Me: *walks out of bathroom looking at phone with earbuds in*
Tucker: *cat-ninjai stalks over*
Me: *steps on his kitty toes with my human toes* *mENTAL SCREAM* *JUMP BACK AWAY AWAY MISSION ABORT* *ABOUT TO KARATE CHOP THE HECK OUTA SOMEONE*
Tucker: Mrrrow! *f- u man*
Me: ... *well* *his toes were soft* *I love him but I hate him*

Me from earlier today: *practicing meowing like a cat*
Grandmother: Tucker are you okay??
Me: *eventually fakes that he was messing with me while I was trying to make food* This boi-

Me slightly later: *gives him a few chunks of tuna*
Tucker: Meow!!! *I SMELLS* *WHERE* *sniffs plastic from the fake Christmas tree*
Me: *has to literally get down and point at the chunk of tuna* Tucker-

Sister: *fussing over Tucker*
Tucker: *is held by me*
Mom: *talking about the cat bed*
Sister: If I sits I fits *as Tucker*

Me: I'm going to actually try to get on a normal sleep schedule tonight-
Uhh nah it's been an hour since I said that and Duolingo get out I don't need notifications at one in the morning bruh

Me: Tucker my bed is yours you can sleep wherever you like
Tucker: *lays down between my legs*
Me: .......
Tucker: *cute sleepy kitty*