11 October 2019

13th chapter, y'all! I hope you all love it. It's for sure a crazy one! ;)

"Your world would be easier without me in it." - Chuck Bass
"That's true. But it wouldn't be my world without you in it." - Blair Waldorf

Gosh. This quote is one of my favourite ever quotes! From Gossip Girl ❤️

Alayna's POV

For the next two weeks, I stay in my room, only going downstairs at mealtimes. I don't eat much, I don't talk much to my family or to anyone. The hospital has given me three weeks off from work, because I'm still recovering from my head injury and also from emotional trauma.

I feel too guilty to talk to anyone. Hanna and Aliya visit me several times, but I keep the meetings short, making excuses and saying that I'm tired. However, I can't fall asleep these days, either. Whenever I close my eyes, I recall that dirty man on top of me, I recall him pulling my hair and trying to touch me with his filthy hands. The memory of Zayan getting shot doesn't leave my mind for a single second. I can hear his voice in my mind, I can't get his perfect, pain-filled face out of my head. His beautiful blue-brown, bloodshot eyes. I cover my ears, wanting all the dreadful memories to stop. Wanting to fall asleep. But I can't.

The last two weeks, I've been falling asleep with the help of sleeping pills. But still, I don't sleep for longer than five hours any night.

It's been exactly two weeks, and I'm sitting at the dining table with my family for dinner. They're all looking at me worriedly, wanting me to speak. Wanting me to smile. But I can't. I can't do anything, after that. Zayan got shot because of me. He was in such a bad state. He was in so much pain. He had to have a major surgery to remove the bullet.

He was so lucky that the bullet didn't penetrate any of his organs. It was lodged so close to his heart, so close. He's lucky to be alive.

He woke up late that night after surgery, in tremendous pain. He's still in pain, but he's healing. I don't know how I'll ever be able to meet his eyes, after what I caused to happen. It's all my fault. If he hadn't come to save me, perhaps I wouldn't be here right now, but at least he'd be fine. At least he wouldn't be in hospital, recovering from a near-death experience.

'Alayna?' Mum starts, giving me a small smile.

I glance at her and return the smile with a forced one. My face hurts to smile.

"Yes, Mum?" I reply, clearing my throat slightly. I drink a sip of water. My throat feels extremely dry.

'Zayan's been discharged from the hospital, earlier today. He's been asking about you. You should go to see him,' she tells me gently.

My heart aches, and I close my eyes, not wanting the tears to spill. I don't want to cry in front of anyone. I can't. He's been discharged! I whisper a quiet prayer and try to calm my racing heart.

I shake my head, opening my eyes which are filled with tears. "I can't, Mum. I can't go and see him," I say, my voice breaking.

Yusuf Bhai holds my arm gently, giving me a small smile. 'Alayna, stay strong. I know it's difficult for us to say, but you need to be strong. He's fine now, he's recovering very well. We've all been to see him at the hospital nearly everyday since he got shot, but you haven't visited him even once. Why?'

"H-how can I? How can I go to see him? How can I meet his eyes?" I respond, a tear escaping. I wipe it away.

'None of it was your fault, Alayna. It wasn't at all your fault,' Dad tells me gently.

I laugh humorlessly. "Really, Dad? He got shot saving me. I was the one who was about to get shot, but he ran in front of me and took the bullet! It's all my fault! He's lucky he's alive!" I cry.

Sara hugs me gently, rubbing small circles into the small of my back to calm me.

'Dad?' I cry, staring at my father.

"Yes, sweetheart? Please, don't cry," he says, looking very upset.

'I-I can't believe what happened. I still can't believe it! That day, I couldn't wait to reach home and tell you and Mum something,' I finally say. I need to tell them everything. It hurts too much to keep everything bottled up inside me.

"What did you need to tell us, sweetie?" Mum asks, confused.

'I prayed Istikhara, two weeks before.. before that day,' I tell my family after taking a deep breath.

My parents' eyes widen, and they nod. "Istikhara for..?" Mum's too surprised to believe me.

'Istikhara for the marriage, Mum. In the first night itself, I'm quite sure I received a sign,' I say, before I tell them all about the beautiful dream I had. It was so surreal, so crazy, but so perfect.

After I've told them, they all stare at me in shock. "Well?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

'That's definitely a positive sign, Alayna. A very positive sign. Are you sure about this, though? Are you really ready?' Dad asks me, a small smile on his lips.

"I was, but now I'm not. I can't marry him now, Dad. I caused him so much pain now, what would happen if we got married? I can't hurt him," I say, tears filling my eyes again.

'Don't think like that, sweetie! It wasn't your fault at all. Zayan saved you because he cares about you. Because he didn't want you to get hurt. If you don't believe any of us when we say it wasn't your fault, then ask him. Why would he want to see you, make sure that you're okay, if he blamed you for everything?' Mum says.

"He.. wants to make sure that I'm okay?" I ask quietly, my voice shaking.

My parents nod. I shake my head in disbelief, my heart going crazy once again. 'Is he crazy? Why would he want to see me after what I did to him?'

"You didn't do anything! Me and your father are going to see him in an hour, do you want to go with us?" Mum asks, hopeful.

'I-I don't know,' I mumble. I do want to go and see him, I want to go to see that he's okay. I can't get the picture of him lying unconscious on the hospital bed out of my mind. I need to make sure that he's okay, and I need to apologise to him. But how will I meet his eyes? How will I go there to see him, how will I talk to him?

I swallow, feeling a lump forming in my throat. My entire body hurts, overcome with emotion. 'I'll go. I'll go with you guys,' I say, nodding. I need to see Zayan. I need to apologise to him.

********

Zayan's POV

"Zayan, come. I'll take you to your room, you need to rest," Usman tells me, standing up.

I shake my head. 'I've been in bed at the hospital for two whole weeks, bro. I'm fine. Honestly. I haven't played with Adnan in what feels like forever,' I say, smiling down at the little baby in my arms. Adnan smiles up at me. I've really missed the little guy. Laiba Bhabhi and Usman took him a couple of times to visit me at the hospital, but then he developed a fever, so he couldn't come. Thankfully, he's all better now.

"You can play with him whenever you want, Zayan, but you need to rest right now. You've taken your medicines, so you need to sleep. I know you're still in pain, I can see it on your face," my brother tells me, worried about me.

I sigh, shaking my head. 'It doesn't hurt that much now. Honestly.'

Mum shakes her head, coming to sit next to me on the sofa. "Zayan, please listen to your brother. You need to fully recover, and it'll only happen if you rest. You're a doctor, but you don't take care of these things," she scolds.

I laugh, ignoring the pain in my chest. It still hurts, badly. But I don't want to tell anyone that it does. I don't want them to worry needlessly. They've all worried enough, these past two weeks.

'Okay! I'll go upstairs, I'll walk. I'm honestly fine now. I'm not going to sleep anytime soon, but I'll go and rest,' I finally give in.

Mum beams at me, kissing my forehead. "Good! I'll bring your dinner upstairs in a short while. And your brother's taking you upstairs in that wheelchair. You're not walking."

I roll my eyes and nod.

'Mum?' I ask, a few seconds later. She's about to go to the kitchen to continue making dinner.

She turns to face me, smiling. "Yes, Zayan?"

'Erm, Alayna really is fine, right?' I ask her, nervously.

She smiles at me. "Yes, she's absolutely fine! You've asked me about her at least ten times today!"

My face heats up and I shake my head. 'She must be upset for what.. happened to her. I'm so glad she's okay, though.'

Mum nods, sadly. "She's okay, Zayan. Physically, she's doing well, but I know that emotionally, she's very hurt."

'She hasn't come to see me, why?' I finally ask the question I've been meaning to ask for the last two weeks.

Mum sighs, smiling sadly. "She's feeling guilty for what happened to you, Zayan. It wasn't her fault at all, we've all tried to explain this to her, but she won't listen. She believes that it's all her fault."

I shake my head, shocked. 'How can she think that? It wasn't her fault at all!' I exclaim.

"I know, beta. She came to see you when you were unconscious after your surgery, but ever since you woke up, she hasn't seen you. She's feeling too guilty," Mum tells me.

I shake my head, chuckling lightly. Alayna's always been a stubborn one.

********

Alayna's POV

'Alayna! Hi, lovely! I haven't seen you in a few days, I hope you're doing okay?' Aunty asks me gently, before giving me a hug.

I hug her back, feeling very emotional. "Yeah, I'm fine Aunty. How are you? How's Zayan?" My voice trembles.

Aunty gives me a wide smile. 'He's doing well now, he really is. He's upstairs, taking some rest. We literally forced him to go upstairs, he wanted to go downstairs and play with Adnan!'

I chuckle. "He's.. really okay?" I ask, not believing that he is.

Aunty nods. 'Yes, sweetheart. He's really okay. Do you want to see him?'

Uncle, Usman Bhai, Hanna and Laiba greet me, and I greet them back. I get hugs from everyone.

"Erm, he's taking rest Aunty. I don't want to disturb him," I tell her.

She shakes her head, chuckling. 'You won't disturb him. He's been asking about you, a lot.'

My cheeks heat up. "I.. can't believe him. After what I put him through, he's still asking about me? I'll go and see him. Is he coming downstairs?" I ask.

'Oh, wait a minute dear. I'll give you a glass of milk, can you please give that to him too? He's in his room, sweetie. You can go upstairs to see him.'

"Oh.. okay," I mumble a few seconds later, my cheeks hot.

********

I stand outside his bedroom, taking a deep breath. I'm suddenly feeling extremely nervous, and my heart's thumping in my chest.

I knock lightly on his door, before I hear his voice. It causes my heart to start beating at a thousand times the normal rate, and my palms get sweaty. My face must be as bright as a tomato.

'Mum, why are you knocking? Come in,' he says, his voice sounding slightly tired.

I bite my lip nervously, before slowly opening his bedroom door.

I stand there awkwardly for a second, before stepping in. His room is spotless, huge and extremely masculine. He's sitting in his large, king-sized bed, with two duvets over him. He's flicking through the channels on TV.

His dark brown hair is messier than usual, and he has facial hair. He clearly didn't get time to shave, but the facial hair makes him look even sexier. It definitely suits him. I think I actually prefer him with light facial hair.

"Erm, I-I'm not Aunty," I whisper quietly, but he clearly hears me.

He turns around to face me, shocked. Yes, he must be shocked that I've finally come to see him. What an idiot am I, not visiting him for two whole weeks? He's hurt because of me, and I haven't even come to see him.

'Alayna,' he breathes, clearly shocked. He gives me a dazzling smile, and I feel my heart ache. Then, he tries to sit up in bed, before he starts groaning out in pain. He's too weak, and he's obviously still in lots of pain.

I rush to his side and help him to sit up, placing several cushions behind his back so that he's as comfortable as possible. He stares at me as I help him up, and I look everywhere but at him. I can't meet his eyes. Words can't describe how I feel about the pain I caused him.

"How are you?" I ask him, looking at the wall behind him.

'I'm fine, how are you?' He replies, his voice full of worry.

I shrug. "I'm fine, too."

'Alayna, sit down. Here,' he says a few seconds later, sighing. He moves away slightly, making room for me. I stare at him, my heart paining as I see his beautiful face. He looks weak. Weak, but still perfect.

I reluctantly take a seat on the edge of his bed, leaving nearly a metre in between us. It hurts to be this close to him. To hear his voice. To look at him.

'How's your head?' He asks me, worried.

I glance at him, and I sigh, forcing a smile. "It's better. How's your.. pain?" I ask him, swallowing hard.

'It's better, too,' he replies.

I shake my head furiously. "No, it isn't better. I can see it isn't better. You can't lie to me. I'm a doctor, remember?"

He chuckles, leaning back against the cushions. 'Yes, of course I remember. But seriously, I'm better now. I'm fine.'

My eyes fill up with tears, and I shake my head. "You're not fine. You're not fine, and it's all my fault."

'Hey, Alayna. Look at me. Nothing was your fault, at all. Please don't blame yourself for what happened,' he says, his voice gentle.

"It wasn't my fault? Then help me, Zayan. Who's fault was it, if not mine? You saved me. You saved my life. You.. took a bullet for me!"

He stares at me, a small smile playing on his lips.

"You're finding this funny, are you? I'm not telling a funny joke! Why did you do that for me? Why would you save my life, and risk yours completely? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?" I ask him, blinking away the tears.

'I don't regret it, Alayna. Not for a single second. I don't regret saving you at all. I'd do the same thing again, a hundred times,' he tells me. I feel my heart skip a beat. What does he mean?

"Zayan! Do you even know what you're saying?! You'd take a bullet for me again, would you?! Are you seriously crazy? Why would you save my life?" I say, trying to stay calm.

'Yes, Alayna. I'd save your life again, without a second thought. There's no question about that.' Even in his weak state, his voice is authoritative.

I look at his handsome face, staring into his eyes. "Why, Zayan? For the past two weeks, I've been trying to understand why you'd put your life into immense danger to save mine. And I don't understand, at all." My voice is now gentler.

'Because I couldn't see you in that state, Alayna. When I saw that.. guy on top of you, it infuriated me. I'd never felt so angry in my entire life. All I knew is that I would protect you, no matter what. I couldn't see you get shot, so I stepped in front of you,' he says softly.

"You could have died," I whisper, my voice breaking.

'I'm well aware,' he replies, staring into my eyes.

"If you had let me get shot, if I had died or gotten badly hurt, you wouldn't have to marry me. I mean, you don't have to marry me even now, but the whole arranged marriage would definitely be off if.. I had gotten shot," I ramble.

'Alayna. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hadn't protected you.' My heart skips a beat, and I shake my head.

"I don't understand," I whisper. Why would this crazy guy save my life, without thinking about himself? Why would he risk his life for mine?

"You're in a lot of pain, right?" I whisper a few seconds later as he moves over slightly, groaning in pain.

He composes himself, shaking his head and smiling softly at me. 'No, I'm not. It's just when I move. Otherwise, it's absolutely fine.'

I close my eyes, the memory of Zayan's blood on my hands and clothes suddenly filling my mind. My coat was covered with his blood. My hands were painted red with his blood. He lost so much blood. He was in so much pain. All because of me.

My eyes fill with tears. I open them, trying to blink them away. But it's useless.

A tear slips out of my eye and I quickly look away from Zayan, wiping it away.

'Alayna. Look at me.' His voice is gentle, yet authoritative.

I shake my head, standing up. "I'm so sorry, Zayan. You have no idea how bad I feel, how much pain I feel for causing you so much. I'm sorry," I whisper, the tears running down my cheeks.

He gently grabs my hand, seating me back down. Electricity rushes through my hand, through my arm and it runs throughout my entire body. It's stronger than ever, and it surprises me. There's no way that he didn't feel it, too?

I stare at him for a second, to see that he looks surprised too. He surely felt it?

When he wipes away my tears, I tense, feeling the current again, even stronger this time. His touch does funny things to my body. I've never felt this before, whatever this weird, crazy feeling is. But at the same time, I don't want it to stop.

'You can't cry anymore, Alayna. Okay?' He requests, staring into my eyes.

His eyes are so beautiful. They're the most perfect shade of blue-brown. Something in between. They're dazzling. Piercing. Brooding. But gentle at the same time.

I nod, wiping my face. Thankfully, I'm not wearing even the faintest touch of makeup today. Because I knew that I was going to cry when I saw him. I could have worn waterproof makeup, but I haven't worn a touch of makeup in these last two weeks. I couldn't.

"Have you had dinner?" I ask him after wiping my face clear of any tears.

He shakes his head. 'Not yet. Have you?'

I nod. "Yeah, I have. I hope you're eating properly, Dr. Zayan," I say, frowning and trying to appear authoritative.

He laughs, shaking his head at me. I can see that he's in pain, but he continues to laugh. 'I'm eating properly, Dr. Alayna. Thank you for your concern.'

My frown deepens. "Of course I'm concerned."

'I know, I know you are. I'm just wondering, I'd get told off by you every single day if we actually got married,' he says, a smile playing on his lips.

My heart skips a beat. "W-what?" I mutter, like an idiot.

He smirks. 'You'd scold me everyday if we got married. Wouldn't you?'

"If you didn't eat properly, if you didn't take care of yourself, then obviously I would," I reply in a whisper, my heartbeat quickening.

His smirk transforms into a breath-taking smile which has me staring shamelessly for a few seconds. 'I wouldn't have to take care of myself, because I'd have you to take care of me for me.'

Stay still, crazy, traitorous heart!

"Zayan," I whisper, not knowing what to say in reply.

'I hope I'm not making you feel awkward,' he says, apologising.

This time, I'm the one who touches his hand. I place my hand on his, shaking my head. "No, no. You're not making me feel awkward."

The memories of Zayan getting shot again enter my mind, and I shake my head.

'What are you thinking, Alayna?' He asks me softly.

"I wouldn't ever.. ever do anything to risk your life again. I wouldn't ever do anything which would risk your health. And staying with me, I don't know what good that would do for you. I can't see you getting hurt because of me again," I tell him, my heart rate increasing rapidly.

He shakes his head, his eyes even softer. 'Alayna, nothing was your fault. At all. I saved you, because I wanted to. Because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't protect you. And because I couldn't see you hurt. Stop thinking that you'd cause me more pain if you were with me.'

Does he want to be with me? Is it possible? Why does it feel like he's saying that, through his words? Is it really possible?

I swallow, staring at his handsome, perfect face. "Zayan, you need to rest. Okay? I'll tell someone to bring your dinner upstairs for you. Eat it all, and then sleep." I stand up, giving him a small smile.

'You're going already?' He asks, sadly.

This time, my smile is real. "It's getting late, and you need to rest. I'll come again to visit you soon. I need to.. clear my head."

He nods. 'I'll be waiting for you. It was good seeing you today, Alayna.'

"It was good seeing you too, Zayan. Promise me you'll get better real quick?" I ask him, not wanting to leave but knowing I have to.

'I promise,' he says, grinning at me.

I really need to calm my heart. The way it starts racing when Zayan smiles at me. When he talks to me so gently. I really have lost it.

"Bye, Zayan."

'Bye, Alayna,' he replies, his eyes sparkling.

********

I can't fall asleep that night, but this time, it isn't out of worry for Zayan. I can't sleep, because I can't stop thinking about him. About his words. His touch. His.. everything.

I keep tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep but I just can't. I need to talk to someone. Right now.

I grab my phone from my bedside table and unlock it. It's 2:05am. I really have gone crazy.

I know I shouldn't do this, because he must be asleep. But I can't stop myself. I type out a text.

Alayna: Zayan, are you awake?

His reply comes two minutes later.

Zayan: Alayna, are you okay? Why are you awake so late? And yes, I'm awake. I just got up to take my medications. You're okay, right? How's your head?

My heart starts to go crazy again. He's worried for me.

Alayna: My head's okay, Zayan. And I'm absolutely fine. I hope you are, too. I just needed to ask you something.

His reply is instant.

Zayan: Yes? What do you need to ask me?

There's no going back now. I can't believe what I'm about to ask him. My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. I place a hand on my chest to calm my heart, but it doesn't help at all.

Alayna: Our parents haven't changed their minds, have they? Is the arranged marriage still up?

I throw my phone onto my bed and jump out of bed. I run to my parents' room and knock loudly on their door. I hope I don't scare them. My heartbeat's going crazy, I feel crazy, but I don't care.

Mum opens the door a few seconds later, rubbing her eyes and yawning. 'Alayna? What's the matter? I thought you were going to break down the door, knocking like that! Are you okay?' She looks tired and worried.

Dad quickly joins her, looking extremely worried. My face is as red as a tomato, and I've lost it completely. It's over 2am, and I'm saying this to them at this time. I can't believe myself, but at the same time, I know this needs to be said.

'Mum, Dad? I hope I didn't disturb you?' I ask sweetly, biting my lip to hide the smile that's trying to break out on my face.

They both shake their heads. "No, of course you didn't disturb us. But why are you awake at such a late hour? Have you not slept yet?" Dad asks, surprised.

'No, I couldn't sleep. I needed to tell you both that.. that, wow. I can't believe what I'm about to say. Okay. I'll say it. I'm ready. I'm ready to marry Zayan.' The words tumble out, my eyes widened and I'm staring at my parents.

They look at each other, shocked. Then they look at me, silent for a good few seconds. "I think I'm dreaming," Dad finally says, before he starts to laugh.

'Me too!' Mum says, grinning at me.

"Me three! But, will you guys say something else? I'm going mad over here!" I say, nervously.

They both engulf me into a hug, and I smile, closing my eyes and hugging them back. I get lots and lots of kisses, which make me laugh.

'You're serious about this?' Dad finally asks me, smiling.

I nod. "Of course I am."

'You want to marry Zayan?!' Mum exclaims, laughing loudly. The next thing I know, Sara and Yusuf Bhai rush out of their rooms in shock.

"Yes, I want to marry him," I mumble, looking down towards the ground, trying to hide my scarlet cheeks.

'I still think I'm dreaming! I can't believe what I'm finally hearing!' Dad laughs, looking at Mum.

"You guys keep thinking about if it's a dream or reality, and I'll go to bed. Okay?" I say, clearing my throat.

'I don't think any of us are going to sleep for much longer today. I'll get changed and come downstairs,' Mum says, excitedly.

"Okay, I'll be down in a few," I say, nodding. I return to my room and close the door behind me. Oh, my god. I'd almost forgotten that I'd texted Zayan.

I rush to my bed and sit down, grabbing my phone. When I touch the screen, I see five missed calls from Zayan. And two texts. I open the texts.

Zayan: Alayna, are you being serious? Are you for real? Do you know what you're saying?

Zayan: Alayna, please answer your phone. It's urgent!

I reply, my cheeks as hot as fire.

Alayna: I'm not going to answer my phone! I feel like an idiot. Go to sleep.

I feel way too embarrassed and nervous to answer my phone. But he calls me right away, as soon as he's seen my text.

His name flashes on my screen, and I feel my heart doing somersaults inside my chest. I've never felt so nervous before, in my entire life. I feel like an idiot.

With trembling fingers, I answer his call.

'Alayna! Why weren't you answering your phone? Anyway, it doesn't matter. Are you okay?' He asks me, his voice full of worry. However, I hint the tiniest amount of nervousness in his voice.

"Zayan, hi. Yes, I'm okay," I mumble, playing with the hem of my shirt nervously.

'Did you ask me what I thought you asked me?' He asks, his voice a low whisper.

I feel a strange but amazing feeling at the pit of my stomach. "Yes. Maybe?" My whisper is now even quieter. However, he hears me clearly.

'You.. want to go through with the marriage?' He asks me in disbelief.

"Oh, my god. I'm such an idiot. How could I think that.. of course you don't want to marry me. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I can't believe my parents for planning this, and I can't believe myself for agreeing! I'm so sorry, Zayan. I'll go now. I'm sorry for disturbing you at such a late hour. You're not well, you need to sleep," I ramble on and on, not able to control what's coming out of my mouth.

'Alayna, who said I don't want to marry you?' He says, amusement lacing his voice.

My heart stops beating in my chest, and my eyes widen in shock. "W-what?"

'You heard me right. I've been ready for this for a while now.'

"Zayan!" I exclaim, in utter shock. "You're.. serious?"

'Yes, Alayna. I'm serious.'

"Oh, god. I don't think I'll ever be able to see you again, I feel so embarrassed. But.. what?! You're serious? About me?" I ask in a whisper.

'I'm very serious about you, Alayna. More serious than I've ever been for anything in my life.'

That's when I cut the call.

********

Yes, yes. I can't believe it either! I can't believe Alayna. I can't believe what I just wrote. I couldn't stop myself, though. My fingers were thinking something else, and my mind was thinking something else. But at the end, my mind and my hands were both happy with Alayna's decision. I have the biggest grin on my face right now.

Are you happy?

What did you all think of this chapter? Did it shock you, too?

What was your favourite part of the chapter?

And yes, of course Zayan's fine. Or he will be, anyway!

Don't forget to vote and comment if you liked the chapter! Also, this chapter is unedited, so please, nicely point out any mistakes or grammatical errors if you see any. This chapter isn't perfect at all.

Question: What's your favourite game? And another question, what's your favourite wedding song? ;)

Bye guys! I love you all x