Will You Be Mine 2023 Third Place Winner

Immortal Rain by PerpetualPisces

"The fog was you? I almost ran into a headstone back there. And you're using the Shrine? I thought you were above this," I rage at my ex-fiancé, stomping through the scattered cherry blossoms to exit the shrine's nearest door.

I stalk past her ceremonial hanbok, boxy fabrics of white and red with gold embroidery. I ignore her as she scrambles to take off her ceremonial fox max, the kind that covers the top half of the face, leaving her sharp jawline exposed. Even just a quick glimpse as I walk by is enough to let me know that even if I haven't seen her for a year, that her face is exactly the same as the day she left. I don't need a refresher to know what she looks like.

I would never be able to forget the face of an immortal.

Min is a nine-tailed fox spirit, one of nine. I thought her devious ways were behind her when she accepted my proposal sixteen months ago. I thought everything had been perfect those six months, up until the day of the wedding.

I had been dressed in a ceremonial blue hanbok when my mother delivered the news. Standing alone in front of a mirror, making sure I looked my best for when I would meet my bride. I had wanted to make sure I at least looked good enough for her because no human would ever really be good enough for Min.

Then it started to rain, even though there was none in the forecast. It has been sunny until the hour before.

My mother made me sit before delivering the news. Min had disappeared.

A search party had looked around the grounds of the Shrine with now luck. The last place I combed was her bridal suite, to look for clues of foul play. But there were none, in fact, there was something else. She had left three words on a card in her bridal suite. She had the audacity to stain it with a single tear.

I should have known when it rained. It only rains on sunny days when a nine-tailed fox cries.

To everyone else in my family, there was nothing for them to say other than to blame the bride. She was the one that had run. One-hundred of our closest friends and family had been gathered to celebrate a love that seemed inevitable.

The literature and the mythology professors, the two youngest members of our college faculty. We had even grown up in the same town. Of course we had been destined to end up together. And of course, the woman who seemed to only be interested in myths and legends would become one on the day of her wedding.

Everyone else blamed her for the canceled wedding. Everyone said that I was the victim, being left at the altar.

But I know the truth.

It was all my fault.

I tried to create an impossible life. I made us lie to ourselves, to fool ourselves into believing that we really could defy fate.

Her fate as an immortal fox spirit.

And my fate as a mortal man.

"No! Siwon, please!" Her human feet, which are graceful but nowhere near as graceful as her fox feet, patter along the wood floors of the Shine. I weave through the halls, not looking back.

The structure is painfully familiar.

I was last here a year ago, on the day of the wedding. It had been here at her instance, because the Shrine is for her.

I stalk past a statue of a nine-tailed fox at the exit.

I pass another as I walk as quickly as possible without drawing attention from the other guests of the Shrine. They're respectful people, walking quietly and with reverence to the fierce spirit this structure is dedicated to.

The haze of the fog and the voice that somehow brought me here fades from memory. I shake the magic from my head, replacing it with the anger of being tricked by my ex. My sneakers kick up dry dirt as I speed walk to the stairs leading down from the mountain.

The sun is high in the sky, another clear day with a clear forecast. The heat of spring in Seoul means sweat is gathering at the base of my neck even without the exertion of running from my ex. I bow at a few monks as I exit the grounds, unable to just walk past them because I know first hand what their work means.

Diligent monks. Ancient traditions. Reverence. All of these keep Min's form alive. Having followers that keep this shrine, her shrine, in almost the same condition as it was when she was first born ages ago, is the only reason she's the last goddess that can walk on the earth. There had been a close call twenty-eight years ago, resulting in her rebirth in this town. In my hometown.

The monks are the reason why the love of my life can chase me across the grounds and then follow as I go down the steps, back to the city.

Min's hanbok, her traditional Korean clothing, is gone. She's back to wearing modern clothes, soft fabrics in shades of white that are just a touch softer than the ethereal color of her fox fur when she's in her other form. When she's a nine-tailed fox.

Even in her human form, humans stare. It's impossible not to. Perfect skin, petal pink lips, clear amber eyes, and grace that can only come from someone who knows that the solid earth beneath her feet would never dare to hurt her.

Or perhaps everyone is staring at her because she's walking barefoot on hot stone steps in the middle of late spring.

"Siwon, please. Just give me a minute, I can explain everything," she begs. Her voice is still sweet and full of charm even when she's in pain. My heart aches, but I keep going down, two steps at a time. There's two-thousand steps to the bottom of the mountain.

I would know, I've traversed them a dozen times.

Going down is supposed to be the easier path. But going down while avoiding heavy tourist traffic is much more difficult than accidentally wandering into the Shrine through a magic garden.

"You don't need to explain, there's nothing left to be said." I focus on my feet, keeping the emotions from my voice. I estimate that I'm one-fourth of the way down.

"I love you." It's a phrase she's said before. It's a phrase I've said before. So one would think I'd be used to it. That it wouldn't surprise me.

But I am a stupid mortal man, for it surprises me. I miss a step and then gravity takes hold of my descent. My heel misses a step and I twist to avoid a child coming up the opposite direction. I misjudge the angle and the stone steps rush towards my face-

"Siwon!"

I awake in a bed of soft earth. Vibrant cherry blossom trees rise above me, pink flutters down to the edges of my vision like thousands of mini-butterflies. I blink to rid a few that fall on my face, they fall off like velvet rain. Birds and creatures tittering in the background.

Beneath, insects and small animals dig through the earth. The sound of the scavenging reaches me on the surface, their energy and life enough to stir a curiosity in me. I wonder what life is like down there, for the little ones of the forest. I focus on the trees above me again.

The petals are falling, some of them faster than others. But they're joined by soft rain. Little bits, just enough to fall through the dense covering above.

My ears go from focusing on the creature in the earth to a soft sound. The sound of muffled tears and unwelcome snot being wiped from a mythical nose.

I sit up, hyper aware of everything around me. It's as if the light in the world has been dialed up five times. I can see every detail of each petal falling through the air. I can see the trails that the ants have left in the dirt. Small animals that are trying to hide from me but want a glimpse out of curiosity, are visible at a distance I've never been able to notice animals before.

But I don't see any humans.

Behind a wide cherry blossom tree, one that must be at least five hundred years old, Min hugs her knees. Her face is buried into her legs so that I can't see her tears. She's always said she cried too ugly for a spirit, that the other spirits used to make fun of her crying face when they were growing up ages ago.

Above, rain filters through the cherry blossoms. It falls onto the tops of my shoulders, starting to make their way through my white collared shirt. They fall onto the pink petals carpeting the forest floor.

But the rain doesn't fall on the fox girl crying beneath the tree.

I kneel slowly, she doesn't look up.

My heart clenches, hating the sound of her sadness. I put a hand over her's, trying not to startle the beautiful spirit. She scrambles back.

Her nails extend into dark claws. White whiskers sprout from her face, her sharp nose scrunches. Amber eyes turn dark and she snarls in a way that sends chills down my spine.

Then she recognizes me and the dark malice in her eyes melts into surprise.

"Siwon!" She reaches out, claws turning back into soft human hands, and wraps me in a hug so tight she drags us both to the ground. "You're alive!"

"Did you expect me to be something else?" I ask, unable to hide the amusement in my voice even though I want to be mad at my ex-fiancé. I breathe in, my heart warms with her scent. The cherry blossoms, her tears, her spirit.

She smells timeless, like the knowledge hidden in the wisdom of a magical forest. She smells like the stars and of worlds that I've never been to but have dreamed of ever since she introduced me to the idea that there's a realm of the gods.

I had dreamed of walking there, at her side.

"I thought I was too late," she says into my pressed shirt. Her sharp nose digs into the center of my chest. She turns her face so her cheek molds into my sternum, the way she used to hug me. Instinctively, I bring my arms up to hold her against me.

Tears continue to fall from her face and from the sunny skies.

It's because she's sad. I tell myself. I'm only holding her to stop her tears, not because I think she's beautiful. I try to remind myself that this is the same spirit that left me at the altar exactly twelve months ago. She was the reason I dreaded this spring. All of last summer, fall, and winter, I dreaded the days that would look like the day that she left.

But when I bring my arms up to comfort her, folding my fingers against her strong arms, all I can think about is how right she feels. Her heart against mine, comforting even though we're two different beings. She's from a completely different realm. I try not to be intoxicated by her charm, by the scent that she's used for eons to trap human men to be her prey.

But then I feel something else.

It's not just her heart beat that thuds with a different rhythm, a rhythm of the spirits and immortals, it's mine. Where Min's cheek is pressed into the center of my chest, something else warms.

"Min..." My voice trails off, both confusion and fear trickle into my consciousness. "What did you do?"

"I had to do it. Your head, you cracked it falling down the steps. I could see everything. Your blood, your life- it was all leaving you." She says into the fabric of my shirt. Her tears soak through, chilling two small spots on my chest. She stains the fabric with tears like the rain from above. "I had to give you a bead."

My blood runs cold.

"But you'll die!" My voice echoes in the clearing. Petals rush down around us, the trees disturbed by our distress. Disturbed by my distress. "Take it back!" I demand. She shakes her head at me.

"No, I won't. It's not my bead. It's yours." She looks up, her hair falling away from her swollen eyes. Bright amber eyes lock with my dark ones.

There's something different about them. Now that I'm face-to-face with my ex. There's a different kind of light there, one that shifts even though there's nothing changing with the light.

"What do you mean it's mine?" I'm not following, nine-tailed-fox spirits only have one bead. It's a physical manifestation of their immortality, to give it to another temporarily is to give them the ability to heal themselves, but at a cost.

She'd done that once for me. She'd given me her bead when we were children, when I had almost died saving her from a lake. I'd pulled her out but been too exhausted, collapsing and almost freezing to death.

Only decades later had Min told me that she lost time that day. She'd given up a thousand years of her once immortal life so that I could live my mortal one.

"I created that bead for you," she says, touching the center of my chest with a single finger. Her skin is soft and luminous, like moonlight.

"But you said that only the Nine-Tailed Goddess can-" I stop, looking down at a small silver crown that's appearing in her hair. Silver wire and gems appear like they're being drawn against her dark strands. They glow with the same moonlight energy as her skin, visible even in the daylight. "You became the Goddess."

The truth of my words rings deep into the earth. The creatures around us whimper, the earth shudders, the trees groan. Everything around us moves, as if to bow their respects to the goddess among them. I keep my arms gently cradled around her as I sit us up.

The smoothness of my movements seem curious, much smoother than what I thought myself to be capable of. My ears flick back and forth, and that's when I realize I'm able to move them with a dexterity that isn't human. I reach up, smooth fur coats the sides of my head, along with my fox shaped ears.

Min watches my face, gauging my reaction. Her tears have stopped and so has the rain.

"And I've made you my ninth fox."

"Are you immortal again?" I ask, she nods. A knot that I didn't realize was in my chest releases. "And you made me an immortal nine-tailed-fox."

It's not a question because I can feel the truth.

"I had to fight the other eight to become Goddess. The last goddess died on this day last year," she says, adjusting the elegant crown on her head.

"That's why you couldn't stay." Min once told me the journey to the other world, the world of spirits and immortals, was at least a day's journey. She told me that information always reached her late in the human world.

"The fight lasted until two days ago," she says. Her shoulders drop, and I can finally see that the light in her eyes, the new light of being the Goddess, is accompanied by exhaustion. The skin under her eyes is puffy, as if she hasn't slept in days. "I had a day to set my affairs in order, and then I came as soon as I could."

I lift her left hand, bringing it up between the two of us. She is still wearing the small diamond engagement ring I bought years ago. I bought it before we were dating, hoping to have the courage to one day ask the most beautiful spirit in existence to marry me. I look from the modest ring to her gentle expression.

"I love you," I say slowly. The world, which for a moment felt so large and intense with all the new senses coming to me through the nine-tailed-fox bead, shrinks. Almost as if I had zoomed out of this forest and out of this world to zoom back to just the two of us. "You leave terrible messages, but I never stopped loving you."

A man and a goddess. Or rather, a spirit and his goddess.

"I love you," she says back. A small smile picks up at the corner of her pretty lips. "Thank you for waiting."

The three words on the tear stained card she had left. The three words that had both broken me and given me hope.

I never told anyone about those three words. I was the one to find the card, hidden in the bouquet of white roses she had abandoned in her bridal suite the day of the wedding.

Wait for me.