Get Your Tucks in a Row

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Zone stops the tank at the radio tower. "Hey Wash!" 

"Yeah?" Wash says standing up. 

"Need to talk to you and Tucker." 

"How did you get the tank?" 

"Guess!" Xi shouts pointing at Caboose. 

"Hey Wash!" Caboose waves. Wash groans as he sets down his tools and follows the red Freelancer. They stop at Blue Base where Tucker walks out. 

"Oh crud." Tucker mutters. Caboose then walks out from behind the tank with Xi floating next to him. 

"We are back." Caboose states. 

"Caboose?! Geez, I thought you were in that thing." Tucker says relieved. Then he realizes Xi is here. "Wait, Xi? Who is in that thing?" Zone then exits the tank as Wash walks up as well. 

"Hello Tucker." The Freelancers say together. 

"Oh crap." Tucker says swallowing nervously. 

"Tucker, what is the one thing I tell you each and every morning?" Wash asks. 

"Wake up." 

"The other thing." 

"For the love of god, stop sleeping naked." 

"No." 

"Quit getting on Zone's case about Carolina?" Zone punches Tucker. "OW!" 

"Don't let anyone touch the tank." Zone answers for him. 

"Heh, okay I can see where you're going with this." Tucker chuckles slightly. 

"Until we're rescued, we need to be more mindful of the supplies that we have." Wash reminds him. 

"I know, I know. Ration the food, maintain our equipment." Tucker sighs annoyed. 

"Brush your teeth, don't talk to strangers, try not to shoot anyone while they're trying to brush their teeth." Caboose adds. 

"Who told you that?" Xi asks. 

"And always report in to me and Zone." Wash finishes. 

"Do we have to?" Tucker asks. 

"Yes. I even put up that old Blue Team organizational chart to help demonstrate the point." 

"Wash, leave charts and stuff like that to Donut." Zone groans. 

"Yeah, but we never really listened to that. Church just kinda shouted orders and we'd get around to them...eventually. Or we wouldn't, whatever." Tucker says not caring. 

"He was an inspiration to us all." Caboose murmurs sadly. 

"Well Carolina and Epsilon decided to run off without so much as a goodbye. So it's up to Wash and me to keep us all together. Maybe if someone hadn't have crashed the ship, we wouldn't be in this mess." Zone says narrowing his eyes at Tucker. 

"Whoa, wait a second. Why are you looking at me when you say that?" 

"I just have a hard time believing that thousands of well trained crew members were to blame for the incident." 

"Well they definitely didn't survive it. Ah ha ha ha. Ahem." Tucker clears his throat upon realizing what he said. 

"Wow." Wash says. 

"Yeah." Tucker mutters. 

"You proud of yourself?" Zone asks. 

"No." 

"Yeah that was, that's too soon. Prob-probably too soon for sound effects too. "Meeer. Oh god help us, Kapow." Yeah that's too soon." Caboose says. Xi shakes her head and sighs. 

"Look as much as I'd love to stay and get on Tucker's case about God only knows what else; I've got an orange guy that won't do anything at all even if it meant saving his own life, a maroon guy that has got to be the only other logical person in this jungle but is an extremely whiny baby when no one listens to him, and a red guy who happens to be my father that keeps messing with the equipment that we need to survive. So if you'll excuse me, I need to go check on Moe, Larry, and Curly." Zone turns and leaves. 

"I should, uh, yeah I should probably...go, now. See ya!" Xi salutes the Blues and vanishes. 

"What's with him?" Tucker asks. 

"(Sighs) I think he's still mad at Carolina for upping and leaving us." Wash replies. "Can't say I blame him." 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Zone trots over to Grif and Simmons as Sarge approaches them. Xi appears as well. 

"Absolutely unacceptable." Sarge states. 

"I couldn't agree more sir." Simmons replies. 

"But you have no idea what he's going to say." Grif reminds him. 

"Oh, right yeah, just got a little excited." 

"You are the worst kind of person." Grif mutters shaking his head. Zone smacks him on the back of the head. "OW!" 

"Quiet morons, we've got a situation on our hands." Sarge declares. 

"Which is?" Zone asks. 

"The deplorable condition of Red Base." 

"You're still hung up on that? We're stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a mysterious, and seemingly uninhabited jungle might I add, and you're worried about the condition of our makeshift fort?" Grif says gesturing to the overall of the base. 

"Besides, I don't think our base is even that bad." Simmons shrugs. 

"Well...I wouldn't say that." Xi replies. 

"What? What's wrong with it?" 

"Seriously? There's an enormous hole in the roof. Every night it rains, I get washed into the corner!" Grif complains. 

"He's got a point there." Zone agrees. 

"Oh, well, yeah there's that, but I mean overall." 

"And the majority of the west wing is made up of sand bags and rain tarps." Sarge points out. 

"Which reminds me. If we have rain tarps, why aren't we using them to cover up the hole in the roof?" Zone asks. 

"Listen, I think you guys are blowing this whole thing a little out of proportion." Simmons says holding up his hands. 

"You're just saying that because you're the one that designed the base." Grif points out. 

"Well I did a better job than you would have done." Simmons smirks. 

"That's not saying much." Xi states. 

"I bet I could at least do it in a better location." Grif thumbs at himself. 

"But this is the best location. The sunlight is perfect for maintaining my vegetable garden and the faulty engine from the ship should keep us warm all winter." Simmons explains. 

"But aren't slipspace engines extremely radioactive?" Sarge asks. They all stare at the engine. 

"Well that would explain why my hair keeps falling out." Grif says. 

"And why all of Simmons cabbages have three heads." Zone adds. 

"I thought I was just really good at farming." Simmons mutters sadly. 

"No Simmons, you're good at other things. Like always being on time, maintaining your virginity." Grif states before heading inside Red Base. 

"Oh yeah, well we'll see who's laughing when my garden produces a bountiful crop in the coming harvest!" Simmons shouts. 

"Glad to hear you still have that virginity on lock-down buddy." Grif shouts back. Simmons mutters to himself as Zone looks up. Xi notices this and reappears in front of him. 

"Hey boss, you okay?" Zone for a split second saw a shimmer. 

"W-What, oh. Yeah fine. Thought I saw something for a second there." 

"It was probably a bird." Xi replies. 

"Yeah...probably." Zone mutters before walking away. From on top of a hill, a dark green and black figure appears. It looks through the scope of his sniper and grins under his helmet. 

~I've finally found you...Raptor.~

(BET WE CAN ALL GUESS WHO THAT WAS? ZONE ISN'T GONNA BELIEVE WHO HE REUNITES WITH ON CHORUS! IF YOU READ SEASON 10 AGAIN, I TALK ABOUT LOCUS AND FELIX IN A SPECIFIC CHAPTER. I'LL LET YOU GUYS FIND IT.) 

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