It was almost eleven on Friday night. Another game had come and gone and another win to stash on our record. I had just changed into my pajamas which consisted of boxer shorts and a tank when Valentina's name appeared on my phone screen.

I knew she was at a party with some of the other cheerleaders. It was a common Friday night plan. I answered the phone curiously.

"Yeah, Val?"

"Briarrrrr," she whines into the line. Her voice drags and she giggles a little bit. "I need you, Bee."

"You need me for what?"

"Mmmm," she starts, but then she gets distracted by something or someone around her. "Oh yeah," she remembers me again. "I'm stuck here."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at Mason's house for that victory party he's throwing. Only I think my ride just ditched me to go fool around with her boyfriend. So not cool, am I right?"

"Yes, Val. You are very right," I respond.

"Yes, exactly. You know I really wish you would start coming to these again. I know you would never leave me behind like this. OOOH! He was a lava lamp in his room!"

"In whose room Val? Where are you?" I question a little more urgently now. Valentina is alone and drunk and apparently in a room now all by herself. Or not. "Val, tell me where you are. I'll come for you right now."

"Oh right yes. I need a ride, mhm."

It took me a good five minutes to finally get Val to send me her location. I threw on a jacket, something oversized and baggy to cover up a little, and drove to the house where Val sent me.

I'm outside. I sent the text and anxiously waited for her reply. There were cars lined up in the driveway of the big house. I could see people going in and out. There must have been kids here from other schools as well as ours.

I look at my phone again. Minutes pass by and no little dots appear of her acknowledging my message. I give her a call only to hear the sound of the ring stretching on until I get the automated voicemail.

I turn the keys out of my ignition and take a deep and long breath. I would have to go in there and find her. Even though I haven't been to a party in months. Even though the last party I went to was a shit show of disaster. I swore off parties for the rest of my high school career and yet here I was again.

In and out, Briar. Just find Val and take her home. Then you go back home by yourself. I take one more breath for confidence before getting out of the car and walking to the door.

The door opens just in time for me to walk through it when someone leaves. I'm hit with the party air immediately as I make it through the threshold. People are everywhere.

I look around already searching for my best friend. I assume she would be upstairs but I still take a sweep of what's going on here. I don't want to miss her just in case she came this way.

I have to nudge my way through people and I'm already exhausted of it. I can't believe I enjoyed this setting just a few months ago. A few familiar faces from school begin to notice me as I walk through the house. I ignore their stares and their hunched-over postures as they gossip to their friends. Just find Val and take her home.

I see a boy watching me in a different way and hope he leaves me alone. Then, he makes his way over and offers me a drink. I tell him I'm just here looking for a friend and luckily enough, he takes the message easily. I'm about to make my way up the stairs when I hear my name being called.

I turn in the right direction and Myles is marching over to me with a wide grin. "What are you doing here? Did you bring Roman too?" he shouts over the music.

"No, I'm here for Val! She called me a little while ago, I just need to take her home!" I shout back.

His smile turns into a frown and he looks around. "Uh, I haven't seen her for a while. How about I help you find her?"

I almost cry in relief. "Yes, please! Can you finish checking down here and meet me upstairs if you see her? I'm going to keep calling her cell, it might help if you do the same!"

He nods his head and we part ways. I pass the couple groping each other on the landing and weave my way through a few people coming down. The music travels all the way up the stairs with me but at least I can hear myself think up here.

I try the door immediately to the right but it's locked. I knock hard on it. "Val?" I question. There's no answer. I call her cellphone and listen for the ring but there's nothing on the other side of the door. I know Val keeps her sound on, so I move on down the hall.

This house is too big, I complain in my head as I look from one room to the next. I found one empty room and was yelled at by a couple in the next. I continued down the hall when I ran right into someone's chest coming out of the bathroom.

I feel my stomach drop down to my toes. Axel Monroe was the last person I wanted to run into tonight. The very last person and of course I find him before Val.

He laughs out loud like he just heard the funniest joke. "What are you doing here, sunshine?"

My insides churn and I don't have a response for him. He wobbles a little on his feet. I thought Axel was bad enough when he was sober. I don't say anything at all before I move to go around him. I make it past his shoulder when his hand clasps my elbow.

"I'm not here for you," I snap at him. "I'm here for my friend and then I'm leaving." I pull my arm back and walk a few steps away.

"No," he says behind me as if he were talking to a toddler who got into something naughty. Then his hand yanks me back by the forearm and I cringe into him to relieve the sudden pain. He ignores my exclaim and squeezes tighter.

"You just got here, Briar. I made a promise to you, don't you remember?" His smile makes me sick. "All year long, sunshine," he teases and laughs at his own quote.

I feel the panic settle in my core as he pushes both our bodies back into the bathroom before he slams the door shut behind us. "Axel, stop it."

I push into his chest and twist my arm against his hold. He doesn't budge and the pain around my arm intensifies. He lets go for a moment, only to lift me onto the counter.

His hands run up my bare thighs before he snatches both my arms to hold them in place so I stop beating at him. "Stop!" I cry.

"I don't want to," he slurs and then buries his face into my neck. I feel his lips dragging down from my jawline to my collarbone and I cringe into my shoulder to try to nudge his head away from mine.

Flashbacks crash into my memory, one moment after the next until I can't breathe anymore.

I can barely differentiate between this moment and the past. I don't understand where I am or where I was when it happened last or where it's happening now.

I just know the feeling of unwanted hands on me. The feeling of desperation, of wanting to be anywhere else but this moment.

I try to keep fighting and I know he gets more frustrated. He tugs at my shirt and mumbles into my skin. "Just let me-"

"Briar, you up here?" I hear Myles shout from down the hall. "I think I just found her!"

Axel's hold loosens on me and I use the small distraction to shove him back with everything I have in me. He didn't move much but I manage to get my foot in between us and kick him as hard as I can manage. I don't even have time to aim, I just throw my foot out and hope for the best.

He grunts and doubles over, stepping away from me in the process. I drop myself from the counter and yank the door open before he can pull himself together again. He yanks on my jacket before I tug it back away and make it out the door.

I focus my breathing and settle my panic. I don't see Myles right away so I use every second I can get to act calm again, even though everything in me is screaming the exact opposite.

"Briar?" I hear Myles shout from down the hall again. It was coming from the opposite side of the stairs. I keep taking deep breaths and count every step I take in my head. It takes eighteen before I find Myles and Valentina.

"Beeeee! There you are," Val's happy voice greets me as I step into the room. My beautiful happy drunk best friend beams at me and I soak in every ounce of relief in seeing her. I put on the show of my life to match her smile.

"There you are," Myles complains. "I was worried she wouldn't unlock the door from the sound of my voice."

I barely hear Myles as I march towards Val, barely hear her reply to Myles either. It went something like, "It's because you're a boy and boys are icky. I guess you're okay sometimes but-"

I wrap my arms around her and hug her so tight I might be squishing her lungs. She giggles under me and hugs me back and all I want to do is cry buckets. I'm so tired. I'm so drained of keeping up this pretense of happiness all the time. I just want to cry until I run out of tears and I don't feel it anymore.

But I work harder than I ever have tonight. I make it to my car with Val strapped in the passenger seat. I drop her off at her house and pull into my driveway.

I make it up the stairs and wrap myself in my sheets before I let the first tear out and lose count of each one after.

A/N: I just wanted to reiterate the fact that I don't put trigger warnings on top of chapters anymore. I feel it messes with the flow and makes things too predictable.

However, I still try not to write anything too graphic.

If you need to go over the trigger warnings please refer back to authors note at the beginning of the story! Take care of YOU❤️

Thank you for reading & I hope to see you Friday!