This novel is the first part of a trilogy and is structured on the Kabbalah, in part because my protagonist's mentor follows the path laid out by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, with a good sprinkling of Thelema tossed in, and both those orders, I am sorry to say, appropriated the Kabbalah for its own purposes, although I would like to iterate that the reality of Edwardian era cultural appropriation of course does not render the Golden Dawn path invalid for those who believe in it and follow it. Nor does it invalidate Thelemic magick for those who feel called to follow that path. I do have some rather strong and unflattering opinions about Aleister Crowley, the creator of Thelema, but they aren't relevant for the purposes of my book's plot, or for this discussion.

   Entire books have been written about the Kabbalah, both the original medieval Jewish form and the culturally appropriated Golden Dawn version. There is no way I could possibly explain the entire spiritual system in one brief afterword. I might as well define the universe and give three examples, or narrate the history of the Roman Empire in a page (briefly, concisely, and specifically!) The reader who is curious about all things Kabbalistic could do worse than to consult Wikipedia. See it as a starting point, not as a final destination.

   For further reading, if you are exploring the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn's interpretation of the Kabbalah, look for books written by Israel Regardie. If you want to investigate the intersection of the teachings of the Kabbalah with Western ceremonial magick and chaos magick, meanwhile, try Donald Michael Kraig. (On the other hand, if you would prefer to stick to the original stuff, reference the books my protagonist reads in the Hod chapter).

   I used the Tree of Life to structure and determine the plot of Ancilla, with most of the book chapters themed on the Sephiroth as my protagonist ascends the tree toward Heaven, right to the point where she falls from the heavens and hits the ground. The spheres are put in order from bottom to top to reflect the fact that my protagonist, like her mentor, is on a left-hand path of ascent, searching for gnosis and apotheosis through self-perfection. She follows the "lightning path" between spheres exactly, from bottom to top, as she searches for her Self.

   Here, then, are the meanings and traditional associations of the chapter titles. The sphere for each chapter determined each chapter's theme. I primarily use the Golden Dawn interpretations in Ancilla, rather than the traditional Kabbalistic interpretations. My protagonist's mentor and lover is not Jewish; he is Golden Dawn. Since he is the teacher in this book, his perspective is what is used to interpret the Sephiroth.

   On we go.

   There are three main parts of the Tree of Life. Usually, despite being tree parts, they are referred to as the three pillars of the Temple of Solomon, but I am going to try to stick with the tree analogy for the sake of simplicity, so I ask the reader to picture a tree with three trunks, which is not uncommon for birches. It also sometimes happens when a tree has been coppiced to produce canes.

   Imagine, then, a coppiced pomegranate tree that grows in a sheltered garden. It has three trunks. You are standing bolt upright, with your back against the middle trunk. The middle trunk is the main trunk, the trunk of balance.

   There are also two other trunks. The one on your left, Boaz, channels qualities ascribed to severity; the other, Jachin, the one on your right, qualities ascribed to mercy. Boaz is traditionally considered to be the feminine trunk, and its function is to set limitations, defining the terminus, the borders, parameters, and demarcation of a person's life. Jachin, the masculine trunk, pushes limits and overcomes when necessary.

   People who follow the ways of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn attempt to align themselves with the gender-neutral trunk of balance while also receiving the sap and nutrients (the wisdom) from the other trunks, so that no part of their Self starves and withers from neglect. Too much limitation is no way to grow. A total lack of boundaries, on the other hand, is indulgence and chaos, and can potentially result in violation of the Self, or the Selves of other people.

   Plot twist: This tree is rooted in Heaven and grows upside down.

   Most people who study Kabbalah hope to pull wisdom down the trunks from the Tree's divine roots. To climb the Tree of Life in an attempt to reach the roots and pass the gates of the eternal Garden involves a quest for the forbidden fruit of gnosis.

   Malkuth (the tenth sphere) is the physical realm, the manifestation, the Kingdom. It is the furthest sphere from Kether, which is the heavenly root of the tree; nevertheless, it is still part of the tree and thus has its own spiritual qualities. Malkuth gives tangible form to all the other Emanations (spheres, fruits) on the Tree of Life. It is the sphere of Ishim, souls of fire, the lowest rank of angels – angels who are like human beings. (Or, as the original members of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn phrased it, angels who are like men. Most of the original members of that order were men. And the eighteenth and nineteenth-century Freemasons, who the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn borrowed this appropriated interpretation of the Kabbalah from, were all men. The Ishim were angels who were "like men." Fancy that). Malkuth is part of the middle trunk.

   Yesod (the ninth sphere) is associated with pathways and roads, and with moonlight. Yesod pulls the sap of divine energy from on high so that the rest of the Tree may receive. Yesod is transitional. For this reason, I decided to make that chapter stream-of-consciousness, as if my protagonist was finding herself a path in a forest at night, lit by shifting moonbeams. Yesod is the sphere of Cherubim. Yesod is also part of the middle trunk.

   Hod (the eighth sphere) is generally associated with plans laid out, with research; traditionally, this sphere is also associated with prayer, worship, and submission to God. And with splendor and glory. And with passion and music. That's quite a lot of ground to cover. In this chapter, I used Hod for plans and schematics, but also for a terrible pun, because I couldn't resist the urge. In fact, my hod is full of puns. Hod is the sphere of the Bene Elohim, the Sons. That excuses my dad jokes. Hod is on the trunk of severity.

   Netzach (the seventh sphere) is the sphere of victory over obstacles. It is the juggernaut that knocks down and smashes everything in its path. In medieval Jewish tradition, this was the sphere of kindness, but it was a kindness that was preceded by a prelude of harshness. This was all about the concept of "cruel to be kind." It is a catharsis that removes heaps of dead and decaying debris, and there is nothing gentle about catharsis. Despite being on a masculine trunk, it's also the sphere associated with Venus, which is one reason my protagonist's close encounter with her "inner goddess" referenced Inanna/Ishtar, who was the goddess of love and war in ancient Mesopotamia. Use the words "inner goddess" around me at your own risk, especially if you couple that phrase with some nonsense about cheerleaders and pompoms. I will take your fifty tropes, turn them upside down, and shake them violently until loose change falls out of their pockets. Netzach is the sphere of the Elohim, the Godly Beings. Netzach is on the trunk of mercy.

   Tiphareth (the sixth sphere) is the sphere of balance, beauty, peace, and harmony. It is the center of the Tree of Life. If you were a nightingale sitting in the middle, singing a song, you would be in Tiphareth. Tiphareth is also where meditations and life lessons can get a little weird, making it the perfect sphere for a protagonist who is tripping balls as a result of an initiation ritual that worked perfectly well for its purpose but gave her the psychic equivalent of a bad sports injury. Tiphareth is the sphere of the Malachim, the angelic messengers. Tiphareth is of course on the middle trunk.

   Gevurah (the fifth sphere) is the sphere of harshness, severity, justice, and raw power; it is where strength is found by standing firm in the face of fear and adversity. Gevurah is the sphere of the Seraphim, the burning ones. Gevurah is on the trunk of severity.

   Chesed (the fourth sphere) is the sphere of gentleness, mercy, love, charity, and grace. It is the sphere of the Hashmallim, the softly glowing, amber ones. Chesed is on the trunk of mercy.

   Binah (the third sphere) is the sphere of intuitive understanding, self-awareness, womanly power, gestating motherhood, and the divine feminine: Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hekate, Demeter, Kali, Cybele, Mother Mary, and Sophia. It has been described as a "hall of mirrors." The fun thing about a hall of mirrors, of course, is that the mirrors can reflect, but they can also cause the person in the hall to get disoriented and lose their way. Binah is also associated with the color black, reflecting the fact that maternal power is sometimes nurturing, like fertile earth, and sometimes terrible, like the dark of night. It is the sphere of the Erelim, the brave ones. Binah defines Boaz. Binah is on the trunk of severity.

   Chokmah (the second sphere) is the sphere of divine wisdom and masculinity, of the soul, of fatherhood, and of flashes of wisdom that strike like lightning bolts. It is the beginning of creativity; it is holy fear and holy love. It is the face of that greatness that causes the human mind to gibber and turn to mush. It is the sphere of the Ophanim. Yes, those are the creepy angels that look like wheels within wheels, covered with eyes, and act like giant flying saucers or chariots. This seemed like a good place to return my protagonist to the beginning of her studies. Chokmah defines Jachin. Chokmah is on the trunk of mercy.

   Kether (the first and topmost sphere) is the sphere of divine glory. It is the root of the Tree of Life; it is pure consciousness. It is the Crown. It is beyond ordinary human comprehension. Oh, and according to Aleister Crowley, it is also Death. (Go figure). It is the sphere of the Hayot Ha Kodesh, the holy living ones. Kether is central.

   My protagonist does not master the lessons taught by Kether. She is not ready.

   The next book in this trilogy, Soror Mystica, will be structured on the alchemical process.

   One final structural note, this time on names: Logos is the idea, the inception; it is reason, order, form, and meaning; it is word made reality. The pure or ideal form of something defines the phenomenal forms that reflect the ideal. Logos is a running theme in Ancilla, and to bestow or claim a name or a label is an act of power. In keeping with the book's focus on self-determination, self-definition, self-perfection, and chosen destiny, I have therefore chosen to avoid labels and proper nouns for the duration of the book, except when using them is completely unavoidable.

   If named at all, characters get use-names based on function. Those "names" are subject to change. For instance, my protagonist's mentor starts out as Magister, but once he becomes more of a lover to her and less of a teacher, he becomes Erastes. My characters ascend or not as they see fit, as I write. I do not impose their evolutionary paths on them. I give them their structure, but they have their own Wills, and only they know their own Names.