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Written by _bottomjinniefan_

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Hi bb. Your full review awaits. Hope it lends a helping hand. If you've got any queries don't hesitate to ask...

A story of a fifteen-year-old school boy who is a victim of his parents abusive behaviour, his classmates bullying and his teachers psycho mind getting kidnapped by a twenty eight year old stalker, who he called his hyung

You've got one of the most straightforward covers I've ever seen. Quite literally, your book is called 'Winter Bear and the Masked Man' which is a ship about Winter Bear and his masked man, and then there they are... Winter Bear and a masked man 😄. There's no embellishments or frills. The background is black and white, and the lettering looks like the font on all my college notices. It's not remarkable or beckoning by any means but no one could ever question its relativity.

On the other hand, the synopsis – although nothing big or flashy – was unexpectedly enticing because of all the questions it raised.

"It's a story of boy who gets stalked and wants to marry his kidnapper!?"

"If they can't get married they wanna die!?"

"Taehyung gets stalked, kidnapped and he's bullied by his parents, classmates and teacher!?"

Whoever says shock-marketing doesn't sell can square up, because by the time I was done reading I couldn't wait to click continue so I could find the answers. Did you even realize when writing it how effective it was gonna be?

You're a wizard, Harry.

Bad jokes aside, the subject matter that drove your plot was undoubtedly dark. Through Taehyung's experiences you take us though everything from underage relationships to bullying, stalking, physical and emotional abuse, sexual abuse and suicide – you even touch a little on the issue of cybercrime. It's no small feat to do – and do well – but you've managed to pull this off with restraint.

You don't make a mockery of the issues by exaggerating them for dramatic effect. You don't glorify the abuse and you don't victim blame. Thank you 😇

Since Taehyung is underage, I'd be interested to know where and how far the Taejin ship is going to sail but from what I've seen so far, I'm expecting good things

Getting into your storyline, our introduction to Jin and Taehyung is during one of their first interactions as kidnapper and kidnapee (not a word I know) and gurl, they took me completely by surprise.

Taehyung is happy – ecstatic even, professing Jin is his savior and talking of marriage, whilst Jin is rational, placating of Tae and self aware of himself and the crime he's commited. It's usually the aggressor who sticks out as delusional and the victim who is sound of mind so the reversal of roles instantly threw me.

As the chapters progressed their temperments didn't change, and later we get to know why but this doesn't mean their characters were one dimensional or boring, on the contrary, they were interesting. Taehyung especially.

I don't know if you did any research beforehand, but a lot of the traits you gave him are very real abuse victim behaviours! When Jin is around Tae he acts very young for his age. Then when he's triggered or the events of his abuse are retold, his reaction is either to stall or enter a state of full emotional shut down.

The first is called 'Psychological infantilism' where a person regresses and acts childlike as a coping mechanism. The second is 'Frozen fright' which is the paralysis of the normal emotional reactivity of an individual, followed by 'Learned helplessness' in which someone loses all hope in trying to improve their circumstances. Also referred to as a 'Walking corpse'

A little educare for ya.

I like how you've utilised Jin's presence as the catalyst for Tae starting to 'feel' again and the sombre inner monologue as a reminder to readers, not to get caught up in false hope. The mystery surrounding the investigation and why Tae was taken in the first place is great too

Creativity A+

I'm on the fence about the villains in this story, however. I realise readers aren't supposed to like them and they've got to be awful, but there were parts I felt like all realism left the building because of how manic and exaggerated some of them acted (Like, I'm convinced Tae's teacher is actually the Joker I swear to JK).

Continuity is decent. Abrupt and choppy here and there - mainly due to pinging back and forth through flashbacks or between POVs. Considering chapter length, you managed to pack quite a bit of activity within them but it flowed well. Detail was nice enough to be engrossing but descriptions were inconsistent (sometimes basic, sometimes good).

8 chapters in and no obvious plot holes though! 🎉

Grammar, vocabulary and layout was the area that needed the most improvement. You mentioned in your authors notes that you don't edit and it shows in both the body of your book, and description, which - even if it draws curiosity - doesn't fully make sense how it's supposed to and isn't punctuated correctly. After dialogue no full stops or commas are added, dialogue and their related action tags are spaced apart (underneath instead of right beside), word usage is often incorrect and your tenses could use an overhaul.

Truly, I think if you were to fix these things it would make a huge impact on your reader traffic, so I'd suggest trying to make editing and proofreading a priority. If you feel like you don't have the know how there's the option of finding yourself a Beta who will help you as well.

Everything considered, your writing style has appeal and what it didn't possess in some aspects, it made up for in others. Grammar, sentence structure etc could use refining but the story is solid. Triggers are dealt with efficiently, you've shown creativity, and I can tell you've put thought and effort into your writing which is wonderful. Keep up the good work!

Linney xo

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"A man rich or poor cannot live in loneliness, everyone needs someone to support them." ~ Jin's father in Winter Bear and the Masked Man