MASSIVE TW ABOUT A SUICIDE NOTE:

TW: Vomiting, suicide. 

"If you really think about it.

My life is just some...mess. Shaky, awful mess that I wish I could've changed to make myself better. But now I just don't understand anything.

 My life is just some horrible, terrible, mess. It's been like, "oh I've been there." Just there, everyone can stare at me, I don't have any interesting ideas or anything to share out. It's been plain. I'm plain. Feeling odd and constantly worried about everyone and how they feel, scared to feel like I've been lied to or hurt. Feeling like I'll hurt some also which I've been doing for a while now. Yeah sure, I've been a sociopath towards everyone, and sure I've been terrible. But at the same time, I haven't been...ya know...mature, mature for everyone. I haven't changed. Never did and never will. Feeling like I'm in a loop where I make mistakes little by little and just mess things up again. And one day, if you'll burn out and constantly feel like this enough...you're end up just like me! And then...you'll end up being hanged by a rope. I'm sorry. For feeling this way, sorry for being awful and such. I feel like I havent been controlling my feelings or how I act, doing dumb stuff and such...I don't understand people's feelings or how they act so I can't replicate it or really know enough to make it feel like...I'm a good person. I'm sorry. For everything. I hope you understand. It's for the better. But knowing how things are, and how I've been just a clingy attaching person. I never had any friends or anything..so I always assume that was the case...I have no friends irl that cares for me or anything, no one would pick me in a room filed with people...not even people irl. And don't even lie, you wouldn't pick me or anything. Because whatever I do, there's gonna be a mistake that'll change how you all view on me and it's just some big mess. I am not as important as anyone thinks. Crying and vomiting on the ground wishing I could've have a second chance. But I've had one too many. I'm a bit too Embarrassing to be around. And I'm afraid I can't change that. I really hope you understand my life is just some mess I can't handle. 

And if you grow up to becoming like this...you'll end up just like me. A mistake. If you're reading this...I'm dead."

- Late 2023-Early 2024 Fluffy.

Yeah old me ya did several mistakes and that note was fucking worthless but okay >:( 

OKAY NOW IM ALIVE- aha- uhhh I was planning on doing this for a while...

Cried like 7 times in a day after having a conversation with my mom about my depression, yay I'm getting into therapy- I got some advice to someone anomalous, and I'm not gonna say anything about wanting to kill myself or anything like that or how much I wanna cut myself or whatever. Unless I wanna be sent to a 48 hour hospital. Gosh this is the 5th day of dealing with school how much longer can I handle. I'm on the god damn verge to fucking ending it all. I can't handle this anymore. NOTE THIS HAPPENED LITERALLY YESTERDAY. 

My brother is so retarded like he fucking blamed the devil for causing my depression like what the fuck is wrong with him. I am not a Cristian or anything as I'm agnostic but now he's saying I need to fucking get closer to Jesus. 

"Mmmmmmmmyes that bitch caused me to get depression and anxiety. Remember that fucking 5th grader committing suicide last year when he was fucking bullied? Yeah that's the devil, he did that. not how terrible the school system was and how the teachers weren't doing shit about how he was bullied a lot. The devil mmmmyesire Bob he did it, he's the main culprit and not the bitches who bullied him." 

Anyways enough about the rant because now I'm over it and just being comforted with my mom who actually fucking cares about me ahem uh 

Ahem anyways art booom

HATSUNE MIKUUUUU :DDDD I ALWAYS WANTED TO DRAW HER BUT EIENENIENIIINNN MY ART SYYLE BACK YHEN WAS KINDA TRASH :'D

Uhhh yer a r T 

I'm not gonna make it through this school year- aahhhhh

I heard like 10th grade is like the hardest grade to deal with especially college planning so ughhhssbjsbisnikkbb

Every class is pain shit like ushsihsniisnsiis what is happening 

I mean the ELA teacher was nice, after my meds were kicking in I was struggling to process and sleep, seeing how everyone was done with the assignment and I wasn't- but once I submitted I explained my reasoning and she was happy about my effort which made me happy- and then after that I was crying through the school so uhh- awkwarddddddd

Human Twistiannnn :000 I might draw more of him :333 

More Twistian :D

When 

When Addie when when Addie when when when when she when when TheAddieDragon 

When Gradient is just that hot and smashable

Some sketches of Fotia with Straight hair :000

She's a little silly :33

The sketch: *depression

The result: Hapi :3 

She's a little depressed silly who's just that silly :D

I didnt wanna make every art look like she's an amgy peep ]:

She's a proud women

Having a man like Vector that she loves :33 :D Endera276

I'm still experimenting, especially for the kids- please don't tell me he looks like an adult :'|

He's a sad boi ):

Okay now onto the VC stuff uuuuuuu

War__Tie

IM SORRY BUT THEYRE SMASH OKAY LIKE THEY NEED MUSCLES AND IT HAS THE WHOLE PACKAGE WAR TIE

IM SORRY BUT I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHHDHDH I LOVE HIS DESIGH ;0;

War tie don't challenge me >:0

OMG NEW OC REAL

The way this man existed is because of damn war tie and his new OC and you do NOT wanna know how he existed- his name is Maggot (obviously-) and I'm still thinking of his new name ;w; 

I love him so much he's a little insane boi but I'm sad that I might forget him ): 

All I can say is, I love maggots now :3 

He has friend

A maggot and a very insane traumatized little maggot :3 

Touch him at least a single time and he'll grab your arm and spawn a maggot into your arm and make sure you'll suffer. He ain't playing- 

An art that I forgor to post but was too lazy to post it in the first place uuuuuu SquishyWritesStories ;w;