Captain crystals POV

I saw Jamie walk to the tank after his outburst, I wanted to shout back but I couldn't and I wanted to embrace him, to help him feel love.
I don't know if it's because of what I heard him say, his ability as a soldier or the fact that he is a boy, but I want to.
"What just happened ?!, did he just contemplate suicide ?!" Said Captain Maku, "I hope he doesn't do it" said some one else, "... And all this started because of he captured one prisoner, and acted kindly" said someone else in disgust, but if it was at the fact he was good to a prisoner or to those who questioned him was beyond me.

"Well, I'll go talk to him, and..." I was cut off by Helena with the rest of my tank crew behind her, "no, we will go to him, he is our loader, apart of our crew, so we should talk to him" she said, I nodded and the four of us walked to the Firefly.

Jamie's POV

I just sat in the tank, my pistol in my left hand, I was stuck in a sea of pure thought, I had an urge to shoot myself, but it's just an urge, not my will, 'all the time, I get questioned, I kill the enemy, someone questions me, I save the enemy, people think I'm crazy, there is no pleasing some people anymore' I thought, then heard the hatch in the turret open, and saw my crew come in to the tank, I sat with my back to the shells in the rack.

"Hey, Jamie" I heard Crystal say, I didn't look up, but I sensed that my crew had come to check on me, "ma'am, is there something you require ?" I asked, not looking up, I was in the curled up position, my ankles were up to my head, I pistol was visible, "no, but I guess you require something, because you don't have to kill yourself" she r plied, then Helena spoke up, "we don't hate you for killing that girl. Nor do we judge for sparing the  P.O.W, but you threatened to shoot yourself, why ?".

"...I haven't had any feelings for a long time, anywhere I go, it's hate, Confusing or fear, no hope... No love... I don't think I seen anything worth to live for anymore. No one loves me and am always alone. " I say, then I felt someone's hand touch my neck, it surprised me, but not disturbed my position.
I see Ellie and Lucy were at my sides, and Helena was behind me, "you don't have to be alone..." Said Crystal, her face was only a short space from my face, "but no one can love me" I said, "... We love you..." She added, and kissed me.