this mentions religion, so if your uncomfortable around that I guess you shouldn't read this.

basically, I've been thinking about a lot of stuff recently. Mostly, what if everything I've been raised to believe isn't real.

I just recently realized (idk why I didn't sooner) that God and Heaven and stuff might not exist and it might just be some stuff people made up. And now I'm back to questioning why humans are here, why I'm here, and how earth and humans were created.

And honestly, I believe in reincarnation, and really hope it's possible to somehow remember previous lives. I just don't wanna leave earth and reincarnation is a way to do that.

Perhaps when you die, you blink and then suddenly you can't remember anything else and you are looking at your new family, taking the first breaths of your new life. Maybe it's just that simple, and now your a new person in a new life somewhere new. New.

I just don't wanna keep dealing with all the shit in my life and the world right now. It's a lot for me and I'm just sick of it. Especially with the election, since I don't think either of them are fit to be president.

And I just kinda wanna be reincarnated and just start a new life. I don't know if reincarnation works like that since I just learned about it a year or two ago and theres still a lot I have to know, but I just wanna be like a wolf or something or a bird and be able to get away from the world and just restart.

I wanna like, hit a button or something and start back at the beginning. Maybe if I wasn't so stubborn or maybe if I didn't fight back so much, then perhaps something would be different. Or maybe I have to question others more so I could've convinced my mom not to trust Matt and Dan and my "dad".

I just don't like the world right now. I'm not suicidal, I'm just confused. Really, really confused.