Rex." Sarge argues. "We can't abandon protocol just because we have an advantage! We have to give him a chance to see the errors of his Blue ways! To lay down his arms and meet his fellow men at the table of peace, where we can work together towards a better world. A world that's better, because we poisoned his food at that table, and stabbed him in the eye with a fork. And taken all his stuff." 

"Dibs on the computers." Simmons says greedily. 

"Noted. Now watch that base. Tell me if anything changes." Sarge orders. 

"Yes, sir! And sir?" 

"Yes, Simmons?" 

"I just wanna say, I'm glad I was here to see you on your day of victory. It's been a long time coming." 

"Yes it has, hasn't it? My skills as a leader have really taken us far. It must've been quite an honor to serve with me. Ah...okay. Glad we had this talk." 

"Are you glad I'm here too, Sarge?" Simmons asks. 

"Of course I am." 

"I knew it! I just could—" 

"The squad's kill-death ratio is the most important measurement when evaluating sergeants! If you had died, that would've hurt my numbers." 

"Glad I could help!" Simmons walks off trying not to cry. 

"It's better to keep a little padding in our stats! That way, if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face, and still stay in the lead." Sarge calls out. 

"You know, I'm standing right here." Grif states. 

"Right where I want you: within face-stabbing range!" Sarge then turns on his radio. "Lopez, how are those vehicle repairs coming?" 

<Coming? The jeep is destroyed. It can't be fixed.> Lopez replies. 

"Got an ETA?" Sarge asks clueless. 

<Yes. Never.>

"As long as they get it ASAP! Cuz' I need a PDQ!" 

<In that case, never minus one.> 

"Lopez, you're a regular RFR; Really Fast Robot. Grif! Make a note in the acronym journal. Simmons! Rex! Status report!" 

[Still just Caboose, dad.] 

"Lopez! Status report!" 

<You already talked to me, idiot!> 

Sarge then runs up the rock again. "Hey, Blue! Don't think we've forgotten about ya! Still gonna kill ya any second. Count on it!" 

"Sarge, have you thought this invasion all the way through?" Grif asks as he and Simmons walk back. 

Sarge nods. "Of course I have! We beat the Blues; we win, you suck. That's all the way through." 

"Uh, and who do we fight then?" Grif inquires. 

"We fight...with other Blues!" Sarge says hesitantly. 

"But what if no more Blues come? I mean they haven't sent reinforcements yet. What if they never do?" 

"Why would you want more Blues?" Simmons asks. 

"Well, we have this new base and all this new equipment." Grif states. "Who else are we gonna test it on?" 

"Who cares!? The war would be over!" Simmons points out. 

"Oh. Great." 

"You're suggesting we don't attack them? Grif, that's borderline traitorism!" Sarge exclaims. 

"I think the word you're looking for is treason, sir." Simmons corrects. 

"Never mind, Sarge. I was wrong. If the war's over and we win, well that's just great." Grif says gladly. 

"Of course it would be!" Sarge says. 

"I mean, no more early morning runs. No more training exercises. Why would we need to do any of that stuff, right? We won!" 

"Right...?" 

"And all this new equipment, we can just let them fall into disrepair. I mean, we don't need it! We won't even need to test it, because we're winning. We're about to make it all obsolete." 

Sarge begins to groan thoughtfully. 

"And just think about this, Sarge! No more boring staff meetings! Ever!" 

Sarge runs up the hill again. "Hey, Blue! There's uh, gonna be a slight delay in your destruction! Hang tight! Maybe I should call our new Command. They'll tell us what we should do." 

"Heh, yeah, the old one was so great, the new one's gotta be even better." Grif states sarcastically. 

[Good luck with that dad, I'm gonna go see if Lopez needs a hand with anything.] Zone then walks off. 

"Alright kiddo. Hehehe! What would I do without that boy?" Sarge then turns on his radio again. "Command! Come in, Command! This is Blood Gulch Outpost... wait...I mean, Simmons, what's the name of this place again?" 

"Valhalla." 

"Valhaldagir-jaggle-callit... thingy... Outpost Number One! Do you read? Come in! I need advisement on what to do about Blue Team!" 

"What are you doing?" Simmons asks Grif. 

"What do you mean, what am I doing? We have one enemy here. We can milk this for years!" Grif says unaware that Caboose is walking up behind them. "If we beat them, Command will just send us to some new base, where we have to fight a real team." 

"So?" 

"So?! Do you want to fight one stupid enemy, or five real enemies? Or do you want me to help you subtract one from five? I know that's tough for you." 

"Shut up." 

"Hey guys." Simmons and Grif whirl around towards Caboose. 

"What are you doing here?!" Simmons says baffled. 

"Just gettin' parts from the crashed ship." Caboose shrugs. "What are you guys up to?" 

"We're deciding whether or not to kill you and wipe out your team forever." Grif explains. 

"Ah. Sounds tough." 

"We're kind of splittin' the decision right now." 

"Do I get a vote?" Caboose asks. 

"No! G-Get back to your base! Stop wandering around during your defeat. It's confusing!" Simmons orders. 

"Oh! Okay. Sorry!" Caboose then jogs back to his base. 

"And what are you workin' on?" Simmons calls out. 

"Still not telling you!" Caboose yells back. 

"Hello? Hello? Hello? They hung up on me!" Sarge says walking back to them. 

"Why?" 

"They said they didn't even have record of a Blue Team. Nothing on Blues at all in their computer system." 

"Oh...ohhhh!" Simmons then slaps himself. 

"What?" Sarge asks. 

"We deleted them, remember? From Command computers. We wiped them out." 

"We did?" 

"Yeah, don't you remember?" 

"Ohhh, right." 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As Sarge began to babble on about what happened at Command, Zone and Lopez watched from not far off. 

[Geez, was it always this crazy working with my father?] 

<It was like working with the craziest man from a mental hospital.> Lopez tells him. Xi then appears between them. 

"How did you put up with them? Didn't you want to shoot any of them?" She asks. 

<Obviously, but if I did that and somehow I got broken, who'd fix me?> 

"Would you want to be fixed and spend more time with these guys?" 

<.....Good point.> 

[We might as well get to work on fixing the Warthog, come on. Let's go see if we can salvage any parts.] 

<Right behind ya.> Zone, Xi, and Lopez enter Red base. 

(WELL LADIES AND GENTS! HE'S BACK! AND ARE REX AND XI IN FOR ONE HECK OF ROLLER COASTER RIDE!)