"I was born as the child of farmers.", your voice was as calm and clear as dawn as you finally had gathered all the strength it needed. "To be fair, I don't remember them. The Don only told me a few times about them."

With his eyebrows knitted together, Alejandro tilted his head.

"The Don.", he hummed. "You mean El Sin Nombre."

You nodded.

"He allowed me to call him Don. And in private sometimes padre."

"He was your father?!"

A chuckle escaped you.

"No.", you couldn't hide the amused smile on your face. "Life was hard to me, but not that hard. My parents were in debt. I don't know why and how much they owed, but they couldn't pay back. Do you know what the cartel offers in exchange for money?"

Your eyes briefly jumped up to meet his.

At first Alejandro seemed to hesitate. It was visible on his face that he did not want to speak of the horrible truth. He had to swallow hard before he was able to form words again.

"They take services in exchange.", he said. "Women are very welcome to work in prostitution for the cartel."

"Very welcome, indeed. But sometimes they take other things as payments as well."

"Hm?"

"Children. Most families who are in debt cannot afford their kids anyways. So they are more than happy to hand them over to the cartel. I was a debt repayment. The cartel raised me."

Struck by surprise, his eyes widened. The nails of his fingers dug into his own arms.

"You were a child narco?", he asked.

You shrugged.

"Nothing unusual. Especially not in Las Almas. Kids are hard to catch, not very suspicious either. It's common practice to use them as drug couriers. That's what I did."

"Most kids get killed before they turn ten."

"I was a though one. Survived two bullets close to the lungs. And as you can see.", you did a gesture. "I am here. All grown up."

"Yeah...", his eyes examined you from top to bottom as if he wondered if you still had something on you to deliver. "How did you get to call Sin Nombre Don?"

Again, a fond smile appeared on your lips.

"I worked my way up to the higher ranks. The usual jazz, sold more, bribed more police, killed more rivals. He took note of me. Cartel bosses have loads of children with loads of people but they are very picky with who they want to take the throne if they die. Sin Nombre was unsatisfied with his blood related options."

"So he picked you?", one of his eyebrows rose.

"I guess... To be honest I don't know why exactly me. Perhaps because I had made a name for myself. Or... because he liked me in... other ways.", you had to swallow hard as the memories made shivers crawled down your spine. "At some point we were so close, I was basically his second in command."

Alejandro shook his head in disbelief.

"How old were you?"

You shrugged.

"I can't remember. Fifteen, maybe? Sixteen, seventeen tops."

"A minor."

Once again you managed to lock eyes with him for a moment.

"Age does not matter when you are a narco.", you said in a serious tone. "If you kill your first man with nine, you're a man at nine. If you take drugs at age twelve, you're an adult and if you murder your way up the ladder your opponents won't spare you just because you're sweet sixteen. It's a game of survival, Alejandro. There is no finish line. Just a game over and that's death."

Silence struck.

There was so much he had to process, so much he tried to understand. Yes, he was mad at you and yes, he still felt the urge to scream you in the face. And yet it was visible in his eyes, written all over his face, that he pitied you.

He pitied you for the childhood that you clearly never had, he pitied you for the terrible family that had exchanged you to get rid of their debt.

If there was anything that he felt towards you in that moment it was sorry.

You would have preferred if he would have been angry with you instead.

"The raid.", Alejandro managed to gather his thoughts. "I- I want to know why you know about the raid. It was a secret."

Now it was you who needed a moment.

"Valeria.", you finally said. "She came to him, Don, in my... second year of being his second in command. She was eager. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted something. I liked her. We became friends."

"Valeria?!"

"Yes. Garza was her last name. Before she turned on Sin Nombre and took his life. And his name."

All at once it seemed to strike him.

"Valeria is El Sin Nomber?!", he jumped from his chair.

"We got along quite well, maybe a bit too good.", you admitted. "At some point she told me she'd turn against him. He wasn't what Las Almas needed. She asked me to take over with her, to stabilise her, since I was well established and... respected."

"And so you did?"

"I hated him with all my heart. He disgusted me. I... I feared what he would do to me... sometimes."

"Don't!", with a pained look in his face he cut you off. "I- I am so sorry. I don't need to hear it. This is... not what we need to discuss if you don't want to."

A tear rolled down your cheek.

"Gracias...", you sucked in a sharp breath. "Anyways... She took over the cartel. She's El Sin Nombre. And she was good, I'll admit that. She was fresh blood, someone who knew how to swoon people away. But she was also... darker, in a way. More twisted. After a few too many, too brutal street fights I knew I had made a mistake."

"So you ran away.", he ended your story, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "That's when we met at the bar, I assume."

"That's when I finally found a reason to get out.", you confirmed. "Which I am still very thankful for."

How much silence could a person bare?

How long did it take until one died from the pressure of it?

You didn't know the answer to it. But what you did know was that Alejandro had no doubt about what you had told.

"All this.", he mumbled as he looked at you with empty eyes. "All this for... what?"

"Survival?", you asked halfheartedly.

"Perhaps. How will I know..? But... all of this and they never gave you a name? The cartel loves titles. The public whispers them."

A bitter, indefinitely sad smile appeared on your lips.

"I had one.", you breathed.

"What was it?"

Silence.

Tears blurred your vision, swallowed him.

"Sin Rosto."