When you hate how you write and delete a book and half of your draft books and now hate how you draw bodies again so you're left there sitting and crying 

Am I okay? 

No, No I'm not, I don't think I've ever been  ' okay ' and honestly I'm surprised I haven't landed in a mental hospital, then again the voice in my head would kill me if I did, my own voice to be exact. I don't know stress has gotten to me and I just wanna die, my self-confidence has been  shit I hated how I've been drawing and writing I've developed this nasty nasty habit of checking my writing for premium people on Grammarly cause I can see all the errors that I made that I don't know how to fix and if it gets over 1 I quit and delete the story cause I can't change it cause I don't have premium all I can do is just check over what I've been writing and try and fix only to make it worse.

 So yeah, I also hate how I describe things like hell you probably like ' what the fuck does she mean by that ' and I can't even finish that cause I don't know how to describe it, I can never know how to describe something which is honestly why I'm probably gonna stop publishing short stories and real stories cause I can never fix them or describe to you how beautiful the scenery is or how someone looks.

 I hate myself, I really do I hate how I can't draw hands or how the body isn't right and how I can't draw male bodies and can never seem to break out of my comfort zone in fear of me hating it. I live in constant fear of what other people think which is why I don't draw fanart really or why I don't publish stories about different fandoms or make oc's for said fandoms. Probably why I don't like talking much about my AU's unless you're my close friends.

 I don't know I just wanna vent cause my art can't tell how awful I currently feel, probably going to take a break and draw behind the scenes and write.