Back at the Blues and Reds underwater base, Sarge walks into Temple's office. 

"You uh...wanted to see me sir?" 

"Just one second...goddang freakin' pop-ups.. If I find out Buckey's been downloading porn again I'm going to flush him out the pressure lock." Temple then shuts down his computer and looks at the Red Colonel. "Sarge. I thought we should catch up." 

"If it's about Simmons, sir, I've-I've already given him a stern talking to. Perhaps in a few days, we can give him another chance." Sarge suggests. 

"Yeah, that's not happening. There's...there's just no time! You understand. Our machine is finished, and it's time to see if it works." 

"Mmph...understood." Sarge says sadly. 

"Sarge, I really called you in here because...I wanted to see how you were holding up." Temple says sympathetically. "I-I can only imagine, this must be a...really difficult time for you."

Sarge merely grunts in response.  

Temple places a hand on Sarge's shoulder. "Speak freely, Sarge, please!" 

"Well, it ain't been no cakewalk!" Sarge admits. "But I didn't reach the rank of Colonel by only following the orders I liked." 

"Gah, you're an inspiration to us all. Which brings me to my point: I'm promoting you!" 

Sarge looks up in surprise. "Oh, really?" 

"The warhead will need loyal and capable leaders. If I had a dozen like you, Sarge, the UNSC wouldn't stand a chance!" 

Sarge salutes him. "You can count on me, sir! Does that mean...am I a..?" 

"That's right! Super Colonel!" 

"Super Colonel Sarge! Ha-ha! Boy, that rings like a bell, don't it?" Sarge laughs. 

"Sure does." Temple agrees chuckling. 

Surge and Shadow walk up to the two as they laugh. 

"Temple! You need to come see this." Shadow says. 

"What is it?" 

"We have an intruder." 

"What?! Why haven't you sounded the alarm?!" Temple cried. 

Surge laughs. "It's not that kind of situation, sir." He leads them into the security room with Buckey and Gene, where they see footage of Grif running around the base. 

"Biff?" Temple whispers. 

"Nah, I'd know that pudgy, out-of-breath waddle anywhere! That's Grif!" Sarge states. 

"How long has he been at it?" Temple inquires. 

"A while. He's been goin' 'round in circles." Surge laughs heartily. 

"The heck is he thinking?" Buckey says confused. 

Grif continues to run around while murmuring to himself. "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfreakers! Dun-dun-dun-dunnana. Kssh. Uh, this is Snake to Big Boss. No sign of surveillance. Kssh." Grif walks next to a table with Fish on it, a Metal Gear Solid noise plays as an exclamation mark appears above his head and he turns to it. 

"Hello there!" 

"What the heck is he doing now?" Gene asks. 

"Snacking. It's amazing he's made it this long!" Sarge says shocked. 

"Some rescue." Temple scoffs. 

"He's going for the vent! (Shudders) That's gonna be a tight fit." Cronut says uneasily. 

"Alright, alright, someone butter him up and pull his fat butt out of there." Temple orders. 

"You gotta use something other than butter, though. Otherwise, he'll just lick it off." Sarge points out. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Temple, Shadow, and Loco walk into the holding cells where they see the Tucker, Caboose, Simmons, and Donut. 

"Howdy everyone! How are our fine guests doing?" Temple asks aloud. 

"Screw you." Tucker snarls. 

"Charming. Well, gang, I thought we should have a little chat before I bid my final adieu. After all, our business together isn't quite finished, is it?" 

"You're goddang right it's not." Tucker says gripping the bars of his cells. 

"Let's try and be civil, okay, we're all adults here." Temple then glances at Loco. "Age-wise, at least."

"Oh-ho, if you think for one second that you're gonna get away with this..." Simmons snorts. 

"Aw, still holding out hope for that last-minute rescue? Don't." Temple then gestures to the door as Buckey walks in with a cuffed Grif. 

"Grif?!" Simmons says shocked. 

"Simmons!" 

"Grif." Tucker also says. 

"Simmons! I mean Gri- y'know, is it a bad time to tell you I'm colorblind?" Caboose asks. 

Buckey shoves Grif into the cell next to Simmons. 

"You got my message!" Simmons cries. 

"I did! Oh, guys, there's so much I need to tell you!" 

"It can wait." Temple states. 

"No! Not another minute! I'm sick of waiting. I am sorry! Everyone, Simmons, I'm sorry I left like that." Grif apologizes. "Tucker, I'm sorry I didn't come with-" 

"Shut up, please." Temple hisses. 

"Caboose, I'm sorry I didn't help you find Church. That makes me a bad friend." 

"It's okay! I know he's still out there." Caboose says confidently. 

Temple laughs. "Really? You think so?" 

"Stop it." Tucker snaps. 

"But I don't want to." Temple looks at Caboose. "Caboose, would you like to hear Church's full message? We got the whole recording right here. He talks about you." 

"Really?" 

"Play it, Shadow." Temple orders. Shadow brings out his holo-screen and taps something. 

"Playing archived message from Blood Gulch Outpost." A voice announces over the speaker. 

Church's voice then comes over the speaker. "Control! Control, do you read? This is Church from Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, over. If you're getting this it's an emergency! You've gotta send a plumber as soon as you get this, please! Tucker and Caboose-eugh-they flushed a grenade down the toilet and it exploded! And it's everywhere, Control! It's coming out of the goddang walls for Pete's sake. Send help please. We need-I need-a plumber. Geez! And some goddang new recruits too, because I'm about to murder these two! Church out." 

"End message." 

"It's crazy what you can do with editing software these days." Temple grins evilly at Tucker. "What's the matter, Tucker? Cat got your tongue? I'm curious; do you all remember that? Granted it happened a long time ago in a Gulch far, far away, but still! It must've been a memorable episode." 

"I-I don't get it is he-is he back in Blood Gulch?" Caboose asks. 

"No, goddangit, we lied to you. He's dead!" 

"For now." 

"No! Forever! How freaking stupid are you?" Temple seethes. 

"Geez, man, lay off!" Grif snaps. 

"Whatever, he's an adult, okay. Maybe if you all didn't treat him like some big baby, he would understand something as simple as death. As dying and being gone for-ev-er." 

Tucker sees Caboose lower his head sadly. He growls and pounds the door of his cell with his fist. "I'll give him a real-world example if you unlock this freaking.  cell.

"Shadow, if you please." Temple says. Shadow reaches his hand inside the cell and grabs Tucker by the back of his head and slams it into the bars. Tucker falls gripping his head in pain. 

"So you changed his message so we would come looking for you?" Caboose says getting the picture. 

"Bingo. Thank you. I had help, of course. Loco's the one who did the scrambling." Temple says gesturing to him. 

"Look-a-we-wha-see, what happened-um, we can still be friends!" Loco assures him. 

"No, you can't. This is goodbye. We are leaving. Onward, to victory! Adieu, adieu, farewell." Temple says dramatically waving as he, Loco, and Shadow follow him out. 

Buckey walks up to Tucker. "Hey, Tucker! Thanks for the sword, bro!" 

"It won't work for you, moron." Tucker states. 

"It's still got uses. I think your mom will love it, if you know what I mean. A-boom-chicka-wah-wah." Buckey laughs as he walks out.

Sarge and Surge walk up, they run into Temple and Shadow. 

"What was all that about?" Sarge asks. 

"Oh, not much. Went in to offer our guests every comfort and they chewed me out. But we'll treat them well, Super Colonel Sarge." Temple reassures him. 

"Ah, good!" 

"Uh, I need to talk to you about something else." 

Sarge stands at attention. "Awaiting orders, sir!" Temple and Sarge then walk away. 

"It's about that reporter..." Temple says. 

Back in the cells, Tucker stands up and embraces his blue comrade. He lets go but keeps his hands on Caboose's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Caboose." 

"Gone-gone...like Simmons said on Scary Planet." Caboose says wiping some tears away. 

"Yes." 

"Forever." 

"Forever." Tucker confirms. 

"But-" 

Tucker shakes his head. "Sorry, Caboose. Not..this time." 

"But, but...I never got to say goodbye. Or, thank you for being my friend." Caboose states. 

Tucker grips Caboose's shoulders tightly. "They'll pay for this. I promise. I'll make them pay." 

"We all will." Grif adds. 

"You shut up Grif, you've done enough already!" Tucker scowls. 

Grif raises his hands. "Ease up dude, I did my best." 

"Your best!? You freaking botched our only chance of escape." 

"Uh, no I didn't." 

"You busted in here, made an idiot of yourself, and got caught. What do you call that?" Tucker demands.  

"A pretty freaking sweet diversion." Grif says making everyone raise their eyebrows. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Back in the room of frozen Freelancers, Wash groans in annoyance. 

"Yup, it's back. Oh, it's bad this time." 

"Ignore it." Carolina says strainfully. 

"I can't." 

"Heh. I believe in you, Wash." Carolina chuckles. 

"My kingdom...my kingdom to scratch my nose." Wash says irritated. 

"At least...you...didn't get frozen...in a god-dang yoga pose." Carolina says through gritted teeth. "I'm gonna need a week at the chiropractor when we get out of here." 

Wash starts to fall asleep.

"Wash. Stay awake, Wash." Carolina orders. 

"Just a little rest." Wash pleads. 

"You don't get to rest, Agent Washington." Locus then appears in front of them. "Not yet.

"Well, I'm hallucinating again. This time it kinda looks like Locus." Wash says. 

"Wait. I see him too." Carolina adds. 

"This is...awkward, isn't it?" Locus asks walking up to them. 

"That...depends." Carolina points out. 

"Are you here to kill us?" Wash asks. 

Locus looks down and sighs. "I sure get that a lot."