『 @islandapricots 』

✰ cover
The cover is gorgeous! I even went to check out who did it but they no longer seem active... unfortunately. It is very nice! Although, I'm not sure who the man is on the cover itself. I'm assuming he's Sansone because of the way Isioma described him in the book, however, in the character aesthetic he has brown hair? Just wanted to make sure.

✰ title
The title is super unique. I'm still wondering what it could mean but I'm sure that it'll be further explained as the story continues.

✰ blurb
The blurb is very short but I don't think there's anything wrong with that! I like how 'to the point' it is. I just have some suggestions on how to make it a bit clearer:

Seven friends, one goal, and many secrets. As tensions rise between kingdoms, friends, and loved ones, the infighting creatures have only one goal: to vanquish the Overlord and put him to deep sleep.

✰ characters
I love that Winona is a ballerina! I rarely come across characters as a ballerina so when I found out, I was stoked! I absolutely love ballet. She also has a very fiery personality, it seems. Is it because her power is to harness fire? If so, then that's pretty cool.

Isioma is such a strong-willed character and I love her! I really like to read about characters who fight for what they want and what they believe in. The fact that her parents won't let her be with who she loves is such a tragic tale. But I'm glad that she didn't let them get through to her.

✰ plot
This plot is very distinct and not something I've read before. I love the fantasy genre, but only when it's done right, and I think you've nailed it so far. There are so many different and interesting creatures in this world and I hope you flesh it out so much more.

✰ pacing
The pacing is great. It didn't feel rushed nor too slow, but I do have to mention that the chapters are quite short. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I just hope that you can flesh out the character's personalities just a bit more in the future.

✰ grammar/language
There are still a few instances where you mix past and present tense, but I can definitely tell that you're getting better at working through it.

I just want to help fix up this paragraph by showing you the differences between past and present tense:

Here it is in the past tense:

She fell to her knees, panting as sweat rolled down her face onto the rocky ground. The girl looked up to see that he had come back, offering his hand. She reluctantly took it but pulled herself up eventually.

Here it is in the present tense:

She falls to her knees, panting as sweat rolls down her face onto the rocky ground. The girl looks up to see that he's come back, offering his hand. She reluctantly takes it but pulls herself up eventually.

Hopefully, you can see the differences. It is rather hard to distinguish the two, I'm still working on it myself, but I'm sure you'll get there with time. I prefer to write in past tense because it's much easier, but I commend you for writing nearly the entire story in present. It's very commendable!

I also want to mention that your descriptions are wonderful! Keep it up!

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, I'm having a lot of fun reading your story! I can't wait to read what happens next. I hope this was helpful! Please let me know if you have any questions. Good luck in all your writing endeavors!

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!