july 4th, 2021

lately, the more i push myself, the less i get done. i used to thrive on pressure, racing deadlines to get all of my work done on time. not just done but also perfectly done.

but when you push and push, there's eventually a point where you can't anymore.

the slightest touch feels like screaming in pain, and the pain just keeps adding up. pushing no longer helps. it makes it worse.

but if i'm burnt out, why do i feel like i'm on fire? why do i feel like i'm still burning?

and when will the fire in me go out?