The first cut is the deepest

And the scars remain abysmal

The echoes of the heartbreaks

Still persist to be real.

.

Does time really heal?

Or it only embalms a dead heart?

Can a wounded soul really have,

A new life and a fresh start?

.

But what lies underneath

All the camouflage?

Is it love or is it nothing?

Will the true smile ever show up on their visage?

Fall was lovely.

It was in its own personification a season of change, a season of chance. Where regeneration happened. Where the old went away, only for new to come.

To him, it was a second go at everything around. The leaves that fell, the flowers that bade goodbye, only for new ones to resurface. It was like bidding a teary yet hopeful farewell to your past, to your mistakes, only to pave way for new developments to surface, new hopes to conspire, and new thoughts to inspire.

Arnav Singh Raizada was a man of substance.

Crude, arrogant, manipulative, yet at the same time philosophical.And at the last piece of adjective, he would often be surprised at his own self.

His work defined him, right after his family of course, but since he never really got to spend abundant time with his family, thanks to their busy commitments, it was his work that turned out to be his much conspicuous worship.

When he was a child, he would often feel neglected not having his parents around much, but thanks to his maternal cousins Akash and Anjali, familial life was still bearable. Unfortunately, he hadn't realized at the earliest that the workaholics in his parents that he resented the most would be something that even he would grow up to become.

Yes, he was a workaholic, and quite proudly so.

It wasn't an everyday thing that you hold the designation of the chief executive officer of a company as grand and renowned as AR Designs.

At just 25, he was one of the most eligible bachelors and young business tycoons of Asia and no, he wasn't really modest about it.

He knew that he had worked hard for coming to that position and despite all his inner ordeals, he had managed to stand on his own feet.

Agreed, it was in his lineage and legacy to ascend the Raizada throne, but his father, Avinash Raizada was one particular man, who made sure Arnav achieved whatever he did by his own merit and credit.

And so he did.

Be it qualifying for Harvard or interning at some of the world's most popular business giants, before joining his own family business: AR.

As he spared a look at the window, the tall glass opening into the beautiful sight outside, all he could do was let out a deep sigh.

He stood up from his chair, and walked in quick strides towards the window, breathing in the view that this location had to offer, right from the 16th floor of his brand new office in New York City.

Yes, he was currently in the States, since the past 15 days, and he had quite a packed schedule here. After ruling the Asian market, AR was now all set to take off and be a fashion giant in the United States as well, and after two years of thorough planning, sequencing, discussing, envisioning, and executing, here he was, in his newly inaugurated office, which was on the 16th floor of Crystal Paradigm, New York.

He was juggling between a lot of work since the past one month and in the next two days he was all set to depart for New Delhi, where the next Indian Fashion Week was scheduled to take place.There was so much on his plate right now all at once.

Not that he was complaining.

As he grabbed his coffee mug from his desk, taking a small sip of his regular black coffee, he observed keenly how beautiful and lovely the scene looked outside his window.

The vibrant colors.

The roads.

The gardens.

And then finally, the maple leaves.
.

.

He pursed his lips as the sight instantly flashed a very distinctly distant memory in his mind, making his heart skip a beat unwarrantedly.

''I love maple leaves, they are my favorite! Don't you think they look so romantic?''

.

.

It had been over 8 years, yet all of it remained so fresh in his mind.

Though he had only seldom let it all resurface, for he knew the thoughts, the flashes, the reminders would be the death of him! And he wouldn't let anything hurt him or kill him, when he had no fault in any of it!

That, he was extremely stern about.

But then he would be lying if he said that nothing of it affected him, still.

Yes, it did.

And no matter how hot headed he was, in introspection, in solitary, he knew that he could lie to everyone but not to his own conscience.

It had been over eight years since he had last heard from her.

He still had no definite answers to why whatever happened, happened. And the hilarity out of all of it was that he didn't really know 'what' happened! And that was something that had given him a bevy of sleepless nights, and somehow still did, some or the other day.

He had read a lot about 'Time heals' theory, but to him it was something that worked, well, only in theory.

Time definitely gave you lot of new things to look forward to, acting as a chemotherapy to a cancer patient, wherein it would give some relief, but the truth was truth, that the problem still remained malignant. And there, even time was a loser, despite being the world's victor.

He took another sip of coffee, the bitterness of the liquid traveling down his throat, bringing back flashes of some distant memories in his mind, which he had tried very hard to deem 'bitter' but his mind would quite relentlessly call them 'bittersweet.'

.

.

8.5 years ago

It was the last year of school and for him, who was a go getter, challenge and adventure seeker, everything was only appearing a little too dull.

It was going to be the end of their school life for Christ's sake, and all that he found himself ensnared in was:

A. The usual ignorance from his parents.

B. The typical drowning in studies at school and home.

C. Coaching classes.

D. Basketball practice (Which was the only good thing in his otherwise insipid schedule)

E. Chilling out with friends. (Well, this was decent too).

But for Arnav Singh Raizada, the charmer, the intellect, the winner at everything he pursued, all of it appeared way too trivial for his taste.

He wanted the year to end with a bang and somehow during one truth and dare game at his classmate's house party, when he was given the dare of wooing an impossible girl, the idea was all too tempting for him.

While he had readily agreed to that proposition, he was slightly taken aback when after contemplating a list of targets, his friends had zeroed upon a certain Khushi Gupta from Biology stream.

He had seen very little of her in their entire phase of school life from Kindergarten till high school, and all that he had known of her by own observation and theories of others was that she was extremely studious, kept to herself, barely had two to three friends, and was the class topper.

Nothing beyond that.

It was outright evident that the girl didn't even belong in his world and he wouldn't ever even date someone like that in his right state of mind.

And so it hadn't bothered him much when he had readily given his consent to the idea, which was by the way, to approach her, befriend her, make her like him, take her as his partner to the official school farewell party, only to dump her at the end of the event in front of his friends and whoever else volunteered to be their audience.

Simple and sorted.At least that's what he had thought, when he had sent her that friend request that day on Facebook.

.

.

Flirting was something he excelled in by default, thanks to his stature, upbringing, and of course, company.

So for him writing those totally workable, cheesy lines to Khushi was no big deal, during all their Facebook chats. Yet he knew that for her, they were like unannounced installments of bombs thrown at her, which only kept surprising her every now and then.

It was funny how he could not see her face during those chats, yet could somewhat make out her facial expressions whenever she would type replies to his messages.

As part of the deal, unknown to her, he would actually chat from his laptop with his friends around, and they would laugh off pretty often seeing their chats, mocking her, calling her, ''Such a gullible freak!'' and ''Oh Arnav, you are so getting laid with her, dude!''

And yes, he had enjoyed every bit of that teenage fun as many would call it, to his heart's content.

INITIALLY.

Yes, and that initially was a powerful word here, that demarcated a lot of his carefree, careless self from his rationale.

And when that happened, he felt utterly, utterly horrible.And he remembered when that exactly happened.

The day she had mentioned about missing her dead mother, wishing she was there to guide her through her life, her confusions, her dreams. When she had told him that though her father had done so, so much for her, yet she wished she could get some more time from him, and have her mother too by her side, all those words were his undoing.

For he could see a small yet strong part of his own self reflecting in her. The part which craved for his parents' attention, time, love, and care. But that part was unfortunately never contended, for he never received from them what he vouched for.

And for some reason, more than him, he felt bad for her because her mother was dead.She could never come back no matter what happened, whereas for him, there was still some hope, no matter how meager, that his parents could or may give him some time and attention in the future.

And starting from that same day, he had innately noticed a change within his own self, and how he perceived things.

Since that very day, he had made it a point to not chat with her on Facebook when his friends were around, because if not anything, he wanted to respect her privacy, which she dared and cared to share only with him.

And so in no time, he too had begun opening up to her with sheer ease. His inner dreams, thoughts, no matter how cheesy or reckless, he had shared them all with her.

He didn't know why he hadn't or rather couldn't share it with any of his friends or cousins before, when he practically spent all of his time with them, but he dared not to question it, because he didn't want to go into that zone.

He liked what was happening, the pace, the nature of it.

He liked how they would talk about anything and everything under the whole wide horizon every evening and night on Facebook, but at school during daytime, they behaved as if they didn't even know each other.

It was better this way, wasn't it?

When his friends would often ask him about reports on what they would jokingly call 'The Khushi Project' he would act oblivious saying he was focusing more on his studies now, since he had realized if he wanted to crack Harvard, then he needed to be more serious about his studies.

But then he couldn't do away with his image slash epic reputation either, after all old habits die hard.

And that's precisely why when his friends would ask him about the rigidity of what they had decided for Khushi to take place during the school's farewell, he would say, ''Yeah, dude! Chill!''

But every single time he did that, his heart would unceremoniously thud a little louder, as if admonishing him for the lie he uttered, because from the core of his heart he very well knew that he could never stoop so low to do something as vile and precarious as that.

To her.

No, he could never do that to her.

Not even if he wished to. And here he could never wish doing something wrong to her.

The reason?Even he didn't know.

And this fact was again bothersome to him.He was a winner in everything he wished to take up and hence not knowing was not an option, be it about anything.

Heck, if he even liked a small dish, he most certainly needed to know its ingredients, how it was prepared, how much time it took, yada, yada, regardless of how terrible his culinary skills actually were!

He was that stubborn.

And so this equation with Khushi was really giving him some hard time.And the funny thing was that this time it was his mind's turn to mock him, because if he had not gotten himself into that silly bet thingy, he wouldn't have been ensnared in the predicament he was dealing with right now!

''What goes around comes around! Karma's a b*tch!''

He muttered to himself, trying to get some sleep.It was the Annual Sports Day tomorrow and of course he had to win the match. Like hell he would lose!

He had never lost a single match and tomorrow would be no different.

Yes, basketball.

A faint smile curved his lips as he found his antidote, finally, to distract himself from her thoughts.

But Karma was still not done with him, because his little moment of rejoice, lasted, well, only for a little while.

As soon as he laid on his back on the bed, looking at the ceiling of his room, one thought constantly circulated in his head creating a fine pattern.

''Would she watch my match tomorrow?''

It was utterly peculiar for him to even have a thought like that, he decided. But nope, nothing was working. He needed some legit me time to get a grip on his own thoughts, but here this girl was really playing with his mind, when he knew it very well that she didn't even have an idea, not an inkling of what was going on in his head.

He found himself trapped in a dicey stance, wherein, he cursed himself for the stupid bet, which was making him feel guilty beyond repair. But on a second thought, if the bet never happened, he would have never even been a part of her life in the first place

They would have technically never even crossed each other's paths EVER.And so it was both a boon and a bane.

But his guilt was something, subjected only to him, and he had a real hard time dealing with it.For the first time he felt if their equation could be normal and this bet was non-existent, then wouldn't life be so much simple right now?

And that hypothetical situation made his lips involuntarily curve into a smile.Yes it would be simple.

It would be easy.It would be good.And it would be..Umm, beautiful?

''DAMN!''

He cursed in agitation having zilch idea of why he was feeling what he was feeling, and what was this unusual surge of feelings emerging from the pit of his stomach ending at his chest, and to that, he just threw his pillow roughly on the floor, and slept with a grumpy face, keeping one hand under his head.

.

.

It was such a busy day at Greenfield High School today and everyone was in a totally fun mood. His team was all ready, all set, to bring yet another feather on the cap of Greenfield, and they knew they would, for they had Arnav Singh Raizada, the mighty man and amazing player as their team captain.

Arnav had never reeled in the pressure of expectations from people, be it his friends, parents, or team members, but today, today for a change for the first time he was feeling a weird kind of tension, and that made his muscles ache and heart race.

He knew she would be watching him play, and well, he simply didn't want to lose.

In front of her.

So weird, that he never lost a match and winning was his forte and he knew he would win, yet he just wanted to make very very sure that she sees him win.What did he want to prove?

And what did he want to win?

The match?

or

Her heart?
.

.

His conscience had questioned him and like always he had wanted to wash away the constant questions of his innate self, but alas! Today he couldn't really do so.

As he watched her from the court, sitting afar, in between Payal and that weirdo named Nand Kishore, aka NK, he was left speechless.

All he had seen of her till today was only her school uniform attire, with a well ironed pinafore, full sleeved shirt, house tie, with hair oiled and tied in one long braid, but today..Today, she was different.

She was amazing.

He had known of course, like many others, that she was actually one of the prettiest girls in their batch, but her modesty hid that pretty face well behind her geeky personality, but seeing her right here, right at this moment, in a sleeveless floral top, short blue skirt, and her long silky hair open that reached her petite waist, was a sight that Arnav Singh Raizada wanted to own, freeze, and claim as his forever.

But he didn't want to scare her.

So, keeping his wild typical teenage hormonal thoughts at bay, he tried t be sober, and typed a message in his usual tone, typically hiding his inner feelings in his words:

'You look damn pretty today, Khushi! No wonder the weather is so hot. ;)'

'It's me Arnav by the way! ;)'

He smiled to himself as he noticed the change in her expressions, from shocked to blushing, and all he felt at that moment was proud, to be the reason behind it.

He knew that she would have figured out from the first text itself that it was him, but he still wanted to validate it and so he sent the next text mentioning his name. Given the amount of stares and dreamy looks she was getting from guys today, like hell he would let her think of someone else instead of him!

He had taken her number long ago when he had given his consent for that challenge, and having her details like phone number, background, was all part of the bet.

The same bet for which he still hated himself.

This girl was such an open book, wherein her feelings, her thoughts so easily reflected on her face, and he knew that he had been utterly, disgustingly, wrong before to have even plotted such a vile, cheap trick for her.

But he had no plans to do any of it now, and at least that fact made him relax a bit...He was only too lost in his thoughts about her, when he suddenly noticed NK looking at her dreamily, and so did many other guys, who were equally dazzled by her never seen before avatar, and the realization hit him like a hammer, making him feel the urge to go berserk, even in public.

But there was only so little that he could do, and so fuming like a manic, he roughly took out his mobile phone again, and typed in a rather fast and harsh speed:

'By the way, make sure that NK doesn't cozy up to you so much. He's trying to flirt with you! And I don't like it.'

His prior resolution about not scaring her by revealing his inner thoughts had gone with the west wind as he had typed this message, and he had known it for obvious reasons, it had made her spellbound.

He was insanely jealous at the sight and thought of anyone else other than him being close to her.

He knew that his reaction was weird, not just to her, but to him as well, and even before he could ponder more on this, the referee had blown the whistle, calling both the teams to the main arena, where the match was all set to begin.

.

.

As the match was on in full swing and the crowd kept cheering for their respective favorite teams to win, she remained oblivious that he had not once but so many times looked at her, throughout the match.

Why she remained oblivious?

Well, she mostly had her eyes closed, praying fervently with her hands slightly joined, to her favorite idol, Devi Maiyya.

The sight was too adorable for him, and at the same time, he felt proud and joyous that he knew most of the minute details about her, like this for instance, that she was extremely religious and a strong devotee of Devi Maiyya.

And so, with every basket he made, it would only be then that she would open her eyes, clap like a little kid, cheer for Greenfield, and then get back to praying for their win.

And in this process, she had totally missed all of Arnav's looks that he darted at her, right before he made a basket, and while he made a basket.

But he wasn't disappointed.

He loved stealing glances at her, when she remained unaware, and it was right then, right there, during that very basketball match that he knew.

Arnav Singh Raizada knew that he had hopelessly fallen in love with this beauty, this precious soul, called Khushi Gupta.

.

.

The crowds including almost the entire school had surrounded him, felicitating him on his win, cheering for him, and singing accolades for him. And though he thoroughly enjoyed all this attention, all he wanted was to be alone for a while.

He knew that she would be looking forward to meet him too, and well, his condition was no different, but after the conclusion he had reached regarding her, right during the basketball match 10 minutes ago, needed for him to gather his thoughts, before telling her what he felt about her.

And so as soon as the presentation ceremony got over, he had quickly retired to his home, driving his bike in full speed, not even for a second looking back, for he knew, if he did, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her senseless.

He was only 18 after all, with hormones and adrenaline kicking in full swing, and for that, he needed to get a grip on his thoughts.

For someone who had begun dating since Grade IX, lost his virginity in Grade X, this was something huge. Something that had never happened before.

And he knew, Khushi wasn't someone he could toy around with.

He needed to be extremely, extremely sure of his thoughts, of his feelings, and only and only then he would finally confess his feelings to her, and from there, there won't be any looking back, he had promised himself.

And so the next days that came, he had switched off his mobile phone and with a lot of effort, managed to stay away from Facebook, telling his friends, he was having a ''cyber detox'' time and that's why couldn't come online.

With every day that was passing, a new realization was dawning on him, some of the most pivotal of which were:

A. Khushi wasn't an infatuation for him.

B. The bet was one of the most frivolous things he had ever gotten himself into.

C. His lifestyle, his thoughts, his ideologies prior to Khushi coming in his life were bullsh*t!

D. He really wanted to be good. For her. With her. And finally,

E. He missed her. To infinity and beyond.

He sighed as he finally came to terms with all he felt, all he fathomed, and now, he could hardly wait.

But he had to.

Amidst all his feelings and theories, if he had decided one thing, which he had to do by hook or crook, was the fact that he had to confess to her about his prior intentions.That is, the bet.

It panged his heart just at the mere recollection of that thought, but he knew that if anything he had always admired in people, about people, and anything, it was honesty.

And so if he was indeed looking forward to commence something new not just with Khushi, but his own mindset, then she deserved to know the truth, and then whatever she would decide he would be fine with it.

Although he was the basketball champion of the school, in this case he wanted the ball to be in Khushi's court.

It was going to be her call.

And as much as that made him relieved, it also scared her.What if she broke all ties with him after knowing the truth and thrashed him away? Everything that they had all this while?

What if she unfriended him or blocked him from her Facebook account too?

''What the!''

He couldn't help but curse himself at that inference, wherein he just came to know that the mere thought of even her deleting him from her Facebook account too could kill him to the point of infinity!

Does she even feel for him the way he feels for her?

There were too many questions popping in his head right now, the answers to which he wished he readily had.

But patience was the greatest virtue and he decided to rather wait instead of hasten and ruin things for the both of them.

And amidst all this, there were studies- so much of it!He sighed, suddenly realizing the depth of things he was currently in and his rationale told him, it was all going to be fruitful in the end.

So he made up his mind, to tell her about all his feeling once their boards got over.

But this decision was going to be easier said than done, because this meant he had to distance himself from her till their exams were over, because if he didn't, he would only feel all the more guilty of hiding such an important truth from her, when all he wanted in their relationship other than love and trust was transparency.

He was actually quite surprised at his own chain of thoughts.Never before had he thought about anyone else other than himself and his family of course, and for a change, he was actually liking this change.

He smirked at that realization and after what seemed like ages, he opened his laptop and opened the obvious pinned website on his browser: Facebook.

He had vowed to not go online till he clarified everything between him and Khushi, but damn his rebel heart. He had no control over his own self, whatsoever.

His heart skipped a bit as soon as he logged in and in his homepage, the first update that his feed showed was:

Khushi Gupta changed her profile picture.

And damn! That was his undoing!

Dressed in the very same floral top and blue skirt from the same annual sports day event, she looked so, so damn beautiful. There was of course Payal sitting next to her in the picture too, but he didn't even dart his sight for once at Payal. His vision was centered all over Khushi.And this delight on his screen became his undoing.

Without a second thought, he liked the profile picture, and quickly opened his message tab, and typed a 'Hi!' to her.

He knew how desperate from his inside he was when he typed it, but damn his decision, he couldn't act on it right now. He would have actually let the moment rule over his mind if she hadn't immediately replied to him with seven back to back messages, asking him the obvious questions about his whereabouts, what he was up to, why did he go MIA, so on and so forth.

And that immediately gave him a reality check, and stopped him from being on the verge of breaking his resolution.

He hated to ignore her.

Damn it, how could he, when all he wanted was to run to her and gather her slim form in his arms, and do wild things to her.

But he knew if he wanted all of it to turn into a living reality, then he had to wait. For the right time, right moment, because he wanted to start a relationship with her with honesty, transparency, and the truth, not with lies and his share of baggage!

'I am sorry, Khushi. Forgive me for this. But I promise main sab theek kar dunga.''(I promise I will make everything all right).

And with that he closed the Facebook tab right away and shut down his laptop as well...In school too, with a lot of effort he managed to circumvent any given opportunity of coming across her. Though it was way too difficult for him, but he did it anyway. He would steal manage to steal some glances from her when he was cent percent sure that she wasn't looking, but even that was difficult.

The only assurance he kept giving himself and that kept him sane was that in a matter of few days everything will be fine.Little did he know that he had never been this wrong about anything before.

.

.

And just like that the day arrived when they all had to collect their admit cards.

Arnav had done so in the first half of the day itself, and quite unlikely of him, he was way too emotional today. This was going to be the last day he was properly seeing Greenfield High as its student and the fact was hitting him hard.

His emotions had always been on a surge of late, thanks to a certain Khushi Gupta, and today it was heightened for the obvious reasons. This is precisely why when some of the XI graders insisted him for a last basketball match, he couldn't resist and in no time, wore his team's jersey and went on to play the game he so dearly loved right away.

The game made him forget all his turmoil for a while.

Basketball was not just his hobby but also passion, and for all the right reasons, he was feeling damn good that even though temporarily, he could distract himself from everything that was happening in his life in recent times.

Just that the feel good moment of his was short lived, as in hind sight he spotted her standing at one corner of the ground, looking at a bunch of kindergarteners playing on the swing, and simultaneously saw how aggressively some guys were playing football and cricket right across that side.

Alert in a jiffy, he ran towards her, and boy, he was so right.A full-forced football was all set to hit her hard, when in reflex he shouted on top of his voice: ''WATCH OUT!''

And she immediately ducked, evading the recklessness of the ball but in the process she hurt her ankle.

''Shit!''

He had remarked as he watched her wince in pain and unknowingly, he could feel her pain within him.

As he approached her and took her sprained ankle in his hands, he could see for the first time in the closest proximity, how delicate she was.He could also distinctly see her extravagant features, her innocent, doe-eyed hazel eyes, full pink lips, her pale white skin, and all of it was making him dizzy.

She winced once again and that's when his reverie broke and he diverted his attention back to her injured foot, and said in a voice blended with concern and helplessness, ''Thoda dard hoga.'' (It might pain a little).

And just then he had twisted her ankle back again to help the pain go away and she had subsequently clutched his shirt, shutting her eyes tight, and that single touch from her had evoked in him immeasurable, indescribable feelings.

Ones he had never felt before.And that had cemented all his thoughts, all his feelings for her once again.

As if on cue, he had inched closer to her, unknowingly letting his control slip away, for the first time he was hopelessly letting his resolution to wait for some more days fade away and claim what was his.

His Khushi.

But right then Payal had appeared in the scene, stopping him in his tracks and bringing him back to reality, and all he could do was rush away from there, leaving the two friends to themselves.

.

.

As he sat in his huge empty cabin, sipping on his third cup of coffee now, he smiled in dejection thinking about the irony of things.

That day, that day was the last time he had seen her, and all that he knew now was that had he known that time that it was the last time he was seeing her face, feeling her touch, he would have made sure to freeze that moment right there.

But who was he kidding?

That memory among all his memories was the one he dreaded to recall.It still made him face multitudes of everything at once.Anger, disgust, helplessness, melancholy, and longing.A longing to see her, to feel her, to tell her all that he wanted to.

And the irony bit you may ask?

Although he could never confess his feelings to her, neither on that last day nor any time after that, he did confess it to someone else, rather, some other people.Who?

He chuckled disappointed with his own self as the scene flashed once again before his eyes. The scene from the boys' locker room.

The match was finally over and he was having a good time with his team mates and some friends in the locker room, talking about random topics: From the upcoming exams to what they would miss the most from school and then of course, their girlfriends, etc.

That is when one of his friends who was a part of the 'Bet programme' had asked him:

''So what was with Gupta, huh? You looked all enchanted by her at the ground. I thought you were enjoying the bet of wooing a nerd like her, way off your standard, but what was that look you were giving her?''

He had looked at that friend for a good five seconds before speaking what he had to.

''Shut up dude! A bet is a bet! You people challenged me, and I won. She can never be my type! Never was, never is, never will be! School's getting over and the bet too. So none of it matters anymore. And at the ground, the stupid girl had sprained her ankle. So I was helping her, out of humanity! Not because I am her boyfriend or something, get that?''

He had paused deliberately while he saw everyone waiting for him to continue since they could make out he had to say something more, and so he did.

''Well, I guess this is what you all wanted to hear from me, and trust me, this is what I would have said had things been on a different note, but guess what? Things aren't. So team! Hate me or kill me, but I, Arnav Singh Raizada, hereby declare that I don't give a f*ck about that bet, know why? Because..''

He paused, making many people gasp as he finally said it, confessed it out loud verbally for the first time ever.

''Because I have fallen in love with her. With Khushi Gupta.''..

He closed his eyes as the pain of never being able to tell her all that once again resurfaced in his mind. He recollected how some of his friends had hugged him in delight because to them it was for the first time that he had declared his love for someone, because they had seen him previously involved in were only flings. Whereas, some of his friends had given him astounded looks, that remarked, 'What?'' 'Why?'' 'How?''

To which he had later explained them everything, and to his happiness, they had finally understood his side, his feelings, and vowed to make it all perfectly best for him after he confessed his feelings to her.

Little did he know that amidst all this, his happiness was going really far away from him.

His Khushi was going far away from him...He had left her so many messages on Facebook, texted her on her phone, to wish her all the best for her boards, but neither did any of those texts get delivered to her phone, nor did she ever come online on Facebook again.

As on today, he didn't know if she even read any of his messages that time, given that the 'Seen'' feature for messages on Facebook didn't really exist at that point of time.

Only he knew how he had managed to write his boards, her thoughts always resonating in the back of his head, not letting him think clear. To his disadvantage, there exam centers too were located at two extreme corners of Delhi city, and it was humanly impossible for him to track her from her exam center, because the timings of their exams remained the same, so he couldn't even reach her no matter how much he wanted to.

In fact, she hadn't even attended the official farewell of theirs, and as a result of that, in that much talked about farewell, where he was declared Mr. Greenfield, he hadn't even waited to deliver his thank you speech and had left the party almost immediately after the winner announcements.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, yet there was no trace of Khushi.

As if she never existed.

The results were out and in her college and stream, she had topped, while he had attained decent marks, knowing very well that he could have done better, but couldn't because his mind was too clouded.

The rumor mills said she had relocated to her native town, which was Lucknow, while others said that she had gone to the States for her further studies.

He had looked for her like a mad man, even gone to her address to check on her, but it looked like the place was already empty, and the property was sold to someone else. Even asking the neighbors tactfully about where the Guptas went got him no fruitful reply, and that's when he knew he was moving in circles where he had no definite destination, for his destination, the girl he had begun loving like crazy, was long gone.

In all this, his studies took a backseat, as a result of which instead of studying abroad, he had to do his graduation domestically from Delhi University, because no matter how powerful his dad was, he never let it play a role in building Arnav's academic career.

He kept stalking her Facebook profile to see at least one ounce of reaction from her, but there was nothing. At this point, he would have been rather glad had she blocked him or unfriended him from her Facebook, but to his utter helplessness, she did neither of it, and remained callous, her profile never showing any new update, and ever since then everything remained stagnant.

He tried searching her on other social networking sites, but he never got a glimpse of her ever again.

He sighed as he now played with the paperweight on his desk and recalled how even now he had tried hunting her down by searching her on Linkedin, Instagram, and every other possible social media platforms that could exist, but the result remained the same.

Even now.

He threw the paperweight harshly on the floor in aggression, as his helplessness laughed at him, for today, today, he was a self made man, who had built an empire and taken it to even greater heights than his dad could ever possibly had, yet there was one thing where he had failed, miserably.

His love.

He gritted his teeth as an indefinite blanket of anger enveloped him.He recalled how after his under graduation course, he was still a loner, and tried beyond his limits to find her, but to no avail. And finally he had been fed up, fed up of everything- be it her disappearance, her indifference or his own failure as a person. And so he had decided to never look back again.

He had devoted all his attention towards his studies, his dream, Harvard University, and hence, had poured his mind and soul in cracking the entrance, getting selected, and finally addressing his dreams, his wishes, his career, more than anything else.But before leaving India, he had done one thing he should have done long ago.

He had confessed.

His feelings, his thoughts, his insecurities, his stupidity, his strength, his weakness- all of it.He had sent all of it to her through the only medium that had connected her to him in the first place: Facebook.

Because he knew that sooner or later she would see it, and he wished it to be sooner, and also because the probability of his feelings reaching her was much high through this mode of connection rather than anything else, because on the surface if one had to see it, Khushi Gupta was someone who was practically non-existent.

And with that final task done, he had left India, to pursue his further studies, his MBA in Harvard University, where life took a different turn, and he became a different person.Not only was his focus only on his career, but he became crude, manipulative, and arrogant, as one after another, he kept getting success in all forms, be it in his exams, internships, or some real business deals that followed soon after.

In that phase, he did date a lot of women, hoping against hope that the void that a certain someone had left in his heart would get filled, but to his disappointment it never did.

For he always searched a floral top blue skirt attire in every girl who tried to seduce him, he looked for innocent doe-shaped hazel orbs in every heavy mascara laden eyes that tried to impress him, he sought for a pure, selfless, petite girl in every modern, sophisticated, successful model that tried to get cozy with him.

In short, he still searched for Khushi Gupta in each and everything, each and every person that he came across.

And oh, the maple leaves were one among the many objects that reminded him of her.

So 8.5 years later, Arnav Singh Raizada was different. Very very different, yet when it came to things about her, he was still a raging teenager, who had no idea why his love story had ended long before it had even begun!

He sighed as the little chain of thought like always ended with the conclusion line that had been a possibility in his head, yet he couldn't legit find any semblance of it with what happened. And that is: 

What if she had come to know about the bet?

The line would always make him feel downtrodden, but he knew that there was no way she could have come to know if it. He had double checked with his friends and he trusted them when they had assured him that they had never opened their mouths about the bet, for regardless of who and what his choice was, they still supported him if he actually fell in love with Khushi.

But in some corner of his mind, the guilt still stayed with Arnav and so did the inkling of the possibility that this was one reason who could not really rule out from the equation of why she had absconded.

And the other part of him was simply angry with her, damn pissed off to be precise to have walked out of his life without any forewarning, the fact that still gave him sleepless nights pretty often. 

He had contemplated many theories since then, one of which was that she must have moved on in her life by now and would have read his confessions through Facebook and deliberately not reverted for she didn't feel the same way about him. That theory panged his heart but he still regarded it as one of the possibilities, nonetheless.

As with a heavy heart, he tried to regain his composure, his conscience berating him for revisiting that memory lane that always started with joy and ended with nothingness, his phone rang out loud, becoming the first intruder in his introspection session.

As soon as he looked at the caller's name, he sat straight, for he knew if he sounded distressed, he would be showered with a never ending session of questions.

'Hi Di!''

He said in a voice as calm as possible, while from the other end an overly chirpy Anjali replied,

''Chote! Hum pehle hi sorry bol rahe hai, but please please please, tumhe humara ek kaam karna hoga!''(Chote! I am saying sorry before itself, but please, please, please, there's a favor you need to do for me!)

Arnav rolled his eyes at his sister Anjali's dramatic words and said, ''Di, cut the drama and shoot! What happened?''

Anjali giggled knowing the kind of face her little brother would have made and said in a voice which wasn't so clear thanks to the noise in the background,

''Woh Chote! Actually I have come to my friend's baby shower and I totally forgot that I had to collect Adrita's reports from the hospital. They had said they would mail it to me, but how stupid of me, I mistakenly gave them my ID which is no more functional! Chote! Please, can you fetch the reports from the hospital? It's very close to your office!''

''Di, stop it. Why are you behaving like you are begging of something from a stranger? I am your brother for god's sake! I will get the reports! Tell me, which hospital?''

Arnav asked.

Anjali giggled at her brother's words like always and said quickly before hanging up,

''Royal Horizon!''

.

.

As he parked his car at the parking lot of the hospital, a cold breeze greeted him, making his heart skip a beat.

He didn't know what the winds were trying to tell him, but a certain part of him constantly reminded him of her.

He shook his head in dismissal, annoyed with his own stupid mind because after all these years, all the changes, it still had her etched on it like she was never gone, whereas the truth was, she had disappeared long ago.

He blamed thinking about her for so long in the office, for what he was feeling right now, and with that self-explanation, he entered the hospital lobby, and went on to collect the report of his four year old niece, Adrita Jha, from the reception.

''I am here to collect the blood reports of my niece, Adrita Jha.''

He told the receptionist, while the latter looked at him and told him to wait for some time.She disappeared into a room and came back after a minute or so with a file in her hand and while checking it herself said with conviction, ''The reports are normal. The viral infection was only due to season change, nothing else.''

Arnav only nodded at her words and waited to hold the file in his hands, when suddenly the receptionist said, slightly alert, ''Oh! Just a second, sir. Since the reports were to be emailed to the patient's mother, these copies aren't signed by the doctor. Can you please wait for a moment till I get her signature on these reports?''

Like Arnav haid any other option.

So he nodded nonchalantly while the receptionist flashed him a small smile before disappearing into a cabin at the end of the corridor.

.

.

Arnav waited patiently for the woman to come back with the doctor's signature, because somehow, he was getting some weird yet powerful vibes from this place.

He didn't know the reason, but all he felt was exceptionally uncanny here, as if something was coming or something was not right.

He curled his fingers into tight fists, not able to figure out what was wrong with him and this place, when suddenly the receptionist's voice broke his trance, as she said: ''Sorry to make you wait for so long, sir. Here! Please take the reports.''

Arnav nodded lightly at those words thanking the lady as he took the file from her hands, only to have the biggest shock of his life greet his sight, as his gaze remained fixated on the freshly done doctor's signature:

Signed,Dr. Khushi G.

.

.

He felt his throat go dry and the world around him came to an unwarranted still, as he kept looking at the piece of paper without even blinking his eyes, and if it wasn't for the receptionist's voice that asked him ''Is everything okay, sir?'' he would have remained just like that there, like a statue.

'Who.. what.. who is my niece's, I mean Adrita's doctor?''

He asked her in a tone that was desperate, urgent, yet unsure. The familiar handwriting making him collide with a gush of raw memories that he could never bury even after such a long time.

The lady looked at him curiously before replying, ''Dr. Khushi Gupta, sir. She too is an Indian like you, from New Delhi I believe.''

And as soon as those words reached his ears, he wasted not a fraction of second as he turned on his heels, sparing no glance at anyone, as with long quick strides, he headed towards the end of the corridor where he knew her cabin was.

Dr. Khushi Gupta's.

.

.

She was done for the day and had to go home to take some much needed rest, for she had to leave for the conference tomorrow, and so she was packing up her things.

Khushi had been feeling a little restless since the past 15 days for reasons unknown but she didn't know why today, the magnitude of all of it had increased tenfold.

Maybe it was just because of the fact that in the morning she had once again visited the memory lane that consisted of him, when she shouldn't have.

And this was precisely why she was constantly getting weird essence, feels of him, when she already knew that her inferences were practically impossible to be real.

And so with a heavy sigh she locked her stethoscope in her drawer and straightened herself as she stood up, only to hear her PA's voice from outside, slightly louder than usual, saying to someone:

''I am sorry sir, but you can't meet her without an appointment.''

Confused, she quirked her brows, not knowing what was happening outside, and even before she could take one stride to look into the matter herself, the biggest horror and shock of her life, stood in front of her, in flesh and blood, unannounced.

ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA.

After eight and a half long years.

**