119. Meaning

"You kids, go up and see Rei. He's still in the ICU, but you'll be able to see him soon. Nurse Fuse's got him, so greet him, alright? Kunomasu's gonna be around as well."

It was an abrupt change in situation. It seemed the previous issue would have to be addressed at a different time, but seeing as they were now dismissed, Yamamoto reluctantly led the pack toward the ICU where Rei would be in.

Tearing off her jacket and tossing it to the bench, Kazane pulled her hair into a bun and, taking a wet cloth, removed her gaudy makeup. All while walking, so Amano trailed behind with a mild panic as he picked up the mess the woman was making with each step.

"So, where's Kazumasa?"

"Kazane?!" Kuma burst out from the office beside them, "You got here in five minutes, what in the world? You didn't tell me you were in the country-"

"Oh, good timing," Kazane completely disregarded her brother, stopping momentarily. The lollipop lolled over her tongue as she regarded her brother carefully, "Kazumasa, strip."

"You made it sound wrong on purpose, didn't you."

"Take off your clothes."

"Is that really the first thing you want to say to your brother you haven't seen in a decade?"

"If you don't do it in ten I'm gonna do it for you."

"Kazane, you're only twelve minutes older, why do you always treat me like you're twelve years older?"

"Eight,"

"Oh fuck everything."

"Five,"

"You're skipping numbers!"

-

-

Sui had cried herself to sleep for the third time that day. Laying close to her twin, her head resting on Sae's lap and her eyes buried in her twin's stomach-- she was peaceful for the moment. 

Sae let out a contented breath, glad her twin had finally calmed down. 

Maybe if they'd take a little longer, they could build up the courage to walk to Rei-chan's room. But for now, it wouldn't hurt to take their time, so Sui can organize her emotions better.

-

Sae thought back to when Amano asked for Yuuichirou's lungs.

Sui had been shellshocked, mortified, unable to comprehend-- it didn't matter how a life could be saved with it-- her Dad had literally just died and now the decision had to be made to cut him open again? He had suffered in his death-- wouldn't such an action be desecrating the dead-- because rather than the loss of his life, the priority now was his organ?

Sui did not have the opportunity to voice the anger.

Sae's hands squeezed hers, and she shot a forced, assuring smile. "I'm sure that's what Dad would have wanted," she promised, her voice throaty, each syllable swallowed in hesitation, the words painful to compose. "If you can bring Rei back for us, do anything."

Sui did not snap back. Her nails dug into the hold she had on Sae's hand, and biting her lips down, upset and disappointed, she choked back a whimper and began to sob.

Sui leaned onto Sae's back, hiding her face. "Amano-sensei," Sae turned to the older male doctor, her smile fading into neutrality. "We'll be okay, we promise. Just make sure our brother is too."

Inside, Sae felt herself fuming, a sickly, sticky squelch growing a lump at her throat. Her chest welled up in a heat that filled her with thoughts that made her want to cry-- why, why, why did I have to be the strong one here? Why did we have to be put through this?

Why did we have to be caught up in Mafia business? Why did we have to be victims of the Omerta? Why us, what did we ever do? We weren't weak, so why did we have to be the ones at mercy? Why did we not have an accessible foe to retaliate against?

Why did everyone in this world have to make Sui cry?

Sae smiled at her sister-- a kind, sweet, and very calm smile she put on her face, consoling her sister in her own, gentle-voiced manner. "Sui, let's take a bath, okay?" 

Taking her sister by the hand, Sae didn't look back toward Amano at all.

-

Sae played with Sui's hair, sighing. Sae had mostly settled now-- her father, she would probably cry again when the funeral would be held-- but Rei was alive. She couldn't bring herself to feel too happy about it. 

She was so, so glad for him-- but now what?

They were orphaned. They would be sent off to foster homes now-- that was the worst thing imaginable in their situation, but they didn't have a legal guardian.

Who was going to pay for Rei's medical fee, anyways? maybe that wasn't Sae's business. Amano-sensei would deal with that. I wonder if Takeshi-nii and everyone are done with their battle? I wonder if those people that killed Dad are alright? 

Sae bit her lip. How would Rei react when he heard the news?

-

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Her head snapped up as a woman pushed the door open hesitantly. 

"Oh," the woman reacted in surprise, "I'm sorry, may I enter?"

Sae nodded twice, "please, don't mind us," she said in a soft tone to not wake Sui. After all, they were the ones intruding on the employee resting room.

The woman looked young. Donning a white lab coat-- she was a doctor, not a nurse-- and her lanyard was flipped, the name obscured from Sae's sight. Her hair colour caught Sae's attention-- it was a very familiar shade of sandy brown-- It was Rei's color. That's rare, Sae found herself thinking.

The female doctor, upon receiving permission, stepped into the room and reached for large white folders in the cabinets to the side. Taking the fifth file on the second level of third rack from the door, she opened it and began looking through the files.

Sae kept an amused eye on her.

The doctor, catching her gaze, lifted her eyes-- blue, a very particular shade of cerulean, like Sui's-- and sent Sae a smile.

Sae flinched and averted her eyes. 

"Is that your younger sister?" The doctor spoke up suddenly.

Sae was taken aback, but answered with a hesitant 'yes,' out of politeness. No matter how recent they met, if someone asked her a question it was considered respectful to respond.

"You're a really kind older sister," the doctor continued.

Sae nodded, a little awkward at the sudden praise. 

Closing the file, the doctor hugged the folder to her chest. "You look pale and exhausted," she spoke with a pained tone, a very concerned one. "Why don't you get some rest?"

Sae's eyes softened and she gave herself a smile, "I'll be alright. If Sui wakes up again, she'll cry, and I don't want her to be alone when that happens."

The doctor's lips curled into a prideful smile.

The doctor started again, going to break a border this time, "I've heard that your father passed last night," she started, "I'm really sorry for your loss."

Sae's face fell slightly, but she persisted with a meaningless 'thank you'. There it was. Those disgusting, so-called empathetic words of consolation. She hated them and she hated even more to be on the receiving end of this false pity.

"But, you two have an older brother, right?" the doctor smiled again, not a hint of that repulsive pity on her face-- "I heard his surgery was a tremendous success. I'm so glad for you."

Sae felt like vomiting. Your dad's dead, but your brother's alive because of it, I'm so happy for you. What the fuck?

If Rei ever knew about this, he'd take his own life, no doubt. Sae suddenly realized how much she just couldn't do this to Rei. He'd break down much more than Sui ever did, and-- and this family would fall apart in less than another moment.

"Sae-chan," the doctor spoke up again, "You're strong, and that's really admirable."

Strong? But Sae didn't want to be. She had to be. She wanted nothing more than to just bawl now. To wail, to cry with all her might, to be pampered like she was doing for Sui. But if both of them were inconsolable, both would be broken.

"You have the strength to persevere, to hold back your brokenness in front of the ones you treasure." The woman was before Sae now, crouched down and held Sae's hands in hers in consolation, "I think, above all, that's amazing of you. Thank you."

Why was she thanking her?

Sae's smile had long faded into a state of nothing-- neutral, mixtures, confused and conflicted emotions filled her chest-- 

"When your older brother wakes up, go to him," the doctor told her in encouragement, "jump on him, hug him, and maybe you could cry on him too. Make sure he spoils you plenty. More than your dad ever can. You're still a child, so it's alright. You don't need to force yourself to be strong so much."

Sae gripped her fist, "That's none of your business, is it?" the words came out as harsh as she felt like, "Don't talk like you know me."

The woman was shot back with a momentary moment of hurt, and Sae did not falter from it.

The woman chortled and stood up. 

"I'm sorry, Sae-chan," she smiled apologetically, "I couldn't help it. I guess I overstepped my boundaries. I'm really sorry. I'll take my leave now."

Sae didn't want to say she forgave her.

The woman stepped back, and looked at Sui once more-- then to Sae. "You really resemble your mother so much," she whispered to herself, Sae barely hearing it. "Rei and Sui are such blessed children."

The woman bowed lowly, and made her way out of the room.

It was only when the door clicked shut that Sae realized something vital.

"She knew our names," she hissed.

Had that woman been a harmless acquaintance; Or perhaps another Mafioso, or someone targeting them like the Vindice? She was too suspicious. Way too suspicious.

Sae took note of her face. The next time Sae saw her, she decided that she wouldn't entertain her conversation.

She can't let her guard down with the Mafia, after all.

-

-

-

Kazane, dropping the coat in Kunomasu's hands, she took off her fake glasses and pulled her hair into a ponytail. taking off a film that hid a scar beside her left eye, she stuck an unneeded plaster on her left cheek. 

Tying a blue jumper around her waist, she stepped into Kunomasu's spare sneakers and hung on a pair of gaudy earrings.

"Nee-san, are you leaving already?" Kunomasu had been frozen appalled for a long moment, but he was panicked now. Was Kazane gonna leave now? Without even seeing Rei?

"Coming back into their lives now of all times is only gonna destroy their familial bond, Kazumasa." Kazane told him, "I sure they can pick each other up. Just seeing one of them assured me of that."

"Still, can't you at least tell them?"

"Tch, tch," Kazane shook a finger in mockery, "You're naive, Kuzu."

"Did you just call me scum-"

Kazane reached out a strong hand and just rubbed her brother's head in, ruffling his hair roughly in laughter. "You should have some faith in your sister's children, y'know!"

"I don't wanna hear that from someone who hasn't been around in a single moment of their lives."

"It's because I haven't been around, that I can't stay here." Kazane spoke on a grim note. "Wouldn't make sense, would it?"

Kunomasu flinched, knowing he'd said something that hit a nerve.

Popping on a baseball cap, Kazane threw a rucksack over her shoulder and grinned.

"Goodbye, Kazumasa," she bid.

And Kunomasu fought the urge to actually cry. Those words-- those were the exact same words Kazane had told him and Yuuichirou right before she left their lives for what they thought would be forever. 

"Goodbye, Kazane." Kunomasu choked out the words.

Don't go, he couldn't say, stay here. Please.

But he had no reason to give for her.

The door closed behind Kazane, and Kazumasa knew she was gone.