Alright, it's time for me to say what I need to say.

These past few weeks have been hard, mentally for me, and they've been rough, really rough. I've done my best to look fine but in reality, I'm at war with myself.

I know why I'm feeling like this. I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of being alone, whatever phobia you might call that. I'm also afraid that I'm not going to be able to be who I want to be, live the life I want to live.

Every relationship I've had has turned out bad, in the end. None of them have had a happy ending of such, and they all have left me feeling incomplete, like I'm missing something. I feel this path I've taken has come to an end, like I can't be happy like this now, constantly being afraid of everything.

So as of today, I'm going back to trying to update noir, finishing it for good this time. I'll find out what I want to work on next but till then, I want that love story to be done. I need to tie it up and finish it. I don't know when I'm going to do this but I'm going to strive to.

Next, it's time I came out of the closet.

I'm Pansexual, though I have a lean towards feminine attributes. I thought long and hard about this and I thought long and hard about who I am. There have been some people I've been attracted to that weren't female, mainly non-binary people, and some guys, before I came to wattpad. Course that was the time that both gender and sexuality were in question so yeah, yeah. I'm male, I know that, but as to what I like I'm unsure of. I'm saying I'm pan and that's what I will identify as, but I may be more straight, I don't know. I'm exploring this, it's really new for me, so please be patient.

so there you go—

I came out—

gonna go lurk now

bye——