https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE6lHJXcnV8

Isolation complete.

This is Alyssa's left brain.
Objective. Logical. Cold. Analytical. Aware of patterns. Aware of trends. She's efficient-- and a prick.

This is Alyssa's right brain.
Subjective. Creative. Sensory. Aware of feelings. Aware of people. She's emotional-- and an idiot.

Right: That's your opinion. Just-- careful with opinions.

Alright girls...

Play nice.

Left: I am the Left Brain, I am the Left Brain
"I work really hard till my inevitable death" Brain
You've got a job to do? You'd better do it right
And the right way, is with the Left Brain's might

Right: I like Oreos and pussy, Yes! In that order!
And I cried for at least an hour after
Watching Toy Story 3
Woody!
I am the Right Brain
I have feelings
I'm a little all over the place,
But I'm lustful and trustful
And I'm lookin' for somebody to love

Left: Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest out, take your phone and check your email
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate,
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate

Right: HOLY FUCK, I think she might be the one!
There's something about her
I just can't describe it...

Left: ....Tits.

Right: I am the earth, she's the glorious sun!
I want her to trust me
And I just want her to-- how do I say this?
Sit on my face-- sit-- SIT ON MY FACE!

Left: Alright now, Right Brain, you're being insane.

Right: No, Left Brain!
I'm just being alive!
You should try it.
You might liiiike iiiit!!

Left: I worked hard to give her everything she cared about.
You were worried about the things that she was scared about.
I'm calm and collected, when you act wild.
I am the adult, you are the child.

Right: You think you're the right one every time!
You think you know everything,
But you don't know anything
At all.
Half of her problems were supposed to be mine!
But you wanted everything!
I hope that you're happy, because she's sure not!

Left: Well according to my calculations-- I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again, um-- you're a pussy.

Right: Name calling, really, you're gonna just do name calling?

Left: It's not calling names, alright? I'm just stating facts, okay? And the fact is: you're a quivering pussy.

Right: I'm the pussy? Well at least I don't play with toys still, okay?

Left: Rubik's Cubes are not toys. They keep my spatial reasoning skills...sharp.

Right: Left Brain plays with toys! Look at you, Mrs-- You're a toy player--

Left: Well at least I did my fucking job! Alright? I kept her working, I kept her productive. You were supposed to look after her. You were supposed to keep her emotionally stable for all this. Now you're trying to blame me for how she's feeling. How she's FEELING! If she's "feeling" unhappy it's because you failed her! You did this to her, she hates you, I know she does! SHE FUCKING HATES YOU!

Right: ....*sobs*

Left: Right Brain look, I'm sorry, okay?

Right: No you're noooot....

Left: Look, maybe there's something that we could do together

Right: Together?

Left: Take the best parts of both of us-
Put 'em together

Right: I'm listening.

Left: It would let you let your feelings out
It would let me analyze
So you could man the themes, I'll man the form
It's something that George Carlin did
It's something that Steve Martin did
It's something special that we could both perform...
Do you know what it is?

Right: JUGGLING! We could juggle, and juggle our cares away!

...

Left: It was-- It was comedy. We could do comedy together, and--

Initiate reassembly.

Left: Alright Right Brain look, we're gonna do comedy together, alright? We gotta do comedy!

Right: Alright! Alright Left Brain, I'll do comedy with you!

Left: Look, we can fix her like this! We can make her happy again, I promise, alright?

Commencing reformation into singular mind: in five,

Right: Left Brain!

Four,

Right: Left Brain, I love you!

Three, Two, One...

...

Left: I know.

Experimentation complete.

~Aly