Tonight, it rains. 

That's not to say it hasn't rained in the arena before--of course, it has. But tonight, it rains hard. Taura leaves me outside, because of course she does, and her group hunkers down inside the cornucopia while I stay right by the edge, Wyatt's sword constantly pointed my direction, his gaze wavering only to take the occasional glance at Taura's sleeping form. 

"Any chance you'll let me go?" I ask, half-joking and fully shivering, my body soaked to the bone. It feels as if I'm never going to be warm again, never going to sit on the beach and soak in the midday sun. 

And, who knows? Without Terra, maybe I won't. 

He looks away, frowning slightly, and I know I've broken him. I've found a chink in his armor, and I'll do whatever I can to force myself just slightly more in there. He seems loyal to Taura, but still human--human enough not to murder me just for the fun of it. 

"It's freezing out here," I say, shivering to accentuate my point, as if it isn't cold inside the cornucopia, as well. Wyatt is still silent, but the sea swells in answer, rising high up on the beach, falling back just as far. It roars with the Gamemaker's annoyance at my survival, and I wonder if eventually it's going to creep towards where I lay and swallow me up, pulling me down into its manufactured depths. 

Wyatt seems to notice my terrified stare towards the churning waves, and softens, just slightly. "If the water came up here, it would drown us all. You'll be fine."

He looks away, then, supposedly done with comforting me. I don't accept it. 

"Maybe they want to drown us all," I say menacingly, voice deep, reminiscent of ghost stories told around roaring campfires. I move to sit, barely holding myself upright, accidentally seeming even weaker than I believe I truly am--which is fine, it works in my favor. "Maybe they hate Taura just as much as I do."

"Don't talk about Taura like that," he snaps, losing his stony composure, and I am hit with a wave of deja vu. 

Maybe me and Wyatt are more alike than I'd thought. 

"I can talk about her however I want," I retort, partially because I mean it, and partially because even angry Wyatt would be more interesting than expressionless Wyatt, and something exciting will take my mind off the cold. Might even give me a chance to get out of here, if I'm lucky. 

"And why's that?" he asks, gripping the hilt of his sword. Wyatt doesn't share Taura's southern accent; instead he is careful with his words, pausing before each sentence to make sure he's using the right ones. Even then, his syllables are slippery, falling from his mouth too quickly or dripping like honey, neither seeming quite right. 

"She fucking murdered Terra," I spit, lashing forward against my bonds. I don't mean to hurt him, even to touch him, but still he jumps, and I smile. God, that feels good. I'd told Apollo of my hurt, but it feels better to scream it, to scare this armed boy using nothing but my hatred. 

"Like Terra was innocent," he fires back, after another one of those slight pauses he seems to favor so much. 

"Like any of us are!" I exclaim quickly, voice rising higher. Inside the cornucopia, Lua stirs, rolling over to her other side. Both of us watch her move, silent, thinking. 

My words seem to bite a chunk out of both me and Wyatt, deepening the chip on our shoulders that broke off the moment we stepped into this arena. 

It's true. It's true, and I would not like to admit it, but I am not innocent, either. I've done my best to be--I've misdirected Terra's arrow, and I've fought to defend the lives of me and the others I'm surrounded with, but in the end, Terra is dead because of me. Mei and Orion lost their lives attacking me. Who cares if I was not the one who delivered the killing blow?

I am still a murderer.

I intake a sharp breath of air, feeling something in me collapse. I had been holding on to the last dregs of my supposed goodness for a long time, but with Terra's death and my recent outburst, I can feel them snap, falling to bits inside the cavity of my chest, landing in the puddle where surely the rain has seeped through my skin, sloshing about inside me and staying forever, just like my memories of this moment will. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to do without that hope. Who am I, if not selfless? What sort of person can I be if I am not the one who would rather die than kill?

I don't know. I may never know.

And yet, some things I do know. One of those things is that the look Wyatt has on his face as he stares at me, watching my epiphany, is most certainly pity. 

I fix my expression, letting it fall into a glare instead, and he looks away. 

It's a long moment before either of our mouths form words, and obviously, he speaks first. "It's okay to not be blameless. Having faults is normal."

I know, I want to scream at him, to spit in his face until he shrinks away, but of course I don't. I know that everyone has faults! I know because I have seen them firsthand, in my own fucking father. But not everyone's faults are the murdering type. No, that's just me, isn't it? 

How could I have fucked up this bad?

Instead, I stay silent. Wyatt stubbornly (just like me) keeps speaking, not letting me back down from this particular conversation. 

"It's okay that you hate Taura, too. I can't force you away from that feeling." He says, not looking at me but instead out at the forest, tone soft and low. The sky is slowly filling with streaks of pastel light as dawn approaches, and I know that soon, the rest will wake. 

"God, what are you, my therapist?" I snap back, annoyed.

There is a small rustling from the back of the cornucopia and Taura emerges, lazily dragging an arm around Wyatt's waist. "Don't you dare, Four."

Wyatt glances down at her, expression softening, and I scowl in exact juxtaposition. 

"We were just talking," Wyatt says quietly, turning to Taura as if only she can hear, even though it's clearly obvious that I'm right here. 

"You know why she's here," Taura murmurs back, looking up at him. Wyatt isn't too much taller than her, Taura already being above average in height, but the District Five boy is broad and skinny, taller than most. 

"She's human, too," he responds, drawing my gaze back to the pair of them from where it had been lingering on the edges of the forest, plotting escape. A small fluttering ignites in my stomach--not for Wyatt himself, but for his words, for the acceptance I had so rarely received.

It feels stupid that it took someone merely admitting my humanity for that to happen, but it's true. From Taura's expression, I can tell that she almost doesn't believe it. 

"I'm also right here," I mutter, not really expecting an answer. Surprisingly, Taura turns, still leaning against Wyatt as she reforms her loving glance into an ugly glare directed straight at me. 

"Your blond boy doesn't care as much as we'd thought, huh?" she grins, showing off long teeth and stepping back into the cornucopia, trailing her hand down Wyatt's forearm before finally losing contact, rousing Lua slowly, the small girl blinking and pushing her hair out of her face.

"It's dawn," Wyatt says to me, moving to help me to my feet. I push him away once I am standing, not wanting any sort of prolonged contact, but his sword is still resting in his hand, so I assume Taura isn't letting me get off easy on this one. 

"Okay, so what?" I grumble, yawning, a wave of exhaustion sweeping over my body. The rain has slowed, but just slightly, soft rays of sunlight peeking through the heavy gray (fake) cloud cover. 

Wyatt's expression becomes grim. "It's time to hunt."

i'm rly just churning out these chapters aren't i? well, here's another. not gonna announce this one bc i really only have one reader anyways (love u sm oxceen <3), but it's kinda just a filler chapter anyways, to extend the plot and introduce a few characters.

please feel free to comment (although ig you've already finished this chapter so maybe it's too late to ask for that)! i love hearing feedback and responses.

hope u enjoyedddd (and the next chapter's gonna be even more interesting 👀)

<3