•Based off of the song 'Meet Me In The Hallway' by Harry Styles. Pt. 1 out of 2.

•Warnings: angst.

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Anakin pressed his ear up against the cold, durasteel door that led into his apartment on Coruscant, hearing bellowing voices of laughter come from the inside, followed by streams of small conversations that were muddled by the exterior of the door.

She's having guests over, again? He thought, rolling his eyes. He turned away from the door, knowing his routine. Usually, whenever his wife would bring colleagues home from work, he would just turn away and make his way back to the Jedi Temple on a speeder and just spend the rest of the day there until her guests had left. He hated the secrecy, but her colleagues couldn't know that a Jedi, much less, Anakin Skywalker, claimed this apartment home.

He turned away to walk back down the hall like he usually did, although, he couldn't help but think of how all the secrecy was damaging your relationship.

For a year now, you both had been separated for long periods of time. It wasn't necessarily his fault, or he hoped, but it was the simple combination of not being able to see one another that burned a hole in the fabric of your very relationship.

He could tell that you were slowly drifting away, and for the time that you were together, he felt like you were becoming more and more of a stranger as time went on.

Anakin knew it wasn't just his fault, but he couldn't help but blame himself. Why couldn't he be there for you? Why couldn't he just leave the Jedi Order for you? Why couldn't he be the husband that you needed him to be? To be there for you? To hug you, and tell you that everything's gonna be okay? But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't, because of this idiotic, galactic war that kept him from coming home to you.

He even felt distant from you. He hated to admit it, but he felt like he was being pulled from you almost every day like someone was taking him away from you. He hated it.

Almost every time he had a chance to come home, he always felt like he could run into your arms and sweep you off of your feet in a matter of seconds, but yet, when he entered through the door and actually saw you, he could hardly bring himself to do it because he felt like he didn't know you anymore.

Although he would try desperately to try and save your relationship, truly he did. He would always sit down and ask about your day, or kiss you goodnight, or just talk about anything in general, but it always ended up blank, with no resolution. It was just awkward silence or poking at your food at the dinner table. He tried to save it because he loved you. He did, and still does, but he wasn't sure about the way you felt.

He could read your mind, and sense your emotions, but not really. He couldn't sense your deepest desires in your heart--things you kept hidden away from him, locked away in a cell in your mind. He just wasn't sure about the way you felt, and once again, he continued to blame himself for being such an awful husband.

I'm tired of this secrecy, his mind was racing with thoughts about walking straight in front of that group of politicians, and telling you how much he loved you, and how much he misses kissing you and touching you, how much he misses talking to you--he would spill his guts right there, right on to the floor, but he knew he would risk both of your jobs right then and there, and he didn't want to do that. Though, there was something else inside of him that was telling him otherwise.

With his heart thudding against his chest, he decided that he's had enough of this secrecy and that he's had enough of the lies, all of the deception--he was going to end it, today, and save your relationship all in one day. He knew it. He was the hero, after all. The Hero With No Fear is what they called him.

His heart was pounding now. He turned around and went back to the metal door and looked at the keypad next to the door. Without hesitation, he punched in the code to your apartment--the metallic doors slid open smoothly, revealing a group of senators sitting around on the lounge chairs, drinking out of small, dainty champagne glasses, all the while wearing their lavish outfits discussing possibly some important issues about the Senate.

Anakin stepped into the apartment with the door closing behind him, and only then did the senators notice him, and that's when you noticed him too.

You looked up from your group of colleagues and looked at the solemn Jedi that was your husband who stood at the entrance of your apartment. You rose an eyebrow, wondering why in the world had he come when he knew you had guests over?

"Master Skywalker!" You chuckled nervously, trying to sound lighthearted as possible in front of the senators. "What a surprise! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"(Y/N)." He stated your first name solemnly, completely skipping over the formalities, your heart skipped a beat. He never used your first name, unless you were in a private setting, and this was far from it. What was he trying to do?

All the senators in the room got quiet as they looked at the two of them, wondering what in the world was going on. They weren't blind to your nervous state, and they certainly weren't blind to Master Skywalker's informalities--no, this was personal. Something was going on alright, but they weren't quite sure what it was, yet.

"Master Skywalker," You repeated in a tenser tone, trying to hint at your husband that he needed to refer back to your formal name. "Is there something the matter?"

"Why yes, there is, (Y/N)," He apparently had gotten your message--his tone matched yours.

You sighed, setting down your glass on to the small coffee table that sat in front of the sofas. It seemed your husband was pining at something, though you weren't sure what. He looked angry; his eyes narrowed, his fists clenched at his sides, his chest rose up and down, but you weren't sure. You looked at all of the senators that sat around you, a curious look upon their faces. You gave them a small reassuring smile before standing up.

"Meet me in the hallway, Master Skywalker, I'll be with you briefly," You replied, hoping that it was something small and petty that could be handled quickly.

"Actually I was hoping I could talk to you about it right now. (Y/N), I'm--"

Your eyes widened, quickly realizing that he wasn't going to hold back. "Master Skywalker, I'll meet you in the hallway."

Anakin huffed, it seemed like he wasn't going to win this argument as he looked upon the crowd of terribly confused senators, along with your stern stature.

Anakin nodded to the group of senators and gave them a tight smile before turning back around and exited the apartment just like you had asked. He stood outside and waited, his heart still pounded in his chest.

Anakin stood there for a bit, waiting on you until he heard the swooshing of the doors, pulling his attention towards you as you stepped into the hallway. You placed your hands on your hips and raised an eyebrow, looking at him expectantly.

"What is it? I'm busy, " you told him bluntly, wanting to return back to your job.

Anakin nods, sighing, "I know, but I just... I couldn't get this off my mind."

"Well? What is it?"

He looked at you with pleading eyes--not a hint of empathy but sheer annoyance lingered in your signature--his heart heavy against his chest, he reached for your hands, but as soon as his fingers met yours, you ripped them away, averting your eyes from him.

Anakin's heart dropped. He looked at you, his mouth agape, wondering why in the world you would pull away from him.

"I'm... I'm afraid someone would see," you responded, keeping your gaze away from him. You knew that wasn't true, but instead, it was a lousy excuse for feeling like a stranger to him. You hadn't touched each other in months, the sudden feeling felt so foreign to you. You weren't sure what to do except pull away.

Anakin's eyes drifted to the floor, knowing the truth about your statement. He kept his eyes there, pondering on what in the world he could say to fix this, that was, until a knot was tying up in his chest. He knew what he needed to say, but he didn't know if he had the strength to do it.

"That's... That's exactly what I was going to talk to you about, " he mumbles, lifting his head, where you had also lifted your head, now both looking at each other.

You could feel your gut twist into a series of mazes--what was he going to say? Your relationship was on thin ice, this you knew, but you weren't sure how this was going to end up. Was he going to say what you thought he was going to say?

"What do you mean?" Your voice was soft and timid, almost afraid to find out.

"I mean, I'm tired of all of this secrecy. I'm tired of the lying, the deception--everything, " those words fumbled out of his mouth as if he were pouring them straight from his heart. He could feel the knot loosening in his chest while he continued, "It's hurting our relationship, can't you see it? It's hurting us. "

"Anakin, we have no other choice, " you told him. Your heart began to sink to your stomach. You weren't sure what to tell him. He was right, but what else were you supposed to do? Leave your jobs? Run away together off to some far off planet? No, that was unrealistic. That was a dream, dreams don't survive in the real world.

"Yes we do, " he insisted, his eyes were practically begging. He looked like he was in so much pain. "(Y/N), I love you. I could be a better husband, I could quit the Jedi Order for you, I could get better, I could--"

He continued rambling, but as you listened you couldn't help but hear white noise. You blanked, staring at the grey carpet in the hallway, your heart thudded against your chest.

You didn't know what to say. The fact that he still loved you was mind-boggling--you felt like a complete stranger to him, yet, he still harbored feelings for you. He still loved you. And the fact that he was willing to give up his life as a Jedi just so this awkward relationship could continue was baffling.

"(Y/N)? Are you listening?" He waved his hand in front of you, snapping you out of your daze.

"Anakin, no, you shouldn't quit the Jedi Order, you--" You started to say, but your impatient husband interrupted you once again.

"Of course I can, what do you mean? I-I, I can fix this, (Y/N), I can fix us. I just, I gotta get better, I can..." He kept rambling, but you couldn't help but look at his lost state, his hands flying everywhere, trying to explain himself, his desperate eyes followed his hands, drifting from your face to the ground--he was so lost and desperate.

You wanted nothing more than to hold him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but in reality, you knew it wasn't. Nothing was going to fix this stage in your relationship, nothing. No amount of apologizing, no amount of kissing, or touching, or holding--nothing.

But you felt so drawn to help, you wanted to help, but you just didn't know how. How? How were you supposed to fix this? Marriage counseling? A break? Therapy? Or what if you just... What if you just leaned in and kissed him, would that fix it?

While he was distracted, your fingers, trembling, reached up to Anakin's face, pulling him from his daze, he looked at you with wide, curious blue eyes, his words came to a hush. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, your eyes shut while your hands tentatively brushed against his jaw.

Anakin's eyes widened, surprised at your sudden kiss, something you hadn't done in months. His hands carefully wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him, he was melting into the kiss already, while you... You weren't so sure.

You wanted to feel like you were young again, all those years ago, wistfully hiding away, sharing desperate, forbidden kisses in the shadows, all the while being hopelessly in love, but you couldn't. You felt like you were kissing a stranger. You would give anything to fall back into Anakin's strong, safe arms, but it just didn't feel the same.

You pulled away, your heart fell into a pit in your stomach, a wave of remorse flooded your entire being. A lump formed in your throat as your worst predicament had been realized--you had fallen out of love. You didn't love him anymore. That kiss felt like nothing.

"Anakin... " Your voice was tight, clenched around the words that refused to stumble out of your mouth. You didn't want to say it, but you knew you had to.

"Yes, my love?" He brought his gloved hand up to caress your face but you pushed it away, your eyes averted his worrisome gaze.

"We... We can't do this, anymore. At least, for a while," you could feel hot tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. Your gut twisted back and forth, screaming for Anakin to just hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay, while another part of you was begging to get away from his hold, begging to leave this stranger alone.

"I uh... I don't... I don't understand, " his eyes looked to the floor, his face fell into complete confusion. Here he was, trying to do everything in his power to fix it, yet you were rejecting him.

You shook your head, deciding that you just needed to tell him straight. "I mean we need a break, Anakin. This, " you motioned between the both of you, your voice breaking, "This isn't good for either of us. "

At that second, Anakin's heart split into two, his throat clenched, he shook his head, unable to comprehend that you needed to get away from him. You'd been together for so long, and suddenly you were letting go of him? Of everything? Of all of the sleepless nights? Of all of the shared glances across the room? Of all of the promises?

His heart was swollen, bruised from your words, the feeling climbs through his throat until it reaches his head--the pain, it was so numbing. The pain slipped through his head until it reached his eyes until it turned into a physical form--tears slipped out of his tear ducts, slipping down his face, his heart now had shown his beating that he had taken.

"No, no, no, don't cry, " you croaked, your lip curled. You hated seeing Anakin in pain, no matter how much you fell out of love, you still felt like you needed to comfort him. You pulled him into a hug and immediately started brushing your fingers through his hair, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist while he nuzzled his tear-ridden face into the crook of your neck.

"I love you, (Y/N). I can't stand the thought of losing you, " his voice was muddled from being nuzzled into your neck, as well as the everlasting pain that rang through his chest.

You continued to stroke his hair, nodding. "I know you do, Ani. I know. "

"I just... I gotta get better (Y/N). I can fix this, and maybe we'll work it out. Just please... Take the pain away, " he was sobbing into your neck now, his arms squeezed tighter around your waist, not wanting to let go of your warm embrace.

You bit your lip as more tears continued to stream down your face. He was blaming himself for everything and it pained you to no end. None of this was his fault, if anything, it was yours. "Anakin... none of this is your fault. If anything, it's mine. But no matter who's fault it is, we need this break. We can work it out later... But we can't do this."

Anakin pulled away, his cheeks stained with tears, his eyes red from the strain. "I... I suppose you're right. " He looks down at the floor, still disappointed in himself that he couldn't save your marriage right there. "Well... Whenever you're ready... Just let me know, I'll be at the door, hoping you'll come around. I'll be ready."

You brushed a stray bang that lay in his face away, a small smile tugged at your lips. You always loved that about Anakin, he was always ready for a resolve. "We'll work it out. I promise. "

He smiled, giving you one last kiss on your forehead before you pulled away. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Hesitantly, you pulled away from him, your fingers slid down his arm, fingers still lingered with his before you turned away, leaning on the doorframe before entering the room full of impatient senators.

You nodded to him and punched in the numbers on the keypad, the door slid open, waiting for you to depart from Anakin.

With a final silent goodbye, you nodded, going into the apartment, the door closing behind you, leaving Anakin in the hallway, a silent wave of lonesomeness had returned to him--making him that lost little boy you had found all those years ago, all over again.

Afraid, and alone.

All over again.

We don't talk about it
It's something we don't do
'Cause once you go without it
Nothing else will do.