It wasn't the first nor the last time you walked over dead bodies. Yet, despite the fact that it was more than familiar to you, it was still somewhat upsetting.

You had killed many and even though you had tried you killed again after a while of peace. It upset you that after all your attempts and your tries to be a normal person, you had broken this streak once again because of your poor decision making back in the day.

"You look upset.", Ghost noted as he secured the back door while the rest of the unit walked on, Alejandro and Soap right at the top.

A strange moment of silence occurred.

You decided to make use of it. With a sigh, you allowed yourself to relax and lowered your weapon to show that there was no sensible threat nearby.

"I've been through this once and I got tired of it.", you said with a gesture to the two dead narcos who both lay on the floor, drenched in their own blood.

"You'll get used to it.", Ghost shrugged.

You chuckled.

"The response of a soldier. It's not about the killing. I was used to it. Still am."

"What's the issue then?", his strange eyes moved to you.

Now, that you had a calm moment with just him, you noticed just how out of place he seemed. Ghost was a tall white man, one arm covered in tattoos, who was dressed in full warm armour at all times. His entire head was covered with a mask that looked like a small boys biggest dream come true.

He was a misfit in all categories. It was odd to talk to him, to confide in him like a friend while he looked like oje of the fever dream that you've had once or twice after being on too many drugs.

"An honest question, Lieutenant, from a person who kills to a person who has to kill.", you locked eyes with him.

"Hm.", he hummed with a nod.

"Do you ever want to stop being a soldier? Your job is quite literally to murder people if necessary. You're ordered to kill. Do you sometimes stop and think to yourself this is not what I want?"

For a moment he just stared at you. Since there was nothing remarkable about him besides the tattoos on his arms, you had to take a note of his eyes.

Somehow, you didn't like them. They were brown, the same colour of Alejandro's eyes, yet so completely different. There wasn't a spark to them, but a harshness instead of discipline.

His gaze was enough to send shivers down your spine. It made him look harsh, like a threat that warned to not come closer since he didn't want anyone close anyways.

Alejandro's eyes, however, despite being the same colour, was something that you fondly remembered whenever you hit a rough patch. It was like a lighthouse in the dark.

"I kill people who need killing.", Ghost finally broke the eye contact as he answered. "Bad people, if you want to call it that."

"So you never regret?", your eyes wandered across the room to catch Alejandro and Soap staring out of one of the windows, sharing a moment as well.

"No. But it sounds like you do."

"I did. At some point I got tired of it. And myself. So I stopped."

"And now you start again."

"Very much right.", a huff escaped you, mocking your own delusional state of mind. "And to get back to your statement, yes, I am upset. Because for a good few years I was a normal, non killing citizen. And now I have a dozen more on my name."

With a gesture you had to point out the bodies once more that started to gathered blood around your feet. Every move made it sound like water splashing yet it was sticky underneath the soles of your shoes as if honey stuck to it.

Disgusted, you pulled a face and turned to approach Alejandro and Soap. Ghost remained behind. He seemed to be the type who wanted to play it safe so he made sure no one would breach through the door.

As you approached you picked up snippets of the conversation that the two men shared. It seemed sincere and calm, so you did not interfere and stood back, just close enough to be in hearing range.

"What happened to the families?", Soap asked as he was about to open the door next to the window.

Alejandro held him back to make sure that his other men, led by Rudy, had the opportunity to catch their breaths as well.

"The cartel brings violence, so they leave.", he explained, his gaze fixed onto something outside.

Soap hummed with understanding. His eyes jumped over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you, he must have noticed you move in the corner of his vision.

"Where's your family, Alejandro?", the Scott asked.

A moment of silence passed.

Then, all of a sudden, Alejandro looked over his shoulder, directly at you. It was so sudden and unexpected, your heart skipped a beat as your eyes met.

No words were spoken but much was said. There was this shimmer in those deep brown orbs of his, the same expression that he's had when he had asked you to be his.

"I wanted to keep that a secret, hermano... To protect them.", he said to Soap while his eyes remained on you, a slim smile forming on his bearded face. "But it seems like I underestimated who I married. There's no protection necessary if you're the one people need protection from."

Hesitantly, his hand rose but stopped mid way as if he was reconsidering if he wanted to show affection in this moment and with the recent events.

You understood, there was no reason to blame him for it.

But you opened your hand and kind of reached out as well, no intention of touching him, but to show that the two of you were on the same page.

In that moment Rodolfo's words echoed inside your head.

You shouldn't worry about what could happen if you told Alejandro everything. You should worry about what happened if you'd keep your silence.