Edited by - iimanmaeen

"Jahan you remember I told you that day my father was with one of my cousin?" Zeenat asked.

"yes."

"My father wanted me to marry him."

Jahan looked up from her book,"Really?"

"Yes."

"He was interested in you?"

"I don't know that. My family has nothing to do with love. We live like robots. Everything is predecided. For girls be inside the house,study till tenth then get married to one of your cousin,have babies.For boy play and do whatever and where you want to go then study whatever you want but at the end join the family business. And then your parents would have decided one cousin for you get married and have babies! Then if it's a girl keep her inside if it's a boy let him do whatever he wants, Then when the time comes decide one cousin and get them married and the process begins again. Nothing new!"

"At least they impose rules on girls as well as boys."

"Yeah but it's not that strict."

"They are forced to do family business even if their interest is somewhere else. That sucks. You know you can work for years but then one day you will get tired. How long can someone live that boring life?Maybe that's why at the end all the men in your family becomes so frustrated."

Zeenat rubbed her chin and there was a frown on her forehead. jahan saw her and asked,"What happened?"

"I never thought about that. According to me only girls were suffering."

"You need to come out of your small I'm suffering bubble to see who all are suffering."

"Now I know why Mushtaq bhai did that."

"Did what?"

"He was my phuphu's son and their house was exactly in front of us. From my window their whole house was visible. And due to some construction work their terrace walls were broken. So there was no protection. He was standing on the edge. The he started talking to someone. His brother Saqlain bhai came near him and I think they were arguing about something. Which was not normal. They were like best friends. And then suddenly Saqlian bhai pushed him. He fell down and died. But their was this rod right next to him which he could have used to as support or saqlain bhai also gave his hand but he did not try to save himself. In fact I always thought he was happy he fell. Now I get it."

"He wanted to do something else?"

"I'm not sure as We were never allowed to talk to each other. But when we were small we all use to sit together and read Quran and after that for some time we were allowed to sit and talk. So that time he use to tell us his poems. And they were really good. Of course I never understood the meaning but the words he used were so beautiful. He was really good in Urdu. Probably he wanted to be a shayar or a writer. I remember his mom used to say he was very sad in his last days."

"Allah! But what he did with his brother was so bad! He must be guilty.It must be hard to live with a guilt."

Zeenat shook her head,"No He was not guilty. He was sad of course and for almost a year he use to stand at the same place but I never saw him crying.In fact I remember he use to smile the whole time. He was really close to his brother and that always confused me."

"Ok." 

Suddenly Zeenat gasped,"Wait! Maybe he did that purposely!"

"You mean he murdered his brother?"

"No! See they were really close so I'm sure he might have understood that his brother is sad and wants to be free and in our house that's the only way to be free. Die and be free! You know when we were small kids he used to say he wants to be a doctor so maybe even he was suffering so when his brother started to provoke him to push him he did that. He killed him for his own good. He might have understood what his brother wanted  from him. Oh My God! You know after Mustaq bhai died his parents never stopped him from doing anything.He is now a doctor! No one forced him to do family business!  Oh My God!"

"Zeenat it's too complicated to understand."

"But I solved the mystery!"

"Congratulation?" Jahan said but that came out more like a question. 

"Wow! I never thought Men in my family also suffer. This is so weird! Why are our parents doing this to us?"

"They just want best for you all. Your family business will provide them with good money. Keeping girls away from boys will protect them from evil men and their intentions. All this is for your better future but they fail to understand their method is wrong. In the process of protecting you all they actually ruin your lives."

"They are trying to protect us?"

"Yes. They are your parents after all."

"Never thought about that."

"Then start thinking now. There is a reason for every action."

"Maybe you are right."

***

"I really love evening walks. we should do this often!" Zeenat said.

"Yesh I totally agree! InshaAllah we will do this daily now."Jahan said.

"My mom use to love walking but again we were not allowed to. But when she was not married she use to go for morning walks and I always use to wonder how walking can make her happy! Now I know the reason."

"Fresh air is always good."

"Yeah!"

"Zeenat answer this. Your mom use to love you right?"

"More than anything in this world! No one can love me more than her."

"Allah loves us 70 times more than our mothers.70! Just Imagine how much Allah loves you!"

"I didn't see that coming."

"It's true! You can search it if you want."

"No I trust you."

"Everything is a test Zeenat. Allah is testing you. Just to see if you will come back to him or not."

"But why will he test me for so long?"

"We all suffer for long time."

"You both suffered for less time." Zeenat said slowly.

"You think we are perfectly happy?"

"Yeah I think that." Zeenat said looking down.

"You know how it feels like to live without parents. There is this void which is going to be with us forever. Just because we don't complain does not mean we are perfectly happy."Jahan snapped at her.

"I'm sorry."

Jahan was quiet for a long time trying to clam herself down. Zeenat was looking all the while and then they reached the point from where they have to take turn around. Jahan took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm just try to give you reasons to love Allah and you always come up with something against him."

Zeenat did not say anything and just kept walking,"Look everyone has different patience level. Allah tests you according to that! Probably your patience level is very high as compared to us that's why you are being tested for so long. Zeenat when Allah loves someone he afflict them with trails. And also Allah promised ease after hardship. You need to trust Allah!  Your situation could have been worse! It was Allah who gave you courage to run from that so called hell It was Allah who protected you till the time you met us. Anything could have happened that day Zeenat. It was all Allah."

"Ok."

"Zeenat  think about it.Think about everything I told you. Think about what your mom use to say and then decide."

"Thank you Jahan. For everything. Even if I don't believe in many things but I always saw you as a blessing. "

"Calm down."

"Yeah."Zeenat said wiping her tears. 

That day Zeenat thought about everything her mother and Jahan told her.For the first time in her life she was thinking from all angles. She was trying to reason her father's every decision. She was trying to understand why Allah did all that. Soon her eyes was filled with water. She did this daily for the whole week till the time she finally understood what she wants to do.

Zeenat was trying to gather courage from a really long time but something was holding her back. It was late at night when it was time to sleep when she was finally able to gather enough courage to go to Jahan and say,

"Jahan tell me about Islam."