The Reds drive in their Warthog avoiding enemy fire. They stop behind a rock for cover. 

"Simmons! Status report!" Sarge commands. 

"We're completely surrounded, severely unprepared and reinforcements aren't coming any time soon!" Simmons replies quickly. 

"Excellent news!" Sarge says hopping out of his seat. 

"Excellent?!" Grif says stunned. 

"I was beginning to worry this wasn't gonna be much of a fight! But ya gotta hand it to those villains, always one step ahead. You can learn a thing or two from them, Simmons." Sarge chuckles. 

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind if we survive, sir." 

Grif gets out of the Warthog. "Any bright ideas, Colonel?" 

"The way I see it, we'll punch through the Pirates' defenses with an adrenaline-fueled slow-motion car crash! Thus creating an opening for us to escape and allowing me to scratch one more thing off my "screw it" list." 

"How do you just make something slow-motion?" Grif asks. 

"If it's epic enough, life finds a way." Sarge declares. 

"Love the enthusiasm! It's great, sir. Really. But don't you think we could try something, that won't get my head blown off?" Simmons asks. 

"You could always switch seats with Grif." 

"Done." 

Grif gets behind the wheel. "Screw this! We're regrouping with Wash!" 

Sarge climbs in his seat. "You just always have to suck the joy out of everything don't ya?" The Reds then drive off. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Back at the temple the Blues, Zone, Xi, and Dr. Grey are still encased in Carolina's bubble shield being safe from the four Space Pirates waiting to shoot them. 

"So...any ideas?" Tucker asks. 

"Epsilon, prep the Speed Booster, then drop the shield on my mark." Carolina says quietly. 

"That's not going to work!" 

"My leg's fine. I can take it." 

"It won't work! Just think of something else before we run out of power." Epsilon says before vanishing. 

Tucker turns to Santa. "Yo, Kringle! These guys are gonna kill us if you don't throw down some alien magic and help!" 

"It is not my place to meddle with human affairs." Santa vanishes. 

"Aaargh! Freaking cop-out!" Tucker growls. 

"Quick! Everyone, into the portal!" Grey says ready to jump. 

"It just leads to the testing grounds, we'll be tossed back out." Zone argues. 

"Not all of us. Caboose could- oh, Caboose!" 

"Hello!" Caboose waves. 

"I need you to hold on to Freckles as tight as you can." Grey orders 

"Ah! Yeah, right, I do that all the time anyway. It's how I show affection." Caboose states. 

"His guinea pig never stood a chance. Rest in peace, Mr. Frittles." Tucker sighs. 

"As soon as I'm gone, drop the shield." Grey commands. 

"Where are you going?!" Carolina demands. 

"Whaaaat's she up to?" One of the Pirates ask. 

"Yeah, kinda with the Pirates on this. What exactly are you doing?" Xi inquires. 

"Well, if I explain it, they'll hear me!" Grey retorts. 

"No we won't! Our hearing is terrible!" Another Pirate replies. 

"Yeah, we didn't even hear that." 

"Shut up, Ross!" 

"Please. Just trust me!" Grey begs. 

"(Sigh) Church-" Carolina breathes. 

"I'm losing it! Don't have much of a choice here!" 

"Alright." Carolina nods to the Doctor. 

"Freckles! Run command "Aimbot"!" Grey then runs into the gateway. 

The flash when Grey teleports blinds the Pirates. The shield drops and Freckles quickly guns down all four Pirates, before deactivating. 

Caboose looks down at Freckles before back at everyone else. "Okay um, that was not actually my fault." 

"Hostiles eliminated." Freckles announces. 

"Dang! If we put Church or Xi inside a gun, you think they could do that?" Tucker says. 

Epsilon and Xi appear next to him both distorting. "Don't even think about it." They say together. 

Grey then comes out of the gateway. "Oh goodie, you're alive." 

"Huh, guess she really is the smartest person on the planet." Zone chuckles. 

"Oh stop, I'm not that great! I mean, the Aimbot function only works like half the time, so it was really just a coin toss." 

"Wow, you really need to know when to stop talking." Epsilon says stunned. 

"Agent Arizona, this is Pelican Delta Five Two Zero. We are approaching your position. Prep your team for evac, over." 

"What? No! We told Doyle to send troops to the mountain temple first." Zone protests. 

"He did, sir." Zone and Carolina look at each other. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Sharkface watches as a Pelican lands in front of him and Felix and several Space Pirates exit. 

"This is as close as I could land. Temple's at the summit." Sharkface tells Felix. 

"Any sign of the enemy?" 

"Visually no, but this place is messing with targeting equipment." 

"Then let's get this over with." Felix looks at his men. "Fan out and form a perimeter!" He turns back to Sharkface and snickers. "Don't wanna miss all the fun back at Alpha." 

Sharkface, Felix and another Pirate arrive at the temple entrance. 

"This is it." Sharkface states. 

"Oh good." Felix replies sarcastically. "You know, I really wasn't sure, until you said that. Why don't you put those amazing powers of observation to use and stand guard, okay? Okay." Felix then enters the temple. 

Sharkface turns to the Pirate. "Is he always like that?" 

"You just kinda learn to tune it out." 

After searching the temple for a few minutes Felix yells out to Sharkface. "Hey, Freddy Krueger! There's nothin' in here! Do we gotta do something? Say the magic words? Sacrifice, like...a goat?" 

A large version of Santa appears behind Felix. "You are too late." 

Felix turns and aims his DMR. "Whoa! What?! What do you mean "too late"?! Where's the sword?" 

"It has already been claimed by another." Santa then disappears. 

"No." Felix growls quietly. 

Elsewhere, Doyle is running out of the temple with the sword in hand. 

"GOD DANG IT!" Felix yells. 

"Eh, oh Lord. Of all the people on this planet, why am I the only one down with this bloody thing?!" Doyle cries over the radio. 

"Duh, because all your other men are flying to Kimball and Carolina." Donut answers. "Besides, you've got the best camouflage out of all of us." 

"Just send them back around and PICK ME UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Doyle yells. 

<The temple is still intefering with our controls.> Lopez points out. <We'll have to land farther away.> 

"Good point, Lopez. You get that, General?" Donut asks. 

"What!? No! I no hablo español!" 

"They're here! Spread out and find them now!" Felix orders. 

"Just hurry!" Doyle begs before running away. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Crash Site Alpha, Sarge is explaining his plan to Kimball and Wash. 

"(Slowly) Dirtbag! So, that's a plan. Whaddya all think?" 

"How do you just make something slow-motion?" Wash asks. 

"We're losing men here! I need to start hearing some serious solutions and I need them now!" Kimball demands. 

"Who said I wasn't serious?" Sarge scowls. 

"This ship still has a few pieces intact. If we could find one its engines and get it online, we might have a chance to escape." Simmons replies. 

"Oh dude! Are you gonna fly us out of here?" Grif says excited. 

"What? No, are you stupid?! Assuming the engines are as messed up as I think they are, I should be able to make us a smokescreen big enough to cover our escape." 

"That's a start. Red Team, you and Wash take charge on this, let me know when you're ready." Kimball then walks away. 

"Can do." Wash confirms. 

"Ehh, flying out would be a lot cooler." Grif shrugs. 

"Well, if it's an engine you're looking for..." Wash and the Reds turn to see Smith with the other Lieutenants behind him. 

"I just happen to know where to find one." 

"And I just happen to know how to work it." Jensen adds. 

"And I...am also here and...would like to contribute to the conversation." Palomo says awkwardly.  

"Then let's get to work." Wash orders. 

"Look, I-I hate to be "that guy"-" 

"No you don't." Grif cuts off Bitters. 

"But that area's getting hit hard. Sniper fire's coming out of nowhere." 

"You leave that to me." Wash then loads his rifle. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After Zone, Xi, the Blues, and Grey were dropped off at the temple, they were searching for the British general. 

"General Doyle, we've dropped in at your position. Pelicans are looking for a safe LZ. Where are you? Over." Carolina says on her radio. 

"I'm in a snowy area." Doyle replies whispering. 

"Gonna have to be a little more specific, sir." 

"Now isn't exactly a good time." Doyle looks from behind a rock and sees Felix. 

"Come on out, you prick." Felix mutters. 

"Dang it! We need to find him." Zone says urgently. 

"If we split up, we can cover more ground." Tucker suggests. 

"Okay, Scooby. Let's not make it too easy for the bad guys." Xi snorts. 

"Xi!" Zone says as he and Carolina take the safeties off their weapons. They all look up and see Sharkface.  

"Jinkies! It's Sharkface!" Caboose states. 

"Caboose, if you're gonna give him a nickname, don't make it that stupid." Tucker replies. 

"I underestimated you." Sharkface says.

"We get that a lot." Carolina says before she and Zone fire at him. Sharkface raises his hardlight shield blocking the bullets. 

"Seems we're both looking for the same man. Bet you I'll find him first!" Sharkface sprints away. 

"In your dreams." Carolina mutters before running after him. 

"Carolina where are you going?!" Zone calls out. 

"Split up and cover more ground!" She orders. 

"(Groans) Find Doyle, I'm gonna help her." Zone then runs after the cyan Freelancer. 

"Oh, so when it's their idea, it's a good thing." Tucker murmurs. 

"I wouldn't be too sure." Grey protests. 

"Hostiles detected." Freckles warns. 

They look up and see two Space Pirates. 

"RUN!" Tucker shouts before he, Grey, and Caboose run away dodging bullet fire. 

"In here!" Grey says leading them into a nearby cave. 

"Whew! Think we lost 'em?" Tucker says catching his breath. Suddenly they hear a ghostly voice moaning. 

"What was that?!" Grey says looking around. They hear it moan again. 

"Oh, man! Don't tell me it's alien zombies or something!" Tucker begs. 

"Ugh, I know! It's like zombies are super played out." Caboose says disgusted. They hear more moaning. 

"Friendly heat signature detected." 

"Friendly?" Tucker says puzzled. 

"Thank God!" A purple figure says popping up behind Tucker. 

Tucker and Grey shriek and step back.

"It's Doc." Caboose states. 

"Doc?!" Tucker says shocked. 

"Oh, Tucker! Caboose! It's so good to see you! It was horrible!! Grif threw that future cube, and I was teleported away to some foreign place; another dimension where time and space refuted all logic as we know it! A place where I drifted for what seemed like an eternity! And after a while, I lost my mind! Then I found it! Then I lost it again. Oh, but it was the thought of you all tirelessly searching for a way to bring me back that kept me going all that time. And look! Look how my faith in my friends has been rewarded! Oh, I love you guys!" 

"Wait... you were gone?" Tucker says confused. 

"I...well, yes! Wha-why are you asking?!" 

"Since when?" 

"Since when! Since the canyon!" 

"Really?!" 

"Yes!" 

Caboose looks at Tucker. "...Yeah, I don't remember that." 

"WHAT?!" Doc screams. 

Tucker turns on his radio. "Hey, Sarge." 

"Whaddya want, Blue?" 

"Do you remember teleporting Doc back in the canyon?" 

At the shipwreck Sarge stands up. "Doc? Nah, he's been with us! I think, or wait. Was he with you?" 

"We found him in a cave! Says he was in another dimension." Tucker explains. 

"That doesn't sound right at all." Sarge turns to Grif and Simmons. "Grif! Simmons! You remember sending Doc to another dimension?" 

"Who?" Simmons asks. 

"Doc! The purple guy!" 

"Doc...Oh, yeah! I guess we did do that!" Grif recalls. 

"Yeah, I totally forgot too." Tucker chuckles. 

"Huh, I guess he's just got one of those faces, you know? Like really forgettable." Simmons says. 

"Totally. Alright, we'll talk to you guys later!" 

"Try not to die!" Sarge advises. 

"You too!" Tucker looks at Doc. "Man, I guess we just never noticed you were gone. Crazy, huh?" 

"Huh, crazy. (Chuckles) Crazy? (Laughing) Crazy?!" Doc continues to laugh until his voice begins to change into a more dark, intimidating laughter. Caboose laughs along thinking it's a game. 

"You incompetent fools! You will all taste OBLIVION!" Doc suddenly tackles Tucker and starts beating him up, still laughing like when he was possessed by Omega. Caboose is still laughing. Tucker groans with every punch.

"Em...should we...do something?" Grey asks. 

Caboose stops laughing. "Oh no, he's a friend." Caboose then starts laughing again as Doc still pummels Tucker.