Reviewer: AnnQueen5

Cover: Simple, yet cute.

Review: It's a fairly decent story, but quite difficult to follow. Honestly, half of the time, I didn't understand what was going on. That's understandable, as this is a fanfiction, but I still felt like I was wandering around in a sea of confusion. When you write fanfiction, it isn't necessary to know the world it's written in, but you should at least understand the characters and plot. This plotline is all over the place, jumping from place to place. Overall, I thoroughly did not enjoy this read.

Suggestions: Firstly, grammar. Grammar is huge in writing because if your readers don't know what you are saying, how will they enjoy the story? The grammar in this book is a mess, and it makes it even harder to follow than it would be if it had good grammar. Secondly, the characters are so bland and absolutely have no life to them. Characters are what fuel a story, make it good. Having fully complex characters will make the story more interesting and better to read. Lastly, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make this story less rushed and give it development. The story should be set up in the first chapter, not with big plot points being introduced immediately. Overall, the plotline of this story is a mess, and I advise the author to fix it as soon as possible in future revisions.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars