Have you ever broke down sobbing after so long of being strong? Crumbled to the floor, hand by your face. Your face scrunches up and you let out that first gasp. You try to be quiet but eventually it becomes loud, heartwrenching sobs. You cry and cry, so much you can’t breathe. You ask whoever’s up there, “Why? Why me? Why this? Why can’t I just be dead?” You say you want to end it all right there, right then. You sob, trying to grasp breaths in between. Eventually you completely collapse onto the floor after, and you just lay there, numb.

Having ANXIETY and DEPRESSION
is like being SCARED and TIRED
at the same time. It’s the fear of FAILURE but no urge to be productive.
It’s wanting FRIENDS
but hating to SOCIALIZE.
It’s wanting to be ALONE,
but not wanting to be LONELY.
It’s caring about EVERYTHING,
but then caring about NOTHING.
It’s FEELING everything st once, but then feeling paralyzingly NUMB.

That moment when you’re genuinely happy, and everything that depresses you erases from your mind. Then you start to think and everything that had left your mind for a moment comes right back. Everything that you wanted to stay away forever rushes in your head, and you’re back to being depressed all over again.

When I’m around people, it’s a distraction, so I don’t think about things as much as I would when I’m alone. When I’m around people I’m fine.
When I’m alone, it’s a whole different story. Between my two ears is my skull, and in my skull is my brain. Don’t leave me alone with myself.