A/N : Guys you have already showered a lot of love on this OS, thank you for that, if you liked it enough, do give it another read here :)

Happy Reading~

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Not often in life, we are presented with an opportunity, opportunity would be a less impactful word here, what I mean is a choice – the luxury of choice. Mostly the things that happen around us are all ripple effects of things that people do collectively and at an individual level we are mostly reacting to it. However, if you're lucky, once or twice in a lifetime, the universe gives you the luxury of choice, the choice to make, not merely react, a cause to which others will react; I Prerna Sharma, have been lucky that the universe chose me for making one such choice in my otherwise mundane life.

My life has always revolved around Anurag, from the time we first set our eyes on each other. He was my childhood friend, who had abandoned me because I cheated in a game, he was my teenage romantic partner who had to abandon me to marry someone for the greater good; he was also the father to my long lost baby girl, who abandoned me for money and left me to die on a bride top. I'm sure you see the commonality in all these circumstances of my life, the common thread being, one way or the other, Anurag always found a reason to abandon me, and I have always reacted to his choices.

I didn't have a choice when he married the other woman Komolika, I definitely didn't have a choice when I married Mr. Bajaj, what end was greater than saving Anurag for me? I didn't have a choice when he forgot about me and our child, neither did I have a choice to fight when he decided that I was not worth living and pushed me off that bridge. I held a grudge against the universe for as long as I can rememebr, for always leaving me to react to others choices, and if there was one thing I ever truly wanted, was to have a choice one day; and so much later in life that day came.

Those were dark days; the world was plagued by a disease so bad and contagious that everyone who got the disease succumbed to it. I had lived a full life by then, a fulfilling life of partnership and co-parenting with Mr. Bajaj who had decided to stand strong with me, love and protect me when Anurag left me to die all those years back. Suddenly one fine day, the news came that Anurag was affected by the disease, the very disease of death, and as were the rules of those days, all infected patients were put on a ship and set to sail, with medication – was it cruel, yes it was, but what choice did we have, no one was ready to fight for a handful of unfortunate men which would bring the life of millions to risk. It was said that the patients would help each other until they finally succumbed and later the ship were to be destroyed right in the middle of the oceans to save the world from infection.

I was at the dockyards to see Anurag one last time, I went there before I knew it, I just reached. I may have had a choice at that point to make, a choice to go or not to go, but I don't remember exercising it, it felt pre-decided. I went there and I saw him weak and being carried to the ship, once again I found myself rushing into that ship without exercising the luxury of my choice that the universe had finally left on me. I didn't think if I stepped into that ship that'd be the last thing I do, there will be no out. I didn't tell anyone at home that I was going out, let alone forever, there would be loved ones waiting for me back at home, but I plunged into the ship of death anyway. That is when I realized the myth of choice – you don't consciously make one. Sometimes, some lives are so important to us, that you'd do just about anything for them, and you'd not even think of the consequences of your actions. It may seem like my plunging into the ship was an act of choice, something I did because I wanted to, but no. There was no room for choice here – if I were choosing at all, the choice was really all or nothing - between all that was left for me in the world or nothing that Anurag now meant to me, but I stood by nothing, it felt pre decided that I'd go this way.

So essentially if there was ever a choice to make, I had subconsciously made it ages before I landed in that dockyard, if I had to leave it all behind, and go on an unending journey with just one thing, even despite our tumultuous life and my apathy for the said human, it'd always be him. I'd always choose Anurag, I'd hate him, but I'd choose him.

I know all my loved ones in the shore would reprimand my action, never understand me, hate me, much like I hated Anurag all my life, but there is no other way I see it working out ever, every time I'm given a choice between my everything and nothing, the choice will always be made, I'd choose nothing, I'd choose my Anurag – maybe that's how he chose me all my life, as his nothing?

Today sailing in the seas awaiting death, holding hands and watching the sunset, never questioning or explaining to each other about the detrimental life choices we made in the shore, Anurag and I realised all over again, we'd always find ourselves back here in this ship every single lifetime, this is love actually.

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Guys before I leave, thought I'd import all the lovely comments you guys have shared on this story when it was published as an induvial story - couldn't put it here leaving the original story cover and your comments behind!

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