i still couldn't configure my thoughts.

in front of me sat a blank canvas and in my hand, a paintbrush bare from color.

i couldn't paint.

not when all my thoughts were about her.

her blue eyes, and the way the would look at me as if i was crazy.

her nose twitching whenever she would try and suppress a small smile.

but it still wasn't that smile.

the smile that had made me start all of this.

the smile that made me hope for happiness; not only for myself, but for her.

my body ached to see her that happy again.

i needed a plan.

my time was eventually going to run out.

what if she tried to kill herself again?

what if she actually succeeded?

enraged at the thought, i pushed the canvas and the stand over and stood up, pulling my hair with my fists.

i couldn't loose her.

and as much as i refused to admit, something inside me felt something for her.

something more than compassion and hope.

even if she didn't feel the same, i was still determined to make sure that she could finally be happy.

i would never be able to live with myself if i never reached my goal.

scars would embed themselves on my heart.

and i don't think i would ever be able to paint again.

i gripped the paintbrush firmly in my hand and took a deep breath.

then i released it.

i had a plan.

dipping my paintbrush in yellow, i lifted my arm to the canvas and began to paint, a smile on my face.

amazing gif created by LotteHolder